Druv’s Stardew sideblog

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First of all, he does say "Congratulations on the marriage." I don't think he would have bothered to say that if he didn't mean it. Demetrius is a pretty straightforward guy once you get past his jargon.

Second, we must consider the sort of man Demetrius is: overly logical and rigid. This does not mean, however, that he doesn't care about the people around him. Think about it: for him to ponder renovating Sebastian's old room, he has to be operating under the assumption that Sebastian will never need it again now that he's gotten married and moved out. I would say this is his strange, roundabout way of saying, "I have faith in Sebastian's choices. I believe his marriage and overall life from now on will be successful. Now that he's onto new and better things, here's this perfectly good space left that no one else is using."

Could he have made that clearer? Absolutely. But he's just not that good at communicating feelings. I can speak about this angle as confidently as I do because I can get the same way at times.

Moreover, should you choose to divorce Sebastian (Yoba forbid!), he moves back into Robin's house with no issue. If Demetrius had been in the process of converting the space, he would have had to willingly give it up.

As for his remark about tears of joy being a "peculiar concept"...he might have said that because his brain associates tears with sadness or stress rather than joy. I personally have never cried when I was really happy about something, but I sure have cried when really upset!

Also, I'm tempted to chalk this up as poor writing on Mr. Barone's part. But for some reason, haters are less inclined to consider that in Demetrius's case than in those of their favorites.

Based on his quirks and interactions, I suspect that Demetrius is on the spectrum. (I know, an autistic man with a special interest in science is as stereotypical as it gets! But that's what we have to work with.) His interests and routines are unusually limited in scope. He has an overly concrete and logical way of seeing things, which occasionally causes friction between him and Robin. When she asks him for fruit, he brings her tomatoes because tomatoes are technically fruit (despite the game classifying them as Vegetables, go figure) and she hadn't specified what kind of fruit she wanted. He fails to understand Robin's artistic approach to building a bed because he focuses more on the function of a bed rather than the bed's potential aesthetic value. Contrast this with his praise for Leah's wood sculptures at her art show, which are meant to be treated as pure art from the outset.

Even so, he goes dancing with Robin at the saloon once a week and watches the sunset with her. At the Stardew Valley Fair, he says:

He adores Maru and bonds with her through their shared passion for all things STEM but can be overprotective of her--to the point of making veiled threats toward potential suitors (e.g., you). Meanwhile, he acts rather dismissive toward Sebastian despite the guy's own talents in computing and mechanics. He once orders Sebastian to tear down his "snow-goon" when there is no clear evidence to us of its offensiveness. Granted, we only get Sebastian's side of the story and don't get to see the snow sculpture for ourselves, so we can't be sure who was actually in the wrong in that situation.

On the other hand, Demetrius does have a copy of a self-help book on how to be a good stepfather. It's unclear whether this is a new thing he's trying to do or an endeavor he'd once tried at but gave up on. It's likewise difficult to say how much of the family's overall dysfunction is his fault and how much of it is Robin's. After all, we never really see her acknowledge or try to bridge the gap between her husband and her son, and she also shows a lot of preference toward Maru. (With that said, Robin does confide in you some of her worries regarding Sebastian, mentioning how difficult it's been to get him to open up to her even though she is Sebastian's favorite parent. So it isn't like he's being completely ignored.)

In any case, Demetrius can acknowledge when he's in the wrong and does sincerely apologize, such as during Maru's 10-Heart Event.

Finally, I offer an alternative interpretation to his distance from Sebastian. Sebastian is a self-professed introvert who finds it tiresome to interact with people after a point, even if they're family, and he for whatever his reasons isn't that fond of Demetrius. Some quotes from the official Wiki:

Uhhh, Seb? Even for an introvert, this doesn't sound like a very healthy way to approach relationships...

What if Demetrius has tried to bond with Sebastian, only for Sebastian to reject the attempts? Seb could have very well told the man, "Leave me alone!", and Demetrius respected his wishes. He just, unfortunately, ends up going too far with it. Over-correcting, as some autistic people like myself may do.