...your praise becomes worship. Does that make sense? Allow me to explain... Okay, so for the majority of my life (like 22 years), I struggled to worship God. And no, I don't mean I struggled to go through the motions of worship. I had absolutely no problem singing, shouting, dancing, lifting my hands, kneeling at the altar, or even laying face down in His presence. What I mean by this is that I actually (subconsciously) struggled to worship God with everything inside of me, for who He was, for who He is, for who He always will be. You see, I could lift my hands and dance and and sing for hours, but at the end of the day, I was only praising Him for what He had done in my life, for what He had delivered me from, for the future promises I knew He was going to fulfill one day. So why was my worship limited for so long, you might ask? Because my perception of the Father was skewed. Because I believed a lie about His heart towards me. Because I doubted that He was really as good He said He was. So if I couldn't worship Him for everything that He was, the only thing I had to fall back on was praising Him for what He had done. You see, I knew that I loved Him...even if I didn't understand Him. I loved Him because He brought me to the closest place to heaven on earth...an incredible ministry school called SCSL. He had met me in my brokenness and called me far, far away to a city and a state where I knew absolutely no one, to a place where He could begin to heal and restore my heart. He stripped away every distraction, every temptation, every sin that so easily entangled me and brought me to a place where I was challenged and encourage to pursue Jesus and His plans for my life. Amazing, right...? Absolutely! But something was still missing. I knew that I loved Him because of all He had saved me from...including death, He literally saved me from an eternal death. But I didn't truly KNOW Him. I didn't understand His heart for me. As a result, I was left with worship-less praise each time I entered His presence. Now, before you misunderstand me, let me say this. I believe in giving God thanks. I believe in praising Him for all the blessings He so graciously pours out on us. Because the truth of the matter is this--we don't deserve any of it. We should live our lives in a constant state of thanksgiving. But! And this is a really big 'but' here. Our praise should remain secondary to our worship. I wholeheartedly agree with Pastor Chitty when he said this: "The church of Jesus Christ does not need favor or freedom to remain faithful and fruitful. Regardless of the circumstances we face, we better remain faithful and we better be fruitful." So here's my point. If our worship only goes as deep as thanking God for the things He has saved us from and the things He has blessed us with, what happens when we find ourselves facing trials, tribulations, persecution, or suffering? What will we fall back on then? Because the truth of the matter is that none of these things are pleasant to think about... But if we read the New Testament, if we read the Gospels or Paul's letters or 1 and 2 Peter or the Book of Revelation, we discover that these things are a huge part of our callings as Christians. Not only do we get to share in His glory but we also get to share in His sufferings. Jesus Himself said the world would hate us because it first hated Him. And I understand that this is a difficult thing for American Christians to grasp because we live in a country founded on freedom and rights. But look around and you'll see, times are changing, my friends. There is a movement going around, which extends tolerance to every group except Christians because we preach an offensive message. We preach what Jesus Himself taught when He walked this earth--He is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. And no one comes to the Father except through Him. That's not exactly a popular stance to take these days... Yet it is strangely exciting. Mainly because persecution has always been shown to fuel the growth of the Church. And you know what that means...lost sheep coming home to Father...the harvest is coming! As Christians, I feel like it's only natural (and biblical) for us to prepare ourselves for persecution one day. Some may call this a lack of faith...doubting whether or not God is actually big enough to deliver us. But allow me to share a different perspective. What some may see as a lack of faith, I see as an abundance of faith. Here is my perspective on persecution: Is my God big enough to deliver me from persecution? Absolutely! He can do it, and I believe that He is willing. BUT. Even if He doesn't, I will continue to worship Him. Because in my heart of hearts, I know that He is good and everything He does is good. I trust His heart towards me more than anything, and I also know that nothing in this world can touch me until He says it's time. I believe He can deliver me in a moment. But if He so chooses (in His perfect wisdom) not to deliver me, I will not let it affect my perception of Him, I will not let it stop my worship Him. I will worship Him, as long as I live. His name will always be exalted in my life. Because I know that His ways are not my ways...they are higher. And I trust Him. I trust Him. I trust Him. My worship is not dependent upon His favor or His blessings. My worship is not even dependent on my freedom to worship Him. My worship is dependent on His character... His perfect and good and holy and righteous character...which never changes. Regardless of the things I may face in these coming days, by His grace I will be found faithful. By His grace, I will not be shaken. By His grace, I will not be moved. By His grace, I will worship Him all the days of my life, until the glorious day when I meet my Savior face to face. I realize this was a fairly serious / deep post. But I say all of this to say--friends, let's be the kind of worshippers that God is after. Let's be worshippers who worship Him in spirit and in truth. Let's worship God for who He is, not what He can do to us. And may we always be found faithful, even if we are facing death. He is worth it. He is SO worth it. Oh Jesus, break our hearts...help our nation...heal our land... You're worthy of it all. All my love, Leah
