While he was driving from the airport to the hotel, he didn’t want to end the call. Every time he was standing at a redlight he stuck his tongue out to you and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “You know I will have to go soon. We’re going to the beach” you told him and saw how he leaned his arm against the window. “We’ve only been here for thirty minutes” he countered and you sighed again while putting your hair in a bun. “But we can still talk tonight. You will be out with Carlos for golf as well” you told him and he shrugged his shoulders. “You know I actually put you over Carlos” he said and you gasped. “Oh my god. Did I actually made that step? Can it get any better for me?” you asked and for the first time that day you heard him chuckle. “You have to tell me. Was that your goal, love?” he asked and you nodded. “Overtaking Carlos. Yes definitely” you nodded and packed your little bag while sticking your tongue out to him.

After a moment of silence you brought your eyes back to him and saw how he leaned his head against his hand. “I know it’s stupid after a week but I really miss you” he said quietly and you felt your heart aching. “I miss you too, Lando. But I promise you it’s only this week and then I will annoy you all over again. Don’t worry” you told him with a small smile and he nodded with the same smile. “Can’t wait” he sighed and pushed his hair back. “You should get going, huh? I don’t want your mum to be mad at me when you are late” he said and slightly waved to you. “She will never be annoyed. She loves you. But I really should go. And yes I have the orange bikini with me” you told him and rolled your eyes at his grin. “Knew that would make you happy” you added and he chuckled. “I love you” he said and you smiled while waving at him. “Love you too, silly”.

The whole day Lando send you some silly photos of him and also Carlos during their golf session. You chuckled at their videos and shook your head slightly. “What’s so funny?” your mum asked and you looked at her. “Lando is golfing and he’s just being silly” you told her and she smiled. “So nothing new” she said and you shook your head with a smile and send him some photos of you and the water as well.

Later in the evening, you excuses yourself a little earlier from dinner and called Lando on your way home. “Oh hi there” he said from the other side and you smiled when you heard his voice again. “Hey you. I am just walking home” you said and heard him fumbling around. “All alone?” he asked and you looked around yourself. “Yeah. I wanted to get home earlier” you said and heard the beeping from your phone. When you looked at it, you saw a facetime invite and accepted it quickly. “You can’t walk home all alone” he said with a worried tone and you showed him around. “Here is nobody around. And it’s only a ten minute walk” you told him and watched how his eyes wandered over your screen. “I just don’t like you walking around alone. Especially when it’s not home” he said and you smiled at him. “I am okay, Lando. And you know where I am” you ensured him and he sighed unhappy. “Just be careful. And talk loud enough” he said and you nodded while taking the path to your house.

“As you can see, I made it” you smiled and watched how he let out a breath he was holding. You pushed your shoes away and quickly walked upstairs before you set him into the cabinet in the bathroom before you started to take your make up off. “I think I am better at it then you” Lando said and you lifted your eyebrows. “Oh you think so?” you asked and he nodded. “I am so much more careful” he said and you quickly rinsed your face with water. “It does feel better” you told him and he grinned. “Hm. See I knew it” he said and you quickly changed into one of his hoodies before you laid down in bed.

“How was your day?” you asked and he did the same thing as you. “All good. I mean I bet Carlos in golf. That’s something to remember forever” he said and you chuckled. “You looked really cute. The curls are in a good state at the moment” you told him and watched how he pushed it around. “Since someone said I can’t cut them I’ll have to make it work, huh?” he said and you smiled happily while you chatted away with him.

Somehow you lost track of time sooner then you thought. You could see how tired he was but he didn’t want to end the call. You felt your eyes getting heavy and before you knew it, you fell asleep with him on the other end. When he saw your regular breathing through his half closed eyes, he smiled tiredly and took a quick screenshot before he hummed happily to himself and dozed off completely as well.

***

On Thursday morning you woke up much later then you had intended. You groaned slightly as you felt the sun hitting your face. You pushed your head into your cushion and tried to open one eye at the time. When you saw your phone leaning against the other cushion you smiled slightly and pressed the home button. You remembered falling asleep with him and saw his good morning message. “Hey, love. I had to go :( See you later, okay? I’ll call you x” he wrote and you smiled before you slowly got up and got ready again for the day.

You knew he would be more quiet because you knew how much the media day took of his energy. While you were laying in the sun and reading when you heard the familiar noise from your phone. You quickly reached for it and smiled at his little selfie and quickly saved it before you send him one back. That’s how you’ve spend as much of the day you could.

In the late evening when you were sitting on the couch with your family you saw your phone lighting up and smiled at it when you saw his name appearing. “Alright go take that call before you explode” your mum teased and you felt your cheeks heating up before you took it and quickly walked into your room. As you laid down you swiped across the screen and smiled at his tired face. “Sorry that it’s so late” he mumbled and you smiled before you shrugged it off. “You have a busy day and you are tired. I get it. And I know you” you said and saw the tired smile on his lips. “What would I give to have you here with me now” he said and you pulled the sheets up higher. “So you can pretend you don’t like it when I play with your hair” you told him and he huffed slightly. “Otherwise you stop sooner” he countered and pushed his hair back. “I’ll do it as much as you want when we’re back” you told him and he hummed happily.

“How were your interviews?” you asked and he just nodded slightly. “Was alright. Nothing too special. Bit boring not having you behind the camera pulling faces” he said and you poked the camera. “I am never distracting you” you said and he lifted his eyebrows. “Yeah alright. Whatever you say. But I bet when you look through interviews. There is enough evidence” he said and you quickly covered the camera before you heard his laughing before you stayed quiet for a moment.

“That’s why I need you here” he said after a while and you leaned your head to the side. “What do you mean?” you asked and watched how he played with his ring. “Even when I am tired as hell and don’t know what to do you just smile at me and that’s all I need” he mumbled and slowly lifted his eyes up to look at you again. “Lando” you started and he sighed quietly. “I know. I know. All good. I just want you to know” he mumbled and you sighed this time. “I feel honoured. And I’ll be there for the rest I promise”.

You managed to fall asleep with him again sooner this time. Of course he was tired and it was no surprise that he fell asleep sooner than you this time, leaving you watching at him with a slight ache in your heart again.

On Friday morning you woke up to the same picture as the morning before. Lando excused himself because he had to be at the track and you joined your family on a stroll through the city. “I have to be back in a bit” you said as you ate on your ice cream and your brother pushed your side. “Why? Anything special happening?” he asked with a smirk and you rolled your eyes. “Stop making fun of it. I won’t miss his session” you told him and your brother rolled his eyes. “As if anything will happen during training” he said and you shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t care. I promised it and that’s the deal” you said and your mother pushed her arm around you. “So we will go to the beach and you can connect from there, alright?” she said and you chuckled at her. “You think I am crazy, huh?” you asked her and she couldn’t help but laugh. “We gave up on that a while back” she joked and you gasped at her while she was still laughing.

And that’s where you found yourself a bit later. Looking at your iPad while your family was in the water. You hid underneath the umbrella and pushed your sunglasses away to proper see. During the session you had your fingers crossed the whole time. You looked out for the orange car the whole time but when the session ended, you sighed. P12 wasn’t what you wanted or what he wanted. You sat back and looked at the screen until every interview was over, not getting another glimpse of Lando.

With a slight pout you made your way to the water again and tried your best to cool your hot skin off. “How was it?” your mum asked and you shook your head. “P12. Not that good. We will see about tonight” you told her and she nodded before joining your swim across the water.

When you walked back home, you felt your phone vibrating and quickly got it out before you pressed the button and pushed the phone against your ear. “Hi there” you said and heard the loud noise on the other side. “One sec, love” Lando mumbled and you waited until it was quiet again. “Alright better” he said and you walked up to your room. “Did you watch?” he asked and you sat down on your bed. “Yeah I did. But that was training. Who cares about that, huh?” you tried to joke but you didn’t hear a laugh. “I am just feeling weird this weekend” he said honest and you bit down on your lip. “Lando. It’s all good. Training never says a lot about the race, okay? I am by your side just different” you said and heard his sigh. “I know. I am just. Pouty” he said and you smiled slightly. As cute as that looks sometimes. No pouting. Just get a got session in tonight and then I think you won’t be lower than the top five, okay?” you told him and even if you couldn’t see it, he was nodding. “Yeah I try my best. But I am used to having you here. I know that’s a first world problem but it’s just different” he said and you laid down. “It’s okay, Lando. Just know we are back home next weekend” you told him and he hummed. “I can’t wait” he said and you smiled. “Don’t tell my parents but same here” you said and he chuckled for a moment. “Might will. Just so I can brag” he said and you groaned.

The call was cut short when you heard Jon calling him. You said a quick goodbye and joined your family again but all you did was waiting for the next session.

While your mum was cooking, you were sitting in front of the TV with your brother and pushed your legs underneath the cushion. “My god stop being nervous” you brother said and you rolled your eyes at him. “Shut up” you mumbled and played with the hem of your hoodie. Quali always made you nervous but not being there made it worse. The first two session were okay but the end of the third one made your heart race. You watched the list on the left and jumped up when the chequered flags appeared one by another and Lando ended up on P4. “Yes!” you screamed and heard the chuckling from your mum. “Oh my god yes. Yes yes yes” you said and jumped to her. “Shit oh my god my heart” you mumbled and your mum pushed your hip. “No swearing. But I am happy for you” she said and leaned her head against yours. “I wish I could be there” you sighed and she smiled. “I mean you can” she said and you shook your head. “I am here with you, mum” you told her and felt her arm around you. “But I know your head is there. And you can come back on Monday” she said with a smile and you looked at her. “Mum why are you suggesting this?” you asked with a quiet voice and she smiled more. “Because I know you. And we still have almost a week next week. And maybe you can bring him with you. I talked with your dad. It’s okay she explained and you felt a lump in your throat. “Are you serious?” you asked and she chuckled. “Oh don’t cry now or I will. Yes we are serious. He’s always by your side and you are by his side. Me and dad weren’t better when we were your age” she grinned and you smiled at the ground before you hugged her.

“But I am still crazy” you whispered to her and she shrugged her shoulders. “Got it from me. Now come on. I want you to get your mind free again. Let’s find a way to get you to Monza”.

***

And you felt crazy standing at the airport the next day but a part of you was happy. Your mum was quick in waving you one last time before she drove off again and left you alone and wandering through the airport. You were never a friend of flying, especially alone but you pushed it aside for Lando and quickly made your way through the halls.

You didn’t said anything to him. You only let Jon know who organised you everything from the airport on. The flight wasn’t long thankfully and you found yourself in Italy quicker than you thought. You took a deep breath once you were outside and quickly rushed to the train station to catch your train.

Lando was messaging you from time to time but thankfully he was busy. You had missed the second training session and caught up on it on your way to the circuit. Your leg was wobbling up and down and you couldn’t hide the smile under your face as you watched the people around you. Once you arrived, you pushed the backpack on your back and made your way to the entrance. When you spotted one of the Mclaren team members waiting, you walked towards him and chuckled as he held the pass out for you. “You have to be his lucky charm then” he joked and you chuckled more as you shrugged your shoulders. “I am doing what I can. Hopefully not giving him a heart attack” you joked and scanned the pass before you walked through the paddock with him.

“He is with Jon somewhere. You can go into the garage. His room. Whatever you want” he said and excused himself before he left you. You looked around yourself and decided to wait in his room instead of the garage. You send Jon a quick message before you sat down on the little couch and waited for him. Your heart was pounding in your chest as you heard the voices passing outside. Every second you thought he would be there but when it good quiet again, you sighed slightly. The longer it took the more nervous you were, wondering if you did the right thing to surprise him so short before an important race.

You were so in your thoughts that you almost missed the door being opening. Your head turned quickly to it and you looked at Lando with big eyes as he walked through the door. He was chuckling as he turned around but as soon as he spotted you, he stood still. “What the fuck” he said under his breath and you smiled slightly before you stood up and opened your arms. “Surprise I guess” you whispered and before you could say more, he wrapped his arms tightly around you and pressed you against him and the wall. “What are you doing here” he whispered against your lips and you chuckled slightly. “Mum saw how lovesick I looked so she let me go for two days” you told him and pushed your fingers into his curls. “This is not a joke right?” he asked carefully as his eyes switched around your face. “If you let me sleep in your bed I will actually stay, yes” you said and saw his teary eyes before he pressed his lips onto yours.

You hummed against his lips and only let go of him when the air was cut short from your lungs. “I didn’t force you, did I?” he asked while pushing his nose against yours and you shook your head. “No. My mum did” you chuckled and finally saw his smile coming back. “And she wants you to come with me back to them. For the rest” you said while he walked back and pulled you with him to the couch. “Gladly. But right now. I just need you close” he whispered and pulled you onto his lap as he sat down.

You smiled at him and slowly wrapped his curls around your fingers. “You have no idea how happy you are making me” he whispered while you pressed a kiss to his cheek. “I don’t know why but it pulled me down” he added and you nodded slightly. “I could see that. But there is no reason for it, okay? You can just get a good race in and then we’ll drive back and just. Cuddle” you said and felt his smile against your cheek. “You have no idea how good that sounds” he hummed and pressed another kiss to your lips. “Got my smiley eyes back, huh” you teased him and he shrugged his shoulders. “You can tease as much as you want. I am just happy”.

And he really was. As you walked out of the drivers room, Lando was holding onto your hand and pushed the umbrella over your head and his. When you saw a camera in front of you, Lando stuck his tongue out and you chuckled behind your mask as he pulled you closer. “Good to see you happy” Kym said and Lando hummed while drawing small circles on the back of your hand.

As you arrived in his garage, you quickly thanked Jon for the organisation and hid behind Lando most of the time, not wanting to be in any focus. As he talked to his team, he held your hand behind his back and you could hear his smile as he was talking and you played with his ring.

You watched how he got dressed up in his suit and smiled as he joined you again in the corner. “Hey there” he said and pushed his fingers through yours. “All good?” he asked and you nodded while smiling behind your mask. “Happy to be with you” you said and he smiled before sneaking another kiss in. “Oh same. Trust me” he whispered and chuckled as you helped him with his helmet. “Now go out there and gain some places, okay?” you asked and he nodded before slightly bumping his head against yours. “I’ll do what I can” he said with a wink before he walked towards his car and turned to you one more time before he sat down.

In the meantime, you sat down in front of the little screen and send your mum a picture of him and you before you watched the cars getting ready. With big eyes you watched how the lights went out and you instantly held your breath as you saw both Mclarens going wide. The first corner wasn’t bearable for you but once they made it through, you were jumping as you saw that Lando left Hamilton behind. Through the while race, you thought he would still lose his position but when he didn’t, you were jumping even more as he ended up in fourth place again, third for the race on Sunday.

The whole garage was screaming happily and you walked outside with them as the little ceremony started. Since Lando wasn’t official the third of the race, he didn’t get any medal but it also meant he was by your side quicker. You waited for him on the side and wrapped your arms around his neck before he could even take his helmet of. “Oh my god that was so good!” you said loudly and Lando chuckled as he pulled his helmet off. “Wasn’t too bad” he grinned and you quickly pushed his hair back. “Yeah right. Only that” you said and pulled him closer. “Freaking third on the grid. My god. This will be good” you whispered and felt as he wrapped his arm around your hip. “You think I can leave now? Just go with you?” he asked and you chuckled. “No you will do your interviews. Then we can talk about it” you told him and he groaned jokingly before he bumped your hip. “Alright. Five minutes”.

And somehow it didn’t feel a lot longer. He was quick in finishing up and when you said goodbye to everyone, you could finally take your mask off as you went through the exit. Lando was pulling on your hand as he opened his car and you chuckled while sitting down. He traced his finger along your hand as he was driving to the hotel and you watched him from the side, smiling more as you saw the grin on his lips.

Once you arrived, Lando closed the door quickly and took the invite as you opened your arms again for him. “Hmm there is nothing better” he mumbled against your neck and you hummed quietly. “As much as I like the beach I think I am more of a person for this” you said and Lando grinned while leaning his head on top of yours. “I also don’t have to worry now” he whispered and you looked up to him. “Why worrying?” you asked and he shrugged his shoulders. “When you walked home without anybody and I couldn’t be there. Just wasn’t the best feeling” he said quietly while you traced along his neck. “You don’t need to worry” you told him and he shrugged his shoulders. “I still do. Don’t want anything happen to you” he said as he pushed some hair behind your ear. “Well you can keep an eye on me next week then” you told him to lighten the mood and he hummed. “I will” he whispered and you leaned your cheek against his.

“Do you want to take a shower?” you asked after a moment and Lando nodded slightly. “Yes please” he said and you pulled him with you this time and turned the water hot before you stepped inside with him. You felt your shoulders drop a bit as the warm water hit you and you sighed as he leaned his head against yours. “You are tired too, huh?” he asked and you nodded slightly. “Yeah. Was a bit stressful but with a good sleep it will be okay” you told him and traced along his arm. “Yeah I bet. But the tan you got looks so good” he smiled and you chuckled before you slightly pinched his arm and turned to him. “At least not sunburned like someone was before, huh?” you teased and he rolled his eyes before he pressed a kiss to your lips.

With slow movements you worked the shampoo into his hair and heard his happy hum while he leaned his forehead against your neck. You hummed with him and pushed his hair back once you were finished. “You know this pushed back isn’t my thing” you said and watched how he washed the shampoo away. “Oh I know what you like and what you don’t like. I have heard it a few times” he winked and you stuck your tongue out before you wiped the water from his face. “Come on, silly” you said and wrapped the towel around you and wiped the mirror in front of you.

After you managed your hair and pulled one of his shirts over your head, you laid down on his side of the bed and smiled as he laid down next to you, pushing his head onto your stomach. Slowly, you wrapped each curl around your finger and listened to his plans for Sunday. “You think I will do alright?” he asked and you shook your head. “Not just alright. You’ll do amazing. There is a spot on that podium for you” you told him and he smiled at the ceiling. “Go big or go home, huh?” he asked and you nodded. “Exactly. Didn’t fly here for nothing” you joked and felt how his head to you. But instead of saying anything, he was quiet. “Your family must think I want to keep you away from them” he said and you shook your head. “No. It was mums idea. I didn’t say a word. I wanted to but I didn’t. I think they just know how much I wanted to be by your side” you told him and watched how he crawled up more. “And they know I am crazy anyway” you added and saw his smile before he pressed a kiss to your lips. “Hmm I like this side” he mumbled against your lips and you traced along his back. “You know I am crazy about you” he said with a wink and you chuckled before pushing your hand into his hair and pressing another kiss to his lips. “Sounds about right for me, yeah”.

***

When you woke up on Sunday, you were happy to be awake. You opened your eyes slowly and saw Lando laying half over you, completely spread out. You chuckled quietly and slowly traced your fingertips along his back muscles. After a moment, you felt him moving slightly and once he opened his eyes and looked at you, you couldn’t help but smile at the sight of his messy hair and tired smile. “Good morning, love” he hummed and pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “Hey handsome” you grinned and looked up to him as he slowly leaned himself up more. “I hope you slept as good as I did” he said and you nodded before he pressed a kiss to your lips. “Definitely. And what a view to wake up to” you chuckled and traced along his jaw. “Oh you know. Looks good from here too” he winked and slowly took you with him as you got up.

After some extra time while getting ready, you pushed your hair away and placed his cap on top of your head. “All done” you told him and watched how he fixed his bracelets. “Same” he hummed and pushed his fingers through yours before he made his way to the track with you.

Once you arrived, his hand instantly found yours again and you walked towards the garage and driver room with him. “You know it’s always cute when you say hello to everyone here” you told him and watched how he changed into his Mclaren clothes. “I just don’t want them to think they are here for nothing. Wouldn’t be possible without them, huh?” he said and you nodded before you joined his side again when he was all done.

With some lunch and walking around the paddock the time passed quicker than you thought. You sat next to him as Jon did the race prep with him and traced along his hand under the table. “Here take them” he said while taking his bracelets off and you smiled as you reached your hand out for him. “Safest place” he winked and you smiled while tracing along them. “I will keep an eye on them” you told him and watched how Jon finished him up. “A massage before the race. What a life” you joked and sat next to Lando as Jon left.

“You think I can hold that P3 today?” he asked and you nodded instantly. “Definitely. Just a good start like always and you can keep them behind” you said and pushed your hand under his. “Tell that my head” he joked but you knew it was more honest then he wanted. “Your head knows it too. Stop the doubt, okay? I am ready to go out there and get the champagne in my hair for you” you smiled and he quickly pressed a kiss to your lips. “Okay” he whispered and you smiled at him. “So. Ready to go?” you asked and he nodded while jumping of the bench. “Yes I am. Let’s go”.

Once you reached the garage, you pulled Lando to the side one more time, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his lips. “I am so proud of you. You can do it, okay? I will be ready to celebrate” you whispered and he nodded while pressing another kiss to your temple. “Hope I won’t disappoint” he said and you shook your head. “Never, Lando. Don’t worry” you told him and squeezed his hands one more time. He nodded with a small smile and walked towards his car again.

Before he sat down he looked at you again and patted on his heart before he took his seat. You bit down on your lips with a smile and watched the whole procedure before the cars went out and you watched the little screen again.

Right before the start you were more than nervous. Your leg was bouncing up and down when the formation lap ended and when the lights went out, you hid your face behind your hands. You heard the screaming and cheering in the background and when you looked back on the screen, you took a deep breath as you saw him running still in third place. You clapped quietly and mumbled more to yourself than anybody else.

When the chaos started happening, your mind was racing. The swapping of positions made your mind turn around but you only concentrated on Lando running in P2. You knew that Perez and Bottas were coming closer from time to time but in the last two laps, you knew nobody would take it away from him. The whole team ran outside when both Mclaren were passing the line and you ran as fast as you could towards the little fence in front of the podium. You heard cheering all around you and you couldn’t help but feel the tears coming to your eyes.

When he parked his car and walked out, you didn’t take your eyes from you. He pushed the visor up and jumped into his team, taking all the hugs and pats on his helmet in. Once he reached you, he stood almost completely still until you pulled him tightly into your arms. “Fuck I am so proud of you” you told him loudly and pushed his visor up more, seeing the emotions in his eyes, hands why he kept his helmet on. “I love you so much” he said next to your ear and bumped his helmet carefully against your head before he had to leave for the interviews and procedure.

You wiped over your eyes slightly and watched him with a smile. Of course he couldn’t stop smiling all along. He was proud of the double win for his team and you could see it in his eyes and smile.

You took a step higher on the fence as they disappeared for a second but when you saw him up on the podium you were cheering for him as loud as you could. As he had his trophy, he patted on his heart again and looked at you before he lifted his trophy in the air as high as he could.

You felt the champagne on your face again and laughed as you saw the look on his face after the shoey. “Oh god no” you groaned slightly as he looked down to you and you only shrugged his shoulders. “That will taste awful” Jon joked and you nodded as you continued to watch them on the podium.

His smile never seemed to fade and you couldn’t wait to see the photos of him. But more than that, you wanted to see him right in front of you.

When he left to get down, you waited in front of the garage with everyone else. He came running towards everyone with Daniel and enjoyed the mood everyone had. But his eyes were looking for you. As soon as he finally saw you he squeezed past everyone and wrapped his arms tightly around you and lifting you up. When you felt his arms around you, the tears were back and you slowly pushed his mask down a bit. “Look at you” you whispered and he grinned wide. “That’s why I need you by my side” he said and carefully wiped the tears away. “Stop crying or I might join” he whispered and you chuckled before quickly pressing a kiss to his lips. “I am just so proud. I can’t help it” you mumbled and pushed your hands into his wet hair. “Nothing would be possible without you. And I mean it. I don’t care what you say” he said and you chuckled while leaning your head against his neck.

“Lovebirds? Come on” Jon said and you instantly turned around with Lando. “We will do some pictures” he added and Lando nodded before pulling you with him. You smiled as you watched the screens. You stayed a bit hidden in the team and watched Lando’s wide smile the whole time. While he climbed up on the ladder for the next ones, he looked down at you and held his hand out. “Come with me” he said and you shook your head slightly. But he didn’t let you escape. With two steps down he was able to grab your hand and you watched him carefully. “I wanna have you with me” he whispered and you took a deep breath before you nodded slightly and carefully climbed up with him.

After a long night and an even longer day, you were sitting in a bar with your friends again and tried to listen to them as you played with the sticker on your glass. “Hey you” your friend whispered after a while and you hummed quietly at her. “You seem so much more off today” she said and you sighed. “I was stupid last night. I watched his testing days. I know it was my fault” you told her and she sighed as well. “Yeah you shouldn’t have done that. He doesn’t deserve your attention anymore. He was such a big idiot. And he deserves to live with it” she said while you bit along your lip. “But I know that he was stressed. He was so stressed” you whispered but she just shook her head. “No. That doesn’t justify anything. He wanted to concentrate on his perfect racing life. And you don’t need to step back on anything just so he can do what he wants. He doesn’t deserve you being there for him if he doesn’t want it” she rambled while you tried to hold your tears back. “I wanna go home now” you told her and felt her hand on your arm. “Sorry. Okay. I will drive you home. Come on” she said and carefully pulled you along her side until you were in her car and at home again.

***

The next week you were thinking back to everything more and more. You were at your friends house to watch a movie but watching the movie turned into drinking for your friends. Instead of joining them you stayed behind in the couch and played around with your phone while your friends were laughing and drinking. You weren’t thinking too much when you were on Charles contact after a while you clicked on the red X and before you realised, you had unblocked his contact again.

You stared at your phone with big eyes when messages flooded over your phone and you bit harder on your lip when it didn’t stop. “Wow what are you looking at?” your friend giggled but you just shook your head. “Nothing. I. Just. Nothing” you told her and she simply nodded at you with a smile before she turned away again and you could look through the messages. “I know you blocked me. I know I deserve it. I am so sorry, mon amour. So sorry” you read more than once from time to time and you felt how you held your breath. “You would be here right now. I hate it here without you”. “I was angry at myself and let it out on you. I am such an idiot. I treated you so bad. I know it, okay? I know it” he wrote in a monologue and you rubbed your eyes before you laid your phone to the side again. “Guys I am going home” you told your friends and all they did was hug you tightly. They were so in her drinking state that they didn’t saw the look on your face and when you left, you were just rubbing along your temples and repeated the words over and over in your head.

The walk back wasn’t too long and as soon as you had the door closed behind you, you had your phone in your hand again and scrolled down to the very end. The last messages were only two day old and you slowly read along the lines. “I wish I could talk to you again. I wanted you to be in Bahrain with me. I would have written a stupid excuse for your lectures. But I really need you with me. But I don’t deserve it and that’s okay. It’s my fault. It was never you. I want you to know that. I was blind. And Angry” he wrote and you bit along you lip until it almost fell like it fell.

To say that you didn’t sleep was an understatement. You were awake for most of the nights the next days and even when you tried to hide it, your friend noticed it. “Okay. You have to tell me what’s up. Because I can see the look on your face” she said while you closed your eyes shut. “I don’t want to talk about it”. “But I do. I know it’s because of him, okay? You can talk to me” she said while you played with your glass. “I unblocked him. And. Got all of the messages he sent” you whispered and heard her groan. “And what did he say?” she asked before you turned your phone to her. Her eyes widen at the amount of messages and took her a while to look through it before she lifted her eyes back to you. “And what do you think about this?” she asked but all you did was shrug your shoulders. “I have no idea what I should think. I hate what he did. More than anything” you stated but she interrupted you. “But you miss him because you think that this wasn’t him. But what if it happens again?” she asked before you looked at the ceiling. “Then I am stupid” you whispered and felt your friend nudging your side. “I can’t tell you what to do. Do you trust him?” she asked while you rubbed your temples. “I just miss it. I want to know what he has to say” you told her and she hummed. “But he isn’t home, right? He is away” she said and you nodded. “I know. I don’t know. Maybe I should just. Wait” you told her and she nodded as well. “Okay. Yeah. Then you can talk properly” she said and squeezed your hand. “Then I know where you are” she added while you still had your eyes on your phone.

***

And you didn’t had to wait long. Of course he had noticed that you unblocked him at some point. But he couldn’t bring himself to writing something straight away. His mind was racing just like yours was. He wanted nothing more than to call you and say how sorry he was but he didn’t know if it was too much. So he just let you be for some time. Until he couldn’t stand it anymore.

On a late Sunday evening you were laying in bed already when you heard the vibrating from your phone on the nightstand. With a tired head you reached for it and as soon as you saw his name, your tiredness was washed away. You debated with yourself whether you should take the call or not but after a minute of overthinking, you pressed the green button and slowly pressed the phone to your ear. You heard some noises on the other side and waited for him to say something because you couldn’t bring a word out. “I didn’t thought you would answer” was the first thing he said and you rubbed your fingers over your eyes, still not saying something. “Are you home?” he asked and you let out a quiet hum. “Are you okay with talking to me?”. “Otherwise I wouldn’t have answered” you whispered and heard how he let out a shaky breath. “Yeah right. Sorry” he said quietly and pressed his eyes together. “I don’t know where to start. I can never justify what I did and I don’t want to. Because I can’t. I was angry. Angry with myself because I couldn’t work it out but Carlos could. And it’s a stupid car. And you just. Wanted to be there for me. I am so stupid” he rambled and took a deep breath. “I am so sorry. I miss you. I love you. And I miss you. And I just want you to be there again. I get it if you don’t want to be there when I am racing. But just. Here at home. It’s so quiet and just. Feels wrong” he continued while you wiped over your eyes.

“I don’t know what to say. You hurt me. I tried my best to get you out of your head but all you did was blame me and snap at me. I don’t deserve this. I can live with a lot of your racing life. Because you love it. But this isn’t anything I need to accept. Or want. I am not a punching bag for your big ego” you told him and rubbed your temple. “I know how frustrated you are”. “But this doesn’t justify anything” he interrupted you and you could hear how he stood up. “I would do anything just to turn back time, okay? I know that I can’t ask you to just come back after I was such an idiot but please give me a chance to make it up to you. I just want to show you how sorry I am, okay? We don’t need to jump back to anything if you don’t want to. I just. I want to see you and show you how much you mean to me” he said and fell back into talking French with some words due to his nervousness but thankfully you still got it all. “I have some days left before the race. I don’t know about your schedule. But I could just. Fly by. Even if it’s just for a few hours. I don’t mind” he continued before you huffed. “That wouldn’t be worth it” you whispered but he interrupted you. “Everything would be worth it. Everything. Please just give me a chance to make it up. Please” he said quietly before you stayed quiet as well.

You were overwhelmed. But at the same time it was what you wanted to hear. You knew you couldn’t just jump back into it but you knew that you wanted to try it again. Even if it meant that you had to justify it in front of your friends if it got messed up again. “Okay” you breathed out and heard the silence on the other side. “Okay?” he asked back before you hummed. “Yeah. I just. Yeah” you told him and heard how he cleared his throat. “Do you think that I don’t miss you? I just can’t jump from one second to the other” you whispered and he quickly shook his head. “No no. I didn’t meant it like that. Sorry. Sorry” he said and took a deep breath. “When do you have time?” he asked carefully while you played with the side of your cushion. “I just have my studies. I don’t have anything else to do” you told him and he nodded to himself. “Okay. I need to be in Bahrain on Wednesday. But not early. I could fly tomorrow. Or Tuesday morning. Tomorrow is probably too quick, right? Tuesday then?” he rambled before you hummed. “Okay yeah. All good” you told him and heard how he let out a breath that he was holding. “Okay. Okay. Perfect yeah” he mumbled before he was quiet again. “I am really happy. I know this isn’t easy. But I am thankful. And I will use this chance” he said while you laid back on your cushion. “You better” you whispered and heard the small smile in his huff. “I will. This is all I care about” he said and sat back down. “You want to sleep, don’t you?” he asked and you hummed slightly. “I don’t know how successful I will be. But yeah I will try it” you told him and he nodded. “Okay. I will tell you when I will be there, okay? Thank you for taking this call. Good night” he said and you closed your eyes. “Good night” you whispered back and hoped that it all would get back to how it was before once you saw the guy again that you fell madly in love with.

***

And so you found yourself in university on Tuesday, always checking your phones for updates from Charles. You had no idea what he had in his mind but he didn’t want you to get him from the airport. Instead you were in your normal classes and tried to listen as much as possible. You had told your closest friends about it all and even if they weren’t too keen on it, they accepted it and held their thoughts back, hoping for the best of it for you.

After your last class, you were talking with them as you walked outside and felt how your friend nudged your side. “What?” you asked and followed her eyes before you saw Charles leaning against a rental car right outside of the campus. “Oh god” you whispered to yourself and looked to your friend again. “Is it okay? Should I come with you?” she asked but you shook your head lightly. “No. I just. Wasn’t expecting this. I just. Need a minute” you told her and she hummed. “Okay. But call me when you need me. I am not far away” she said and hugged you carefully. “I will. Thank you” you whispered and waved slightly before you slowly made your way over to his car. He had spotted you already and carefully watched you as you held tightly on your bag before you looked up to him again and let your eyes over his face. “Hey” he said quietly and looked back to his car. “It’s not red but I hope you don’t mind it” he added carefully before you shook your head. “You know I don’t mind that” you told him and watched how he opened the door for you. “Do you want to give me the bag?” he asked and you did before you sat inside. “Thank you” you whispered and watched how he joined you on the other side.

He was wiping his hands over his jeans as he turned to you and brought his eyes carefully back to yours. “I uhm. I thought about some things. I don’t know what you want to do. But I thought we could go out and eat something. And then go to the park you like so much” he rambled while you watched his eyes. “This sounds good. Especially the food” you told him before he carefully pushed a strand of your hair back without thinking. “Sorry. I didn’t thought about it” he mumbled but you just shrugged it off. “All good. Don’t worry” you told him and pulled your leg up. “Okay. So I thought maybe. Burger?” he asked and you nodded at him. “Always good” you told him and watched as he dove off.

You could see how nervous he was. His hands were never still and he looked over to you again and again, being scared that you might disappear again. But you knew that you were just as nervous and unsure because you were used to be different with him. Closer.

When he stopped at your favourite burger place, he was quick in remembering your favourite order and placing the bags on your lap. “I think you have to be the table for now” he mumbled and you hummed before you stole some fries already. “It’s nice and warm. I don’t mind it” you told him and saw the smile on his lips for a second before he drove off with you again. The park wasn’t too far away and when he parked there, you grabbed the bags from your lap as you got out and looked around. “There are some tables at the water” you told him and felt his arm brushing against yours. “Okay good. Let me take that one” he said and grabbed one of the bags before he followed you to the place.

Instead of sitting in front of you, he took the spot next to you and unpacked everything before you went straight into it. Charles was watching you as he ate and stole some of your fries which made you turn to him. “Charles” you warned him but he was smiling carefully. “Come on. Let me have some” he said and grabbed another one. “You can have some of mine” he added but all you did was glare at him. “That’s just silly” you countered and hit his hand slightly before you still did it.

And it seemed like a little ice breaker because you found yourself smiling again from time to time and when you ate an ice cream at the end, you stole some of his in return to the fries before and jumped a little when he carefully tickled the spot on your side. “Is that the sign that you want to walk a little?” he asked and you hummed a little. “Yeah” you simply said and threw the garbage away before you walked along the water and Charles followed you.

You were quietly watching the water at some point when you stopped but instead of doing the same, Charles had his eyes on you. “Can you look at me?” he whispered carefully before you slowly turned your head to him. “Please turn around” he whispered again before you hesitantly did. “Thank you” he said quietly while he gulped. “I know I said it before but. I am sorry for everything. You were too good for me and I didn’t appreciate it. But I promise you this will never happen again. Racing isn’t everything. I just need someone to support me. And I know I got that someone in you. I promise you this will never happen again. Never” he whispered while your eyes became glossy again. “I know that you are. But if I say yes to this. I swear to god Charles” you whispered but he instantly shook his head. “No. You don’t need to worry about this ever again. You have all the time in the world. But I just want to have you back again. My girlfriend” he said quietly while you wiped over your eyes. “My head needs a little longer” you admitted and he nodded. “All the time you need” he said and slowly pushed his fingers between yours. “Is this okay?” he asked and you hummed slightly. “Yeah all good” you ensured him and squeezed his hands a little. “I promise you that you won’t regret this”. “Yeah you better keep that promise” you told him and carefully leaned your head against his shoulder. “I will. If it’s one thing. It’s this one, mon amour”.

***

And even when he had barely time between the testing days and the actual first race in Bahrain, he insisted on coming over once more. You knew it was silly to fly away from the place he needed to be anyway but a part of you was happy that he put an extra day in.

After spending the day just walking through your little city, you were back in front of your house and laughed at something that he had misunderstood a while back already. “Yeah make fun of me. Just do it” he said and turned his head to you with a smile. “I said that I am sorry, okay? Sorry” you said again and laid your hand over your mouth. “I forgive you. Because I am nice” he said and leaned his head against the seat again. “I really liked today” he added and you hummed. “So did I” you told him and watched him from the side. “I wish you would come along this weekend” he said and you sighed quietly. “You know that I can’t make it with the Friday” you whispered and he nodded. “I know. All good. Sorry” he said and held his hand out for you that you slowly took. “Can I call you?” he asked and you smiled slightly. “Of course yeah” you told him and watched how he took a deep breath. “Thank you. I just. I have a better feeling with this car but with testing you never know what is real and what isn’t” he rambled while you played with his fingers. “Yeah I know. But a better feeling is good. This is more than you had last season. And it looks better” you told him and he smiled slightly. “Does it?”. “Yeah I like it more. But it will be okay. I will watch it” you said and felt how he squeezed your hand. “Thank you, mon amour” he said quietly and kept his eyes on your hand before you slowly took it away and opened the door slightly. “Tell me when you made it, okay?” you asked and he hummed. “Yeah of course. I will” he said and waved at you with a small smile. You shook your head with the same smile and waved at him as well before you carefully closed the door behind you and watched how he slowly drove off again.

***

And with that you were sitting on your couch on Saturday while your friends were out and watched the first qualification session of the year. You were more nervous than you thought but the good results in all trainings session got your hopes high, properly higher than they should be. But when Charles went through Q1 and Q2 with literal ease, you had your fingers crossed harder than you ever did. The possibility of him getting pole was crazy to you and when he actually did, you were lifting your hands up in the air and wiggled around with a smile on your lips. You were watching his interview with a smile and you couldn’t help but laugh when he tried to sign the tyre.

You met him while you were on holidays with his friends during their summer break and after months of texts, calls and little meet-ups you were joining him at the paddock for the first time on the exact same track. And even back then you knew how much he was struggling with his car but you did everything to be there for him, even if it took you a while to get into his whole racing world. And he was thankful for it. But the longer he was behind the big teams, the harder it got for him to believe the things that you were telling him. But you continued to give your best to be there for him.

Just like always the first thing on his list was a meeting on Friday morning and since it wasn’t open for spectators, you had to say goodbye already. “Be nice” you teased and chuckled when he pulled your mask down and pressed a kiss to your lips. “I am always nice. Come on” he said and slightly pinched your sides before letting you go. “Yeah you are actually” you smiled and fixed the collar of his team shirt. “I will just sit there and wait, alright?” you told him and he nodded while he watched the smile on your lips. “It won’t be too long” he said and squeezed your fingers. “Take your time, mon amour” you said and waved a little before you took a seat at the facility again.

With a coffee in your hand, your eyes wandered over the circuit and you hummed to yourself as you took everything in. Around half an hour later you heard some voices behind you and as soon as you turned around, you saw Charles already standing behind you. “Ha. You didn’t get me” you said and took his hand from your shoulder as he sat down next to you. “I didn’t meant to scare you anyway” he told you and pushed the chair closer to your side. “Hm. I don’t know about that” you teased and watched him. “How was it?” you asked and he hummed. “Alright. It’s not like we are planning anything for this race now. There isn’t really a lot to do at a last race” he said and you hummed. “Yeah that’s true. But then you can relax. And then we have Christmas coming up. And you will have a brand new car. A beautiful brand new car. It will be better” you told him and laid your hand on his neck. “Yeah I am ready for it” he said and leaned against your hand a little before you listened to him and his team.

When the first session was around the corner, Charles placed the big headset over your ears and you smiled at him before you showed him a thumbs up. “Can you hear me?” he asked and you shook your hand from left to right. “Not really” you nearly shouted and he chuckled before he pressed a kiss to your head in a quiet moment. “Good luck” you told him loudly and he tried to wink at you before he pushed the balaclava over his head and turned to his car again.

He was quiet. He always was before sessions nowadays. And you just accepted it. You knew his head was spinning around about his performance but you knew you couldn’t get him out of it properly. So you just let him be and crossed your fingers as hard as you could for the best result possible. And you knew seventh place wasn’t what he wanted but you still welcomed him back with a smile. “The longruns looked good, don’t you think?” you asked and he hummed as he pulled the cover from his head. “But not too good either” he sighed and looked back to his car. “I think it was good. I was the details on the walls. I got some sneaky peaks here and there” you told him and handed him some water which he took with a small smile. “So you found yourself a new job already?” he asked and you hummed. “Yeah. Can you imagine? Me telling you what to do” you said and he snorted. “So just like home” he blurred out and you hit his arm. “Oh stop it” you told him and he laughed. “Sorry but. I had to” he said and pushed a towel over his head. “You are lucky I like you” you warned him and reached for his hand.

“Charles. You need to get your treatment. And then lunch!” his trainer said and Charles mumbled an okay before he turned to you again. “Join me for some food?” he asked and you nodded. “Gladly. But first of all. Get that massage” you told him and parted ways again while you waited in front of the big team building. To some people it probably looked boring but you loved to watch all of the people walking around and how they talked about god and the world. It didn’t take Charles long to join you again and he greeted you with a quick kiss to the cheek and a filled plate. “I hope this is okay. I just took the same things for you and for me” he mumbled and you smiled. “Of course. Looks good” you told him and started to eat while he pushed his leg right up to yours.

The next session ended just like the first and you heard the slight frustration in his voice as he ended up on seventh place again. “I couldn’t even get one fast lap” he said to his team and jumped out before he went to his strategy man and discussed some things in Italian that you didn’t understand. Only after that he was turning back to you and you saw how tense he was. “All good” you ensured him and squeezed his hand a little. “Nothing is good. I shouldn’t be surprised but it was really bad” he said and looked around. “Can we just go? I really don’t want to discuss anything” he added and you sighed a little. “You know you need to do your interviews. You can’t skip. But if you were quick. We can be out of here in an hour” you told him and wiped the towel over his forehead. “Alright yeah” he breathed out and turned around as they called his name. “Can you come with me? Just. Stay close?” he asked and you nodded carefully. “Of course I can” you told him. “Just tell me where to be” you added and felt how he carefully pulled you along.

And so you stood behind of the camera team most of the time and felt his eyes on you from time to time. You couldn’t help but stuck your tongue out at some point and you saw how a little smile made its way onto his lips. He let out a breath when the camera stopped recording and instantly made his way over to you and reached for your hand. “Can we go now?” he asked while you pushed your fingers between his. “If you are done. Yeah” you told him and heard some voices behind him. “Yeah he is” the lady said to which he hummed. “See. All good” he told you and secured the bag on his back. “Come on” he whispered before he carefully pulled you along his side towards the exit and his car.

The car ride was mostly quiet and you concentrated on Charles hand that was rested on your leg. As soon as he parked, you were making your way into the hotel and into the room and while he took a shower, you laid down on the big couch in the corner and leaned against the fluffy cushion as you waited for him. It didn’t take him long until he was done and as soon as he stepped out of the room, he made his way over to you and carefully pushed your arms to the side so he could place himself right on top of you. “Oh hello there” you whispered and played with his hair. “I really don’t want to drive this car anymore” he mumbled and you sighed. “I know. But you are literally done after this weekend. No more thinking about this car” you told him and traced along his brow. “I just have enough. I know we are a joke at the moment but everyone saying it makes it so much worse”. “That’s because they don’t have an idea. They can talk a lot. But it’s important that the people around you support you. Don’t you think?” you asked and he nodded slightly. “I know” he said quietly and lifted his head up to you. “Je t’aime” he mumbled and you smiled before you pressed a kiss to his lips. “I love you too. But we should really move to the bed. Because this is not good for your back” you warned him and traced along his back. “But I like laying here” he countered before you tried to slip out of his grip. “You can do that again in bed again. Come on” you told him and carefully tickled his chin before you made your way to the bed and wrapped your arms around him again.

“See I told you” you mumbled and laid your hand flat on his back. “This is nice” he whispered and traced his hand along your arm. “You should really sleep” you told him and heard his quiet groan. “Not that it would make a difference”. “Yes. A big once. Because you need to focus. And I need you here in one piece” you whispered and he sighed. “I know. Sorry. Sorry” he mumbled and pressed a kiss to your shoulder. “Just don’t stop playing with my hair” he added and you smiled against his temple. “I won’t. Don’t worry” you told him and held your promise until you heard the quiet snoring coming from his lips.

***

On Saturday morning Charles was up way before you and he let you sleep until the very last minute. He knew how much you loved a lay in and even it wasn’t really possible at race weekend, he gave you every opportunity to do so. With a heavy and tired head you found yourself in the bathroom to get ready while Charles was watching you from the doorframe with a small grin. “Stop being so awake” you mumbled and turned to him with a pout. “You just look. Adorable” he said and pulled you to him. “I am not” you told him and pushed your shoulder against his. “Yes definitely. But are you ready now?” he asked and you hummed while you pushed the Ferrari cap over your head. “All done” you told him and linked your arm with his. “Come on. Let’s get you a good position” you added and grabbed your bag before you pulled him out of the hotel and towards his car.

You were humming to the music that came from the radio and let your eyes wander over the landscape while Charles concentrated on driving. When he parked the car, you quickly jumped out of the car and took the hand that he held out for you. You fell into the same routine as the day before and greeted the few people that you knew. On your way to the Ferrari area, some people were stopping Charles and you patiently waited for him as he took photos with them and signed all of the caps and shirts that they held out for him. “Can you take one for us? We are so many” a girl asked you out of the blue and you blinked at her a view times before you realised that she actually meant you. “Yeah of course” you said after a second and took the phone from her and while they all stood around Charles who was smiling at you through the camera. “Thank you so much!” one of the girls called out to you and you smiled at her before giving the phone back to her. “No problem” you told her and felt how Charles moved up next to you again. “Good luck with the qualification today. Your girlfriend being here should be an extra push” another one of the girls said and you felt your cheeks heating up slightly. “That’s what I am counting on. Thank you” Charles said while he pushed his fingers through yours and carefully pulled you along with them. “They were nice” you mumbled and Charles nodded instantly. “Very nice yeah” he said while you entered the building. “And they know that I mean good luck” you grinned and heard his laughter. “Well. If not you. Who else should it be?” he asked and you hummed. “Nobody” you boldly said and couldn’t hide your chuckling as you walked into his drives room.

After the last and final training session, Charles only made it to P10 and you sighed quietly as you waited for him in the back of the garage. “This is a joke” he said to his engineer and looked up to you with an annoyance in his eyes that you haven’t seen before. “Charles. Just this one race. Please don’t be so annoyed” you told him but all he did was huff. “You have no idea how this feels, mon amour. No idea” he said and ripped the balaclava from his head. “I feel so useless. You have no idea” he added and looked around in the garage. “And they aren’t even helping me. Or can help me. I don’t know” he said coldly before pushing a jacket over his body. “But what can I do? Nothing. Exactly” he mumbled to himself and walked out of the garage while you tried to follow him. “Charles. Come on. Stop” you whispered and reached for his hand. “No. I won’t stop saying it. And it’s true, okay? You don’t need to try and make things up. I know how it is” he said pulled his hand back.

He had a lot of moments where he had to fight with his temper and you knew it. You tried your best to not let it get to you too much because he never meant it like he said it. Because his angry moments weren’t how he was. It was only the frustration speaking out of him.

“Charles. Just. Breathe for a minute, okay? Just. One minute” you told him and reached for his hand again. “You will be back sooner thank you think. You can fight again, okay? New cars new chances. Of course I am not a pro at all of this but I just have to trust my feelings. I know this quali session won’t be it anymore. But you need to get through his” you told him and saw how his shoulders fell. “You don’t need to say anything right now but anger won’t make anything better. Just remember that” you added and pushed your shoulder against his. “Come on. Let’s get you some lunch” you told him and slowly pulled him towards the cafeteria.

After eating and some interviews it was time for the quali session already but before he could get in the car, you carefully pulled him to the side one more time. “Just breathe, okay? All will be fine” you said and he nodded slightly, having the helmet already on his head. And as soon as he crossed the line in eighth place, you knew you shouldn’t be disappointed but you knew that he would be. With slow movements he made his way out of the car and instead of complaining, he stayed completely quiet. You watched him carefully and walked over to him to grab the helmet from his head. “Got some interviews?” you asked and he nodded slightly while looking around. “Not a lot hopefully but yeah. I just want to go to bed” he said and you hummed. “We can do that soon” you told him and carefully placed the cap back on his head. “Want me to come with you?” you asked and he nodded while he wiped over his face. “Yes please” he said quietly and walked out of the garage before you followed him and stood behind the camera like you did the day before.

The smile he had on in the interviews wasn’t as real as you wanted it to be and as soon as the interviews were over, he made his way over to you and grabbed the bag from your hands. “Let’s just leave, okay? I am done” he said and you nodded slightly. “Alright, Charles” you told him and nudged his side before you made your way to the exit. Some fans were waiting for Charles but as he passed them, he excused himself from them and threw his stuff in the back of the car before he took his seat. As you sat down next to him, you slowly turned to him and turned his head to you. “Look at me” you said calmly before he slowly did. “I am proud of you no matter what happens, okay?” you told him and he sighed. “You don’t need to say anything. All good” you added and pressed a kiss to his lips which he returned instantly. “I just want to go home”. “I know. Just. One more day” you told him and held onto his hand as he drove off.

And as soon as you were back, Charles went into the bathroom instantly and you got changed before you laid down in bed and listened to the water running. When he turned it off, it took him a while to step out of the room again and instead of laying down on you again, he took the spot next to you and rubbed over his eyes slowly. Instead of talking you just turned to him and pushed your hand under his head. “You want to sleep straight away?” you asked and he nodded. “Yeah I think so” he said and you nodded as well while you played with the end of his hair. “Not interested in coming closer?” you asked and saw the little smile on his face before he slowly moved closer to you. “Knew it” you mumbled and leaned your head against his shoulder. “I just wanted one good race at the end. Just one” he whispered and you sighed silently. “I know. But sometimes it just isn’t in your cards” you told him and pulled the blanket up. “But it should be. To some level” he said and closed his eyes. “You managed this season and you can be happy. It will all be better” you told him but he stayed quiet. “Just sleep, okay? One more time” you added and he nodded slightly. “Yeah okay” he said and leaned his chin on top of your shoulder. “Okay”.

***

But when you thought that it couldn’t get worse for him, the race had a different idea for him. You were watching the race from your spot on and stared at your screen with big eyes. Everything seemed to happen right on top of each other and when the last two laps were on, you were mixed with confusion and frustration. When you saw Carlos finish on P3 and Charles just reaching one point, you swore under your breath. You tried to make out what Charles was saying on the radio but hearing absolutely nothing made it feel even worse.

Instead of making his way out of the car, he sat in it in silence and you bit down on your lip as the rest of the team started to make their way to celebrate the last podium. But of course you didn’t. With slow steps you made your way out of the garage and towards the cars, just to find Charles still sitting in his. “Charles. Come on” you said quietly and watched how he shook his head before he slowly got up. “Charles” you started but he interrupted you. “No. Don’t start” he said and walked past you with quick steps. You tried to follow him as good as you could and you watched how he threw his helmet in the corner before ripping his balaclava from his head. “A podium. And I get P10. Ten! How is this even possible?” he asked loudly while you wrapped your arms around yourself. “He is fighting for a podium and I get one point. He has more points than me. This never happened to me. Never” he said and grabbed his hair in frustration. “Charles. This was bad luck” you told him but he didn’t get it. “Bad luck. Everything is bad luck to you. It seems like it can work out. But maybe I am just too stupid” he said while you tried to lay your hand on his shoulder. “You didn’t make the rules here, okay? Some were more lucky than the others”. “And as always it wasn’t me” he said and looked around. “I just want to go” he added and you sighed. “But you need to do the interviews”. “No. Fuck these interviews” he said and you started at him with big eyes. “Charles. You need to calm down” you told him but he shook his head. “No. I don’t need to calm down. Just leave me alone. Leave me alone” he said and you bit down on your lip as you watched how he left the garage.

You decided to not follow him straight away but when you looked for him after some time, he was doing his interviews. “Yeah it’s good teamwork. We ended up third in the constructors. And Carlos on the podium. I think that was the maximum we can do” he said and nodded with a small smile before the interview ended and he walked over to his team. “No I am leaving. I don’t need to stay for any celebration” he said towards the media lady and when she tried to talk to him more, he cut her off. “I just want to leave. And you can’t really stop me now. I did my interviews. I don’t need to do more” he told her and turned around, just to see you standing on the side. He was quick in grabbing his bag and making his way to you again. “Do you want to stay here? Because I don’t. I will drive back to the hotel” he said and you huffed slightly. “I won’t stay here alone” you told him and bit another comment back. “You can do whatever you want” he said while you followed him towards the exit.

The whole ride back to the hotel was in silence and you bit down on your lip more and more. You knew it was the anger speaking but the more you thought about it, the worse it got. He didn’t even bother to wait for you as he walked into the building before he disappeared in the bathroom again. You laid down on the very corner of the bed and held your arm over your eyes as you tried to calm yourself down. When he walked out of the bathroom, you felt the bed dip next to you but instead of feeling him next to you, there was a big gap between you and him. When you opened your eyes to look at him, he was staring at the ceiling and you shook your head to yourself. “Is this what I deserve?” you asked and watched how he closed his eyes again. “I don’t want to talk about this” he said and you huffed slightly. “But I do. Because this is hurting me. I just want to be here for you” you whispered before he stayed silent again. “You don’t get it right now. I just want to forget it. So stop talking about this” he said and you just did. You didn’t want to push him anymore.

But when the mood didn’t change the next day, you decided to keep staying quiet. During the plane ride you were mostly on your phone and only glared at him from time to time but he never seemed to be looking back at you. When you were back in Monaco you felt completely out of place and you couldn’t stay quiet anymore. “So you keep ignoring me? Like I am not here?” you asked and watched how his shoulders tensioned up again. “I said I don’t want to talk about it anymore”. “I am not talking about racing. I am talking about you ignoring me. When I just want to be there for you” you told him and watched how he gripped the table. “But I don’t need this right now. I am trying to live my dream and it’s all just shit. Words can’t make it better. Don’t you get that?” he asked angrily before you took a step back from him. “But I can’t change it, Charles. I am not responsible for your car. I am just by your side and I don’t care where you finish as long as you are okay” you told him and watched how he shook his head. “But this doesn’t get me anything. I want to win races. I need to concentrate on that. Because this is what I want” he blurred out before you stared at him, not being able to say something.

Thankfully, the hour and a bit passed by quick and you were leaving the train as the first person, looking around to see if you could find Lando between all of the people waiting there. You were mumbling some quiet “Sorrys” here and there as you made your way through them and stood on the little platform to get a better view. “Who are you looking for, huh?” you heard behind you and quickly turned around to see Lando grinning at you. “I don’t know” you joked back and giggled when he wrapped his arm around your back and pressed his face into your neck. “You just have to live with me now. Sorry” he mumbled while you wrapped your arm around his neck. “Could be worse” you whispered and felt how he slowly pulled you from the little platform. “You may follow me then” he said and reached for your hand and suitcase. “Gladly” you smiled and made your way to his car.

As you were sitting down again, you quickly turned your head to Lando again and felt how your heartbeat was quickening when you saw his shiny eyes again. “I missed you” you admitted quickly and watched how his lips twitched up even more. “I missed you too, darling. A lot” he countered and pressed a kiss to your lips. “Got any plans?” you asked him and watched how he shifted in his seat while driving. “Not too much. I just want to watch some movies with you and eat a lot today because I feel like I missed your whole week and you need to tell me everything” he started and tapped on your finger. “And then tomorrow there could be a barbeque. If the guys actually manage to come here” he said and you chuckled while he rolled his eyes. “We will see about that, huh? I think we should start doing something when they are actually in the car then” you cold him and played with the hair on his neck. “You need to keep me updated as well, you know. This was a quiet week” you added and he hummed while leaning against your hand. “Yeah I will. I will talk about all the data until you will fall asleep” he smiled and you snorted. “I am sorry but it would happen” you told him and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of his smiling lips. “I can’t even be mad at you and you know it”.

As you reached his house, you were jumping out before him and grabbed your suitcase. “You don’t even let me be a gentleman” Lando called from inside the car and you chuckled while you made your way to the entrance. “You are enough of one, okay? I just really want to shower” you told him and watched how he unlocked the door. “Was this a subtle way of asking me to join you?” he asked and you laid your head to the side as you stepped inside. “Not really no” you said and heard his groaning. “Come on” he said and wrapped his arm around you from behind. “Lando” you laughed and turned around in his arms. “Of course you can join. As if I would say no you muppet” you told him and laid your hand on his cheeks. “Yeah I know” he grinned and pushed his hands under the back of your shirt. “You are so silly”.

After your shower you were making your way to the couch with him and chuckled when he squeezed himself between you and the couch to press his nose against yours. “What do you want to order? Pizza? Pasta?” he asked and you hummed. “Pizza would be nice yeah” you told him and watched how he tapped on his phone quickly. “Okay got it” he mumbled and wrapped his arm around you again. “Now tell me how you week was” he said and drew little circled on your back. “Quite boring I have to say” you started and talked him through the project that you had been working on all week. He was watching you the whole time and smiled as you talked about finishing it on that Friday. “So you were too quick for everyone, huh? I think you deserve the Tuesday off as well” he said and you chuckled. “I wish it would work like that” you told him and watched how he jumped up when the doorbell rang.

“That was a good timing” he said and sat down next to you. “But I am very proud of you, you know. You are doing amazing” he told you and you felt how your cheeks heated up. “Thank you” you whispered and nudged his side carefully. “I mean it, darling” he said and pressed a kiss to your head.

As you were eating with him, you were watching a random movie on TV and laughed every time he tried to steal some food from you. “Lando. You have your own one. This happens every time” you laughed and wiped over the corner of his mouth. “I just like to hear you laugh. And I get extra pizza” he said and pressed a quick kiss to your lips. “I missed your laugh” he added while your heart was beating faster again. “Stop being so cute” you whispered and leaned your head against his shoulder. “I am not doing anything” he chuckled and wrapped his arm around you. “Yes you are” you told him and looked up to him. “I am just happy that you are here” he said and pushed his hand into your hair. “I am happy as well. Very” you whispered and decided to lay your head in his lap. “But now you need to tell me about your week” you told him and felt how he chuckled. “So you can fall asleep, huh?” he asked and you hummed with a smile. “Maybe. But I promise to do all I can” you told him and traced along his back. “Alright” he said and started to talk about his days in the factory.

But of course he knew you better. After half of his week he could feel that your hands were getting slower and when he looked down to you, your eyes were closed already. “See. I knew it” he whispered and pressed a kiss to your head before he looked around. “Then I will carry you again” he added and watched you with a smile until you were fully asleep.

***

Right as you woke up on Saturday morning, you were groaning quietly as you felt how much Lando was moving right next to you. “Lando” you warned him and he froze instantly while slowly turning his head to you. “Sorry. But the boys said they are coming” he said while you pushed your head under the cushion. “So we have to go shopping and get everything ready” you mumbled into the fabric and felt his hand on your back. “I can go if you tell me what we need” he said and watched how you turned on your back. “No I will come with you. I don’t even know what to get” you told him and rolled over so you were almost completely on top of him. “Just some more minutes” you whispered and felt his smile on your hair. “If we really need to” he joked and traced his thumb in circles over your cheek as you listened to his quiet hum.

Once you managed to drag yourself out of bed, you were getting ready rather quickly and watched how Lando was looking for shopping bags. “Lando. We are not doing barbeque for a football team. Three are enough” you laughed and grabbed them from his hands. “I just literally never did one. I don’t know why I said we could do it here” he admitted while you laid your hand on his jaw. “Good thing you have me here” you winked and pushed your fingers between his. “Are you ready to go?” you asked and he hummed. “Yeah. Just lead me through it” he said and pulled you out to his car.

Once you were back from your hour-long shopping trip, you watched how Lando was running into the house with all of the bags and you chuckled quietly as you followed him. “Okay that should definitely be enough” you told him and unpacked it all. “Yeah I think so too. Should I get the grill out? Or should we start together?” he asked and you hummed. “Yeah you go. I’ll just start cutting everything and then we will see who is quicker, okay?” you asked back and felt his lips on your cheek from behind you. “Okay. But please be careful. No cuts” he said and squeezed your fingers before he walked to the shed in the back of the garden.

You watched him with a smile for a while before you began to make some salads and everything else while Lando finished putting up the grill. He joined you once you were done and sighed as he put the last bowl in the fridge. “My god that’s a lot of food” he mumbled and turned to you. “Well. I think your friends will finish it” you told him and took his hands that he was holding out for you. “Our friends” he corrected you and leaned his head on top of yours. “Thank you for helping me” he mumbled while you leaned your head against his shoulder. “It’s all good” you chuckled and looked up to him. “I just bet you thought about calmer things to do on your weekend” he said while you just slightly rolled your eyes. “I am spending my time with you. That’s all I want” you told him and pressed a kiss to his lips. “How did I get so lucky” he mumbled and you quickly covered your blushing with some giggling. “Shh” you whispered back and saw the grin on his face. “Yeah alright” he hummed and pushed his nose against yours. “What do you want to do until then? Cold down a bit, then shower and get ready?” he asked while you laid your head to the side. “I am scared about the cool down bit” you admitted and heard his high pitched laugh. “I can show you” he said and slowly pushed you to the door. “I don’t know, Lando” you countered but before you could say anything, he had his arm secured around your hip while he moved to the garden hose. “Lando Norris. I swear to god” you warned him but all he did was laugh. “But it’s hot. I think you can use it. We both could” he said and sprayed some water on you.

Instantly you were letting out a scream as soon as the water hit you and you tried to run away from him but he was always behind you. “I can’t even go inside” you screamed and tried to grab the hose from his hands. “No you can’t” he laughed and pulled you back to him while the water was still running above you. “You know this is like High School Musical when they are on the roof” he said and you looked at him with big eyes. “No you didn’t just say that” you countered and he chuckled. “The amount of times you let me watch it. How could I not. We can try to dance as well but I can’t promise you to not step on your feet” he said and pushed some hair from your face. “If you sing with me, okay” you told him and he groaned. “Well. That could turn out bad” he said and cleared his throat. “I kind of want to know it now. But okay. This time only dancing” you told him and reached for his hands. “Don’t expect me to do a full-on Troy okay?” he said and you chuckled while taking the first steps with him. “I am not” you smiled and laughed with him when he pulled you closer. “And now we turn” he hummed and slowly danced with you.

“And you told me that you can’t do it” you told him as he turned the water off and watched how he pushed his hair around. “I just copied your dancing through the house” he said and carefully squeezed some water out of your hair. “Clever” you chuckled and watched his face with a smile. “Are you getting cold?” he asked while he slowly rubbed along your arms. “A little” you told him and watched how he pointed to the house. “Then we should start with the second option. The shower” he said while you looked down. “We will get the whole floor wet. You know that right?” you asked and he hummed. “I know. But I will dry it all. All good” he said and opened the door for you. “Just don’t slip” he added and you rolled your eyes with a laugh before you quickly made your way into the bathroom.

Once you were done, you decided to put a different dress on and applied little make-up on your face while Lando was drying the whole. You watched him as you were done and heard his quiet groaning. “Don’t laugh. I just didn’t thought it would be so much water” he said and threw the towel down the stairs towards the basket. “It was your idea” you reminded him but instead of countering, he was looking at you with a smile. “You look beautiful you know” he said and carefully flicked a lash from your cheek. “Stop making me blush” you told him while he pressed a kiss to your head. “I don’t know about that” he said and placed his hand on your back. “Should we just sit outside for a bit?” he asked and you laid your head to the side. “Without water?” you asked and he did the same. “Yeah just this time though”.

After a while of laying on the sunbed in the corner of the garden, you heard the doorbell ringing from the front and how Lando was groaning slightly. “Just got comfortable” he mumbled and pressed a kiss to your head. “I’ll get them” he added and jumped up while you got up and towards the door as well.You listened to their laughter as they said their hellos and smiled once they entered the room. “Who do we have here” Max said and you chuckled. “Surprise huh” you countered and hugged him back. “Just surprised that he lets us see you this time” he added before Lando groaned. “Oh shut up” he said before you hugged Tom and the other ones. “I am not doing anything” Lando said and laid his hand on your back. “Yeah he isn’t” you quickly said and chuckled with everyone before you made your way outside.

“Did Lando actually put the grill up?” Tom asked and you snorted slightly when Lando glared at him. “Did you just come here to put jokes on me or what is this?” he asked back while you traced along his back. “You know them” you chuckled and pointed to the kitchen. “Make yourself useful” you told them quickly and felt how Lando pulled you back to him. “I love you” he said quietly which made you blush again. “I love you too” you told him and squeezed his cheek slightly before you made your way inside as well to grab the bowls.

You sat down on the side of the garden table and watched how Lando and the boys started the grill. You were reminded about how your dad always did it with your brother and it brought a smile to your face. They were mumbling all together while making it work and you watched how Lando was walking over to you with a big grin on his work. “Like a pro” he said and placed his hands on your shoulders. “Yeah you did good. Didn’t thought you all would be that fast” you told him and chuckled when he tickled your jaw. “The faith. Thank you” he said and pressed a kiss to your cheek before he sat down next to you. “We’ll just let them do it” he told you and you hummed with a smile while laying your hand on his leg. “Yeah sounds good” you countered and snacked on some bread with him. “I don’t want to interrupt you love birds but I think we got something ready” Tom said and placed it right in front of you. “Thank you very much” you told him and started to eat with everyone.

As you were chatting with everyone about the last weeks and plans for the next ones, you felt Landos hand tracing along the back of your arm and you shivered from time to time. “Stop it” you whispered but all Lando did was grin. “I don’t think so” he said and placed his arm flat on your shoulder while he continued to eat. “Are we really all third wheeling here?” Max asked Lando but all he did was roll his eyes. “I can hug you as well if you’d like to. Want me to tickle you, you muppet?” he asked back while Max leaned back again. “Okay I think I don’t want to switch positions” he said while Lando wrapped his arm more around your shoulder.When it came to dessert, you were leaning against Lando more and more since the sun was down already. You were talking quietly with him and were brought out of it when you saw yours and Landos phone lighting up at the same time. You saw the Instagram notification and watched how Lando clicked on it. He was opening Max story and you snorted when you saw a video of Lando whispering in your ear while you were nodding at the same time. “It’s always the same” he had put under it.

“I think he’s just jealous” Tom countered and you chuckled quietly. “I think so too. Maybe we can find you someone, Max. Don’t worry” you told him and felt Landos chest vibrating with his chuckler. “I think I need help yeah” he said before Lando patted his shoulder with a proper laugh.Once you were done, the boys started to mess around with a football and you decided to clean up most of the table. You were watching them from over your shoulder from time to time and chuckled when you heard their loud laughter. “Love? Come on join us” Lando called out and you walked up to him again while he passed the ball to you. “I am wearing a dress. This is impossible” you told him and tried to pass it back but instead you hit the fence right behind him. “Yeah see” you laughed and sat down on the little bench while they continued to pass the ball around.

You were laughing with them until your stomach hurt and uploaded a video of them to your story as well. When the sun was completely gone, you grabbed a hoodie from inside but once you were back outside, you saw how the boys were packing their stuff again. “We are going to drive back now. We aren’t one to dance through the night anymore” Tom said and you chuckled while Lando wrapped his arm back around you again. “Yeah. You need to be awake for that long drive” you told him and hugged them all quickly.“Thanks for preparing all of this. It was lovely” Max said and you quickly shrugged it off. “All good. Don’t worry” you told him and pushed his shoulder. “And you know I am always just messing with you two, right? It’s just always nice to see him this happy” he said and you chuckled. “That’s cute” you told him and heard Lando clearing his throat behind you. “What are you whispering?” he asked and Max shook his head. “None of your business” he said and waved at you again before they disappeared.

You scrolled through your photos as you heard the door opening and looked up when he stepped through the garden door. “It is so warm” he breathed out and placed the bags right in front of you. “And you are barely even wearing anything” you joked with a chuckled and peaked into the bags. “Don’t act like you mind it” he countered and sat down next to you before he opened the bags full of croissants and other pastries.

You took your sweat time eating everything you wanted before you felt how Pierre was slightly kicking your leg over and over again. “What is it, Pierre?” you asked and watched how his grin slowly grew. “We should use these surfboards today” he said and all you could do was groan. “You know that it will end bad for me. I am not a poser like you are. I can’t keep my balance” you told him and leaned your head against his arm. “Yeah you can. I will hold your hand. Just some paddling” he said and kissed your head. “You just need some minutes. Trust me” he said while you turned to him completely. “Okay. But don’t laugh too much. Please” you laughed yourself and watched how Pierre got up. “I won’t. A little maybe. But not too much” he promised and held his hands out for you. “Got a bikini under it?” he asked and you hummed as you got up. “I do. I don’t trust you since you threw me in last night” you said and glared at him. “I just had to” he chuckled and turned you to the sea. “Come on, mon amour” he whispered and grabbed the boards before you followed him.

Once you reached the water, it didn’t take Pierre more than some seconds before he grabbed the board and made his way into the shallow water. “Come here, love” he said and held the other board close to him. As you reached him, you placed your hands on the board before you looked up to Pierre again. “Should I just get on it?” you asked and he hummed. “Yeah exactly. You kneel on it. I will hold onto you. You won’t fall. I promise, mon amour” he said and laid his hand on your back as you tried it for the first time.

And from then on, you felt more than wobbly. It took you many tries to even kneel on it alone but Pierre always held you close to him. “You are doing good” he always ensured you but you couldn’t help but laugh every time you kissed the water again. “I don’t think so” you giggled and laid your hand on his shoulders. “Yes you are” he grinned and laid his hands on your hips. “The next step would be standing up” he added and you groaned slightly before you shook your head. “I will try. Somehow” you mumbled and held onto him the while time.

After another half an hour, you were standing alone for the first time and took the paddle from Pierre to move around a bit. “See. I told you” he grinned proudly and you chuckled slightly before Pierre went onto the board for the first time. “Now we can do some proper rounds” he said and moved around you. “Just give me an hour longer, okay?” you chuckled and paddled around more and more.

Even when he stopped for a while, you felt like you would never get on it again if you’d stopped and so you continued while he decided to lay in the sun for a bit. Only when your arms felt heavy you made your way out of the water and sat down right next to him. “Are you enjoying it?” he asked and you hummed. “Yeah. I am so happy I managed to stay on it” you smiled and wiped your hands of before you reached for your phone to take a photo of the beach.

But while you did it, you saw an Instagram notification from Pierre and slowly clicked on it. When you saw a story of yourself on the board, you snorted slightly and turned your head to him. “I look so clumsy” you told him before you laid your head down on the towel. “No you don’t. I just loved the concentration on your face too much” he said and pushed the waterdrops from your nose. “You’re cute” you mumbled and pressed a kiss to his cheek before you enjoyed the warm sun on your skin.

In the early evening hours when the sun was slowly setting, you were making your way back to the house again and quickly showered before you stood in front of your wardrobe. “I think you should take the shorter blue one for dinner” you heard from behind you and smiled to yourself before you reached for it. “And why’s that?” you asked before turning around. “Because blue always looks best on you” he said and buttoned his shirt up while you felt a blush creeping up on your cheeks.

Once you were done, you were quickly grabbing your bag and his hand before you made your way outside and walked along the small sidewalk that led into the city. You were quietly humming to yourself as you walked into the restaurant and took a seat in a quiet corner. You listened to Pierres French the whole time and laid your head to the side when he looked at you again. “Just if we want the menu card or the normal menu. I think we should trust the menu card more. So we can decide” he said while you smiled. “Yeah. I think you’re right” you told him and played with the rings on his fingers.

As you waited on the food, you looking through some more photos with Pierre and couldn’t hide your chuckle at most of them. When you reached the end of you gallery, you chose a photo of Pierre holding onto your hand on your way to the restaurant and uploaded it to your story quickly. While you were doing it, Pierre was watching you with a grin and slowly pushed his fingers underneath yours.

You only left the restaurant after closing time when your bottle of wine was empty and with the alcohol in your veins, you couldn’t help but giggle at almost everything on your way back to the house. And thankfully Pierre did the same.

You couldn’t wait to get back into your sleeping shirt when you reached the bedroom and laughed at Pierre who seemed to be struggling with his buttons. “This was some good wine” he groaned and watched you as you helped him. “Yeah it was” you giggled and pushed his hair back slowly. “Thank you, mon amour” he mumbled and pressed a kiss to your lips. “No problem” you smiled against his lips and opened the windows before you laid down in the middle of the bed with Pierre.

He was watching you as you played with his bracelets like you did almost every night and slowly pulled the sheets right over you. “How about we go somewhere else soon? Maybe not tomorrow but the day after?” he asked before you looked up to him. “I wouldn’t mind staying here. We don’t need to go everywhere you know” you told him but he shook his head slowly. “I told you that I have in mind. I want to go everywhere. And before you say anything else. This is my way of telling you how sorry I am for not being there as much as I want to be with you during the weeks. The calendar is so tightly packed. I don’t have the time that you deserve. And I want to do this. I want to see you this happy for all of these weeks. The way your eyes are shining when you see a new place. That’s what I want to see” he rambled while you watched him. “I know what I signed up for. And I am okay with it. All of this is crazy. But thank you. I know you won’t let me say anything else” you whispered and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Exactly, mon amour. Not a chance” he grinned and pressed his lips onto yours again and again.

***

Instead of making two more days, you stayed three more to explore the area around more and more. When you were back at the airport, you pouted when you got out the car for the last time. “Will you miss the car more than this place?” Pierre asked and you sighed. “I think both equally as much” you told him and linked your arm through his. “Maybe I can distract you with the next destination so you won’t miss it as much” he said and squeezed your fingers. “Yeah maybe, you crazy one” you told him and followed him into the building.

“Do you want to know where we are going this time as well?” he asked and you hummed. “Maybe just the country” you told him and he hummed. “Okay. It’s Spain. And you haven’t been there” he said while you bought some breakfast. “Okay. There are too many possibilities” you told him and walked through the duty free stores while you are. “Yeah some pretty places” he sang while you chuckled. “You have to close your eyes though. Because it will be on the board” he added which made you sigh. “Okay. This will be funny” you told him and closed your eyes as soon as he told you.

Even on your way into the plane you had your eyes closed and heard some people were chuckling at you. “This is so weird, Pierre. So weird” you chuckled and excused yourself every time you bumped into someone. “No this is funny” Pierre laughed before he told you to open your eyes again when you reached your seat.

To distract you from the announcements, you were listening to some music with him until you felt the plane landing again. You even forgot to check out to the view to get a hint where you were. Only when you left the airport, you felt how Pierre was holding you back and pulled you back to him. “Ibiza, mon amour” he said and you looked at him with big eyes. “Oh I didn’t even think about that. Oh my god” you whispered and looked around again. “It was funny how you had no idea” he grinned before you pushed his arm slightly. “I am not as worldly as you are, sorry Gasly” you said and felt how he was pulling you into a different direction.

Once you were sitting in a rental car, you couldn’t keep your eyes from the view around you. It somehow felt completely different to France but you weren’t minding it at all. You had no idea where Pierre was driving to just like the last time but the further he drove, the more your mind was wandering around.

One final turn to the left brought your head out of your thoughts and you curiously let your eyes wander around the small house on your left. “Where do you find these pretty houses oh my god” you whispered and jumped out of the car before you walked to the entrance and looked over the sea view. “Just some good connections” he grinned and handed you the keys. “Look around, mon amour” he said quietly and watched you as you basically ran inside.

The little house made you speechless and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself as you stood on the little terrace again. “What so you think?” Pierre asked as he stood behind you and all you could do was shake your head. “Unbelievable. I can’t believe all of this. It’s crazy. Thank you” you whispered and leaned your head against his shoulder. “This is the least I can do” he whispered back and pressed his nose against your temple. “Should we just unpack a little? And then just see what we will do?” he asked and you hummed while laying your phone to the side.

“I can’t promise anything” you told him and watched as he licked his lips. “But you could try?” he questioned and you hummed slightly. “Might be the wine but I don’t think that it’s too bad of an idea” you told him and laughed when he pressed a kiss to your jaw. “Hm. Thank you” he whispered and pulled you closer to him. “Got some ideas already?” you asked him but only felt how he shrugged his shoulders. “Some yeah” was all he said which made you roll your eyes with a smile. “Okay mister mysterious” you mumbled and wrapped your arm around his neck. “I will ask my boss when I am in the office on Monday” you promised him while he pressed his lips to your neck. “Perfect, ma cherié”.

And it was rather easy to get another week off to make it three whole weeks. You had to trick around a bit with the other week but in the end you managed to get some home office days and it was all you needed.

When Pierre came back from his training sessions, you were trying to avoid his sweaty hugs with a laugh but when he finally got you, he didn’t let you go. “Tell me how your work went” was the first thing he said and you chuckled slightly while playing with his hair. “Work was really good. I got a new project. It’s not a big one but hey” you started and he groaned. “Mon amour. Come on” he whispered while you chuckled. “Yeah I know it’s a shame that it’s not a big one. But also nice. Not the same pressure” you continued before he carefully grabbed your chin. “Stop messing with me” he whispered while you tickled his side. “Do you really think I would be teasing you this much if it wouldn’t work out?” you asked him and felt how he let out a breath that he was holding. “My god” he breathed out and pressed a long kiss to your lips. “Don’t do that again” he said but all you did was chuckle. “Maybe you can let me in on your plans now. Well after your shower. You are really sweaty” you told him and patted on his chest. “I don’t think I really want to tell you about my ideas yet. But you can try to get some things from me once I am back yeah” he winked and pressed a kiss to your forehead.

***

Right after the Hungarian race, Pierre couldn’t wait to get back to Italy. You shared the plane with some of his team members before you drove back to Milan with him. Most of your bags were packed already and you watched how Pierre placed his backpack right next to it. “I think I am ready” he said while you wrapped your arm around his shoulder. “Really? Didn’t look like it” you joked and leaned your chin against his shoulder. “I am excited, okay? I am ready to think about other things than racing for some weeks” he admitted and pulled you in front of him. “Yeah I know. And you deserve it” you told him and played with his hair. “I just can’t really wrap my head around the fact that we are gone so long. I have never been away for so long” you told him and squeezed his arms. “And I promise you that I don’t have anything wild planned. Just some cool places. You will like them” he said and slowly pushed you backwards. “Yeah I know. You don’t seem like the type who would kidnap me” you told him and chuckled with him. “I promise I won’t” he ensured you and carefully pulled the small clips from your head that held your hair up.

“Do you need to do some more packing?” Pierre asked and you hummed as you sat down on the couch next to him. “No not really. I got everything I need. I have enough clothes thankfully” you giggled while Pierre watched you with a smile. “Then we can just relax until tomorrow. Sadly we need to order some food. The fridge is empty” he said and you hummed. “Oh no” you breathed out and slowly laid down with your head on his thigh. “Just chose something” you told him and closed your eyes when he traced along your head. “Indian?” he asked and you nodded. “Yeah that’s good” you hummed and watched him as he ordered from his phone.

After dinner you called it quite an early night since you wanted to be ready for the next day. While you were waiting for Pierre to come back from the bathroom, you were pushing the cushion around and chuckled when you felt how Pierre slowly laid himself on top of you with his head on your chest. “I made the cushions so fluffy” you told him but all he did was grin. “Well. I like this more” he said and laid his head on top of your heart.

When he looked up to you, you knew that it was because it was beating faster than normal. “Are you okay?” he asked while you quickly nodded your head. “Yeah. Just nervous. I don’t know” you chuckled and pushed your hand into his hair. “I hope it’s a good nervous feeling. But we can also change something if you aren’t sure” Pierre said but you quickly stopped him. “Yes good nervous. Don’t worry. I am just not a good pillow tonight” you told him while you traced along his lashes. “You can’t get rid of me” he simply said and pushed his hands around your body. “I would have been surprised if I did” you countered and laid your hand on his shoulder blade. “I am excited for these weeks” he said quietly while you closed your eyes with a smile. “Yeah so am I. Just don’t get sick of me” you joked and felt how he slightly pinched your side. “Not in a million years”.

***

When you were at the airport the next day, you were holding onto Pierres hand the whole time and watched him as his head turned around from time to time. “Do you know where we need to go?” you teased and laughed when he pulled you into a different direction. “I do, mon amour. Thank you for trusting me” he said and wrapped his arm around your shoulder before he pointed to the gates. “Do you want to know where we are going?” he asked and you hummed. “I kind of do” you countered and watched how he looked for the boarding tickets. “Nice?” you almost asked and he hummed. “Yeah. But we will go on from there. We are not staying right there” he said and you hummed. “Sounds perfect already” you whispered more to yourself than to him and looked up when he pressed a kiss to your temple. “Should we get a coffee and then get going?” he asked and you hummed. “I like that”.

The plane ride didn’t take long at all. When you walked out of the big doors, you were smiling at the warm feeling and turned around when you felt Pierres hand on your back. “I got us a car. Well. I borrowed it. I just need to find it” he said and you snorted while you watched the searching look on his face. “But you got the key?” you asked and he nodded. “Yeah I do, love” he said and you smiled at the unusual English nickname.

“Got it” he said after a moment and quickly walked towards a light blue convertible car. “Oh my god this is such a pretty car” you whispered and he grinned happily. “I thought we need the whole French holiday atmosphere for it” he said and placed the bags in the small trunk and on the backseat. “You are crazy. But in a good way” you told him and carefully sat down on the passenger seat while Pierre did the same on the other side. “You deserve some special weeks, mon amour” he said and you felt your cheeks heating up. “You are too good to be true sometimes” you told him and watched him with a smile as he drove off.

You took some photos from here and there on your way as Pierre was singing along to the French songs on the radio. You were enjoying the warm sun on your skin and almost waited for the moment where he would stop the car.

When he turned into some small streets after some time, you were rather surprised that it was the end of the drive already. You had promised him to keep your eyes closed from then on and turned to him when the car fully stopped. “I will help you out of the car” Pierre said and so you slowly opened the door yourself. You felt his hands on your back the whole time and chuckled when he turned you around a bit more. “You can open your eyes now” he said and pressed a kiss to your cheek before you did.

What you saw took your breath away instantly. You saw a small house in front of you that was almost directly connected to the big sea right in front of it. “We are at Cap Ferrat” he said and carefully pushed some of your hair from your eyes. “This will be our place for as long as we want. We have a lot of restaurants here. And it’s just our area. We can get a boat. We can drive around. Whatever we want” he said while you slowly wrapped your arms around his neck. “We could stay here for all weeks. I don’t mind” you whispered and he shook his head with a smile. “No not all four weeks. I want to show you more” he said and pressed a kiss to your lips. “Here are the keys. Have a look and I will get the luggage” he added and you nodded carefully before you made your way in the beautiful small house.

As you looked at the view from the bedroom, Pierre joined you with your suitcases and leaned his head right on top of yours. “Did I ever tell you how good you are looking when you are in France?” he asked and you chuckled slightly. “Just in France?”. “No. Not just here. But I like it when you are here” he said and tickled your sides before he let you go.

You decided to change into a soft pink dress while Pierre changed into a light white shirt. You were whistling as you turned to him and laughed when he posed for you. “Yeah? Is it approved?” he asked and you hummed. “Summer Pierre is always approved” you told him and looked around again.

“What should we do for the first day?” Pierre asked as you pushed your hair up. “I want to see this place. The city” you told him and reached for your sunglasses. “I heard I am a good guide” he said and held his hand out for you. “Oh yeah? Mind giving me a tour then?” you asked while you took his hand. “Gladly, mon amour”.

With tightly holding on your hand, Pierre was walking with you through the whole side of the city where your house was and you felt like you had to stop every few seconds to take some photos, either of him or the sea view. You stopped for some street snacks from time to time and only stopped walking when you reached a small bank that was placed in the shallow water.

Daniel was wiping his hands along his jeans as he watched everyone and you could tell that he wasn’t too sure about the situation even if he tried to hide it. When he had the little microphone on his shirt, he was chuckling slightly and kept his eyes on the cameraman. He gave the gesture that the camera was rolling not too much later and you watched how Daniel kept his eyes on him. “We just have a little question for you right now. What would you tell younger Daniel? Younger Daniel that is making his way into Formula 1” the lady said and you could tell how much it caught him off guard. “What I would tell my younger self? I never thought about it” he laughed before his eyes fell back to your face. But all you could to was smile at him as he propped his hands up on his thighs. “Tough question” he mumbled and leaned back again.

“What would I tell younger Daniel.. I think. Uhm” he started and smiled at his hands before he slowly lifted his head back up. “Enjoy the butterflies. Enjoy being naive. Enjoy the nerves. The pressure. People not knowing your name. All that stuff. Because that’s part of it. I think if you want to stand on the top from day one there is nothing to look forward to” he started and fumbled around with his fingers.

You knew what he meant. Being by his side for years meant so many memories locked in your head and you felt how your mind wandered back to Monaco 2018.

You remember how his nerves were at rock bottom that weekend. So many things went wrong before that race and you knew he wanted nothing more than to bring it home. Friday seemed to be on his side completely and it wasn’t a big surprise to you but you knew how much it meant to him already. On Saturday morning you were sitting on the large bed in the middle of the room and watched how Daniel was pushing his curls under his cap. “Don’t hide them that much” you pouted and heard his quiet laughing. “Well. I don’t want it to look like a clown hairstyle. Do you know what I mean?” he asked and you snorted at the image in your head. “I actually do. Oh my god” you groaned and felt his chuckling against your skin when he pressed a kiss to your temple. “Don’t get the circus music stuck in your head now” he said and reached for your hands to pull you up on your feet. “I am trying” you chuckled and pulled the little backpack over your shoulders. “Are you ready to get this pole today?” you asked and watched how he nodded but with a bit of hesitance. “Yeah. I am going to give it everything” he said while you squeezed his fingers. “I know you will”.

Even with all of his joking before and after FP3 you knew that he was nervous. He was hard on himself for a while now but you did your best to get his mind away from it. You told him “sometimes it takes time to get where you want to be” and as much as he wanted to roll his eyes. He knew that you were right. But a part of him was always impatient.

When qualification was around the corner, Daniel was sitting on the ground in his drivers room and had his eyes closed. You knew that you shouldn’t distract him but to your surprise, he held his hand out for you after only a minute of sitting. “Come here” he said quietly and slowly pulled you down next to him. “All good?” you asked and he hummed. “Yeah. I am just. Trying to get into a new routine maybe. Maybe it helps” he said and slowly pushed his fingers between yours.

He always liked to be alone during his preparations so it warmed your heart and broke it a little at the same time. “I am ready to try everything” you smiled and leaned your head against his shoulder as you listened to the music through his headphones.

As he took his seat in the car, you were pushing the big RedBull headphones over your ears and smiled to yourself as you watched him making his way out of the garage. Getting into Q3 wasn’t a surprise to you but when it came to the last quick lap, your heart was beating faster and faster. You had your fingers crossed as you watched the screen and when you saw everyone not being able to reach Daniels time, you were jumping of you seat and clapped with everyone while a shaky breath was leaving your lips. Daniel was celebrating his pole like no other before and you bit down on your lip with a smile as he made his way into the garage, soaking in everyones congratulations.

You were waiting for him in a quiet corner as he was making his round and when he finally made his way to you, he started to walk quicker and wrapped his arms around you with such force, that he almost pushed you into the wall behind you. “Oh my god careful” you laughed and hid your face in his chest while he leaned his head on top of yours. “I think it was the new routine” he mumbled and you smiled while patting his arm carefully. “Well. If you think it is we can do it from now on” you told him and slowly wrapped your arms around him. “You know what that means, right? Pole means a win” you added and he grinned wider than he did in a while. “I don’t want to sound arrogant but I think it will happen” he said and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I let it slip this weekend” you smiled at him and reached for his hand. “Come on. Get that celebration in” you added and laughed as he was quick in pulling you out of the garage.

***

You were smiling at the memories from that weekend and watched how he was thinking about what to say next. His eyes went back to the camera and you watched how he took a deep breath while smiling as well. “Yeah. Enjoy the process of making a name for yourself. Getting faster and faster each lap. And meeting some great people along the way. Yeah. There are a lot of worldly people in this paddock that you can laugh with. Learn from, enjoy some moments with so. Yeah” he chuckled and let his eyes wander to you for a second where you were shaking your head with a smile.

It brought you back to the time when he already moved to Renault. It was one of the hardest decisions he had to make in his career but you were by his side. Because you felt how much he wanted to do something new. Your opinion was the one that he always counted on because he knew you wouldn’t judge him in any way. During his first day at Renault you were by his side like you had promised him and while he was joking around with everyone, you could feel how a lot of weight was off his shoulders already.

You took as many days off at the beginning of the season to be in his garage at the race weekend and even if the results weren’t the ones that he had hoped for, he seemed to be happier. And that was what counted for you. The Renault atmosphere seemed lighter to you since the pressure wasn’t the same that he had experienced the years before, from the races and himself.

You were sitting in the Italian sun with him for the first time again after the big break and you glared at him when he laughed at how you were applying more and more sunscreen. “Yeah you laugh at me. Not everyone has Australian skin” you groaned and watched how slowly brought his fingers to your face and rubbed some more in. “You just look like a snowman” he joked before you slapped his hand away. “Will you stop?” you laughed and pushed your arm against his as you watched the people around the paddock. “I don’t really want to” Daniel said and laid his arm around your shoulder while slowly tracing his fingers along your skin. “Surprise” you joked and played with the little napkin. “How much did you miss it to be here?” he asked and you hummed quietly. “More than you can imagine” you told him and he grinned at you from the side. “Well. I know much you love Italy so I actually can” he said and waved at everyone who passed him with a smile. “I think they missed you too” you told him and laughed. “I think they are happy to get a break from me sometimes” he said and you chuckled. “Well. What about me?” you asked and saw how his eyes got big. “Wow. You know that hurts” he said but you were quick in grabbing his hand. “Daniel” you laughed and heard some more laughter from behind you. “What is happening here?” Nico asked while Daniel leaned back. “She’s just mean to me”. “Probably for a good reason” he countered while you hid you laugh behind your hand. “Okay we will all stop now” you said and chuckled while getting up and standing behind Daniel to put your hands on his shoulders. “We will love. That’s why we mess with you” you told him and watched how he leaned his head back. “Everyone?” he asked and before you poked his side. “Yes everyone. But not everyone is admitting it” you told him and pointed to the garages. “I think you should get going. Qualifying is not waiting is it?” you asked and he hummed before getting up and pushing his fingers between yours. “Okay boss. I am coming” he said and pulled you alongside with him.

When he crossed the line in P5, you were shocked in the most positive way and you watched him take all the hugs in with a wide smile. As he reached you, he was grinning from one ear to the other and quickly pressed a kiss to your temple. “What is it with you and Italy, huh?” you asked with a grin and he shrugged his shoulders while you slightly played with the curls on the back of his head. “I don’t know. I think it’s the sun and the pasta” he said and you chuckled while wrapping your arms around his helmet. “I think we should get some pasta for it tonight, don’t you think?” you asked and he hummed. “Yeah I don’t mind it” he winked before he was surrounded by his team again.

He didn’t mind the media session that day at all and you found yourself standing behind the camera and trying to hold back your laughter as Daniel sat on a chair and joked with Max about his age. “Getting older isn’t that easy anymore. Let me tell you” Daniel joked and thanked the interviewer before he scoped you up behind the camera and walked towards the team garages with you. You were watching him with a smile as he sang to himself in the little bathroom and grinned at himself in the mirror. “That was a good day, huh?” you asked and he hummed happily. “Yeah it was. This feels really good” he admitted and leaned against the sink as you walked up to him. “You can be proud of that. Literally everyone was happy for you” you told him and he smiled. “I appreciated every congrats today. You can believe me” he said and slowly wrapped his arm around your hip. “I know. And you can believe me that everyone means it” you told him and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Well. I believe you yeah” he said and tickled your side slightly.

“Do you think you could go out with me like that or should we change?” he asked and you snorted slightly while fixing your hair in the mirror. I think we can do it like that. We both aren’t on the fresh side anymore so we are good” you told him and laughed when Daniel messed your hair up a little. “Yeah you definitely look done” he joked and slowly pulled you backwards back into the room. “Oh stop it” you warmed him and pushed against his arm before you reached for your bag. “You look gorgeous. That’s what I wanted to say” he said which made your cheeks heat up from one second to the other. “Got you” he grinned and pushed his fingers between yours. “Ready for some food?”. “Definitely”.

Once you had found a restaurant, Daniel used his Italian to get you a table and you followed him with a smile before you squeezed into a little corner with him. “You know you sound so good when you talk Italian” you blurred out and he grinned at you before wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “Yeah? I can always teach you” he said and played with your hair. “I don’t I am easy to teach” you chuckled while Daniel joined. “We have a long time for it. Some years. I think we can get some good knowledge into you” he said and pressed a kiss to your head before you ordered.

While you ate, you constantly felt his hand tracing along your leg and chuckled slightly and while you poked his side. “Someone is in a very good mood” you told him and he hummed while stealing some of your pasta. “Yes I am. It was just. A really good day. I felt very good” he said and held his fork out for you. “That suits you the best. I am very happy” you told him and leaned back while letting out a happy sigh. “I think the team is happy as well. That’s what counts” he said and smiled at his hands. “Oh they are” you told him and squeezed his hand. “And you will make it work tomorrow as well” you added and he smiled. “You think?”. “Oh I know it”.

***

You were watching his face as he took a small break because you knew those were things that he all learned along his way. But you knew that his way brought you to where he was and you wouldn’t have changed a thing about it. He was playing with the strand on one of the pillows next to him before he found the words again. “Embrace the good ones. Stay focused. You got to the dance in the first place, doing what you do so don’t change too much. Don’t be too far of your path. I think just keep trying to build and grow and learn from yourself but don’t forget what got you here. The parties will come. You don’t want that name too early to be like the party guy that is finishing fifteenth. They will come in time but yeah. Earn them. Earn the parties. Earn the drinks. All that sort of stuff” he said with a laugh and everyone joined him.

Back in 2020 you felt like the season was back on his side. Finishing within the top five felt completely normal again and he reached the podium again for the first time in over a season, you couldn’t hold some tears back that were making their way down your cheeks.

When you were in Imola for the first time ever, you were more than excited. Seeing a new part of Italy made you nervous in a good way and even if it was with distance and masks, you were happy to be back. Working from home had made visiting races easier and you took every opportunity you had, especially since you were the only part of family that could be by his side without any restrictions and rules. You knew that it was harder for him than he wanted to admit but you did everything you could to make it easier.

Even behind his helmet you could see the wide smile when he stepped out after qualifying and you were shaking your head with a smile while you clapped with the team. He fist bumped everyone on his way to you and wrapped his arm around your hip and quickly took his helmet off. “How did P5 look?” he asked and you chuckled while pushing a mask over his face. “Well. I feel like I am kind of getting used to it so” you joked and he grinned. “You know how good that would be. Getting used to it” he said and leaned against the wall. “I wouldn’t mind it, you know” you told him and carefully placed your hand on his back. “Neither would I” he grinned and looked around before turning to you. “Now I don’t even mind the interviews” he added and pointed towards the motor home. “I’ll just freshen the curls up before it. Mind joining me?” he asked and you shook your head with a smile. “Not at all” you chuckled and grabbed the hand that he was holding out for you.

Since the rules were different to all the years before, you were making your way back to the hotel quite quickly and laid down in the middle of the big bed. “It’s nice to have that thing off” you mumbled as you laid the mask to the side but instead of replying, Daniel joined you and laid his body almost completely on top of yours. “Now you have me” he laughed and leaned his head against your neck. Even if he wasn’t always one for PDA, he always had his moments where he just wanted to be close. “I think you are better than a mask” you told him and slowly wrapped your arm around his back. “These 2020 compliments are something else” he said and felt how you were laughing underneath him. “But I only give them to you” you told him and watched how he closed his eyes. “That makes it special alright” he mumbled and played with the rings on your fingers.

“What do you think will happen tomorrow?” you asked and he hummed quietly. “I hope I can keep that position. I don’t think the Ferrari can come to close. But with Mercedes and RedBull. You never know” he said and you nodded. “True. But then it’s definitely possible to hold that positon” you told him and closed your eyes just like he did. “I hope you are right. I just want to celebrate a little” he said and propped his head up on his hand. “I don’t think that they let you party too much here” you told him but he just shrugged it off. “I don’t need a lot. Just some wine and a pizza and we’re good” he said and you chuckled. “If that’s it. Yeah we can do that” you countered and squeezed his hand. “What should we do until then?”. “Hmm. I don’t know. Just some Netflix? You koala documentary is waiting” he said and you bit down on your lip to stop the laughing. “You are okay with watching koalas?”. “When am I not okay with it is the better question” he said and looked for the remote. “Okay. Then. Let’s go”.

But what you had to celebrate the next day wasn’t anything that you had been expecting. The fact that he had kept his position for a long time made you happy already but with DNF happening after DNF you saw that he was up in P3 for the second time in three races. You were wobbling around on your chair almost the whole time and when he finally crossed the line one last time, you were letting out a squeal before you ignored everyone around you and ran towards the podium area. Since barely any fans were allowed, it was rather quiet but you didn’t care. When he stepped out of the car again, he was shaking his head and quickly made his way over to jump into his team. You were watching with a wide smile under your mask and carefully wiped the tears away that were slowly making their way down your cheeks. When he reached you, you were wrapping your arms around his neck and chuckled slightly while trying to keep the tears to a bare minimum. “Two out of three. That’s not too bad is it?” he asked and you shook you head while chuckling quietly. “Not at all. What the hell” you whispered and took the helmet from his hands. “I think they heard that I want to celebrate today. Are you in for wine and pizza?” he asked before you were quickly nodding. “Of course. You don’t need to ask twice” you told him and watched his grin before he was told to make his way to the podium.

With his trophy in his arms, you were making your way back to the hotel again and watched how he placed the trophy on the little nightstand on his side. “You know I can’t wrap my head around this” he admitted and slowly turned to you. “A season with nothing and then I get this” he added while he sat down on the bed. “It just shows how much you have been working. You have been improving since the start. This is just what you deserve” you told him and sat down next to him. “Last year I was doubting so much if I did the right thing with leaving. I know a lot thought I was stupid. But this now feels so much lighter” he said while you reached for his hand. “Change isn’t a bad thing. Even if it needs time to feel right. The time comes where it does and that’s important. And you learn along your way” you told him and smiled when he placed a kiss to your cheek. “Did you train this before?” he asked while you pushed against his arm. “I didn’t. But it’s what I see. I am here for a while, you know. I think I know you and your head quite well” you told him and carefully watched his face. “Yeah you do. You are the most important person. I don’t know how I would do this alone” he admitted locked eyes with you. “Good thing that you don’t need to worry about this. I am not planning on going anywhere. I think you have to stick with just me for a while” you told him and watched how his lips twitched. “Yeah could be worse” he breathed out and pressed a kiss to your lips. “Yeah being here could be worse too” you countered and leaned your forehead against his shoulder. “I know that look on your face and I know you don’t want to cry but I love you. And before you cry. Should we order pizza?” he asked and you bit down on your lip for a second before you looked up to him. “I love you too. And yes. Please” you chuckled quietly while he reached for the phone.

***

Those memories always had a special place in your heart and every time you thought back to them, you felt how your heart was beating faster and faster. You were proud to be a part of his journey and everything that happened in any way brought him to where he was now. From the corner of your eye you could see how the camera guy wanted to speak up but before he had a chance, Daniel was talking again and you chuckled silently into your hand as you watched his smile paired with a more serious look on his face. “Uhm. It shouldn’t come for free no matter what people might convince you with. And yeah. Bring friends along. Bring family along. Don’t assume that they will be a distraction. They might be something to take the weight from your shoulders on a race weekend. They are also people to enjoy the moment with. To celebrate with. So don’t be afraid to surround yourself with people that you care about and love. And they are also excited to be on this journey so. Yeah. Get after it”

You knew he was talking about the last two years without being able to go home. The longer the time was where he couldn’t go home the less he talked about it. It was his way of dealing with it for a while and you accepted it since you couldn’t help to change it. But when you saw him struggling to find his spot on the grid with a whole new car, it felt like you had to do something even if you couldn’t do it there either. You always told him his time would come again and as much as he wanted to believe it, he was struggling.

He saw new drivers on the podium, new drivers winning and he wanted to be a part of it again. He wanted it so badly that it was blocking him more and more. So when it came to the big summer break, you knew it was time to forget about racing for a while. With his permission you logged him out of his social media account before you did the same with yours and when you landed in Spain, you took time off with him.

Days were spend at the beach and nights on the balcony with wine and you could tell how his batteries were recharging. He came back to the tracks with a smile on his face and after his P4 in Belgium and P11 in Zandvoort, he was ready to take the next races instead of hoping for the season to pass quicker. When you were back in Monza, you almost forgot that you had a qualifying session on Friday to get through but when it was over, you were glad that it happened. A solid P5 felt more than amazing and you could tell how happy it was making Daniel. He was joking and smiling his way through the Saturday and when it was race time, you were staring at the screen for so long that you forgot how to blink. Making up two places was a dream and when he managed to finish on P3, meaning it would be P2 for Sunday you were too shocked to move.

Only when the garage was almost completely empty, you were following them and you watched how Daniel got his medal from the far left. During his interview, his eyes were looking for you from time to time and when he finally found you, he was wobbling slightly. With a quick “cheers” he was making his way over to the team and to you. You watched him with a wide smile and before you knew it, the medal was around your neck and Daniel wrapped his arm around you to hide you a little bit. “I am too shocked” you told him quietly and he laughed slightly while people patted on his back. “I think if it’s only Lewis passing me tomorrow. It could be quite good” he said and you nodded. “Yeah definitely. I am just. Yeah. Wow” you chuckled and looked at the medal around your neck. “This is a cool thing. I have to say. Now I like the new format” he joked and you snorted slightly before looking up to him. “I am really proud” you whispered and felt his hand on your back. “Hey. No tears okay? I looked so manly five minutes ago. I don’t want to lose that” he whispered back before you chuckled. “Alright. Alright. I will stop” you told him and took a deep breath with a smile. “Thank you, angel” he winked before you pushed his side and watched how he soaked the atmosphere in.

Most of the other drivers were congratulating him over again as you made your way out of the paddock and towards the hotel and while you were eating pasta in your hotel room, Daniel couldn’t swipe the smile of his face. “I feel like I’ve won this whole race” he breathed out and you smiled at him. “Well. To me you did basically. I was so shocked. I don’t know. I was just not expecting it so fast” you told him and watched how he pushed his fingertips underneath yours. “Yeah neither was I. But it was so much fun. Let me tell you that” he said and squeezed your fingers. “Oh I bet. Overtaking looks extra cool” you added and laid your other hand over his. “You can be proud. No matter what happens tomorrow” you told him and he smiled at your hands. “You always say that”. “I know. And I mean it” you countered and laid your head to the side. “I know you want to win. I know you do. Who doesn’t here? But I think you show people that it’s more than just that. You love what you do. You love to bring everyone around when you can. You show that it’s about people as well. Not just money and being cold-hearted” you rambled while Daniel watched your eyes. “You know I think you are the only person in this world that can read me like a book. In the best way. You know this wouldn’t be it if I would be here alone. I know you do a lot to be here almost every time and it means everything to me. And I want to show you that it’s worth it. So I really want a podium” he whispered looked back up to you. “I am the last one to say no” you said to lighten the mood and chuckled when he did as well. “Okay good. Then I will just. Do it” he told you and pulled you to him. “I love you”. “I love you too, Dan”.

And that he held his promise was an understatement. From the first lap on you could barely stay on your seat. With the big accident between Lewis and Max everything was back to being mixed up and you were just waiting for it to be over. Every team radio made you nervous. Every movement in the garage made you turn around but when you finally saw the last few corners appearing, you were confident. You were running out of the garage with the team and hid your face behind your shaking hands. Everyone was screaming happily around you but all you did was star at the cars coming back.

Daniel was standing on his halo and patted his chest before he was making his way to his team and jumped into everyone. All you could hear was cheering everywhere and you tried to stay on your feet. You were still in too much of a shock to handle everything. Only when you saw him standing in front of you, you felt some tears rolling down your cheeks. “Redemption day” was all you said and laughed quietly when he pulled you into his chest. “I can’t believe this” he nearly shouted and leaned his helmet against your head. “You deserve it. Come on. Get it” you said quietly and felt how he squeezed your hands before he slowly made his way to the interviews while still shaking his head in disbelief.

“What a comeback Daniel” the interviewer said and all he did was nod his head. “Yeah. I don’t really have words. I waited so long for this. It’s been so long. But I am just happy that I can show everyone that I never left” he said and pushed his hands through his hair. “And I am not just saying this to sound cool. I have a lot of people at home that always watch the race. My family hasn’t attended any races in so long. And I can’t just easily go there. I just wanted to prove it. And have something good when I can see them” he rambled and you let out a teary breath as you listened to him. “I got my girlfriend here. She’s the one part of my family that has been here all last year. And this season. Yeah I just want to make them proud. It wouldn’t have been the same if I had to do this all alone. I am a family guy. I can’t help it. And I know I am a lucky guy” he chuckled and turned to you with a smile one more time.

***

It wasn’t the first time that you took this route to his house but it was the first time going there before you were basically off again to your first holiday with him. To say you weren’t nervous would have been a lie but you were more excited about it than anything else. You had been dating for some months when Lando brought it up during a date night but when you saw the nervousness on his face and in his smile you couldn’t say no to him. Not that you wanted to in the first place.

The thought of the look in his face brought a smile to your lips and when he saw it from the corner of his eyes, he was slowly bringing his fingers between yours. “Let me in. What’s so funny?” he asked while you shrugged your shoulders. “Nothing” you told him and watched how he glared at you with a smile before he looked back on the road.

When you arrived at his house, the sun was already settling and you were happy that he had stopped to get some pizza before. You just pushed your bags in the corner once you were inside and chuckled when the first place Lando went was his couch. “Just straight to it?” you asked and he hummed before he reached his hand out for you. “Of course. We can’t eat it cold” he said and pulled you to his side. “But before we eat” he continued and turned to you to press his lips to yours. “Hi he whispered and you grinned slightly. “Hi” you whispered back and leaned your face against his shoulder. “I am very excited for this” he said quietly and traced his hand along the back of your hand. “So am I. I haven’t been on summer holiday without my parents ever” you chuckled and reached for the first pizza. “Never? And then the first one is with me? Oh god. The pressure” he mumbled and stole a bite from your piece. “I am happy with just. Laying on the beach all day. Maybe some ice cream but that’s all I need” you told him and pushed his side. “Well. That shouldn’t be a problem” he said with a smile and pressed a kiss to your cheek.

***

The next morning you were tired. As you got ready you could barely keep an eye open and Lando felt the same. Instead of sleeping you had spent the night just laughing and talking because you were too nervous and excited. And you regretted it in that very moment. With quietness around you, you made your way downstairs into the kitchen and chuckled when Lando stood behind you and rubbed his head against yours. “Are you as ready as I am?” he mumbled and reached for your hands. “Yes I am. Wide awake” you told him and slowly turned around to him. “Tea? Do you think it will wake you up?” you asked and he hummed. “Maybe a little yeah. But you don’t need to make it. All good” he said and pressed a kiss to your lips before he slipped past you and got everything from the cupboards.

The tea helped a little to wake up and once you had everything that you could think off, you were making your way to his car again and slipped in the seat. You were hiding your hands in the long sleeves of Landos hoodie watched how the sun was slowly rising. “This looks so nice” you mumbled to yourself and Lando nodded. “It is. But I bet Spain is even better” he said and tried to grab your hand but all he found was the empty sleeve. “What are you doing?” he laughed and you snorted before getting your hand out again. “I just like to disappear” you told him and watched the smile on his face as he just drove along.

At the airport you didn’t waste a lot of time to make your way to the gate. After you got rid of the suitcases, you were strolling through the security and the food areas and sat down in the corner with a sandwich and more tea. “I think we will regret the hoodie once we are there” you mumbled as you ate and Lando hummed. “Probably. But then they can at least see that we’re straight from the UK” he said and grinned at you as he ate.

Then your flight was on the screen, you were making your way inside quickly and looked up to Lando when he waited in front of your row. “What are you waiting for?” you asked as he pointed to the seat. “I thought you would enjoy the window spot more” he said and you bit down on your lip with a smile before you sat and pulled Lando next to you. “What are your plans for the flight?” he asked while you reached for your headphones in the bag. “I was going to just do some simple music” you told him and Lando hummed. “Alone?” he asked again and you chuckled before holding one ear piece out to him. “If you can handle some quiet music” you told him and he smiled while leaning his chin on your shoulder. “Yeah I can” he mumbled and pressed a kiss to your jaw before you tapped on your phone.

The hour passed quicker than you thought and before you knew it, you had your luggage back and made your way out of the airport. You were regretting your hoodie from that moment on and quickly got rid of it as you walked towards one of the taxis.On your way, Lando was sitting in the front and you in the back and you had to hold your laughter back when the taxi driver talked to Lando the whole time. He had no idea what he was saying but he always nodded politely and tried to answer some questions in his way. Every time your laughter came through, Lando was glaring at you and you reached for his shoulder as you tried to calm down.

When the car stopped, you said a quick “thank you” and got your bags our before Lando was standing next to you and tickled your side. “You had some fun, huh?” he asked and you laughed as you reached for his hands. “I did. You were so flushed. I just couldn’t stop” you breathed out and reached for his shoulders. “I am sorry but this was so cute” you added and pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Yeah right” he pouted and squeezed your sides. “I will continue to pout but I think we should go inside” he added and you almost forgot about it. With a quick motion you turned to the house and had to smile wide instantly. "It’s so pretty” you mumbled and felt Landos hand along your back. “Yeah it is” he said and pressed a kiss to your head before he made a step forward. “Come on. Let’s have a look”.

And as soon as you stepped in, your eyes felt like they were falling out of your head. It was a lovely smaller house that had a mix of modern and Spanish interior in it. Lando was following you with a smile and when you reached the balcony, you were shaking your head. “This is like. Unbelievable. There’s a pool the ocean right there. And it’s so quiet” you mumbled while Lando stood behind you and leaned his head on top of yours. “I thought it was quite nice. If we want action we can go into the city. But for the rest we can just. Relax” he said and you nodded. “It’s amazing” you told him and slowly turned around to him. “I want to have a look at the pool” you added and Lando grinned before he let you go. “Alright come on” he said and followed you downstairs again before he watched how you dipped your feet into the water. “Oh yeah” you mumbled and didn’t see how Lando was walking up to you from behind. “Do you have your phone with you?” he asked and you shook your head. “It’s in my bag. Why?” you asked but before he answered, you felt how he wrapped his arm around you and pushed you into the water with him. You were squealing as you were back above water and only heard Landos laughing as he wrapped his arms back around you. “You could have warned me” you laughed but he just shrugged it off. “Where is the fun?” he asked with a grin and pulled you back to him. “You are so silly” you chuckled and carefully pushed his hair back. “Maybe sometimes yeah” he smiled and pressed a kiss to your lips. “Happy holiday, love”.

***

The next morning you woke up from the sun and it was the first time that you didn’t care about it. The warmth coming from it made you hum quietly while you felt how Lando was moving beside you. “Lando” you mumbled before you wrapped your arm around him. “Stop moving” you mumbled and hid your face on his arm. “Sorry” he whispered tiredly and pressed his nose into your hair. “Just got so warm” he mumbled and traced his finger along your lashes. “Yeah that’s true” you breathed out and slowly opened your eyes to look at him. “Slept good?” he asked and you nodded against his skin. “Very good. And you?”. “Very good. I think that’s one of the best sleeps I ever had” he said and pressed a kiss to your lips. “Do you want to stay here? Or should we get some breakfast and then go to the beach?” he asked and you frowned. “What do you think, huh?” you joked and poked his cheek before you slowly sat up.

Lando was watching you with a wide smile as you got ready with him and as you were done, you were making your way downstairs and watched how he grabbed some things from the fridge. “They filled it thankfully” Lando mumbled and turned to you. “Bread? Egg? Tomatoes?” he asked and you smiled at him and hopped on the counter. “Yeah sounds perfect” you whispered and watched him while you snapped some photos of him. “Am I posing good?” he asked and you laughed quietly. “Yeah you are. All natural” you told him and traced along his neck. “I’ll get everything outside” you added and collected the plates before you brought everything to the little table.

He followed you after some minutes and placed everything right between the two of you. “This looks amazing” you told him and saw the little blush on his face. “I tried my best” he smiled and ate with you. You were so concentrated on the food you didn’t saw how Lando took some photos this time before he kicked your toes slightly. “Stop it” you laughed and kicked him back. “I just really want to go into the water” he pouted and stole the last tomato from your plate. “I mean. I don’t want to force you” he added and quickly looked up to you. “Of course I want to” you chuckled and got up again. “But not a chance without sunscreen” you warned him and grabbed your little bag. “Because I saw you without it once. And. Never again” you added and laughed when he tried to grab your leg. “Yeah the lobster. I know” he said and quickly got up. “I just need your help then” he said and wrapped his finger around yours. “I think I can do that” you told him and ignored the plates before you took the small path down to the quiet beach.

Only a few people were there when you arrived and right after laying your towel down, Lando was sitting down and you took the chance to play with his hair. “Give me the sunscreen. Come on” you said quietly and Lando did before he leaned his head back and looked at you. “Thank you, love” he mumbled and you just smiled at him before you slowly applied it on his back. “Stop moving” you laughed but he only groaned. “I am ticklish” he said and grabbed your hands when you were on his sides. “I can tell” you continued to laugh and laid your hand on his shoulders. “I am done now though. All good” you told him and sat down in front of him. “Now I can get the revenge” he said grinned and carefully applied it on your back. But instead of tickling you, you felt how he drew along your skin with his finger.

“What did I write?” he asked and you sighed. “I didn’t know that you were writing. Again. Please” you said and he slowly did it. “Okay. Lando. That was easy” you said and he huffed before he rubbed it in. “Alright. Just wait” he mumbled and did it again. “Lando. I have no idea how many letters that were” you said and he grinned. “Ha. I thought it was easy” he joked and you groaned. “It was a B at the beginning. That’s all I know” you told him and felt his arm around your hip. “It was Barcelona. Better luck tomorrow” he said and drew two stripes on your cheek. “Okay. I will come up with something as well” you warned him and laid down next to him to dry up.As you waited to dry, Lando was watching you with a smile and slowly laid his head on top of your arm. You knew what he wanted to achieve with it so you slowly pushed your fingertips through his hair. With a quiet hum he closed his eyes again and you watched him with a smile. He seemed so relaxed and happy which made your heart beat faster.

After some tanning you were starting to get hot so you decided that it was time to go into the water. Thankfully it was the perfect mixture between warm and cold and you were enjoying every second of it. When you decided to go back to your towels, you were the first that laid down which Lando took as an invitation to lay his head on top of your stomach. You chuckled slightly as you looked down to him and shook your head slightly. “What is your plan?” you asked while Lando just shrugged his shoulders. “Nothing special” he mumbled and traced his fingers along your leg. When you saw just his messy curls then, you snapped a quick photo of him and traced along his shoulder. He was humming every now and then when you reached his favourite spot and you couldn’t stop the chuckling when he turned to you again. “Are you happy?” Lando asked and all you could do was nod instantly. “Of course I am. Are you?” you asked back and he grinned wide, which made his eyes squint. “Very very happy” he said and pressed a kiss to your skin.

***

Two days later you were sunbathing on your little terrace in the middle of the day and chuckled when Lando splashed some water on your feet every now and then. “Thanks for keeping me cool” you told him and looked down to him again. “Always a pleasure” he said and sat down on the end of your lounger. “Can I ask you something?” he asked already and you hummed while sitting up as well. “You did” you joked and watched how he rolled his eyes with a smile. “I just wanted to ask you if you want to go out tonight. If you are up to it. We don’t need to” he rambled and you felt yourself blushing before you leaned your head against his shoulder. “Of course I want to” you whispered and kissed his cheek. “Why wouldn’t I want to go out?” you smiled and he shrugged his shoulders with a chuckle. “I don’t know” he answered honestly and held his hand out for you. “I have a proper shirt with me for a reason” he added which made you chuckle. “I definitely want to see it” you told him and played with his hair. “I’ll dress up for you” he winked and leaned against your legs.

Sometime later you were getting out of the shower again and put on one of the longer dresses that you had brought with you. After some light make-up and an easy hairstyle, you were tiptoeing out of the bathroom again and looked at Lando with a smile who was buttoning up his shirt. “Why are the buttons so small” he groaned and you chuckled quietly which made him turn around in just one second. “Oh wow you look beautiful” he blurred out and you blushed instantly while you walked up to him. “You don’t look too bad yourself” you smiled and fixed his collar. “I just had a really long fight with these buttons” he said with a chuckle and looked at you. “But it was worth it” you told him and watched how he traced along your cheek. “You look really beautiful” he whispered again and pressed a kiss to your head. “Stop making me blush” you whispered with a smile and hid you face at his shoulder. “Can we take a photo? In the mirror maybe?” he asked and you nodded straight away. “Yes please” you answered and stood beside him while he played around with the camera. “It would be a lot easier if we were three” he mumbled and kissed your cheek again. “Well. It would also be creepy” you laughed and reached for your purse. “Maybe a little yeah. But do you have everything?” he asked while you reached for his hand. “Yes. Got everything” you told him and followed him with a smile.

The walk wasn’t too long until you reached the little city and once you had found what Lando was looking for, you sat down on the terrace near the ocean with him. “This is so beautiful” you mumbled and Lando smiled at you. “Yeah it is. But I like my view more. Sorry that was cheesy” he said and you snorted. “A little but you are too cute” you whispered and squeezed his hand while you waited for the menu.

Once you decided on what you wanted, you saw how Lando was looking at his phone for some time and couldn’t tell what it meant. “What’s so interesting?” you asked and he hummed a little. “I just looked at our photos. And I think I want to post one. If it’s okay” he said and you looked at him with big eyes. “Just us? Yeah. I mean. Why not?” you told him and tapped on his screen. “We got nothing to hide do we” you added and saw the smile on Landos lips. “Nah I don’t want that” he told you and clicked on some photos for he let you chose with him.

Just as the food came you were done, and snapped a quick photo of it where Lando stuck his head into the shot. “You post the cute stuff. I post the real stuff” you chuckled and laid your phone to the side again.

After you food, you felt like you were ready to explode but in the best way possible. Lando was quick in paying before you could and held his hands out of you. “Should we end it with a nice walk?” he asked and you took his hands with a nod. “Yes please” you told him and leaned against him as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “Perfect”.

You shivered slightly as you walked along the promenade and when Lando felt it, he was quickly reaching for the sweater that he took with him. “As if I knew” he smiled and carefully pulled it over your head. “Yeah and I knew you knew” you chuckled and rubbed your arm against his. “The lights look pretty here. Can we take another photo?” you asked and Lando nodded while he took some of you as you walked to the spot. “Stop it” you chuckled but he didn’t until he reached you. “It looked to good” he said before he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and snapped some photos, some more serious than the other ones.

You looked at them on your way back to the house and laughed more and more since you were a little tipsy. As you sat down on the bed, Lando was watching you with a smile and shook his head when he saw how you were struggling with the little band on your shoes. “Come on, love” he chuckled and kneeled down before he slowly undid the shoes for you. You were watching him with a tired smile and carefully traced along his hair. “Thank you, Lando” you whispered and wrapped your arms around his neck when he sat up. “No problem” he whispered back pulled you closer to him. The longer you looked at him the quicker your heart was beating and you couldn’t get your head around how lucky you were to be there with him.

Once you were dressed in just one of his shirts, you slipped back under the sheets and carefully wrapped your arms around his body. “I really loved today” you whispered and hummed as Lando played with your hair. “Do did I. A lot. These evenings are my favourite. I wish we could do it every day” he said and traced along your lashes like he did so often. “Yeah it would be nice” you whispered and felt how he shifted. “You know that you are always welcome at my house. You can always come around” he said and you smiled slightly. “I know. I’ll always join you when I have the time” you told him and opened your eyes for a second just to see him looking at you already. “I am happy about it” he smiled and pressed his lips to your cheeks. “Sleep now, okay? I think that last wine made you extra sleepy” he said and you laughed quietly. “Yeah it did. Night, Lando”.

***

When it got to the end of your holiday, Lando brought the idea up to lend one of the little boats on a lake and even though you had no idea if he could handle it, you agreed. You held onto your things as you stepped on the boat and watched how Lando got the last bits of instructions. “I can do that” Lando told the guy and laughed with him before he walked over to you and pointed to the side. “I can do it. When anything happens they are there. It’s just a lake” he said and you hummed. “You can do it yeah” you smiled and stood behind him as he started the steering.

He was going slow at the start but the more comfortable he was the faster he got and you couldn’t stop your laughter when he was almost screaming. “This is so good” he laughed and pulled you to his side. “There is nobody to race though you know” you told him and decided to try it yourself. “Well. It’s always one” he joked and leaned his head against your shoulder as he watched you.When you found a nice spot to stop, you were laying your dress to the side and laid on the little sunbed at the back of the boat. You didn’t need to tell Lando twice before he joined you and before you knew it, he had his head back on your stomach. “One day I will have your head imprint right there” you joked and played around with the sunglasses on his nose. “Wouldn’t that look good?” he asked and hissed jokingly when you hit his arm. “You would get a revenge” you told him and intertwined your fingers with him. “I know I would” he said and turned around to face you.

As you saw the smile on his face, you felt how your heart was fluttering again. You were playing with his curls and took a deep breath before you closed your eyes again. “I know you said that I don’t need to say thank you. But this is a dream and I appreciate every second of it” you told him and held his eyes closed when he rolled them with a smile. “Don’t do that now” you chuckled and squeezed his cheek slightly. “Just thank you. The last months were one of the best I ever had” you added and watched how he laid his head right next to yours. “Yeah I can only say it back. You take the plane rides to come and see me every weeks. You are okay with me being busy on the weekends. I know it can be a lot but you are okay with it. And it means a lot to me” he said and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “I know you love your job. I could never say anything against it” you smiled and wrapped your arm around his shoulder. “I do. But it’s so much better to have you on my side” he said and pressed a kiss to your lips. “You are so cute” you whispered and held onto him. “You know maybe one day you can join me to a race. I can show you around” he said and you bit down on your lip with a smile.

You knew his day would start with interviews and videos so you sat on the side of the team hospitality as they got going. As you watched him laughing with Carlos, you were smiling too and leaned back against the soft couch before you felt a dip beside you. When you turned your head, you saw Isa sitting next to you and you smiled while she pulled you into a quick side hug. “It’s so good to see you again” she said and you nodded with a smile on your lips. “Right back at you. It’s been a moment” you countered and leaned your head against your hand. “Luckily I knew that you would be here this weekend. How is it?” she asked and you nodded again. “All good. Charles is nervous. He admitted it a little bit but yeah. I am just hoping it will work out this time” you told her and she hummed. “Yeah I know. But the car is good so I don’t think any of us need to worry too much” she said and looked back to the boys as you heard them laugh. “I hope you are right”.

Once they were done, Charles was looking at you and pointed towards the dining area. With a smile and a quick goodbye to Isa you made your way over to it and watched how Charles was walking up to you. “Had fun?” you asked and he nodded. “Yeah. Sometimes it’s a little weird but that one was alright” he said and laid his hand on your back for a second before you got some food on your plate.

As you sat down on the little terrace outside, you were letting your eyes wander around as you ate while Charles was chatting with his physio in Italian. You found it hard to understand the connections about what they were saying so you were zooming out a little bit. But after some time, his physio left again and you felt how he traced his little finger against yours. “Sorry but it’s always easier in Italian” he said and you shrugged it off with a chuckle. “Oh I know. But I am still not good enough to understand it” you told him before he chuckled as well. “Just some more seasons and you will get everything about my neck and muscles” he said and winked at you for a second.

On your way to his garage, Charles was walking next to you again and even with walking so close to him, you were never really holding hands in public. You knew that he wasn’t one for it from the start and he knew that you didn’t mind it. He was different when you were alone but when you were out, being just close was your thing. You watched him as he got dressed in his racing wear and smiled at him when you saw how he lifted his eyebrows at you. You showed him your crossed fingers with your headphones on and slowly turned to the screen while Charles was making his way out of the garage for his first training session.

You weren’t too surprised when he came back on P1 for both sessions but that didn’t mean that you weren’t happy. You were clapping with everyone as he made his way back from the last season and watched how he accepted the handshakes from everyone.

When he spotted you sitting in the corner of the garage, he was pulling his helmet off and made his way towards you while he couldn’t hide the smile on his lips. You were carefully reaching for his hands and squeezed his fingers a little before taking his helmet from his hand. “Never touched a wall. Never got close to one. It looked really good” you told him and he nodded while stealing some of your water. “Yeah it felt good. It was quite bumpy but I think the others had even more issues” he said and looked around. “But we also need that again tomorrow. So we will see” he added and squeezed your hand again.

“Do you want to come to the interviews again? Or do you want to stay here?” he asked and you laid your head to the side. “Well. If you ask me I wouldn’t mind to join” you told him and he smiled before he pointed to the door. “Then come on, mon amour”.

You knew it would take him some time to be done but when the sun was slowly setting, you were making your way back with him and hummed quietly to the music that you heard in the streets. The walk to his place wasn’t too long thankfully and after some quick dinner, you were watching TV in bed already even when it was still quite early. After some time, you felt how Charles was playing with your rings and fingers so you slowly turned your hand around before he pushed his fingers between yours. “Do you actually think it will work this time?” he asked and you hummed instantly. “Yes. Of course. Luck always changes don’t worry” you told him and felt his lips on the side of your head. “I hope you are right” he whispered and you hummed. “I always am” you joked and chuckled when he pushed his nose into your hair. “Yeah I shouldn’t question you. I know”.

***

On Saturday morning you were watching the F2 session from the Ferrari hospitality while Charles was concentrating on his beloved notebook. You watched the frown on his face with a smile slightly kicked his leg to get him out of your thoughts. “Don’t you know it by heart now?” you asked and he rolled his eyes with a smile. “But it helps” he mumbled and walked up to your side. “It’s crazy how many people can be in such a small space” you whispered to yourself and felt how his arm brushed against yours. “Yeah it is. Too much?” he asked and you shrugged your shoulders. “Depends on it. I just like to watch it from here at the moment. Hectic down there” you told him and felt his hand on your back. “Oh I know. Trust me. I just don’t want the questions right now. They can ask it after qualifying” he said and took a step back from the window. “You are really nervous aren’t you?” you carefully asked and he nodded. “Kind of. I don’t want them to think that I am. Stupid I know but I just want that pole” he said slowly pushed his hand around your back. “It will work out. This is your track” you told him and carefully pressed a kiss to his cheek. “Give me a real one” he whispered and you chuckled slightly before you carefully did. “For the luck?” you asked and he did. “Yeah exactly” he mumbled and watched your face. “Oh my god don’t look so sad. Please” you chuckled and played with his hands. “You are the pole man this season. And it will stay like it” you continued and pointed to the window. “Now come on. Get in that car and continue your P1 thing”.

During the training session you were rather relaxed but when it got close to qualifying, you noticed how your leg was wobbling more and more. Charles was looking at you for one final time before he drove out of the garage and you showed him your crossed fingers with a smile.

The first two sessions didn’t give you a stomach ache at all. You weren’t worried about them but when it got to the last session, you had to tale deep breaths. His first try was already a good lap and you tried to relax as much as you could. When you saw everyone on a fast lap, you were holding your breath a little but when the incident with Perez and Carlos came, you felt how your breathing stopped for a second but when it got red flagged you knew it meant that Charles was on pole.

You were clapping to yourself as you watched him return to the pit lane again and when he took his helmet off and took the atmosphere in. He had a wide smile on his face during the interviews and carried the tyre trophy into the garage where everyone was clapping for him all over again. Every mechanic was patting on his back and took the tyre off him so he could soak everything in. When his eyes fell to you, he quickly walked over to you and leaned his head against yours. “I told you this would be it” you whispered and he grinned slightly as he squeezed your hand. “This is half of it” he said and took a deep breath. “I really want to win this” he whispered and you nodded. “I know. It will be okay tomorrow” you told him and heard how some people called his name behind you. “But now go on. They need you don’t they?” you smiled he hummed. “Okay. But then we go home, okay?” he asked and you nodded straight away. “Yeah. Go on”.

With a tired but smiling face, Charles was walking next to you again and hummed as you listened to him talk about his interviews. “I don’t think I’ve spoken this many words in a while” he chuckled and laid his hand on your back as you stepped into the elevator. “But I can tell how much calmer you are now. It’s good” you told him and played with his finger. “It feels a lot easier now. No damage. New engine. I haven’t felt this good here in a while” he mumbled and pressed a kiss to your head.

When you were laying in bed again, Charles was carefully playing with your hair while you had your eyes closed and pressed against his shoulder. You felt like you were tired from just cheering in the garage and Charles tried not to chuckle at the frown on your face. “Don’t laugh” you whispered and pulled the blanket up to your nose. “You just look so concentrated not to fall asleep” he said and carefully pulled you closer to him. “Because I don’t want to but I just can’t help it” you yawned and hummed at his lips on your head. “Then sleep. I’ll just watch” he said before you snorted quietly. “Creep. But I’ll accept it” you told him and laid your hand over his chest. “Good night, mon amour”.

***

The track on Sunday was a whole different level on Sunday to before. You saw so many different familiar faces in every garage which made it even crazier to be between all of them. You were holding onto the end of Charles shirt again and tried to keep up with squeezing through the people. In his drivers room you took a deep breath again and shook your head slightly. “Crazy how many people I know. This is so different. Wow” you rambled and Charles smiled at you. “If you need some photos. Today is the day” he said but you shook your head while he started to change. “You know I am too awkward” you chuckled and played with the little red band on your bag. “Don’t be silly” he said in a serious tone before he pushed the cap over his head and turned to you.

“I am so nervous. Why am I nervous” he mumbled and you smiled slightly before you held your hands out like you always did. “It’s home. It’s different. But you are on the perfect position for the win. It will be good” you promised him and felt his lips on your forehead. “I just don’t want rain. It will make it so much more difficult” he mumble while you zipped his suit up. “I know. But it would mean even less chances to overtake” you said and he smiled against your head. “Winning with every chance they give” you added and pointed to the door. “So get going. Do your interviews and then. Drive this car” you smiled and followed him back downstairs.

As you sat in the garage, you were having your fingers crossed as hard as you could but you were met with Charles sooner than you wanted. With the rain delay and the red flag, it took them a while again before there was a chance to race again but when they finally could race again, you were more than happy that Charles could keep his position. But when it got to the first pit stops, you felt the chaos starting in every garage but when you heard and saw what they were doing with Charles you held your breath in. “Box box. No box! No box!” his engineer called but it was too late already. Charles had to wait behind Carlos and in that moment, you heard anger in Charles voice that you never heard before. “What the hell were you doing?” he shouted and it sounded like there was nothing that could get his anger down.

When he came back on track in fourth position, you were whispering to yourself over and over again and didn’t know if you should take the headphones off or leave them on. Charles wasn’t talking on the radio anymore and you knew that he had to hold himself back. When the race came to an earlier end than normally, you were still trying to hear a word from Charles but while the one half was happy about Carlos podium, you were disappointed for him because it was nothing that was in his control.

Once he had parked the car, you watched how he stayed seated for quite a while and when he made his way back to the pits, your heart was beating loud and you didn’t know what to do. The first mechanics tried to calm him down but when you heard his anger again, you sighed. “This is not acceptable. I don’t even know what to say” Charles said and before his team could say anything else, he was throwing his gloves into the corner before he made his way out of the garage and towards his room.

You didn’t know if you should follow him but before you could proper think, your feet had already made up a plan. You were trying to jog up behind him but when you didn’t caught up, you slowed down again and walked up to his door. He was swearing under his breath as you slowly opened the door and leaned against the wall again. “I don’t want to see anybo-“ he started but when he saw you, he stopped talking. You watched how his chest was raising up and down and before you realised, you were walking up to him. “I am so sorry” you whispered but all he did was shaking his head. “I don’t even know what to say. They messed my whole weekend up. Why am I doing all of this when they can’t even pit me properly! I could have waited for a whole lap and it would have been fine” he said through gritted teeth while you carefully laid your hand on his cheek. “It wasn’t your fault. I can’t make it any better. I know. But you can’t change their mistake. You did everything you could” you whispered and slowly traced your fingers along his jaw. “Why can’t anything work out? I could have won this. Easily. Here at home. And now got P4. It’s nothing” he breathed out but you shook your head. “P4 still gave you some good points. Please don’t be angry. You will be back here again. You will win this one, okay? Please don’t be angry” you whispered and watched how his shoulders dropped. “I just wanted it so bad” he whispered and slowly leaned his forehead against yours. “I know you did. I know. But you did amazing. I am so proud of you” you told him and wrapped your arms around his neck as he wrapped his arms around your middle. “You can’t be proud of that” he said but you just huffed. “I have every right to be” you told him and pressed a kiss to his cheek.

When you heard a loud knock on the door, you wanted to take your hands away but Charles didn’t let you go. “What is it?” he asked and you heard his PR team talking about some interviews. When his eyes fell to you again, you nodded carefully before he slowly rubbed over his eyes. “Five minutes” Charles told them before he pushed his hands into your shirt again. “Don’t be angry with them, okay? Please don’t. They know that they messed up but you are better than that” you told him and drew small circles on his cheek. “I am doing my best” he whispered and stayed quiet again while he held onto you.

After some time, he slowly let go of you and brought his eyes back to yours. “Are you coming with me? Please?” he asked and you nodded instantly. “Of course. I will wait there” you told him and held onto his hand when he didn’t let go of you. Even when he reached his team he didn’t let go of your hand. They were talking him through the post-race interviews and all he did was nod the whole time. You knew it wouldn’t be easy but when you waited on the side of the camera, you could tell how hard it was for him to keep a neutral face. “We just move on to Baku” were his last words and he said goodbye with a small smile and a nod before he was back at your side. “I just need to do this meeting now. Then we can head home” he said and you hummed. “Okay. I will be waiting outside” you told him and looked at him with big eyes when he laid his hand on your cheek for a second. “Thank you” he told you quietly and made his way inside while you found Isa and some others to talk to.

When he stepped out of the building again, he was instantly by your side again and took your hand with a pleading look on his face. He wanted to go home. You were quick in saying goodbye to everyone just like he did and as you walked back to his place, he didn’t say another word. He simply pushed his bag in the corner of the hallway and dropped down on the couch with his hand covering his face. With silent steps you walked up behind him and carefully laid your hands on his shoulders. “You get another chance. Don’t worry” you whispered and watched how he lifted his hand and placed it over yours. “It was just too good to be true” he said and looked up to you again. “Please come here” he whispered and carefully pulled at your hand before you sat down next to him.

You were watching his face slowly and could tell how the anger disappeared and how the sadness took over slowly. “I should take a shower” he said quietly and you hummed while he played with your fingers. “I will cook something in the meantime if you want” you told him and he nodded. “I wouldn’t mind that” he whispered and carefully leaned forward to press a kiss to your lips. “Thank you” he whispered again and slowly got up while pushing his hair back. “I will be quick” he rambled and slowly walked out of the room while you sighed.

As you were looking for something in the fridge, he took the quick shower serious and before you knew it, he was back in the room and slowly walked up behind you. “Can I help you?” he asked and you shook your head. “You don’t need to. All good. If you want you can cut the peppers but you don’t need to” you told him and before you could finish the sentence, he started to cut them next to you.

Once you had everything in the oven, you turned to him again and took the hand that he held out for you. “Please come here” he whispered and leaned his head on top of yours when you were close enough. “Are you mad at me?” he asked out of the blue and you frowned slightly. “Mad? Why should I be mad? Are you serious?” you asked back and he sighed. “I don’t know. I just. Yeah I don’t know” he whispered and you slowly pulled him back to the couch. “I don’t have a reason to be mad. This wasn’t your fault. You have the right to be angry. And sad. I get it. Please don’t worry about it” you told him and traced along his cheek. “I just want to make it better” you added and watched how he closed his eyes. “I know. You are the only one who can do it” he said and leaned his head against your shoulder, wanting to be as close as possible.

After dinner you were sitting on the couch again but this time, Charles had his head in your lap while his eyes were closed. You were carefully playing with his hair. All of his emotions were mixed with exhaustion and you slowly tapped on his cheek. “I think we should go to bed” you whispered and Charles slowly turned on his back to look up to you. “Yeah maybe we should” he whispered back and sat up again before grabbing your hand and slowly pulling you with him.