Falling Leaves Like Glitter

Water color birb.

Touch up with pen and acrylic.

First day in over a month where I haven't counted the seconds till I could take more pain meds. Worried I might have over done it .

Not because of doctors. No.

Because an ai chat figured out what was causing my pain and suggested ways to relieve it. Ai. Chat gpt.

My heartbeats take forever. I tell myself I can make it just one more. Another.

Reality isn't important and I've no idea what's going on.

Somehow I'm crying and suddenly everyone needs something right now.

Breathing had to be done manually. Or else I'll hyperventilate. Or forget.

The lidocaine patches and Diclofenac and asper creme with vics didn't do anything for really deep staby pain.

It's wonderful on the closer to the surface stuff.

Work in progress. Sea turtle

So now I spend all day calculating. When is the right time to take another.

Bed time would be ideal. Sleep is its own medicine. But I doubt I'll make it that far.

Migraine, my spine is on fire. Hips and feet and wrists hurt.

It's been a bad week.

Lots of dr's I have to advocate for myself at.

Lots of painful tests.

Everyday a high pain day.

I'm at the point where I hope I'm not overdosing on pain pills. But I'm also waiting too long to take the pain pills.

And somehow I'm still at work. Still 'functioning' I guess.

Everyone says "oh you'll be ok. You can do it"

Whale mixed media in progress.

I want to clean and reorganize my house.... Have hobbies.

Relationships with friends.....

Like I get a panic attack at the grocery store.