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“You will get to know me better; there are still a number of horrible recesses in me that you don’t know.”

— Franz Kafka, from Letters To Felice

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When I was 16, I went to the doctor for widespread, full body pain. My doctor took one look at me and dismissed my medical concerns as a purely hormonal issue. According to her, my natural, unshaven legs were "abnormally hairy" for a girl my age. She ignored everything I had to say and referred me to a gynecologist.

Just hours later, I was hospitalized for my pain, which was now accompanied by a fever and a heart rate of 160 BPM. I was confused and disoriented, and every blood test pointed towards high levels of inflammation. The doctors, in their report, attributed my symptoms to sepsis.

That wasn't my first time experiencing transphobia in American healthcare hell, but it is by far the most obvious example. My doctor didn't care that I was in pain. She only cared that I, a nonbinary teenager with an F on their birth certificate, didn't meet her expectations of femininity.

This is why it pisses me off when people tell me I'm not really trans, or that I don't experience transphobia as a nonbinary person. I could have fucking died that day, purely because my doctor couldn't see past my nonbinary identity and gender expression.

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Credit: @unusual-suspects

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Joy Sullivan, from Instructions for Traveling West: Poems; “Of Wildflowers”

[Text ID: “When I was young, I heard / So much about being / a child/woman/man of God / but then I grew up and all / I ever wanted / was to be of wildflowers, / of willow, toad, and bone. / of swallowtails, sow thistle / and cedar, of birds.”]

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