im considering bursting into tears

Murder documentaries and naps.

Unless you hit me in the face with a brick that says “I’m flirting with you,” I’m most likely just gonna think you’re being nice.

This show hurts my brain

Can’t blame you, it’s like a shakespearian comedy about nothing, sped up, with the Middle English replaced by equally obfuscatory Albertan slang.

Excuse you that ain’t Albertan that’s the wrong coast. It’s Ontario slang.

DO YOU WANNA GET STRIKED

Having grown up in rural Ontario, Letterkennny is a documentary.

Squirrelly Dan is fucking right! Garlic and herb butter but I prefer a reverse sear where you do most of the cooking in the oven and then sear it up real nice in a pan with your herbs and butter n shit. Also white shirt with a cigarette is correct in that yeah you salt and pepper that shit what kinda fucking heathen wouldn’t

You’re A Sea Hair Away From Getting Sea Sucking SOCKED

fuck texting... fuck calling.... can i see u?

kiss me slowly

she needs a hug (i’m she)

I don't think we can 'lmao' our way out of this one, girls.

Buy her flowers and eat her pussy

Cute date idea: We binge watch a series all day, order takeout, cuddle & enjoy each other's company.