theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand

sometimes you gotta bite the bullet and put "text your friend whom you love and genuinely want to talk to" on your to-do list because otherwise it is not getting done

honestly so glad this one is gaining traction. just saw it in my notifications and went "MAN ALRIGHT" to text yet another person i have been genuinely wanting to text back for days

A PORN BOT UNFOLLOWED ME?

saying “LEAVE IT!!” to my intrusive thoughts like a dog that has something it shouldn’t have in it’s mouth

knock knock

who's there

deez

deez are the voyages of the starship enterprise