King Rene

Co-napping is a beautiful thing. Knock out with me so I know it’s real

my favorite date

This is funnier than anything shitpostbot could ever dream of.

Only 32 days until this joke expires. Reblog while you can.

Distant planet

This is what earth will look like in 200 years

ok but how is he doing that

he’s wearing false rubber thumbs with a touch-based LED in them! when he puts his index finger to his thumb, it turns the light on.

I just realized the doc is wearing a kippah…

He’s an orthodox jewish wizard dentist and his Instagram is full of tricks like this one that he does for his young patients to help them feel calm!

Ok butttt i was just as excited as the lil boy lol i was jumping and cheesing too lmao

calling the people at the party Bruce’s “fake friends” as if he’s Bruce’s only real friend and he’s low key jealous

Okay I absolutely love this comic but I gotta offer a correction because I got the chance to read this recently and the real context is even better: Clark and Bruce have never met at this point. Clark ended up on this yaught by accident and the people there just assumed he was Bruce Wayne making an entrance because none of them have ever met him. Clark isn’t even Superman at this point, he’s still just a twenty-something from kansas with super powers trying to figure his shit out, and he just stumbles into a billionaire’s yaught party and then foils an assassination attempt on accident. The best part is that Bruce finds out about this incident bc he obviously has surveilance on the parties he never attends and he’s just completely fucking baffled. I’m pretty sure this incident is why he knows Superman’s secret identity. What a fucking first impression. Absolutely legendary.

This extra context is amazing and makes everything all the more hilarious.

Why don’t we get more women written in the “lovable asshole” character type

because people call them “bitches”

I’m gonna be completely honest, I actually had no idea Alexa was supposed to be a robot and I just assumed the joke was that someone had an assistant who followed them around and played the songs they wanted on command

She just had a phone and speakers and would just play Despacito bass boosted in an McDonald’s parking lot because you asked

Concept: one of those cliché angel/demon romances, except the demon is the stuffy, orthodox one and the angel is like “hold my beer”.

#demon: youre SUPPOSED to be a background influence!! no one is supposed to see you!!! youre not supposed to leave any sign of ur presence!#angel *sneezes and twenty feathers drift to the ground*: lmao im gonna cure this chicks blindness and make that guy rethink his life choices (via @andsotheuniverseended)

demon: *sits there drawing up a long contract for a lawyer’s human soul, working out the loopholes because lawyers are sneaky* angel: i think that dude is on lsd lmao i’m gonna go talk to him in my true form demon: don’t you have burning wings and a thousand eyes or something angel: haha ye deom: *long sigh*

reblog if u a lil ugly

Gah damn

She just as happy her daddy made her day.

So cute😊

That’s beautiful !

I could watch this a million times. the genuine happiness that gave her cured my depression 💜💜

ummm country roads?? take me home????

to the place??? i belong????