memes under the old cedar bridge

Sometimes you get a brief glimpse into the American worldview and decide that you don't want to know.

I cannot stress enough that this meme is entirely literal. there's no reference or subtext you don't know. these are simply the objectively most popular works of art from each denomination.

in this world you're either a breadstick or the bread's dick

venus planet of love was destroyed by global warming and me i feel also not so good

We go through a lot of pickles here and this recipe is a good way to use leftover brine.

i was abandoned as a baby & raised by a wild pack of cigarettes

Stone faced and barely moving in the club.

Not that I think all marriages are doomed but when deciding who to marry you should ask yourself “is this someone I’d want to divorce?” As in, is this someone I believe would be mature and fair, even when they’re upset and don’t particularly like me at the moment. Is this someone I could continue to trust while going through an adversarial process? And if the answer is no, don’t marry them.

getting a jobjob from a water cooler with big pronouns

👎

i had a twisted dream this morning when my alarm tried to wake me up where jeff goldblum said 'Actually if you sleep a bit Longer you'll have More time to get ready It's called the Goldblum's Law and it works just go back to sleep' and i believed him and i overslept

hey boss sorry im late. i got Goldblumed

a fish walks into a bar

the bartender says

how the hell are you doing that