The Layman's Guide to Beer

Brewery : New Belgium / Ben & Jerry’s Beer : Salted Caramel Brownie Brown Ale Style : Brown Ale / American Brown Ale Variance : Brewed with Cocoa and Vanilla Powder

8 / 10

There’s nothing better than beer being drank for a good cause. These two powerhouses brewed this beer to help Protect Our Winters combat climate change. For those of you who don’t know what climate change is, you are probably republican so let me explain (I still love you all I promise). Climate change is when you have a bunch of old men in congress who bring snowballs in as a fucking show and tell items and try and say that super cold winters dispel global warming. Those people are also fucking idiots but once the world heats up a few more degrees and we’re all living on rafts, I’ll be sure to grab one of these and float around on a tube like I’m in the world’s largest lazy river. I got a little off track there, sorry. Anyways, this is a pretty delicious beer from New Belgium and my only real knock on this brew is that the ice cream created in collaboration definitely edges this one out on the scrumptious-ness. It starts with a a chocolaty borderline coffee bitterness before a nice vanilla sweetness joins in towards the middle before just mellowing and leaving you with a nice dessert like finish. I’m glad I got my hands on this because it really is an interesting take on a style that so many breweries either under flavor or downright abuse like Heath Ledger’s blood stream after a long night with a bag of pills. This is a good pickup for the craft aficionados and fans of the style and as for the newbies, this is a great way to get into better beer and also support a great cause at the same time. Cheers!

What is “bad beer”? It’s not just beer you don’t personally like. It’s..

Battle is (reportedly) “amazingly finicky on stupid things that don’t really achieve any government purpose. He’s implementing rules that are totally antiquated.”

Battle has rejected a beer label for the King of Hearts, which had a playing card image on it, because the heart implied that the beer would have a health benefit.

He rejected a beer called Pickled Santa because Santa’s eyes were too “googly” on the label, and labels cannot advertise the physical effects of alcohol. (A less googly-eyed Santa was later approved.)

He rejected a beer called Bad Elf because it featured an “Elf Warning,” suggesting that elves not operate toy-making machinery while drinking the ale. The label was not approved on the grounds that the warning was confusing to consumers.

He rejected a Danish beer label that featured a hamburger, which was turned down because the image implied there was a meat additive in the beer.

He rejected a beer that was marketed as an “India Dark Ale,” because it implied the beer was made in India (even though the label had a line with the words “Product of Denmark”).

He rejected a beer that called itself a “heart-warming ale,” because this supposedly involved a medical claim.

He also might reject your label if you address him as "Mr. Martin” instead of “Battle.”

The Ultimate Brewery Road Trip, Routed Algorithmically