pick me up with golden hand

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And then Bailey told her that it was her house too, his gaze meeting hers head on, even as he stared at her over his shoulder. She supposed it was technically true – she'd be marrying Gavin soon, after all, and his name was on the deed just as much as Bailey’s was. It was their family home, and soon she’d be family too. That’s what he’d meant, right? She knew that wasn’t the case at all, but it was easier to lie to herself than address the truth of the situation, and the fact that the softness of his tone was causing her nervous system to breakdown. 

“Oh, yeah. I mean... Duh, I’m sure you’re super busy,” Daisy blushed, feeling more foolish with each passing second. Even from a distance, she knew how hard Bailey worked. He always seemed to have his head stuck in a pile of paperwork. Gavin always said it was why he never had time to stop by and hang out with them, or go out for dinner, but Daisy had always wondered if Bailey was just avoiding her outright. It was such a conceited thought that she hated herself the minute it sprung to mind, but she couldn’t help it. 

Awkwardly hovering in the entryway, she hopped from one foot to the other, wondering if she should say anything else. Bailey had as good as dismissed her already, and now he was doing it for the second time. She should just take the hint, leave him alone and just be grateful he wasn’t kicking her out into the snow and expecting her to fend for herself over the weekend. But Daisy had never been very good at leaving well alone, not where Bailey was concerned. 

“Okay, well... If you get bored, or you wanna join me, Ziggy and I will be holding a Meg Ryan Marathon in the living room, starting with When Harry Met Sally and ending with Anastasia. It’s a weekend-long commitment, so you’re welcome to join any time,” she told him, forcing a bright smile onto her face. 

She wasn’t sure why she was extending the invitation to Bailey. The last thing either of them needed was to be awkwardly situated on opposite ends of the sofa while they watched some of the greatest romance movies of all time, uncomfortably ignoring the elephant in the room while Daisy openly sobbed into Ziggy’s stomach. It didn’t help that Ziggy also happened to be the tiny, adorable penguin plush that she’d had since she was nine, when Bailey had heroically won it for her at a local funfair. Even since their breakup, Ziggy hardly ever left her side. She had a bunch of goofy little hats and outfit for him that her mom had crocheted, and he was currently perched on the passenger seat of her car, alongside her sparse luggage, wearing a unicorn headband to match her dorky pyjamas. 

“Anyway! I’m sure that sounds totally boring and stupid, so...” Daisy trailed off, finally at a loss. This was going to be a long weekend for both of them. 

Closing the door behind him and wiping his hands on his jeans, he nodded again.

“Yeah, I have a bunch of depositions to read for the law office, so you probably won’t see much of me.” He didn’t know if he was telling her to reassure her or otherwise, but his voice was firm, a promise. Besides, he wasn’t sure if Gavin even knew she was here and could only imagine his brother would have something to say if he caught wind of them being in the house together, Bailey sending wistful glances at his brother’s fiancée from the other side of the living room.

Just as he was about to climb upstairs and retreat into his study - not to go over depositions, but probably lie on the floor and try not to die - Daisy said a name that sent him hurtling back over ten years to a funfair on the pier. His hand gripped the banister and he peered at Daisy curiously, his surprise plain to see.

“You brought Ziggy?” he asked, voice cracking a little on the penguin’s name from pure shock alone. He was so taken aback by the mention of the toy he forgot to feel embarrassed.

He’d thought the penguin would be long gone by now, maybe buried underneath the rest of Daisy’s childhood memorabilia in the Priors’ garage or, if he wanted to think the worst, rubbing shoulders with landfill somewhere. He hadn’t expected her to keep him, although he supposed the longevity of a toy she’d been clamouring for for weeks before he’d won him for her stretched way beyond their break-up. Ziggy had practically been there since the beginning, when Bailey didn’t really know what love was but knew he’d do anything to knock every last coconut off their stands at the games stall. He’d wound his shoulder up every time and eventually won, even if his dad had scolded him for overdoing it with his throwing arm. That was back when he’d still cared about baseball, although he’d cared about making Daisy smile more.

His heart twisted when he thought back to the way Ziggy had become their summer mascot. Jackie had crocheted him a ton of outfits, Bailey had come up with a voice for him and the tiny penguin had had more careers and hobbies than Barbie. He was just kind of talented like that.

Despite himself, Bailey found himself smiling. He might even have called his expression fond.

“I didn’t know you still kept him around. Makes sense though. He loves Anastasia.” When they were younger and had sat side by side on the sofa together, Bailey had even made a show of making Ziggy cover his eyes with his wings during the Rasputin scenes.

Gently smacking the flat of his hand against the banister as he deliberated over what to do, he reminded himself to be sensible.

“You two have fun,” he told Daisy.

A moment’s pause. And then, because he was a glutton for punishment: “Maybe let me know if Sleepless in Seattle is on the schedule.”

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The two of them let Gavin’s absence hang awkwardly between them, both opting to move the conversation along. Unfortunately for Daisy, the topic only soured her mood further as she thought of her mom, missing from her future wedding and missing from her life entirely. Was that going to become a running theme in Daisy’s life? The loss of someone in her life, like a hole had been carved into her chest. There would never be an appropriate time to admit it, but losing Bailey had wrecked her in ways that she believed she’d never come back from. It had been so fresh after his mom had passed, the wound ripped anew for both of them with the fallout of their breakup, and the weeks and months that had followed had been so raw and unmanageable for Daisy. If she hadn’t had her mom and Lois to turn to, she doubted she would’ve made it out with so few scars. 

“It’s not your fault, Bailey. Not everything’s your fault,” she noted with immediate regret. 

She frowned, a blush colouring her cheeks. She didn’t know why she’d said it. In truth, she’d been trying to politely reject his apologies – Daisy's mom might not have been talking to her, but at least she was okay. Bailey’s mom would never talk to him again, and she knew her problems must pale in comparison. But no matter how much time had passed, no matter how distant the two of them had grown, she knew that Bailey had a tendency to shoulder other people’s problems. He was always looking for a solution, always wanting to help. She knew he loved her mom almost as much as she and Colton did, and the feeling was mutual too. Jackie Prior would always claim she didn’t play favourites, but anybody with two working eyes could spot a mile off which Meadows brother she preferred. 

“I’ve tried. Maybe not hard enough, but... It doesn’t matter,” she sighed, not wanting to get into it further. 

This wasn’t Bailey’s fight, and she wasn’t about to unload all her problems on him. Gavin got so tired of her talking about her fight with her mom that she’d simply stopped bringing it up. He said that her moping was bringing the mood down, and that she needed to just accept that her mom was being a bitch. The way he’d talked about her mom had stung, and they’d fought about that too. It wouldn’t do anybody any good for Bailey to find out about that, either. 

She watched as he cleaned up the mess she made – wasn’t that just classic Bailey? – and pondered over his words. It wasn’t like she was jealous, or whatever. He couldn’t be dating Sally and Lydia – at least, she didn’t think so. And even if he was, it was none of her business. Only, there’d been a time when Lydia was her friend too. The three of them had been practically inseparable growing up, with Colton, Lois and Gavin at their side too. They were a rag-tag bunch, and her childhood had been fuller because of them. In losing Bailey, she’d lost Lydia too. 

“Right...” she nodded, eyes trailing after him as she stayed rooted to the spot.  

There was nothing she could say about Lydia or Sally, not without sounding like a bitter, jealous ex. But even though the thought of a nice, relaxing bath called to her, she felt admonished suddenly. As though Bailey was trying with all his might to get rid of her and send her on her way. He was too polite to be so blunt, but she couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to shrug her off. 

“If you want me to leave, you can just say that, ya know? You don't have to pretend. This is your house, not mine,” she blurted out. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach at being so abrupt with him, but she wouldn’t force herself to stay somewhere she wasn’t wanted. 

Bailey lifted his head, staring at Daisy with doubt clear across his face. He knew it must be annoying, to know someone so fucking committed to martyrdom, but he’d never been able to help himself. He’d been the oldest when they were growing up, the one that Daisy and Gavin and Colton looked up to. He had to set a good example for them, so surely that stretched to making sure they were looked after. When things started going wrong, how was he not meant to blame himself for not being able to fix it?

He was sure that, if he really thought about it, he might even be able to blame himself for Daisy and Jackie not being on speaking terms. If he hadn’t let his grief get the better of him, then he wouldn’t have pushed Daisy away. Maybe they'd still be together and she wouldn’t be in the position she was in right now. He reminded himself to keep his ego in check. Daisy wasn’t stuck anywhere. She was with Gavin - engaged to Gavin - because she wanted to be.

“It doesn’t matter?” he echoed her words back to her with a frown. “Daisy, she’s your mom. Of course it matters.”

He winced, immediately regreeting his own indignation. Since his mom’s death, he’d vowed to never play the ‘dead parent’ card, still grossed out by watching Gavin do it every time he needed a convenient ‘get out of jail free’ card. He didn’t want to guilt Daisy into talking to her mom, but it was Jackie.

“I mean…” He dropped his volume, voice softer. “She’ll want to talk to you. Of course she will.”

He kept his head down as he swept the shards of broken gnome into the dustpan, glad that he had a task to keep himself occupied with while Daisy did whatever she needed to do. He’d thought she’d already disappeared upstairs and into the bathroom when he heard her speak again.

This time, he didn’t turn around immediately. His hands stilled mid-sweep and he stared down at the broken porcelain littering the doorway. Slowly, he straightened up, trying his best to inhale deeply without the movement of his shoulders betraying him. Then, he looked behind him at Daisy.

“It’s always been your house, Daisy,” he told her, barely a whisper.

He probably hadn’t said the right thing. Had she said that so he would turn around and quickly reassure her that he’d be happy for her to stay? He wasn’t sure he could stomach the lie. Spending the weekend here with Daisy, alone, would be nothing short of torture, even if he would never admit it aloud. He didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but ever since she and Gavin had announced their relationship, Bailey had tried the best he could to stay out of their way. He knew he had to grin and bear it, fully aware that for the rest of his life he’d have to exchange simple pleasantries with the girl he was in love with while she stared at his brother like he’d hung the moon. The idea of doing that for one whole undiluted holiday weekend would be like letting every broken shard of Mr Gnome pierce his skin.

The moment he looked at her though, he couldn’t tell her to go.

“You can stay as long as you want,” he said brusquely, quickly looking down. He swept the rest of the shards into the dustpan and headed for the kitchen to dump them in the trash can.

“I’ll be in the study anyway. You won’t see much of me,” he promised her.

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