my whole life was measured in summers

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“Wait. No, no, no, no, no!”

Of course, his protestations were all for nothing as his cheek suddenly became coating in jam and frosting. His shoulders slumped in defeat and he let out a dramatically tired sigh.

There they stood, in the middle of a wedding fayre, both of their faces covered in cake.

"Sorry. I'm sorry!" She grinned, feeling like a naughty child.

She'd missed this with Bailey, the simplicity of their friendship, the easy way that the two of them could goof around and laugh with each other. It was one of the reasons it had been so easy to fall for him to begin with.

He reached for the cake at the exact moment Daisy did, flinching as soon as their fingers touched. His eyes widened and he yanked his hand back, accidentally landing it in the spongey vanilla cake.

“Oh, jeeze,” he muttered, lifting his frosting covered hand.

It was, of course, nowhere near as sexy as the finger.

"Wait, what?" Daisy gasped, eyes widening as he swiped a dollop of frosting across her nose.

Her jaw dropped in surprise and she scoffed, hardly able to believe her eyes. Then, glancing around her, she spotted the Victoria sponge she'd been eyeing up. Without thinking, she dragged her finger along the jammy centre, and promptly splatted it across Bailey's cheek.

Bailey brought his finger to his lips, tongue darting out to lick at the frosting. Oh. It was good. He let out a soft noise of approval and sucked his finger into his mouth, eyes flicking up to find Daisy still watching him intently. Or rather, his mouth.

A rush of heat went through him and he brought his finger out his mouth with a wet pop.

"Um. Good, yeah. Great," she whispered, the low hum of his voice sending shockwaves through her body.

It was because Gavin was away. That had to be it, didn't it? He was away and so they hadn't had sex in weeks. That was the only explanation for the hot flushes she was suddenly having.

“I’m not saying anything,” he swore. He immediately covered his face with his hands, sighing and scrubbing his palms over his cheeks. It was slightly less awkward if they acknowledged the awkwardness… right?

"Ooh, he's a professional. A regular connoisseur," she giggled, acutely aware that they were both as rosy cheeked as one another.

She tried not to look, suddenly hyper aware of how ridiculous and sexy she'd seemingly been when taking a taste of her own. Daisy couldn't figure out if she was staring too much or not enough. She wanted to be casual and totally chill, but the moment she saw Bailey lift his finger to his lips, she felt her ears burn and her stomach flip.

No, the shock on his face could be attributed to the fact that he was pretty sure she was offering him the frosting.

Immediately, she withdrew her hand, and unthinkingly popped the finger into her own mouth instead. She thought that was the safe and sensible thing to do, in the face of Bailey's outrageously handsome and stupidly charming smile. Instead, she feared she might have made matters worse as, this time around, she couldn't quite control the moan that left her. It had not once, not even remotely, dawned on her how sensual the sucking of a finger might be. Which, on hindsight, was completely ridiculous of her.

Glancing around them, he spotted an empty standing table and immediately grabbed several plates of cake, balancing some on his forearms, a skill he’d learned from his job at the country club way back when.

Doing as she was told, she gathered extra plates and started procuring all the flavours Bailey had missed out on. She snuck a glance over her shoulder as he found them an empty corner, before swiping a finger through the pistachio frosting on one particular slice. She practically had to bite down on a moan at just how heavenly it tasted, a mischevous giggle catching in her throat as she started picturing the look Bailey would be wearing once he knew she'd gotten a head start without him.

When she mentioned the cake, he grasped at the olive branch.

“This. Is. Heaven.” Daisy squealed, gazing adoringly at the variety that was laid out in front of them.

Shooting him a glance, she mused.

Then Daisy would be looking down the barrel of a wedding she hadn’t had any hand in planning. And Bailey knew just how much Daisy had wanted a wedding, thinking back to when she and Lois would rope the boys into playing out their own make-believe wedding at the Hamptons when they were kids.

He chewed on his bottom lip, finally meeting Daisy’s eye.

“Okay. I will,” she told him, though not confidently.

She looked around them, well aware they’d wasted their trip on a half eaten cocktail stick of tuna tartare and a heart-to-heart they could’ve had back at Bailey’s. She groaned, feeling stupid but ultimately wanting to change the subject. The less questions Bailey asked, the less prodding for her to stand up for herself, the better.

She felt the distance between them in the same way you’d feel a lost limb. A gaping chasm stood between them now, but she knew it wasn’t meant to feel that way. Not anymore, not with Bailey.

“Do you think…” she paused, contemplating. “Are you sure he won’t be, I don’t know, hurt? That I spoke to you about it, that you told me first…”

"I don't need to tell him?"

“I don’t want you to feel pressured into something that might hurt you both even more in the long run,” Daisy offered.

He knew it was unfair and it was his own private shame, for Bailey to want to look back on the memories of his mom and remember her the way he had always seen her in life: perfect and without any flaws. Sure, everyone had flaws, but Bailey had never been able to spot them in his mom. Until she had stayed and let his dad do that to her.

"I just can't wrap my head around it. I know it's unfair to like, judge her. But she deserved so much better and..."

He felt tears burn the backs of his eyes and he realised there was more to his confession. Things he hadn't even admitted to herself.

"It's not that easy, Bailey. Sometimes... Even the strongest, bravest women don't know how to leave," she murmured, though there was little fight left in her.

She felt anxious and her fear was etched plain across her features. Sometimes Daisy wondered if she should tell Bailey, if she should confide in him over Gavin's indescretions and talk to him as a friend. To ask his advice. But she knew now that she couldn't, that he'd only judge and look down on her too.

"I don't know if i believe you on that front," he said, smiling sadly.

He sighed and eventually stepped away from Daisy, trying to collect himself. And he couldn't do that if she was still touching him.

She felt the distance between them in the same way you’d feel a lost limb. A gaping chasm stood between them now, but she knew it wasn’t meant to feel that way. Not anymore, not with Bailey.

“Do you think…” she paused, contemplating. “Are you sure he won’t be, I don’t know, hurt? That I spoke to you about it, that you told me first…”

He knew it was unfair and it was his own private shame, for Bailey to want to look back on the memories of his mom and remember her the way he had always seen her in life: perfect and without any flaws. Sure, everyone had flaws, but Bailey had never been able to spot them in his mom. Until she had stayed and let his dad do that to her.

"I just can't wrap my head around it. I know it's unfair to like, judge her. But she deserved so much better and..."

He felt tears burn the backs of his eyes and he realised there was more to his confession. Things he hadn't even admitted to herself.

"It's not that easy, Bailey. Sometimes... Even the strongest, bravest women don't know how to leave," she murmured, though there was little fight left in her.

She felt anxious and her fear was etched plain across her features. Sometimes Daisy wondered if she should tell Bailey, if she should confide in him over Gavin's indescretions and talk to him as a friend. To ask his advice. But she knew now that she couldn't, that he'd only judge and look down on her too.

He wasn’t sure that he liked Daisy’s reasoning for his mom’s silence. It went against everything that his mom and Daisy stood for. It left a bad taste in Bailey’s mouth and he was shaking his head before she’d even finished talking.

"Sometimes it's easier to stay," she started, her words slow and considered. Her body ached. "The begging and the tears, the apologies and the... It's all so..."

Daisy squeezed her eyes shut, resting her head against his shoulder again. It was easier if he couldn't see her, if Bailey couldn't recognise the distraught look on her face that he knew so well.

“We argued about it a lot,” he whispered. “I couldn’t see how she could go back to him after he did something like that. How she could just forget about it. I was so mad at her.”

It wasn’t a question. Daisy’s voice broke around the words, the realisation hitting her square in the chest. Maybe she and Bailey’s mom were more alike than she had ever realised. She wondered what her own mom thought, or if she even knew.

“Sometimes… I think, maybe, sometimes people go back because… They think it’s the easy route. That they don’t deserve to fight and be fought for,” Daisy reasoned, though her heart wasn’t in it.

There was far too much truth to what she was saying, and she wasn’t quite ready to reckon with it.

“What do you…”

But she was already buzzing on with more questions and there was only one that he could give a real answer to. And it certainly wasn’t the one where he could attempt to fathom how his dad could’ve done such a thing.

“A few years.” He immediately winced.

Her heart broke for him when he admitted why he hadn’t told Gavin. He’d been doing everything in his power to protect his brother, but who was protecting him? Bailey had lost his mom, his dad, and Daisy too. His earlier words caught up to her now, a whole new meaning slotting into place.

“Oh, honey. I’m so sorry,” she breathed, unable to help herself. She pushed onto her tiptoes and wrapped her free arm around his shoulders. Her tiny frame was no match to his much taller, more athletic body, but she held him as best she could.

Then, her hand was on his face and, weak to the bone, he felt his resolve crumble. His eyes fluttered shut and for one selfish moment, he leaned into her touch.

“He cheated on her.”

Time stood still with his admission, and Daisy felt her whole world crash down around her.

“What? How did you kno–” She stopped, immediately wishing she could chase the words back in. He hadn’t meant Gavin, but his father. He cheated on her. Her. Their mom.

Her heart sank in his chest, and her thumb swiped along the faint stubble along Bailey’s cheek as she pressed closer to him. He’d held onto this secret to protect Gavin, and yet he had no idea just how similar Gav and their father really were.