I Dunno

I've been wanting to rewatch season 1 of the Pitt, because in between the airing of seasons 1 and 2, I had a really terrible, days long PTSD flashback while working a stressful job that doesn't give me a second to rest (daycare teacher.) I think I'll understand Robby more given this as a frame of reference. I wasn't my best self those few days. I couldn't be. I was short with people and cried in the bathroom a lot, but I made it through because I had to. The world is flickering in between times? Yeah, I just kind of had to let that happen while I changed 15 diapers in the dark of my classroom. That feeling of "I know where I'm supposed to think I am right now, but my gut says Santa Fe, 2020" made me feel like I was losing my mind.

(Tangent, but it was hard for people around me, which made it harder for me. I got a lot of "What am I supposed to do?" which was unhelpful. It's complicated. I can't expect people to know how to handle a very delicate situation, but that frustration aimed at me was very hurtful.)

Anyway, maybe I'll update when I get around to* watching season 1 (*think I'm in a stable enough place to). I just think, from my memory of it and my own experiences, it will be kind of raw and beautiful. I related to Robby way, way too hard during season 2, which had me feeling kind of terrible? but also seen at the same time, seen with compassion.