Faith, Hope, Trust and a Little Bit Of Pixie Dust

A Practical Guide to Homeopathy

Lesson Two: Healing with Aromatherapy

WARNING Diffusing essential oils can be toxic to your pets. Please do extensive research on which types of oils are not harmful to your pets.

Among our senses, one of the most-looked over and powerful is our sense of smell. Aromas can help us recall happy memories - baking cookies with loved ones during the holiday season, the perfume or cologne of a loved one - as well as unpleasant memories. Through psychology, we’ve proven that, when recreating a scene, scents can be our most powerful allies in recalling past events in our lives.

Aromatherapy is the art of using scents to heal the body, mind and soul. We use scents in healing rituals, magic and spirituality frequently - it even manifests in religious practices such as Christianity when a pastor cleanses a space with incense.

Scents and Sensibility

Working with essential oils is really quite easy, but here are some precautions to take.

Dilute

It’s important to dilute your essential oils in a carrier oil before using them therapeutically. You should rarely apply an undiluted essential oil to your skin.

By diluting your essential oils in a carrier oil, you get a lot more use out of them and you also prevent skin irritations. Some common types of carrier oils are grapeseed, olive, flaxseed, almond and sesame oil. Use 30mL (2 tbsp) of carrier oil per 5-10 drops of essential oil.

Storage

Essential oils need to be kept away from light and air. It’s best to store them in dark-tinted bottles to prevent light penetration. With proper storage, most essential oils can last 1-2 years. However, citrus oils should not be used after 6-9 months.

Allergies

Before working with essential oils, be sure to do a skin allergy test. Many people have sensitive skin and it’s important to take precautions and avoid allergic reactions to both essential oils and carrier oils.

To test for allergies, simply place a drop of your chosen carrier oil on your skin. Check and see if there is a reaction over the course of 12 hours. Place one drop of essential oil in 15 drops of carrier oil and apply to your chest. Check and see if there is a reaction over the course of 12 hours. If there is no reaction, then you likely have no allergy to the plant or the oil.

Precautions

Please avoid essential oils if you are pregnant or breastfeeding. Specifically, avoid: cardamom, coriander, geranium, ginger, grapefruit, lavender, lemon, lemon balm, lemongrass, lime, mandarin, neroli, palmarosa, petitgrain, spearmint and ylang-ylang.

If you have sensitive or dry skin, it is best to avoid the following essential oils: black pepper, cinnamon, clove, grapefruit, lemon, lemon balm, lemongrass, lime, mandarin, orange, peppermint and spearmint. 

Healing with Essential Oils

When starting out with using essential oils for health purposes, it’s important to address one symptom or issue at a time. Limit your selection to a few different oils until you become more familiar with your tools. Once you get comfortable, start experimenting with making your own blends. As time goes by, you’ll see what works best for your body and you!

Stress

Stress often has the side effects of anxiety, upset stomach, heart palpitations and rapid breathing. One of the most common essential oils used to alleviate stress is peppermint - it relaxes the mind and body. Lavender is another good choice as it relaxes muscles and the vapors help regulate breathing.

Pain and Muscle Tension

Muscle tension and pain are something most of us are familiar with. When using essential oils to address this particular issue, it’s best to create a massage oil to rub the affected area. If you’re trying to relax muscles and ease pain, allspice and geranium are great choices.

Chest Congestion

Flus, colds, respiratory illnesses - we’re no stranger to those during the winter months. To use essential oils to treat this, apply a few drops of diluted oil across the chest and massage into the skin. I tend to use eucalyptus, but thyme is another great choice!

Concentration and Focus

Everyone experiences difficulties with focus and concentration; stress, lack of sleep, anxiety and depression are just a few possible culprits. To use essential oils for this, apply a few drops to the temples, middle of the forehead and the base of the neck. Rosemary and spearmint are great choices for this as they help you relax while improving mental clarity.

Fatigue

At the end of the day, many of us feel exhausted from school, work and just life in general. To help with this, place a few drops of essential oil on your wrists and rub them in. Citrus oils like lemon and lime work really well since they uplift mood, relieve fatigue and provide mental clarity and focus.

Insomnia

Sometimes we just can’t fall asleep. Place a few drops of essential oil on your forehead and at the base of your neck. Lemon balm and ylang-ylang are good choices for this as they promote restful sleep and reduce stress and anxiety.

Anxiety

This issue typically involves both the physical and mental parts of the body. To help alleviate anxiety, place a drop of essential oil on the forehead, base of the neck, wrists and along the collarbone or upper chest. Chamomile, lavender and lemon balm are excellent choices.

Recipes

Anxiety Relief 5 drops chamomile oil 5 drops lemongrass oil 2 tbsp carrier oil

Stress Relief 5 drops peppermint oil 5 drops lavender oil 2 tbsp carrier oil

Muscle-Tension Relief ½ tbsp ground allspice ½ tbsp ground nutmeg 5 drops geranium oil ½ cup carrier oil

Muscle Pain Relief ½ tsp cayenne pepper ½ tsp ground turmeric 5 drops rose oil 5 drops tea tree oil ½ cup carrier oil

Chest Congestion Relief 5 drops eucalyptus oil 5 drops pine oil 2 tbsp carrier oil

Mucus Killer 2 tbsp nettle leaves 5 drops frankincense oil 2 cups carrier oil

Focus and Concentration ½ tbsp ground myrrh 5 drops rosemary oil 2 cups carrier oil

Mental Strength and Clarity 1 tbsp dried rosemary 5 drops peppermint oil 5 drops spearmint oil 2 cups carrier oil

Energizer ½ tbsp dried juniper berries 5 drops thyme oil 2 cups carrier oil

Citrus Energy 5 drops lemon oil 5 drops lime oil 2 tbsp carrier oil

Sleep Easy 5 drops lemon balm oil 5 drops ylang-ylang oil 2 tbsp carrier oil

Digestion Relief ½ tbsp dried catnip 5 drops ginger oil 5 drops spearmint oil 2 cups carrier oil

Common Essential Oils for Health and Wellness

Allspice: Reduces stress, calms, relaxes tight muscles, uplifts mood, improves digestion, natural disinfectant

Basil: Calms, relieves pain, relieves fatigue, improves mental clarity, purifies the body

Cardamom: Relieves pain, uplifts mood, improves digestion, improves mental clarity and memory

Catnip: Anti-diarrheal, relieves indigestion, relieves anxiety, uplifts mood

Chamomile: Reduces anxiety, promotes restful sleep and relaxation, relieves pain

Cinnamon: Relieves pain, uplifts mood, relieves fatigue, natural disinfectant, improves digestion, increases appetite

Clove: Relieves pain, uplifts mood, improves mental clarity, improves digestion, natural disinfectant

Coriander: Relieves pain, relieves fatigue, improves digestion, improves mental clarity and memory

Eucalyptus: Breaks up congestion, relieves pain, natural disinfectant, vapors help with breathing (asthma)

Frankincense: Anti-inflammatory, antiseptic, astringent, diuretic, improves digestion, expectorant, sedative

Geranium: Relieves stress and tension, uplifts mood, anti-inflammatory, soothes itchy skin

Ginger: Relieves pain, uplifts mood, relieves fatigue, improves digestion, increases appetite

Juniper berries: Relieves pain, energizes, improves mental clarity and memory, anti-inflammatory, repels insects, soothes insect bites

Lavender: Relieves stress and anxiety, promotes restful sleep, uplifts mood, balances mood swings, vapors help with breathing, improves digestion, natural disinfectant, breaks up congestion

Lemon: Balances the nervous system, uplifts mood, relieves fatigue, improves mental clarity and memory, natural disinfectant

Lemon balm: Relieves anxiety and stress, promotes restful sleep

Lemongrass: Calms, balances nervous system, uplifts mood, anti-inflammatory, vapors help with breathing, improves digestion, natural disinfectant, repels insects

Lime: Relieves fatigue, uplifts mood, natural disinfectant, improves mental clarity and memory

Mandarin: Reduces stress and tension, calms, uplifts mood

Myrrh: Helpful in meditation, uplifts mood, anti-inflammatory, aids in healing skin

Neroli and Orange blossom: Removes nervous tension, promotes restful sleep

Nutmeg: Relaxes tight muscles, relieves pain, improves digestion

Palmarosa: Relaxes tight muscles, relieves pain, uplifts mood, helps regenerate skin, anti-inflammatory

Peppermint: Relieves pain, uplifts mood, relieves fatigue, breaks up congestion, anti-inflammatory, vapors help with breathing, improves digestion, increases appetite, soothes itchy skin, improves mental clarity and memory

Petitgrain: Reduces anxiety and stress, promotes restful sleep, uplifts mood, improves mental clarity and memory

Pine: Lessens pain, uplifts mood, relieves fatigue, breaks up congestion, natural disinfectant, improves mental clarity and memory

Rose: Relieves pain, uplifts mood, anti-inflammatory, aids in healing skin

Rosemary: Relieves pain, stimulates nerves, relieves fatigue, vapors help with breathing, improves digestion, improves mental clarity and memory, natural disinfectant, repels insects

Spearmint: Relieves pain, uplifts mood, relieves fatigue, breaks up congestion, anti-inflammatory, vapors help with breathing, improves digestion, improves appetite, improves mental clarity and memory, soothes itchy skin

Tea Tree: Relieves pain, natural disinfectant, aids in healing skin, vapors help with breathing

Thyme: Relaxes tight muscles, relieves pain, uplifts mood, breaks up congestion, anti-inflammatory, improves digestion, increases appetite, improves mental clarity and memory, natural disinfectant

Imbolc:

Lemon, Thyme, Rosemary, Dill, Fennel, Liquorice, Snowdrop, Dandelion, Mint.

Ostara:

Primrose, Rosemary, Daisy, Orange Peel, Basil, Garlic, Lavender, Mint.

Beltane:

Yellow/Orange Roses, Buttercup, Onion Salt, Bay Leaf, Oregano, Black Pepper.

Litha:

Pink /White Roses, Red Clover, Chili Powder, Chamomile, Cumin.

Lughnasadh:

Sunflower, Anise Seed, Cloves, Ginger, Mustard Seed, Turmeric, Blackberries, Sage.

Mabon:

Lavender, Maple Leaves, Pine Cones, Chamomile, Black Pepper, Cinnamon, Cloves, Nutmeg, Paprika, Sage.

Samhain:

Pine Needles, Blackberry Leaves, Fennel, Allspice, Red Roses, Jasmine, Nutmeg, Cloves.

Yule:

imbolc is right around the corner, and i couldn’t be more excited! imbolc is a sabbat that honors the coming of spring and the ending of winter! it’s usually around february 1st.

here are some ideas about how to celebrate!

•light candles to bring the sun into your home

•leave offerings for the goddess brigid

•leave a ribbon soaked with water in a tree branch as an invitation for brigid

•eat healthier and drink lots of water

•take a walk outside in nature

•charge your crystals

•cast spells, especially for new beginnings and prosperity

•plant bulbs, buy plants, or plan out your garden

•write down your wishes for summer on a piece of paper and bury it in the soil

•make crafts, like a brigid’s cross, a brigid’s bed, or sun catchers

•start a dream diary

•take a cleansing bath or shower

•take a moment to notice the moon

•do divination to learn about the coming spring and summer

•decorate your altar and home with things that remind you of spring and summer

•clean and organize your home

•cook with/for your friends and family

•go to a park, a body of water, a nature reserve, or any place in nature

•meditate

•draw a sun in the snow

•write in your grimoire about the sabbat and what it means for you

•reflect on your winter

•listen to or make a playlist that inspires you

•paint, write, and be creative

Colours: white, pink, red, yellow, orange, brown.

Plants & Herbs: angelica, basil, blackberry, clover, iris, rosemary.

Incense & Oils: vanilla, black cherry, dragon’s blood.

Crystals & Stones: amethyst, bloodstone, garnet.

Animals: bear, dragon, deer, eagle, robin, sheep.

Decorations: white flowers, marigolds, plum blossoms, daffodils, candles, grain/seed, red candle in a cauldron full of earth, doll, broom, milk, birchwood, snowflakes, snow in a crystal container,evergreens, orange candles. (source)

Meanings: First stirring of Mother Earth, lambing, the middle of winter. (source)

Customs: cleansing, purification, renewal, creative inspiration, purification, initiation, candle work, house & temple blessings, feast of milk & bread, lighting candles, seeking omens of Spring, storytelling, cleaning house, bonfires, indoor planting, stone collecting, candle kept burning dusk till dawn; hearth re-lighting. (source)

Element: Earth

You can find your moon sign here.

Tag the title it gives you. (:

Aries Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

Taurus Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

Gemini Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

Cancer Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

Leo Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

Virgo Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

Libra Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

Scorpio Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

Sagittarius Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

Capricorn Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

Aquarius Sun: Aries Moon Taurus Moon Gemini Moon Cancer Moon Leo Moon Virgo Moon Libra Moon Scorpio Moon Sagittarius Moon Capricorn Moon Aquarius Moon Pisces Moon

A little while back I hit 500 followers! I now have time to celebrate this. I am giving away a full 1 hour reading to one of my followers, a $40 value! Entering is really easy, this giveaway will end January 15th:

Must be following me! I will be checking

Likes and reblogs count as entries!

Enter as many times as you would like

Make sure you can accept messages from me! The reading will be done via messages here on Tumblr, and that is how I will contact the winner

Entries tagged giveaway will not count. Do not tag this as giveaway

That’s it! Good luck everyone 😃

A little while back I hit 500 followers! I now have time to celebrate this. I am giving away a full 1 hour reading to one of my followers, a $40 value! Entering is really easy, this giveaway will end January 15th:

Must be following me! I will be checking

Likes and reblogs count as entries!

Enter as many times as you would like

Make sure you can accept messages from me! The reading will be done via messages here on Tumblr, and that is how I will contact the winner

Entries tagged giveaway will not count. Do not tag this as giveaway

That’s it! Good luck everyone 😃

from here

to the moon

Some more shots of the Nefertiti figurine that I am selling! She was made by a company called Lenox as a part of an Ancient Egyptian collection that is no longer available. I found one on a replacement website for $150 (See screenshot!) Some of her accents are 24k gold and she is in mint like-new condition and she’s absolutely gorgeous!

I am asking $90 or best offer and am completely willing to negotiate. I actually hate to part with her, but times are tough right now and I really need some money for past due bills. DM me with serious inquiries only! Buyer will pay for shipping and we can discuss that as well. I will accept payment through Paypal!

She is perfect for altars! She stands a little over 8 inches. She gives off a very calming yet poweful feminine energy and when I held her, I felt such a boost in the feminine aspect of myself!

Been working on filling out my calendar this evening… Here are the important witchy dates for the coming year!

January 1st: Full Wolf Moon 17th: New Snow Moon 31st: Full Snow Moon (Blue Moon!)

February 1st: Imbolc 15th: New Worm Moon

March 1st: Full Worm Moon 17th: New Pink Moon 20th: Ostara 31st: Full Pink Moon (second Blue moon!!)

April 16th: New Flower Moon 29th: Full Flower Moon

May 1st: Beltane 15th: New Strawberry Moon 29th: Full Strawberry Moon

June 13th: New Buck Moon 21st: Litha 28th: Full Buck Moon

July 13th: New Sturgeon Moon 24th: Full Sturgeon Moon

August 1st: Lughnasadh 11th: New Corn Moon 26th: Full Corn Moon

September 9th: New Harvest Moon 23rd: Mabon 24th: Full Harvest Moon

October 9th: New Hunters Moon 24th: Full Hunters Moon

November 1st: Samhain 7th: New Beaver Moon 23rd: Full Beaver Moon

she cursed my great-grandfather, actually, who had spat on the hands of the ocean and disrespected the beating heart of the earth - for what else are waves but a pulse - who was silly and violent and who tried to rip from the water what was hers by rights. we were wealthy, before that, a family of merchants. my mother says in her youth she recalls white horses, the gleam of candles, early mornings with bread baked fresh by a horde of servants.

he didn’t ask permission to cross her. that’s what my mother tells me while she spoons porridge with no flavor into the wood of my bowl. he had no faith in superstition, rode with boats that were more decoration than strength, the folly of a man who was cruel and vain and proud of his own gold teeth. the sky had been blue, so regardless of what the village witch said, he would sail that day. and when his boat sank; their lives turned blue like the sky that day.

my mother says she thinks the curse on the men of our family, even if they come in when they marry, is that they will forever be violent, too foolish to see the storm on the horizon. she whispers this to me on the eve of my seventh birthday, while father is his own storm, thundering around the house, looking for her. later, when i am cleaning the cut by her cheek, she tells me the curse is on the women to forever be unhappy, to wane until they are shadows, to walk into the deep like a sinking ship. 

we don’t burn candles often, they are too expensive. she tells me this in the silk of a dark room. the moon kisses her hair. 

in three days, my mother will walk into the ocean, and my father will be my own problem. the curse will pass onto me. 

my father does not believe in superstition, no curse to conquer him. when he is gone, and i am heartbroken, i go to the village witch. i ask her to teach me about magic, and other things, and about how the ocean can be coaxed, and how to save my father’s soul. 

and my hands rot too, keeping a house by myself with things i barely knew. i learn the art of a good scrubbing, keep my mind full of white horses while i endlessly clean, dream of candles in dark while i make the bread that he will not allow me to eat. he keeps me from the ocean, from visiting the place that took my mom, from following in her footsteps where the water makes women undone.

i am sixteen when i see her in the water of a bowl. she scares me so completely that i drop it, and my father comes in with his hands, and the curse, and i almost forget all about it. it isn’t until after that i realize she is beautiful, and young, which surprises me. 

i think about it every evening. her face becomes distorted to me. i can no longer remember the exact shape of it, only the impression of beauty. 

i turn seventeen and wait for the high moon. i pin safety to my vest in little witch herbs and runes. i put naked toes on the sand and slip closer, closer, to the avenue of my family’s doom. i find a little private beach, small and surrounded by rocks, hidden from my father in the event he ever thought to come looking. at high tide, it is barely the span of my body. at low, it feels empty.

the witch of the land has given me what i need to call in the witch of the sea, but i do not use it. it feels wrong, somehow, standing here in the wind and the quiet pulse of the world. i put down the incense and sage and i sit just close enough it feels wild, dangerous - but not close enough to get caught up in thrill. 

when nothing happens, i go home and i make bread that i will not eat.

for months i do this. i climb down to my beach. i learn to do it when the moon is half, and then when the moon is empty. i learn to do it so well that sometimes i go to sleep in my own bed and wake up by the water. i take to sleeping with warding runes to keep me from being pulled in the rip out to the waiting hands of a hungry sea-witch.

i don’t know when i start talking. more often i sing, because singing in my house is not allowed, and something about the way the rocks echo my voice feels comforting. the older i get, the more i can pretend i hear my mother’s voice, answering me, harmonizing gently. i sing songs about sadness and lullabies about curses. when i have exhausted every song i know, i write new ones about fathers who have never learned how to be kind, about the house i work in but do not love, about mothers who left, and about a sea witch.

i see her sometimes. in a puddle, in the drop of rain, in the strangest places. i never expect it, although i always hope. i am never able to see her for more than the length of a wave, breaking, and each time, it does something new to my heart.

at eighteen i am too much of my father’s burden. he tries to unload me onto other men. the land witch helps me with this. i rub hemlock, burn wolfsbane. we arrange so these men have other women to marry. the news of my curse is bad enough to scare most away. my father is not happy.

after a particularly savage night, i wonder how bad it could be. i could marry some boy from the village who didn’t quite bother me. i suppose they’re not ugly. timothy had always been gentle to me. i think about a life, and how i am cursed to be unhappy. my father would finally be proud of me.

i walk to the beach and i tell the waves about him and how i could convince myself it was love if i just never wanted from him. how i could be okay, if not content, how i could be free, how i already had learned life down on knees.

but i go home and i write a rune of warding. and the years pass and i find reasons each suitor is wanting. and the sea witch i see, sometimes, peeking out at me, staying long each time in the water, looking, watching. i see her in mirrors when my father storms against me. it is bad because he mistakes the cause of my smiling. it is better when she is there the next morning.

and i go to the ocean. when i am too sad to speak, it seems like the ocean is whispering for me. i picture my mother’s voice and tell myself i am happy. i am seven again and we are sewing. i am seven again and the curse has not been given to me. i am seven and she came home after she walked to the sea.

i grow silly, brave, unthinking. i leave behind the herbs and i wade deep. i teach myself the art of swimming. i am bad at it, at first, but something about it feels good to me. like the ocean wants to buoy me. in the day i think of it, guilty. what if there was a rip tide, and the water took me? who would care for my father if i stepped off the beach into a long drop? wasn’t i clever enough to know that the ocean is uncaring?

it is not this that does it. i go out after a rain and i slip on the rocks and suddenly i am in water above my head but without the moon i cannot see the up of it. i kick and i thrash and the water surrounds me. the tide pulls on my body and in the cold i feel my body grow weary. water spills into me. it punches through my body, up my nose and into my lungs and some part of me knows this is what mother felt before she was gone.

i kick ground by accident, reorient, drag myself heaving and spitting into the air. i lie there for a long time, half in and half out of death, enjoying the sensation of breathing and of life.

when i look up, i think i see her, watching me, her brows knit with something like worry. but we make eye contact and my heart leaps and then she is gone and i am left alone with nothing but the dawn breaking.

my father is furious when there is no bread. he finds my hair wet, and the salt of the ocean still smelling on me. and that is it. that day he goes out and pays someone to agree to marry me.

this feels right to me, i think. i’m twenty-one, three times seven, a perfect number for a curse to fully come down on me. i will be wed in three weeks.

the land witch comes to visit me. she looks like she’s sorry for me. she gives me a spell and tells me to put it under my pillow; i’ll dream of love and it will soothe me. instead i dream of the seawitch, and how wonderful she is, and the sight of her, out on the water, worried.

even though it is risky, i go down to the beach. i do not bother with protective spells, i have already seen that the water can kill me. fear alone keeps me from wandering. i sit on the beach and in the sand i draw runes for understanding and i make the small magicks i’ve spent years learning and i close my eyes and i ask the ocean “why do you do this to me.”

i fall asleep. i dream that the sea witch talks to me. i dream she is my age, that she is the great-granddaughter of the first to curse my family. i dream she has spent years watching, learning, finding the truth of me. that she just needs to get the courage to come and speak, that she has fallen in love with my singing, that she knows no curse but the one in her heart that brings her back to a human, to a creature of air and not water, to a mistake in the making.

in the dawn i know it is a dream and no more. i make bread. i pour water out before it can make mirrors. i do not look. i do not like the ache that has filled me, as if i’ve been looking for an answer and the answer only leads to longing.

the man i meet - my husband-to-be - is delighted by the house i keep. he believes a woman should keep in her place, and her place should be clean. he hears from neighbors that sometimes i sneak out to the land witch’s house. laughter barks out of him. not going to allow that behavior, not me. he does not believe in curses. he will pack me up and move me from the ocean to somewhere in the mountains, where i know nobody. and i will, he promises, learn to keep my place, and that place clean.

i tell myself i could love him. he is not ugly. he says i’m pretty enough after whiskey. my father mentions i used to sing. i refuse to perform for these men so instead i make them cookies. they laugh and talk about me, even when i am in the room, as if they cannot even see. they shake hands and talk about how useless a woman is for much else than breeding. it’s very funny. the man meets my eyes and promises he’ll put a baby in me. i look down and pretend the thrill i feel is excitement, not fear brewing in me.

the land witch comes by a week before my wedding. she is smaller these days, aging. her apprentice and i get along wonderfully. the two women stand before me, holding something. 

a small box, so tiny and lovely. “break the curse,” the witch whispers, “learn to be happy.”

i smuggle the box, take it everywhere with me. it is days before i have a moment to slip away, to open it by the sea. i take a candle with me, even though my father will notice and be angry.

by the light of fire i read the spell they have left me inside, and then i am so full of gratitude i cannot stop crying.

it must be a full moon, so i must wait. in the meantime, i walk home, and i bake. 

i do not see the seawitch, even though i look for her. maybe i have wounded her, getting married. my father asks why i keep smiling. i tell him it is because i am finally with a man. he grunts and says to stop looking so silly. 

the man kisses me. i let him. we are married on a night with a full moon, and i poison him and my father in the bread i did not eat. i think of how these men were cursed so they could not see a storm coming. i watch them as they lie there, dying, and then i put all of the things i own into a basket for the land witch. i leave it there with a song i wrote for her, a spell i know will make her happy, will stop the aging of her joints, will give her the kind of relief she gave me. 

i go down to the water. i find myself running, even though i am in no hurry. i know the way so well it is like i wake up there, panting. i ask permission first. i lay out the contents of the box, i organize and practice and when the needle and pain comes, i am ready for it. i am used to pain at night. i breathe into it and walk naked into waters that swallowed my mother.

i chew bitter herbs. i swallow fire. i feel myself drown as i change from land witch to sea witch. 

when it is done, i open my eyes in the deep of a moonlit ocean. and i see her. 

this time she does not flicker. this time when i reach for her, she is there, and she is pushing my hair out of my eyes, and we are kissing with the ocean rejoicing around us, and i am laughing, and i hear her voice as clear as bell inside me.