the funniest part of my appendix removal experience was being wheeled down to the operating room and as we were going my nerves were everywhere so i half-jokingly asked the nurse taking me if she still had her appendix bc i felt not normal for getting mine out on top of having the jitters about being cut open so i was trying to fill the silence and she just.. looked mildly offended while being like “uhhhh. yeah. of course i do” like…. my bad i guess

of COURSE i still have my appendix.. what kind of loser idiot freak doesn’t… now count backwards from ten

we need irl subtitles. what are you guys even saying

“shark infested waters” bro they just live there 

ok.

If you see me as a bloating corpse at the side of the road do NOT bury me! I know what I'm doing and I'm having an excellent time!

I don't want Rick and Morty merch at the smoke shop I want a rolling tray with a pic of Hamtaro so high out of his gourd that he's visibly having a panic attack

I used to work at a place with a drive thru and without exception, every single time I saw one of these huge newer trucks it was being used to transport one person, the driver. Maybe a passenger as well as. And nothing else. The trucks that were obviously being used to do work: haul stuff, haul trailers, were always much smaller older model trucks, with a few exceptions for specialized vehicles like tow trucks. I'm sure that part of this is that the people who worked hauling stuff around with a pickup all day can't afford these stupid monstrosities. Ban them.

Not to mention most American suburbs and city streets were designed for much smaller cars, making massive trucks like this parked on the curb a pain in the ass at best and an active hazard that chokes up traffic and leads to more accidents and more likelihood for pedestrians crossing the street to be hit at worst. I live in a neighborhood where most of the houses, and the city planning, went up between the 30′s and 50′s--thus the streets, in theory, are supposed to allow two cars to drive in opposite directions. This is not fucking possible because apparently 60% of the men in my neighborhood have decided they need giant fucking trucks that haul around fuck-all. So this leads to playing goddamn vehicular “Operation” with everyone driving in the opposite direction of me on the road.

Every time i see a truck this size they have a thin blue line sticker

I'm sorry but the fucked up emoji is really hard to ignore

Ew dude gross, don't put your faith in me, I don't know where it's been.