꒰ঌLavender-Berry໒꒱

I. AM. CRYING

AND THE REPLIES

shadowheart <3

Withers decided to make the toast while Astarion was transformed... and the result is an adorable little toasting Batstarion 🩸

i just know astarion's got this beautiful looping cursive script, stunning and ostentatious, but if you look closely there are more mistakes than you'd expect. some of the letters don't quite connect correctly. his spelling is fine but not great. his handwriting's a little shaky in places -

- just like how his clothes look lovely until you get close enough to see the signs of wear, the careful repairs.

i also imagine his writing is better in elvish than in common. as an elf, he learned it first. it's the language his parents would've spoken to him when he was a baby, the first language he learned to read and write in, with common on the side as a lesser but useful tongue. his university classes and law school lectures happened in common, so he had to master it, but elvish will always be his default when he picks up a pen.

i know this isn't the case in-game, but i also like to imagine him speaking with a light accent and sprinkling elvish words into his speech (the way minthara does with drow phrases - straj or alurlssrin, velkyn and l'il alurl).

While writing in cursive, it's normal to have some level of loops, have an excessive amount of loops is a sign on secret keeping as a person is purposely closing off parts of themselves from others.

astarion automatically agreeing with you about something and agonizing over it later because he actually doesn't agree but didn't know how to tell you.

or: astarion digging his heels in during what should've been a small disagreement with you because he so badly needs to have control, to exert his hard-won ability to choose.

astarion feeding excessively because it's finally sunk in that he can. astarion lashing out at a stranger who flirts with him because he's so determined not to reciprocate. astarion having an extremely complicated, precise tea order. astarion blowing off your input when he deliberates on anything because it's so important to him to make every decision independently.

"All poets are f slur"

"Hopeless romantic, this time homo edition"

"Writing fanfiction is like giving birth"

"girl dick" (This one was technically set by my friend but still)

"having a crush is like craving chicken"

"some dead dove is deader than others"

"Meeting was a success, needs less piss next time"

""But you're MY leaking blood bags." -Astarion"

"Hardly. There's also gold, sex, revenge - quite the list, really. But failing any of those, I will always settle for shallow praise." (Also an Astarion quote)

""And the internet's excuse for a good time- 𝓗𝓮𝓵𝓵𝓸 𝓭𝓪𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓰~" -Neil Newbon"

"Who wants to be the occultist tgirl to my heroin addict bf?"

"I'M GOING TO GET THE MOST SHIT HAIRCUT AND NOBODY CAN STOP ME!!!"

"Yeah we ball :3 *I sob violently*"

"DELTARUNE TOMORROW is an anagram for "TORTURE A LEWD MORON." this changes everything..."

"I WIN!! All of the members of the Dream SMP, ARE UNDER NDA, and they have been, FOR YEARS!!"

Getting a likeness is so hard. I felt, I did an ok job with Shads & Wyll, and definitely have to redo Gale, but Astarion here put me through the wringer. I think there's still something wrong with his jaw but overall I am ok with him now.

Astarion

Life or light domain cleric of Selune, Lathander, or Kelemvor.

No gods ever helped him, he’s been banished from the sun, the religious goody-two-shoes types always get in the way of him having fun.

A cleric Tav of a god of life and light is opposite to everything he is. An undead creature of the dark forever cursed to be the same thing forever courting a cleric that opposes the existence of the undead is unfathomable.

Bonus points for Tav being a gnome and Gur sympathizer. Astarion fucking hates gnomes and Gur.

Hearing Tav speak of how death should be final and praising life and light hurts more than a stake ever could. He’ll never know his heart beating again or the warmth of the sun. The things Tav’s beliefs surround.

As lovers he would constantly feel like he’s keeping his partner trapped from living their happiest life and wonders if their god hates him.

Gale

He respects wizards better than him, if a bit jealous. Sorcerers as well. Warlocks and clerics are admirable for what they sacrifice. But bards? I swear he has a hidden seething hatred for bards.

Bard Tav channeling magic just be fiddling a lute or reciting poetry, channeling magic through sheer passion. It’s absurd to him.

Little studying of spellcasting. Sacrificing practically nothing. Even spinning tall tales. Being able to magically damage opponents just by throwing insults. Everything he understands of magic says this should be impossible. Either you learn to wield magic, are born with innate talent, or are given power by a patron.

Bards just do a dance or jig and wounds are healed, their enemies are blind, and their allies are faster.

A bard lover would annoy him to no end when comparing magical abilities. Still, he could appreciate their vast knowledge and worldliness. The one thing Gale has in common with all bards is an appreciation of literature.

Lae’zel

Elf.

That’s it.

Jealous that she has to sleep longer and has to stay in the astral plane to avoid aging while elves are naturally practically immortal. They also can see in the dark better.

Elven cultures are either strict and disciplined, which Lae’zel respects, or carefree and frivolous which she despises.

Whatever their skill set, Lae’zel respects warriors equally to scholars. Everyone has their purpose to serve the greater society. Class doesn’t matter, race somewhat does. Githyanki are clearly the best.

Also slightly grouchy that elves are almost universally loved and considered beautiful while Gith are considered “an acquired taste” by most. Bae’zel just wants to know she’s also pretty. Why else do you think she spends so much time braiding and beading her hair?

Her biggest struggle with any lover is being jealous of what they’re capable of that she isn’t. It emphasizes her shortcomings and weaknesses that she’s not supposed to have.

Karlach

A nerdy prude.

Girl cannot wait for marriage.

Species and class don’t matter. She just wants hugs and kisses and [REDACTED].

Also hates to talk literature or philosophy. A bookworm that doesn’t want to run around and explore would feel like a ball and chain.

Yet, a more introverted, less excitable Tav helps her to not make irrational decisions and brings a stability and security she didn’t have before.

The only way it could get worse is if they had some relation to Gortash before and still like him. That giant fiery woman will literally beat them up until they learn to hate Gortash. Tav isn’t going to hear the end of all the atrocities that man committed until they hate him as much as Karlach does. 

Shadowheart

Githyanki selunite.

Need I even explain?

Hates Gith. Hates selunites (at least at the beginning).

A gith selunite Tav will make her question her entire existence.

Loving a cleric of her goddesses' archnemesis, and also a member of a culture she’s stolen from hardly makes sense.

Once Shadowheart learns that Tav doesn’t follow Vlakkith and isn’t part of main Githyanki society, she mostly overlooks Tav being a gith. Even though they’re a gith, they aren’t an enemy because of that.

However they’re still enemies because of being a selunite. Shadowheart isn’t sure what would be worse. If gith Tav followed Vlaakith and wanted to return the artefact to their people, or being a selunite that opposes everything she believes in.

In the end, as much as such a Tav would be the biggest headache Shadowheart has ever had, they will also be the most educational one. They would help her leave Shar, save her parents, and walk a path in light.

Wyll

Let’s be honest, this motherfucker is more racist than he admits.

Hates goblins just for being goblins. Probably barely tolerates drow. Looks at bugbears, hobgoblins, and ogres, and only sees monsters, not people. Yet somehow respects tieflings.

Unironically says “greenskins”.

Race wise, a half-orc or drow Tav is his worst nightmare.

Make that Tav a cleric of Tiamat and he’ll have an aneurysm.

How does he even get along with someone who worships a goddess that threatened his home and led him into becoming a warlock? To be lovers with such a person is inconceivable.

Being a cleric of Tiamat is absolutely the worst part. Horrible memories associated with the dragon goddesses cultists.

On the off chance he does end up courting such a person, he will do absolutely everything in his power to turn them away from Tiamat. Tav meanwhile will probably bash his skull in until he understands that goblinoids and orcs aren’t evil by nature, it’s just their patron gods that normally are.

Halsin

Cleric or paladin of Shar. Followers of Shar have taken so much from him, lifelong friends and a place he considered a second home.

Any race that’s short lived would also hurt him so much. They might live a century if they’re lucky, enough time to get to know them and grow attached. He would grow so close to them and they would fade too soon, he could never forget them or replace them. Tieflings, humans, dragonborn, halflings, half-orcs, and githyanki are the shortest lived. Generally not making it past 120.

Necromancers are also the polar opposites of druids, they unnaturally extend lives, but even then, it’s not really living. They don’t allow souls to heal and move on as is natural. Halsin may be able to tolerate a necromancer more than a Sharran though. He has a slight tolerance for the undead and necromancy when used responsibly or for “the greater good”.

If Tav is allergic to literally any animal some part of him is going to grieve and be disappointed. Especially if it’s a lethal allergy. He can’t enjoy all the furry, scaley, fluffy, and slimly little creatures of the world with them. (Sorry Halsin, no lion safaris. Just breathing the same air as a lion would kill me.)

Like Wyll, he would do everything he could to turn them from darkness.

So long as they don’t harm nature or anyone he cares about, he may be able to tolerate his partner being a Sharran. After all, darkness is part of nature in some way. 

Minthara

Misandrist. Aquaphobe. Drow supremacist. Wizard hater.

A wizard man that loves swimming might actually frighten her. Or she’d pop a blood vessel just trying to comprehend it and get a brain bleed.

Strongly believes darkvision makes someone superior. No darkvision? Get out. She won’t even consider you for breeding.

The same reason she hates wizards is also the same reason she looks down on short lived species. They don’t live long enough to enjoy and appreciate her company.

A human male wizard (Gale) is also just as easily an almost perfect partner. Through the power of magic her partner would be able to extend their lifespan and get darkvision. The one downside of them being human is that they’re children wouldn’t be pure blooded drow.

As long as her partner doesn’t oppose her conquests, they can be an amusing plaything at least. She’ll absolutely make her wizard use their magic in unconventional ways for her pleasure. Outside the bedroom, if they’re skilled enough, they may prove an indispensable part of her plans.