Wrong Truths

It's been over a year. Varrick has slept with three different people, performed blood rituals, recovered his oath, established one increasingly radicalized cult while taking control of another, and successfully organized at least two political coups.

Yet still hasn't convinced one baker to kiss him.

Varrick: I'm a holy paladin who saved your people and made you feel validated and seen for the first time in years. May I kiss you?

Bex: That's nice, Vash. *Pats his hand.* Has Private Cherami returned with word from the Emerald Enclave?

Varrick: *Conquest noises.* 🥹Yes... she says they're willing to fund our march on Moonrise.

Bex: Excellent. *Leaves.*

The one about the ship no one else cares about, or the deeply unpopular character, or the extremely unusual AU?

The fic that got no comments or kudos when you posted it?

Months or years from now, that fic might be exactly what someone is looking for in the sea of fics about all the popular characters, ships, and AUs.

Your fic might be the only fic out there that has what someone is looking for. The only fic that scratches the itch that it turns out you and that reader share.

💀✨

This week our hero experiences scandal and betrayal while implementing questionable parenting skills and making a genuine attempt to have human feelings for half a second.

Insurrection? He can insert his erection Sticking his nose in the grove's business? He can stick his nose in my grove business…

*squints at a piece of paper labeled puns/zingers* …what the hell.

Here's some smut art for anyone interested.

Setting: Father Shepherd (Vash Neel/Varrick) is a 24 year old human man fresh out of the Church of Bhaal. He gets involved with a local village tiefling girl, while also having access to fantasy cocaine.

Who, me?

Make this picrew and put your name in the incorrect quote generator!

Found this on @optimisticgrey's page. :3