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Things were slowly changing after what has happened in the Hospital Wing.
Professor Y/n, who had always been quite reserved—much more than most the professors, except Snape, of course— was now always on edge.
After that started the spacing outs.
She slowly stopped smiling.
Harry started noticing since the week after that incident. She stopped smirking sarcastically when a student she didn't particularly appreciate did something wrong before correcting them and even stopped making the usual polite smile she made when the trio came across her in the hallways.
She would give the class some pages to read about the topics they'll see during the next lesson to at least already know the basics, she would sit on her chair, staring into the back of the room and some minutes after she was gone.
It didn't last more than 2 minutes usually, not enough for most students to notice at least, since most were reading as the strict teacher told them to do.
Thing that obviously Ron wasn't doing and that is why he was the first to notice the change.
She would sit there, her eyes seemed more open and blurred as she was looking straight ahead of her. She looked strangely still and her posture was slightly more tensed, like on edge.
In the months they had known her, Harry, Ron and Hermione never really saw her completely unmoving, between her tics and her controlling gaze that almost followed every student in her class.
But there she was in those moments.
Still, like a statue, her eyes hollow and distant.
When she managed to come back to herself, she shook her head slightly, drank some of her usual potion and went on from where she stopped.
__
Now that she didn't have enough potion to help her contain whatever she was hiding, her softness for Neville was even more noticeable to the three Gryffindors.
"I started paying more attention" Hermione started one evening, looking up from her book to look at Harry and Ron.
"attention to what?" Ron yawned as he was eating some sweets.
Hermione continued: "You were right. There is a connection between Neville and professor Y/s... even if I still don't know what kind of..."
"Are you sure?..." Harry slowly looked up at her, probably too tired to sit straight on the common room couch and even more tired to have that type conversation. "Maybe it's just blunt favouritism... a lot of professors has a favourite student-"
"Favouritism?" she repeated incredulous. "Come on Harry! You think Y/n Y/s has a softer way around Neville for what? She feels sorry and took him under her wing? Her? Feeling sorry? Every time someone gets something wrong in her class she used to look like she had won the lottery. You think she is for favouring someone?"
Ron hummed at that "She's not wrong Harry... And, if she had a favourite, why a Gryffindor? and Neville! She was in Slytherin, that makes no sense..."
Harry groaned, exhausted and a bit embarrassed, already regretting what he said "I know! I know! She is not the type to have sympathy for someone just because... and surely even less now... she is slowly loosing herself...."
Harry covered his face with his hands in resignation "Than why? We don't have proof they have a connection but we don't have real proofs that they don't have one too..." He looked at his friends even more confused "And why does she keep staring at me?? She doesn't even acknowledge me as a person in class when i get something right.... she just.... stares?! What's going on with her??"
Hermione patted Harry's shoulder softly "Don't worn yourself out like that Harry... we'll dig in and find out everything... we always do,"
"And if we can't find anything alone: we go to the source." Ron added, getting a look from both his friends.
"We go meet Neville and ask him what's going on."
——
Finally, after days and days of strange events and stressful study sessions, it was time for the visit at Hogsmead.
A visit meant for everyone.... who had their permission form signed.
"No permission form signed, no visiting the village," Professor Mcgonagall said, looking at Harry, as he was approaching her, permission form in his hand and an hopeful look in his eyes. "That's the rule, Potter."
Flich moved forward, all the signed papers in his hand, and told the students with permission to follow him.
Harry now stood in front of his Transfiguration professor, not letting her go away. His face was a big anxious and sad as he looked at her now. "But Professor... I thought if you signed it, then I could-"
"I can't." Minerva said serious, even if she clearly looked mortified that she couldn't help the poor boy "Only a parent or a guardian can sign. Since I'm neither, it would be inappropriate." She, then, moved passed him to reach the rest of the students, but before she went away she turned around to look at Harry. Behind her were still Ron and Hermione, who were waiting, hoping for harry to come with them in some way.
"I'm sorry, Potter. That's my final word." The old woman said as she patted the boys shoulder before walking away. It was clear she wanted to do more, to help him out, but it wasn't her position to.
Rom and Hermione were still standing there, looking at Harry like they were unsure of what to do, if staying at Hogwarts with him or going with the rest of the class.
"Forget about it, guys. See you later." Is the only thing that the brunette boy said before going back inside the school, leaving the two alone there where Professor Mcgonagal was calling for them from the distance.
——
Harry was walking around the Castle.
Since most students were out at Hogsmead, Hogwarts was particularly quiet that day.
It didn't happen frequently that the School was this empty, so Harry had decided to explore it, feeling like the Castle was all for himself.
He went up to the Astronomy tower and the Clock tower, passing some time there, but after he did a "tour" around the high floors he found himself in front of the entrance of the Dungeons.
He looked down there unsure, not wanting to face the Bloody Baron, the infamous ghost of the Slytherin house who was known to have a less than friendly personality — even more towards the students who weren't from his house — or worse: Severus Snape.
Boredom, however, won against sense yet again and Harry slowly went down the Dungeons stairs. At its end he looked both ways, to see if the hallway was clear. Seeing no one there Harry decided to try his luck.
He took advantages of the situation to explore all the rooms he had never been there, managing to enter even in Snape's office, that he remembered to be smaller.
He walked silently towards the potion class and that is when, unexpectedly, he started to hear some voices coming from inside.
"Severus... please... I-... I know what you're thinking but-" The voice of professor Y/s came out muffled from the room, she sounded stressed, anxious, almost at her limit.
"Y/n. You're starting to become insufferable." The cold voice of professor Snape followed right after. He seemed exasperated, but there was a hint of concern that Harry had never heard before coming from him. "I can't always use my supplies for the classes to make that potion for you. I know it's the only thing that keeps you stable, but-"
"No, Severus. You DON'T understand!"
Harry got almost scared by his professor outburst and had to cover his mouth in order to not gasp loudly for surprise.
In those months he had known her, Y/n Y/s never had she ever screamed, or raise her voice; she just had to make a little sarcastic comment, that sounded much more as a threat than a joke, and all her students were silent and with their attention fully on her.
"I'm trying to endure it, Severus! I really am! But I can't do it! It's not enough to suppress all my symptoms, not even closely! I'm starting to have hallucinations again... when i look around... or at my students.... I- I don't see them anymore..."
Silence had fallen in the room and, for the first time, Harry almost thought that professor Snape didn't have something smart to say. Harry was incredibly quiet too, and not only to not get caught for once. He didn't know what Y/n Y/s problem was, or why she had that condition, but after seeing how she acted in those weeks and after learning about this apparent symptom, he was sure it was something important, something that wouldn't go away easily and that she was fighting for many years, much before she even came back at Hogwarts.
"That is because you're almost addicted to it, having a lesser dose makes the symptoms worse. You need to try harder." That was the only thing Severus Snape could say, even if his voice sounded different, smaller and without his usual hint of sarcasm. He wasn't the type of man that knew how to console people, he was objective and serious, and he had been that even in this moment, maybe because he didn't know anything better to say or just because that was the hard truth of her situation.
"If you don't think you can keep up like this, shouldn't you go to the-"
"NO." Professor Y/s cried out, desperate, almost scared of what he was implying.
Y/n didn't say anything after that, but Harry could hear her breath becoming heavier for a second. Then echoing through the corridor came the sound of a chair moving.
"I understand, Severus. I'll just... try harder..." and with that Harry heard the sound of steps coming towards the door.
He didn't have enough time to get away in time and as the door opened he found himself face to face with Y/s Y/n. Severus Snape couldn't see him since he was completely shielded by her body and that, perhaps, was the only good thing about that situation.
The woman stood there, frozen, as she stared into his eyes.
Harry couldn't understand what she was thinking. She had always been strange towards him, she never really acknowledged him, but at the same time he caught her looking into his eyes multiple times since she arrived at the Castle. She had been since the beginning an unpredictable woman and in those last weeks it had been even worse.
She was still looking at him, her face seemed confused as she looked into his green eyes and then, like something just snapped inside her, her eyes started slowly watering.
"It's not possible... you..." She muttered, her eyes locked in his "Is it really you...? Are you real...? Or is it just my mind making fun of me again....?"
And that is when she slowly extended her hand towards him.
Harry didn't know who she was seeing in his place and at in that moment he didn't care, he just wanted to go away.
And that is what he did: he ran away as fast as he could before her hand could even brush against his face.
She followed him with her eyes as he went upstairs quickly, not understanding anymore what was real and what was fake.
"Is everything ok?" Severus was now standing next to her, looking at the empty corridor.
"Yes... I thought I had seen someone...." Y/n just said as she was holding her head, her tick on her nose back as it started contracting continuously against her will.
"Someone?" He repeated, raising one of his eyebrows slightly.
"...an old friend..." she whispered more to herself as she walked away slowly to her private chamber.
——
Harry was still running, his eyes closed shut, scared to even look at where he was going, until he went against something soft that made him fall to the ground.
"Harry? Are you alright? Why were you running?" A soft and melancholic voice called for him, reaching out to help him get up.
"Professor Lupin?" Harry looked up and saw the kind face of his Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher.
The man just smiled "Do you want to walk with me, Harry? You seem upset."
The two walked together in silence until they arrived at the Brockdale Bridge.
"Professor, can i ask you something?" Harry was the first to break the silence, still a bit nervous, but surely calmer than before.
"you want to know why i stopped you facing that boggart, yes?" The man asked and Harry just nodded. "I thought it would be obvious. I assumed it would take the shape of Lord Voldemort."
"I did think of Voldemort at first. But then i remembered that night on the train.... and the Dementor." Harry shivered at the only mention of it, what had happened the night everyone arrived at Hogwarts was still something that haunted him, even if he never openly admitted that with his friends.
"I'm very impressed." Remus said, patting the boy's shoulder. "That suggests what you fear the most is fear itself. This is very wise."
After a bit of silence Harry added something else, something he tried to explain even to his friends, but they never really understood. "Before i fainted... I heard something... A woman... screaming."
Lupin looked at him softly.
"Dementors force us to relive our very worst memories. Our pain becomes their power." He explained, his voice weaker.
"I think it was my mother... the night she was murdered," Harry added.
Remus just hummed. He, then, turned around and walked to the other side of the bridge, looking at the landscape, probably trying to find the best words to use.
"The very first time I saw you, Harry, I recognised you immediately." He started, and Harry didn't seem surprised by what he said. "Not by your scar, by your eyes." He smiled and looked back at the boy, who was now listening to him.
"They're your mother, Lily's."
Harry looked at his professor, his big green eyes wide with surprised. Between all the things he was imagining in his head, never would he have thought that Remus J. Lupin could have been a friend of his parents.
"Yes. Oh, yes. I knew her," Remus continued. "Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch... she was also an uncommonly kind woman. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others... even, and most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves."
Harry looked away from him, his eyes a bit shiny from hearing about his mother in such a tender way. Never in his life had he heard someone speak about her in this way. Something his aunt Petunia would mention her, but it was never for positive things, and it was worse when she mentioned his father.
"And your father, James, on the other hand... he..." Remus laughed slightly, remembering old memories from a long time ago. "He had a certain, shall we say, talent for trouble. A talent, rumor had it, he passed to you. You're more like them than you know, Harry. In time you'll come to see just how much."
Harry nodded, smiling. Those words warmed something inside him, something he didn't know was there. A reassurance that his parents were great people, that they had good friends that cared for them and loved them.
But just as it came, his smile went quickly away.
"Professor, can i ask you another question?" Harry murmured.
"Of course, Harry." Lupin looked at him curiously.
"There is a Professor... that I can't understand... She always stares at me, but we never speak..." Harry started, but his professor seemed to have figured out everything already.
"Are you talking about Y/n?" He asked calmly.
Harry just nodded. He didn't know how to explain what he felt when Y/n Y/s was nearby, and now, after what happened just an hour before, he was even more confused.
She just wasn't the type of person you could directly say if she was good or not... She was too grey... and Harry was never good at understanding those type of people.
"Harry..." Remus began, not sure about how to continue. "I suggest you to stop whatever investigation you and your friends are doing and to leave her alone, she has already a lot on her shoulders to carry and doesn't need you kids trying to find things about her. It's not my story to tell, so it wouldn't be fair for me to tell you anything...."
Lupin looked away again after that, back into the distance, but before going away he added:
"Harry, if i can ask you a favour, don't ever mention your parents near her"
And with that he was gone.
"Il passato doveva rimanere dov'era. Se lo ripeteva ogni volta che ricordi e rimpianti le cantavano la solita canzone triste."
{The past had to stay where it was. She repeated it every time memories and regrets sang her the usual sad song.}
[Manuela Stefani, La stanza del pianoforte]
AUTHOR's SPACE
I'm sorry i disappeared, university and life in general kept me so busy, i'm always tired
As the weeks went on, the Trio started noticing more things. After what happened in the Defence Against the Dark Arts class, they started paying more attention to all the little habits their new Professor had. They were trying to understand what she was really like, what Y/n Y/s was really like, but whenever they seemed close to grasping just a little part of her personality, the day after she would the total opposite.
She was a pretentious teacher, but fair with her students. She was sometimes even funny, mostly sarcastic and somewhat light in her own way when the day was right. But there were also times when she was hostile, distant, and she had this faraway look, like she was not completely there. Her words were defensive, as if she was prepared to cut off the conversation whenever it didn't go in the direction she expected. But that never lasted long, perhaps thirty minutes until the end of the lesson, then she disappeared and after an hour she would return, as nothing had happened.
She always carried that bottle with her, the one with that strange pitch black potion, wherever she went, and every few hours she would take a sip from it, a small, measured sip, as if trying to make it last the entire day.
They started noticing something else other than her peculiar ways. Even if she generally treated all her students equally, scolding them when they were wrong or broke the rules and nodding approvingly when they were right, there was someone who seemed to be treated slightly differently, even if not many noticed.
"Did you two notice?" Ron asked nonchalantly as they walked down the hallway, not thinking about anything in particular.
"Notice what?" Harry asked, curious.
"You know, how Professor Y/s treats her students," Ron continued, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.
"Ron, i'm sorry to inform you that, even if we're all really curious about what our professor is hiding, some of us can't just stare at the wall all class long and not take notes" Hermione chimed in, rolling her eyes slightly, clearly unimpressed by the redhead's behaviour.
"I mean!" Ron continues "She is kind of indifferent towards all of us.. or almost"
"What do you mean with 'almost'?" Harry was extremely confused in that moment. Surely they had been watching her closely in the hopes of discovering some clues about her past, but never did she make a strange move as treating someone differently, or at least that's what Harry thought.
"I saw her... pat Neville's shoulder after he transplanted a Mandrake correctly..." Ron whispered to his two friends.
The two momentarily stopped walking and looked at him.
"WHAT??" The two said together.
"I SWEAR," Ron said defensively, raising his hands "I'm not lying! I really saw it! When I... occasionally... do something right in her class the most I get is a slight nod... Isn't it strange Neville got a pat? Isn't it strange from her?"
Harry and Hermione stood there, too stunned to speak, reflecting on what they had just heard. For someone as difficult to approach or to interact with as Y/n Y/s, a pat on the shoulder, for as small as it seemed, was something shockingly unusual that the two had never seen. Surely she acknowledged Hermione's efforts in being the best even in her class, but even she never received something so personal.
Harry, on the other hand, was even more confused.
Professor Y/s, at some point throughout some of her lessons, just stared at Harry, or at least in his direction, when she thought no one was looking. She was looking at his eyes, but at the same time Harry had the eerie sensation that she was not really looking at him, like she saw someone else in his place.
"Maybe we are just overthinking it..." The scarred boy muttered, trying to brush it off as he started walking again, directing towards their next lesson.
"But Harry..." Hermione started, trying to make him reason.
"We'll watch her more carefully during her class to see if there's really a connection between Y/s and Neville.... Come on, we can't be late for Hagrid's lesson. He said he's going to show us something incredible," Harry added, and with that, the group walked away.
—
The class was all gathered outside the Forbidden Forest, books in hand. The Care of Magical Creatures textbook was quite unique, a large tome secured with a thick belt. It had what looked like eyes on its cover, and some unfortunate students, who didn't know that to open it safely they had to caress its spine, got attacked by it. One of them was Neville, obviously.
The Trio was subtly following him with their eyes, trying to spot something out of the ordinary, but he seemed like his usual self. After successfully closing the book and standing back up, he noticed them looking at him so he awkwardly waved at them before joining the rest of the class.
After a few minutes, Hagrid stopped and smiled.
"Ta-Tararan!!" He said in a singsong voice, theatrically showing the creature behind him.
There was a peculiar beast. Its front half resembled a great eagle, with sharp claws, large wings and an eagle-like head, complete with a strong beak and keen eyes that were scanning the kids. Its back half was that of a horse, with a long
tail and hind legs.
"Isn't he beautiful?" Hagrid beamed "Say hello to Buckbeak!"
"Hagrid..." Ron called out, voice slightly shaky "...exactly what is THAT...?!"
The sturdy man looked at the class proudly "That, Ron, is a Hippogriff."
As the animal munched the raw meat that Hagrid had tossed at him, he continued "First thing you wanna know about Hippogriffs is that they are very proud creatures. Very easily offended. You do not want to insult a hippogriff. It may just be the last thing you ever do. Now, who'd like to come and say hello?"
Everyone quickly stepped back, too scared to approach the dangerous beast, everyone except Harry Potter. A thing the poor boy didn't notice at the beginning until Hagrid looked at him with a big smile.
"Well done Harry! Well done!"
The boy stood frozen for a few seconds, glancing around and behind himself, seeing that all his classmates and friends had taken several steps back.
"Come on!" He encouraged. "Now, you have to let him make the first move! It's only polite. So, step up. Give him a nice bow. Than you wait and you see if he bows back. If he does, you can go and touch him."
Harry stepped forward slowly, a bit unsure, until Hagrid added "If not, well, we'll get to that later..."
That... didn't quite help.
Harry took another step forward and bowed carefully. But he had gotten a little too close, agitating the Hippogriff.
"Back off, Harry. Back off!" Hagrid whispered urgently and the boy quickly stepped back, still bowing, as his friends watched anxiously.
He stood still, waiting, until Buckbeak slowly bowed back.
"Nice job, Harry!" the half-giant cheered and the boy let out a sigh of relief "Go on! Don't be shy! Give him a big pat! Nice and slow!"
Harry slowly reached out his hand and waited for the creature to come to him.
After a few seconds it happened, Buckbeak's feathers were soft against the palm of his hand.
"I think he will let you ride him!" Hagrid said excitedly as he picked Harry up from under his armpits.
"WHAT?" The poor kid yelped as the tall man lifted him onto Buckbeak's back.
"Don't pull any his feathers! He won't thank you for that!" was the only warning that he got from the half-giant before the man gave a good spank at Buckbeak's rear, launching them into the air.
They were gone for a few minutes, but when they returned, Harry looked overjoyed, he was smiling, panting like he had been laughing and screaming into the air, like he had just lived the best experience in his life.
Hagrid helped him dismount, and Harry rejoined his friends.
And that is when the things quickly escalated.
Draco Malfoy pushed his way through the crowd, approaching Buckbeak.
"You're not dangerous at all, are you, you great ugly brute!?"
He didn't listen to Hagrid's warning and marched toward the Hippogriff, fast and cocky. But that didn't last long. Buckbeak, offended, reared and slashed at him. The blond boy tried to shield himself with his arms but it didn't do much. Its claws cut deep into his skin, blood started flowing out from the wound and Draco was screaming and crying in pain.
Hagrid scooped him up and ran fast to the Castle. Harry ran after them, he didn't completely know why, he clearly didn't care about Malfoy, but he felt something inside, something that told him to follow them.
Behind him were Ron and Hermione, who were calling after him in confusion.
As the group rushed into the Hospital Wing the Trio saw someone they didn't expect there.
Y/n Y/s was standing there, frozen, facing Madam Pomfrey in shock, and her jaw looked tight as if she was trying to hold herself from saying something she would regret.
The nurse, on the other hand, looked worried, overwhelmed even, like she didn't know what more to do.
As Hagrid bursted into the room with Draco in his arms, Pomfrey quickly started to look after him after understanding what had happened.
Professor Y/s remained where she was, clearly in distress and waiting for the older woman to say something more, something that would give her a bit of hope, and to not leave her like that.
"Y/n." Madam Pomfrey looked at her for a second as she was moving around the room through her supplies, in search of the right potions to heal the bleeding boy "You must understand... We are just a School Hospital. I already have every day a lot of students to take care of, I don't have enough time... or quantity of ingredients to keep up with your needs... and I can't ask Severus for help one they and the next as well. Please... from now on, I can give you only three potions a week."
Y/n Y/s stayed silent and didn't respond. Her eyes were moving frenetically in every direction except where the nurse was, probably trying to understand mentally what that meant for her. Then, calmly, without a word, she left, her eyes wide... her face pale.
The three Gryffindors looked between one another, but said nothing about what happened.
They left the room and quickly moved towards their common room.
"I can't understand" Hermione muttered as she passed through the entrance and dropped herself onto one of the couches of the Gryffindor common room.
"It's obvious you don't understand her! She's clearly mad..." Ron scoffed, flopping down beside her.
His comment gained him a disapproving look from Harry.
"Bloody Hell, Harry! Don't look at me like that!" Ron started defending himself "you too saw her too! She is a lunatic! I never thought I would ever say something like this but she is stranger than Snape! and that alone says a LOT."
Harry only shook his head.
"It's linked to that potions she carries around... they must help her control her emotions..." Hermione started explaining as she covered her eyes in frustration "but I can't find anything similar in the potions book the school keeps..."
"Maybe because it's something you don't learn at school..." Harry murmured as he sat on the free spot next to Hermione. "Maybe because it's too specific to be in a schol textbook..."
At that moment, He and Hermione looked at each other, their eyes wide in understanding.
"That's why only Madam Pomfrey would know how to brew it... and Snape too?..."
Ron groaned, hiding his face with both hid hands "Whatever it is I don't want to know anything about it.."
Harry rested his head back on the couch, exhausted. "Whatever it's happening, if now she is getting less of those as we heard things will change quickly... and I don't know if they'll change for the best..."
Νοσήματα διαφυγόντα καρδιαν κατατρώγουσι σώμα
(Diseases that escape the heart devours the body)
[Hippocrates of Kos]
next parts: chap5;
AUTHOR's SPACE
I'm so sorry I couldn't update before, I had so much things to do and to study😭
BUT! I have a great news! I passed my written exam for the driving licence! I'm really happy!
I hope you'll like the chapter, it's probably the longest i've ever written SHSHHS
I hope you all have a wonderful day and an amazing weekend!🤍🤍
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
The next week arrived quickly, and with it came all the new things to study. As professor Lupin anticipated in his first lecture, that morning the class would learn about Boggarts.
Hermione had decided to go for a "light read" on the topic over the weekend, just to feel a bit more confident during the lesson. She tried to get Harry and Ron to participate to her little study session, but when they saw how many books she had already taken from the library, they quickly decided to leave and play around the Castle with Fred and George, knowing they'd be too busy to have fun as the year went by.
The Trio found themselves in the Great Hall as every morning, but unusually early. Not that Harry and Hermione ever had trouble getting out of bed, but they usually waited in the Gryffindor common room for a certain redhead, who made a habit out always being late. But this was not such a day. The Twins had enchanted Ron's pillow the night before, and the poor boy woke up at 5 a.m. as it started hitting him repeatedly. He was now groaning, holding his head as he ate his breakfast, while his two friends were trying their best not to laugh.
"Well, since we are all up and ready, we could go to the classroom already," Hermione smiled as she took her books from the Gryffindor table.
" 'Mione-" Ron scoffed as he continued eating and passed some more food to Harry "Isn't it too early to go already?"
"Well... at least if we go now we can take some good seats. I don't want to be in the front lines..." The brunette boy commented as he finished his breakfast and slowly stood up, gathering all his things from the table to follow Hermione, who had already started walking towards the door.
The poor Weasley groaned, clearly not thrilled by the idea, but quickly followed his friends.
The three Gryffindor walked through the corridors with no rush. There weren't many people around at that hour and the Castle, eerily empty like that, had an atmosphere around it that was both gloomy and comforting.
As they got closer to the classroom, they saw a figure, not a student for sure, since they were not in Hogwarts' uniform, standing in front of the door.
The Trio moved a little faster to see who they were, trying to be as sneaky as possible to avoid being caught.
There stood Professor Y/s. She was brushing her hair with her hand repeatedly, trying to make them perfectly straight and knot-free. She seemed stressed, about what, the three students didn't know, but she was staring intensely at the door handle, probably deciding whether to go in or walk away.
The Golden Trio looked at one another, not sure of what they were seeing. At that moment Y/n stepped into the room, leaving the door slightly ajar. Harry was the first to move, silently creeping toward it to listen what was going on in there. He was quickly followed by the others, though not before Hermione gave both boys a scolding look for trying to eavesdrop their professors' conversation.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here" Remus' kind voice echoed softly in their ears through that little crack in the door. "You almost didn't look at me when Dumbledore announced me."
Y/n was staring at him, finding every detail of him that changed since the last time the two saw each other and collecting them mentally. Her face was blank, without her usual sarcastic expression that the students had already gotten used to over the first week. She seemed too tired for someone that should have woken up approximately just an hour ago. In her cloak pocket Hermione noticed a still full ampoule, a small glass vial, filled with the same dark liquid as before. Hermione pointed it out for the boys with her finger. Harry stayed silent, trying to collect the few scattered pieces they had collected until now, but getting nothing out of them.
"You didn't look at me, either," She responded simply, while the man continued to organise his things for the upcoming lecture.
Lupin paused. "Perhaps you're right... I didn't."
With that being said the room fell into a deep silence. It just lasted a few seconds, but the were so full of tension that probably felt like ages, even more to the three kids behind the door, who were trying their best to not make a sound, keeping their mouth shut with their hands.
"I heard you stayed at St.-"
"Yes. I was." She quickly interrupted him, like hearing the name of the place they were talking about and from him was too much to bear. "I still have to go there now and then. but I'm out now."
Remus looked at her and just hummed, maybe in understanding, maybe just to break the uncomfortable silence that started to creep in again.
But this time it was her who broke it first.
"You never came to visit." She said with a plain voice as she looked straight in his eyes. Her hands were scratching her leather notebook in her hands.
"I'm sorry... I-" Lupin tried to explain himself, his voice tired, more than it usually was, perhaps for the weight of the moment he wasn't expecting.
"I thought we were friends. I-" Y/n cut him off again, and she might have said something else, maybe she would have, even if her nose tic was already showing, even if she didn't seem to want to talk more. But she didn't, because in that moment Ron leaned too heavily on the door, and it gave a loud creak.
The two professors immediately toward it and the three students had no choice but to open the door and walk in the classroom, acting normally and pretending that they just arrived there, and trying not to look like deers caught in the headlights.
They took their seats without a word and just like that Professor Y/s went away silently.
The Trio dared to look at Lupin's face. He looked conflicted, even sad, as if he too, in that moment, didn't know what to do next.
"Are you ready for the lesson?" He asked softly, perhaps more to distract himself from what just happened that for real curiosity.
Hermione nodded slowly.
"Yes, Professor... Boggarts, right? I've read a bit during the weekend about it... they're interesting..."
Lupin smiled gently, though it didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Professor.." Harry asked suddenly "You studied this subject too when you were at Hogwarts?"
The man looked at his student a bit confused by the question. "Yes, Harry. Why?"
"So Professor Y/s studied it too? Do you know what her Boggart was?" Harry continued.
Remus seemed stunned for a second after that question. He blinked as if trying to compose himself while he tried to think about the best way to respond that question.
That sadness from before came back again, but it didn't look as remorse now, more like the remembrance of old dear memories.
"I don't know. I was a year above her, so I wasn't in her class. But I heard that she waited until everyone else left the classroom to have her turn." He explained calmly.
"Why would she do that?" Ron asked, genuinely confused.
"She wanted everyone to think she was the greatest, and had few friends in her year. I think... I think she just didn't want people she didn't trust to know she was afraid too."
With that, Remus J. Lupin sat down on his desk and said no more words until class officially began.
The four of them didn't mention what had happened after that. Everyone started exercising with the Riddikulus spell without knowing about the previous exchange happened right before class started.
First was Neville, who's worst fear was Professor Snape. Remus smiled and chuckled, agreeing with the boy that the surly man was the greatest fear of many people.
"The only person that I've ever seen exchanging jabs with him was Professor Y/s last week, it was kinda strange, remember?" Ron murmured to Harry, hoping that the professor would hear them, and, in response, he nodded.
Lupin invited Neville to use the spell he just learned against the creature, picturing it with his grandmother's clothes.
The nervous student did as the professor told him and just a few seconds after, in front of the class, stood the Boggart, looking like Severus Snape, but dressed in eccentric clothes.
The class erupted into laughter and one after the other, everyone tried the spell successfully.
Everyone until Harry.
When it arrived his turn to stand in front of the Boggart, still chuckling, the creature started to mutate.
The room turned slightly darker, colder, and something began floating in front of them: a Dementor, who almost attacked the poor boy.
Fortunately Professor Lupin stopped the monster on time and sent it back in it's cage.
The class was dismissed earlier, but this feeling of unease never left Harry.
We forget many things from our past and we purposely chase them out of our minds: meaning that we want our image, which radiates from the past towards us, to deceive us, to flatter our presumption - we are constantly working on this deception of ourselves
[Friedrich Nietzsche]
next chapter: part 4! chap5;
AUTHOR's SPACE
I didn't like this chapter at first, I imagined it differently, but after a long work I ended up quite enjoying it.
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School had started for some days now and the Golden Trio was beginning to get used to the new lessons schedule. Every morning, the small group went back to their previous routine: pumpkin juice and a full breakfast to prepare for the day ahead.
The students could see the Dementors gliding near the school grounds, but no one dared to comment on it already, perhaps out of fear... or perhaps out of a desperate need to deny the same situation they were living in.
On Monday, they found themselves facing Remus J. Lupin for the first time since what had happened on the train. Lupin introduced himself to the class. His voice was calm, warm... understanding, even.
He started talking a bit about himself, then he began explaining what they'll learn in his lessons this year and asked a few questions to get to know his students better and to make them feel more at ease in his presence.
He really seemed like a kind and reliable man, just like he had shown himself to be when he helped the three Gryffindors.
They had their first Potion class the day after. Lessons with professor Snape were never easy for the Trio, or better say for the whole Gryffindor house, since the grumpy man was known to favour students from his own house, being the Head of the Slytherin, and to find any way to take points from the others. Yet his temper seemed even worse than the last year. He looked more tense, more sceptical, scanning the classroom like a hawk in search of something out of place.
Surely Ron's wasn't making it easier for his friends by forgetting the book on their first lesson. It obviously costed Gryffindor 5 points.
That being said the rest of the period went as fluid as it could have, and, fortunately, no cauldrons exploded that day.
Wednesday things seemed to start peacefully. No Howler came with the morning post and Seamus managed to make one of his "spells" work without destroying anything.
"Are you two excited for today's lessons?" Hermione asked curiously as she was reading the Daily Prophet.
"Excited?" Ron muffled back as he was eating some pumpkin pastries "Why should we be excited for today's classes? they'll be just as boring as usual... let's just hope Malfoy doesn't get in our way again, or i swear, today it's the day i'm hexing him" The redhead finished speaking, starting to drink his juice.
"You said the same thing last year," Harry commented and Hermione shook her head slightly in disbelief.
"Well I thought you'd be curious," The girl added with a small scoff, causing the two boys to look at her. "We have Herbology this afternoon... you haven't learned your schedules yet?" She said confused even if she already knew the answer.
The brunette and the Redhead exchanged a glance as if they just remembered something of great importance.
"Bloody hell..." was the only thing that came out of Ron's mouth
Herbology.
Today was finally the day they'll get to properly know their last new professor.
The unusual woman that never stopped looking at Harry during the Start-of-term Feast.
They had occasionally seen her as they walked through the corridors of the school, but they never really understood something about her during those brief encounters.
One time she sarcastically smiled at them as a greeting, her gaze slowly moving from one to the next as if memorising their faces. Her eyes lingered a bit longer on Harry. She looked at his eyes, his scar before she just turned away.
Her nose slightly twitching repeatedly as if she couldn't really control her own actions. And with that she disappeared behind a corner.
Another time, she looked like a completely different person.
She looked slightly paler, almost sickly.
Her eyes, unfocused, looked straight ahead, as if seeing something that wasn't really there, something the Trio couldn't see.
She didn't acknowledge their presence, or anyone else's, and simply walked towards the end of the corridor, drinking from a small bottle a dark fluid they couldn't recognise.
Ever since that moment she didn't seem to have come out of her chamber.
The Golden Trio arrived, strangely, in perfect time to the Greenhouse. They took their seats and waited.
A few minutes later entered the woman who had managed to confuse them so much in just two days.
Y/n Y/s was wearing a black dress under her long cloak today. It reached a bit under her knees and made her prosthetic leg completely visible for the whole class. It was strangely fascinating, Hermione thought, staring at it, since none of them had seen something like that before. It was magically attached at her knee, and inside,
fluids could be seen moving up and down, perhaps special potions to keep it functioning and feeling like a real leg.
"Do you think she can feel it if someone touches it?" Ron whispered to Harry.
Harry just responded with a look.
She smiled sardonically at the class "Welcome to Herbology. I am Professor Y/s, Whether you'll earn the right to call me Professor Y/n will be decided by your attitude towards my class. I advise you to not come up with strange Nicknames for me, unless you don't want to explore the Forbidden Forest alone for extra credits"
She smirked as she scanned the room, watching some of the quieter students stutter slightly at the threat.
"I hope you didn't expect my lessons to be a pleasant stroll through the greenhouse, to water plants and listen to songbirds.
Every class is linked to the other in a way or another. Learning every aspect of a plant can help you remember easily which one goes in a potion instead of another. You must understand what you have in your hands before throwing it in the cauldron. So I expect seriousness and commitment in this class." She ended her speech as she walked between the desks and looked around the Greenhouse.
"I've heard you have already studied the 'Mandrake' last year," she said "but unfortunately for me, and, perhaps, fortunately for you since you should already know this, we'll talk briefly about them again, since they are part of the curriculum."
She took a vase with a small Mandrake, which was still just a baby, thinking what she could teach her students that they didn't know about it.
She started tapping on it until she heard some snickering from behind her.
Draco Malfoy was grinning to his group while Pansy Parkinson was chuckling, probably about something he said.
Harry, meanwhile, was watching his professor's every move as if trying to solve a puzzle he hadn't figured out yet.
"I don't think she'll do something about them," Hermione murmured to her friend "I heard some students say they overheard Professor Mcgonagal talking about having to find a new Head for Hufflepuff because she too was a Slytherin... she would never take points from her house..."
Ron groaned silently at her word "Bloody Slytherin... always covering each other's back..."
But as they were talking, Y/n Y/s turned around, now staring at Draco, who seemed to drop his cocky act quickly after he noticed.
"Care to share the joke with the rest of the class, Malfoy?" The woman called out, but the blonde didn't say anything, trying to save his image.
"Malfoy," she continued calmly "do you know what are the consequences of hearing a Mandrake's cry?" The Y/h/c asked.
Draco looked at her, confused by the sudden question, and said "The cry of a grown Mandrake can kill who listens to it... while the one of a baby can only knocks them out..."
Y/n slowly nodded and closed her eyes. When she opened them again she smirked, still holding the pot with the baby Mandrake in it, and said "Do you want to be our cavy and see if you'll really pass out?"
The Slytherin boy went pale and silent, not daring to say a word, and Y/n nodded again "I see... I hope you learned that my class it's not a circus, there's nothing to laugh about here. Five points from Slytherin, for your lack of respect."
With that she went back explaining, without even acknowledging the shocked expressions of the three Gryffindors' faces.
__
At the and of her class, Professor Y/s sat on her chair, waiting for all her students to get out. "You survived the first lesson, good job. You have a whole year ahead now." She just told them.
The Golden Trio lingered behind, just around the corner to see if they could catch some new aspects of their teacher. That's when they saw someone they weren't expecting approach the entrance of the Greenhouse.
Severus Snape.
He stood still, looking at their new professor, Y/n, as if sorting what he wanted to say.
"What's a bat doing out of the dungeons in the middle of the day?" Y/n said sarcastically, looking at him for a moment with a small smirk on her lips.
"I wasn't expecting to see you back at Hogwarts" Severus dryly said back, not impressed by her joke as if it was the thousandth time he heard it coming from her.
"Ah... it's been a while, hasn't it, uh?... When was the last time? Your seventh year?during your graduation maybe?" she asked curiously as she compiled some paperwork.
"No" the man just said with his usual flat voice "In the middle of the war. We met at London by chance. Near Christmas."
At those words, something in mood shifted subtly. She stopped writing, her eyes were staring at nothing in particular, blinking furiously, as if trying to erase an imagine that had formed in her head, and her pointer finger started tapping anxiously on her leg.
"Ah-! Really?! On the middle of the-..." she coughed and too a bottle from her bag, the one with the dark liquid Ron, Harry and Hermione saw the previous day.
Professor Y/s stood up then "Wow, I didn't remember that..." she walked towards the door and looked at her colleague "Now I'm sorry Severus, but I must leave, I hope will have time to talk later." and with that she disappeared.
Snape stood there for a moment, processing what had just happened, as if he came there just to confirm something. He, then, turned around and walked away without a word, his back a little more tense than when he came.
"What is the truth? A secret the dying ones carries with them"
[Søren Kierkegaard, The Diary, 1834/55]
next parts: part 3! part 4! part 5!
AUTHOR's SPACE
I finished this chapter really late last night... i think it's the longest i've ever written...
I'm tired from taking care of my nieces and life in general... I'm too young for this 😭
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The Great Hall was buzzing with live; laughter could be heard from every corner of the room. The Sorting ceremony had just ended and the children, now sitting in their new house table with their housemates from every year, were laughing and eating, happy to finally be at Hogwarts.
Harry was still shaken by his encounter with the Dementor and what it could have happened if the new professor, he didn't quite remember the name, hadn't been there. Ron continued to talk to Hermione about things he wasn't quite catching up with at the moment.
This frenetic energy slowly started to fade as a man stood up from his chair in the middle of the professors' table. Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts started his usual speech for the beginning of the year:
"Welcome, welcome to another year at Hogwarts!"
He greeted the new students, wishing them that their first year will be just as marvellous as they imagined. Right after he greeted the older students, hoping for them to have a great year and to set an example to the younger students, who will slowly get used to get around such a big school and to learn the school's rules.
That is when the white-bearded man started to announce the changes for this school year. "We have the pleasure to have with us, this year, three new teachers" He said warmly "who, i hope, you'll treat with the respect and dignity they deserve. Please, kindly welcome Professor R. J. Lupin, who's accepted to attend the role of your Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher. Good Luck, Professor."
The man Albus just called, Lupin, stood up so that all the students could recognise him. He was a singular man. His face was pale and marked by scars that healed long ago he, perhaps too long ago for him to care about them anymore. Or that's what he wanted others to believe. His hair was light brown, but among the strands, it could be seen, if paid some more attention, some greying locks, maybe from age or maybe from stress, since his eyes, despite the excitement of this new 'adventure', looked a bit tired.
"Of course! That is why he gave you the chocolate!" Hermione exclaimed to Harry, as Ron and him are still looking at their new professor that already saved them just some hours ago.
"Potter! Potter!!!"
A boyish voice called from behind them. There, at the Slytherin table sat Draco Malfoy, looking smug as always, who was looking at them as if they were jesters, there only to entertain him.
"Is it true you fainted?" the blonde boy said, smirking as one of his friends made a fainting sound, "I mean... you actually fainted?" he snickered again.
Ron grabbed Harry's shoulder and made him turn around, making him give his back to the Slytherin table while saying "Shut up, Malfoy!". Harry on the other hand was slightly embarrassed, muttering "How did HE find out..." as Hermione tells him to just forget about it.
Dumbledore continued: "Professor Kettleburn, our Care of Magical Creatures Teacher for many years, has decided to retire in order to spend more time with his remaining limbs" The Headmaster explains "Fortunately, I'm delighted to announce that his place will be take by none other than our own Rubeus Hagrid!".
As Dumbledore finished announcing him a sturdy man, perhaps half-giant for how tall he is, with a big beard clumsily stood up, following the example of his colleague, and made the table shake, getting a few glances from the professors near him.
"And for last, but obviously not the least" Dumbledore said "Professor Sprout has decided to leave to pursue her doctorate... we are not aware if she's going to come back, but until than, Y/n Y/s will be your new Herbology professor! Please welcome all of them warmly, both new and old faces!" Albus ended the presentation and the last new teacher stood up.
She was dressed elegantly in some black flared pants, with golden details and golden buttons, and a silky green blouse. As she rose a light metallic sound could be heard across the room, not something everyone could notice, but the ones that were paying close attention, Harry, for example, could swear they saw a glimpse of a metallic prosthetic leg from under the table.
Her hair was long, of a soft Y/h/c colour, and neatly brushed, like she had to erase any imperfections for some reasons. She looked at the students of all the houses with a sarcastic, almost sardonic smile that didn't fully reach her Y/e/c eyes, which seemed to stare straight into the soul of the poor children who looked for too long in her way. Her hand slightly twitched in what seemed to be a tic that the trio almost didn't notice. Harry thought, for a moment, it might have been the nerves, standing there in front of the whole school, but Hermione didn't seem convinced of that.
Harry looked away quickly, but the feeling of her eyes on him didn't seem to fade.
"She won't make it easy for us this year" Ron mumbled to the two as he went back stuffing his mouth full of food as if the only one feeling that incumbent presence was Harry. Hermione scoffs "You're always exaggerating thing... and stop speaking with your mouth full..."
The woman, then, sat back down, her smile gone and replaced by a calm, unreadable expression.
That is when the Headmaster started speaking again.
"Dear Students, as you may have noticed things at Hogwarts will be not be the same as always. Sirius Black has managed to escape from the fortress prison of Azkaban. For your safety, the Ministry has sent to guard, outside the walls of the School , Dementors. But you shall not fear, because they are not allowed to enter in the school's territory. Let me give you a word of caution: Dementors are vicious creatures. They will not distinguish between the one they hunt and the one who gets in their way. Therefore, must i warn each and every one of you to give them no reason to harm you. It is not in the nature of a Dementor to be forgiving. But you know, happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light." Albus explained calmly, with a kind expression on his face as he tried to maintain the peace in the room.
The room remained silent after that, as if digesting the new information.
As the trio looked between each other's, trying to prepare themselves mentally for this new year, Harry could still feel that sensation on the back of his head.
She was still staring at him.
This year in Hogwarts already sounded like a new mystery as their previous ones and it had just started.
Nous voulons, tant ce feu nous brûle le cerveau, plonger au fond du gouffre, Enfer ou Ciel, qu'importe? Au fond de l'Inconnu pour trouver du nouveau!
[We want, for that fire that burns in our brains, to dive into the abyss, Hell or Heaven it doesn't matter. Down into the Unknown to find the New]
Charles Baudelaire, The Flowers of Evil, 1857/61
AUTHOR's SPACE
This is my first EVER story in english, i really hope you'll enjoy it, just as much as i'm enjoying writing it! (the online dictionary has become my bff after searching for i don't even remember how many synonyms 😭😭)
I was thinking of posting this story even in my native language (Italian)... it would quite be a literal translation, but maybe it could be useful (both for people that are approaching the Italian language by having both the Italian version and the english and for my Italian people who just want to relax their eyes and read in their language without having to translate everything in their head SHAHSHS)
I'm probably saying too many useless things... well, feel free to comment, if you'd like! and don't hesitate to tell me if you see something written wrong!
may your day be filled with joy ❤️
tell me if you want to get tagged to be notified for the next parts of the story ❤️
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