i put the pro in procrastinating

source: im a grad student. i’ve had a lot of school. also i’m adhd & mentally ill and require +8 organization. this is mostly directed @ college students, but maybe high school students can use it too, fuck, idk, it’s been forever since i was stuck in that hell hole

you are not a burden

you deserve happiness

you deserve to be listened to

you are so strong

you are kind

you are amazing

your situation right now is not your forever

it’s going to get better

your best is good enough

you are good enough

you are beautiful

you deserve to live your best life

you’re working so hard

you’ve gotten through everything that has been thrown at you so far; you can get through this too

you are worth so much

you are wonderful

you can choose positivity 

your past does not define you

your mistakes do not define you

your grades and achievements do not define you

your mental health does not define you

your struggles do not define you

it’s never too late to try again

it’s never too late to start

you are cared for

you are valued

you are so important

i am so proud of you

there’s nothing wrong with feeling demotivated, so please don’t punish yourself for that – everyone, even the most successful people in the world, can fall into a slump

you can do it

i believe in you

it’s not going to be as bad as you think

don’t place too high expectations on yourself, especially when you’re feeling low

set small and specific goals – little steps are always important

print out or write down what you need to do and put that note where you know you’re going to see it

set yourself a specific time for when you’re going to start working on something, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself if you’re unable to

see what others are doing and achieving, and use that as motivation instead of comparing yourself to them and putting yourself down

call for help from others to cheer you on when you can’t do it on your own

counter your negative thoughts with positive ones

think about the benefits of doing the task, instead of the difficulties it will take to get there

take deep breaths and take a step back when things become too overwhelming or the stress takes over (here’s a written breathing exercise, or a gif you can breathe along with)

take breaks, don’t overload yourself

if you think that your schedule is becoming more and more of the same thing every single day, that can heavily impact your motivation - so try your best to try something new, or even just do something that you would usually do in a different way, or with a different outlook; it doesn’t matter if the change you make is big or small, because every attempt goes towards progress

when you’ve completed what you needed to, or even just worked at it a little bit, make sure to congratulate yourself, because you’re trying and i’m so proud of you for that

try your best, because your best is good enough

i have autism! i make cool art (like the dandelion dragon pictured above) and love amazing people and i have to do things slantways sometimes

because i live with executive dysfunction. it is the symptom that single handedly disrupts my life The Most

i have, by trial and error, worked out a method for doing Things. i am sharing this method with you because nobody ever told me this stuff and maybe i can save someone from reinventing the wheel

🌱Basic Principles🌱

you are already trying your best

your best is good enough

you are good enough even if you never ever manage to do The Thing

i am already Proud Of You

your limits are real and you aren’t making them up. i believe you. i need you to also believe you

“should” is a dogwhistle for gaslighting yourself. when you say “i should be able to….” that is when you know you have started making decisions for somebody who isn’t you

🌱Step 1: Accept Defeat🌱

“root” i hear you say, “that is the opposite of what i want. this is a shitty method”

well tough titties. if you had all the answers you wouldn’t be reading this guide

The Thing is already insurmountable, too big to look at straight on, too overwhelming, panic-inducingly huge

otherwise you would have done it already

right?

right.

so just start out by accepting that you aren’t going to get it all done today

it’s hard. it gets to be hard. if you could by sheer force of will make yourself able to do the thing, it would already be accomplished. stop trying to Will Yourself Abled and start meeting yourself where you are right now in this moment

it does you no good to make life choices for a person who doesn’t exist, so start living in your own skin

🌱Step 2: Scheme🌱

write out all the steps to complete The Thing

then write out the steps to the steps

then the steps to those steps

this may be an entire days worth of get-up-and-go

it is okay to phone a friend! get help making your road map. my partner and i do this for each other A Lot

🌱Step 3: Bargaining🌱

look at the first steps and decide how much you can reasonably do in a day

now cut that shit in Half

that is your to-do list

🌱Step 4: Half Ass It🌱

if we can be Real Real for a Moment, none of us has whole ass available

that’s fine

whatever portion of ass you have will do

start on your to-do list

my to-do list has to be less than 5 things at all times or my brain short circuits and i can’t manage anything

that’s okay. sometimes you have to sneak up on your brain

🌱Step 5: Stop When Your Body Balks🌱

this is the hardest part because i can 100% guarantee you have not got as much as you wanted to done

stop anyway

if you are getting too confused to think through your task, or too overwhelmed to process input, or too pain, or too brainfog, or the Miasma Of General Distress has crept up and stolen your will to live

stop doing things. rest. drink water. lay down

i have to take 2-3 laying down breaks in an 8 hr day because my body is trash and i must Atone For The Sin Of Being Upright

but here is the thing. when you chronically overextend yourself, as every disabled person i have ever met does, you end up spending more resources recovering than you would simply resting

i don’t care if you’ve done enough! i don’t care if you don’t think you deserve to take a break! i don’t care if your mom’s cousin’s former college roommate Susan has a son with autism who can do your task while hopping on one leg and attending MIT !

don’t care. your body knows what it needs. start listening.

🌱Step 6: Rinse, Repeat🌱

by now, usually, something has gone Horribly Wrong

something unexpected happened, or was harder than you thought, or there were Additional Steps you didn’t count on. you couldn’t find parking, you don’t have the right form filled out, you ran out of trash bags, whatever

that is okay. progress over perfection. now you know the thing

return to the scheming step and scheme some more. go through the process until the thing is Done

🌻Step 6b: The Three Day Rule🌻

i have a rule for myself that runs as follows

“if i have a step i need to do, and i want to do, and i have tried for 3 days and still not done it, then i am not able to do that step unassisted

i need to ask for help or get accommodations for myself to continue”

sometimes that accomodation is supplies (like, i need a stool to sit on to take a shower, etc). sometimes it is moral support (i need somebody to sit with me and talk with me as i write down the list of steps) and sometimes that accomodation is somebody else doing that step for you

for example: i can’t listen to my own voicemails. i have tried every which way. i can’t do it. my best friend listens to them for me. sometimes That Is Just How It Is

here’s the thing though

accomplishing the thing at all is more important than accomplishing the thing the Right Way

even if your work around is silly. that’s fine. this is about making the things you need to do possible for you. not for other people. for you

🌱here is the method to the madness🌱

structure helps a Lot for me, and having a set method to figuring out how to tackle a problem cuts the spoons cost for doing the thing in half

the planning seems tedious at first, but it’s like a trial-run for your brain. going through the mental motions cuts down on the panic later, when you have to Do The Thing

over time, you amass a set of documents (even if theyre just bullet lists) of how to do things, tailored to your specific needs. keep those. slap em somewhere searchable. you can reuse them later

we already don’t have the spoons to get through life. spending extra energy fighting ourselves is miserable and inefficient

in conclusion

i hope this helps at least a little

1. See the good in your past. There will always be things that we wish had never happened; there will always be bad memories and things that we regret. But they are part of who you are – so accept that they have happened and celebrate the person they’ve allowed you to become.

2. Invest time in the things that bring you happiness. It’s important to identify the things that you enjoy, and that make you come alive, and are all a part of “you”. Spending time on those things will help to raise your self-esteem, as you’re valuing yourself when you pursue happiness.

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes. We all make mistakes - and when we think of them we cringe. But that doesn’t make you any worse than other people. Just try and learn what you can, and then move on with your life.

4. Stop criticising yourself. So often we’re really our own worst enemy. We look for our flaws, and we put ourselves down – instead of being understanding of our own limitations. It’s time to change that behaviour – so start loving yourself.

5. Listen to your instincts and intuitions. If you want to love yourself, you must listen to yourself. Pay attention to those instincts and your instant gut reaction – and trust that you are right when you hear that inner voice.

it’s okay to fail. it’s okay to not succeed on your first try. it’s okay to not be able to live up to society’s unrealistic expectations of you. it’s okay to have emotions. it’s okay to be human.

BUT

You know all those post-it notes that populate your world? I figured out a great way to get all of those things DONE. - I know someone else may have thought of it already, but oh well :)

Step 1: Write all the things you need to do on your sticky note

Step 2: On the back, write a number (these are points)

Step 3: Every time you do a task, take down the note and collect your points

Step 4: Once you collect enough points (10, 20, 50) cash them in for a treat! Make it fun! ADHD brains love fun!

If I want my afternoon cappuccino, I must collect 15 points.

Remember, keep it simple. Don’t just write “clean the house”. Try smaller pieces like “empty the dishwasher” and “take out trash”.