Slutwife

It is hard to believe there was a time in my life where I had never had a threesome, and the thought of two men taking me at once seemed like something that I would never go for. However, with ever vixen, there is a time when you get to experience two men at once for the first time, and know things will never be the same.

When I first meet my now hubby, it is safe to say my sex life was pretty bland into comparison to what it is now. Hubby was the adventurous one, he brought me out of my shell, and I love him for it. We had been dating for a while and our sex life was amazing. When hubby first brought up the idea of a threesome, in particular a two male threesome.I was shocked that he had asked me this, I wasn’t sure how to react. Honestly the idea had probably never crossed my mind, and I was curious as to why he would want to share me with another male.

I asked hubby where this had come from, and he explained that he had caught me staring at an attractive male earlier that day. I was a bit embarrassed I had been caught out, and I do recall the person he was referring to. I apologised for staring, but hubby assured me it was fine, and that he enjoyed the fact I was getting aroused by someone else. I felt a bit awkward so I laughed off the idea of wanting another man, and stated that hubby was more than enough for me.

Months passed and I never thought much of it and hubby didn’t bring it up again. One night, we were in bed, enjoying each others company and flicking through some porn as we fooled around. We got to one scene where a beautiful woman got taken by two men. I remember feeling how hard hubby got during this scene and this turned me on a little. We watched the scene and hubby bent me over similar to how the actress in the movie was, and my lord, it was a good fuck.

Months passed again, and we were out at the local supermarket and was caught off guard by the local firemen selling their calendars. You know the ones were they wear very little to raise money. They firefighter selling the calendar was very attractive and I must of reacted more than I intended, as hubby asked if I liked what I saw. I laughed it off and we went about our day, but in fact I did like what I saw very much.

That night, hubby and I were sharing some drinks, and he asked me if I enjoyed the firefighters today. As I had some liquid courage under my belt, I said it was a nice surprise. Hubby then asked me how I would feel if the firefighter was here now, enjoying drinks with us. Embarrassed and a bit tipsy, I said I would have a hard time concentrating. Hubby then asked how I would feel if the firefighter began to touch and tease me. I asked hubby how he would be, but in my mind I was picturing this attractive man feel me up and my heart was racing. Hubby asked me how big I thought his cock would be. I shyly said I don’t know. Hubby told me he thought he would have a big cock and it would look good in my mouth. This drove me wild, hubby knew I loved to suck a cock, it turned me on and made me feel sexy. Hubby could tell I was turned on, as I was having trouble responding to his questions. I asked hubby how he would feel and if it would bother him if I were to suck another man. Hubby explain to me, that he would be ok with it, as long as it was purely sexual and no feelings were involved. He told me, that we could use another man’s cock purely for my enjoyment and nothing more. He related it to how we use toys in the bedroom, to heighten our sexual activities. I hadn’t thought about it like that and it got me curious.

That night hubby and I had incredible sex, I sucked every inch of his cock and hubby got out my dildo for me to fuck myself with as i sucked him. Hubby kept telling me to fuck myself with it as if the firefighter was behind me fucking me as I sucked his cock. The sex was intense and both hubby and I came hard.

The months passed, and hubby and I fooled around a bit more with role-play and toy play, pretending someone else was joining us. We watched more threesome porn together, but not much actual conversation about taking it to the next level. Then one night, I was sucking hubby’s cock, with my vibrator on my pussy, pretending that it was someone we had seen that day, and I found myself begging hubby for another cock in my pussy. This was different begging than before, this was real, something had changed, I wanted a real cock and no more pretend.

After we had finished up that night, hubby asked if I wanted to take it to the next level. I told him, that I thought I was ready, but unsure how we should go about it, and that my mind might change in the moment. Hubby suggested that we find a guy, who we had no connection to, someone who we could cut away if need be, meet with them on social levels as many times as needed before I felt comfortable taking it further. I agreed to this and the hunt began. We joined some online dating sites, and began searching for our number three.

It took us a while, but eventually we found Mike. He wasn’t overly pushy online, never forced us to move faster than we wanted, was ok with keeping it casual, and was willing to play by our rules.It also helped that he was incredibly sexy. A couple of years older than me at the time, late 20s, dark hair, very fit, he was willing to share photos of himself.

After talking online for a few weeks, we decided to meet in person. Just casual, a coffee at a shop. This went well, I was extremely nervous meeting him and wasn’t sure what to expect. Hubby and Mike hit it off, they chatted, I mostly sat back for this meeting. But overall I was still willing to go further.

We continued to meet up over the coming weeks. Coffee, lead to a drink at a bar, one drink led to two, and so on and so forth. I became very comfortable with Mike, able to talk to him, and he was very patient to move with our speed. After a these meet and greats, hubby and I would book a hotel room for when we meet up, just in case something happened. The first few nights we meet for drinks, nothing really happened, a kiss goodbye, a hand on the leg, this all got me going, but nothing to completely send me over the top.

I think it was our fourth meeting/hotel booking when that all changed. Hubby and I checked into out hotel, and went down the road to a quite bar to grab a drink with Mike. The conversation and drinks were flowing and I was really enjoying the company of the two men around me. After about my third or forth vodka, I felt the urge to dance. I asked hubby if he would mind Mike taking me for a dance. Hubby agreed and Mike was more than willing. We made our way out to the dance floor and began to dance. At first it was slow and there was plenty of distance between our bodies, the kind of dance you would do at high school, when you were awkward. But as the songs progressed, our bodies got closer and the seductive grinding began. I had Mikes leg between mine and was grinding on it, his hand was on the small of my back, pushing me into him. His hands kept sliding over my butt and caressing my cheeks, I was incredibly turned on. We danced like this for awhile, before returning to hubby. I sat down between the two men, and hubby told us he had enjoyed our dancing.

This comment from hubby seemed to encourage me, I lent over to Mike and told him thanks for the dance and proceeded to kiss him on the lips. It was a quick kiss, but as i pulled away from his lips, I paused, then moved back in and kissed him passionately. My tongue entered his mouth, and I felt his tongue push back on mine. We continued to kiss for a while, our tongues darting around each others mouth. I stopped kissing him and turned back to hubby, he was smiling. I leant in and kiss him passionately as well.

I was extremely turned on at this point, I looked towards hubby and asked, that maybe we take this back to the hotel room. Hubby agreed and we invited Mike back, and just as with the dancing, Mike was more than willing.

We got back to the hotel room and I began to get nervous and shy. I was very confident down in the bar, but this was more intimate and I was sure what was going to happen. Hubby saw this and asked if I was ok, and perhaps we should get a drink out of the mini bar. I agreed to this. Mike was sitting on the couch in the room and he told us the room we had booked was very nice. Hubby told him that it pretty much had everything, including a spa in the bathroom. This gave me an idea, and I suggested that maybe we go run a spa. I thought this may relax me, and if this didn’t go any further, at least I would see Mike with minimal clothing on.

Mike and hubby stripped down to their underwear, it was my suggestion that we keep something on, as I still wasn’t sure how ready I was. Hubby walked over to me, and asked me if I was ok, and if we should continue. I told him yes and asked him to help me out of my dress. and there I was, standing there in front of hubby and mike in my underwear. I was wearing a black lacy bra and marching cheeky cut panties. I caught myself staring at the almost naked Mike, his body was fit, 6 pack and a nice chest, and I could make out the outline of his semi erect cock. He was also staring at me, I began to blush.

Hubby went back to getting us drinks, and he asked maybe we should do a shot to loosen up a bit before getting in the spa. I thought this was a good idea. We got some tequila out, but couldn’t find any shot glasses, and the glasses that were in the room, were already full of the drinks that hubby had previously made. Hubby then suggested that we could use me as the shot glass and do some body shots. I looked over at him and he had that cheeky grin on his face, making me realise this was his intention all the time.

I walked over to the bed and laid down, hubby walked over with the tequila, opened the bottle and poured a little in my belly button. I had been years since I had done body shots. The liquid was cold on my skin, this added to the goosebumps that already covered my nervous body. Hubby told Mike he got the first shot as he was the guest. Mike dropped to his knees next to the bed, placed his lips over my belly button and took his shot. His lips where warm on my cold body, and I could feel his tongue moving against my skin to get all of his shot. This was so hot, my back arched a bit and a let out a little moan. Mike stood u and hubby announced it was his turn for a shot. He poured more tequila on me and proceeded to use his tongue on my body. My heart was racing and I was so very wet.

I assumed it was my turn to take a shot, so I moved to get up. Hubby stopped me and said that Mike looks very thirsty. I laid back down and hubby poured more tequila on me. This time he poured more and it trickled all across my body. Hubby told Mike to be quick, or it would get away. Mike almost pounced on me. He was laying on top of me, his head at my belly button, following the beads of tequila across my body with his tongue. This was so sexy, his tongue was racing all over my stomach. His head shifted lower on my body towards my panties and that was it. I knew this was happening, I wanted this, no more teasing, no more waiting. I pushed Mike’s head lower, his warm breath was now over my panties and pussy was wanting more. With one hand I pushed his head lower and with the other I pulled my panties aside, exposing my smooth pussy. And there it was, Mike’s tongue was on my pussy, another man’s tongue was on my pussy, whilst hubby was standing there with me, and fuck I think I may of just came right there and then.

Mike’s tongue felt amazing on my pussy, circling my clit, my thighs tightened around his head and I ran my hands through his hair. Hubby lent down next to me and start to kiss me. His tongue in my mouth, muffling the sounds of my moans. Hubby moved his mouth down my neck, across my chest and to my breasts. He pulled out my nippled from my bra and began to roll his tongue over them. This was amazing, a tongue on my clit and a tongue on my nipples, one alone was enough to bring me to climax, but the combination was amazing.

I reached down for hubby’s cock, fumbling around to release it from his underwear. I began to stroke his erect cock. Mike was still busy working my wet pussy with his tongue, I felt like nothing would stop him from doing the job. I guided Hubby’s cock to my mouth, I needed to suck it, I wanted it in my mouth. I began to suck hubby the best I could, I was having a hard time focusing on what I was doing with Mike’s excellent tongue work. Mike was bringing me to climax, I began to moan. I was moaning on hubby’s cock as I came, I felt the cock in my mouth begin to throb, as I reached the peak of my orgasm, hubby came hard in my mouth.

I swallowed hubby’s cum, and finished my orgasm. Hubby told me it was time to repay Mike for his oral work. I got up off the bed, and positioned mike on his back. I removed his underwear and witness his cock for the first time. It was large and thick and begging for my mouth. I climbed up onto the bed on all fours and began to lick and tease his cock. I wasn’t shy or worried anymore, I was completely lost in the moment. I continued to tease his cock with my tongue, I looked over to hubby who was watching me. He gave me the nod and I took all of Mike’s cock to the back of my throat. I was sucking this cock with all I had, I wanted to please Mike, wanted to get him as hard as I could, before he fucked me.

Hubby moved behind me, he removed my bra and then my panties. All three of us now were completely naked. Hubby laid down between my legs, grabbed me by the hips and positioned my pussy on his mouth. There were both men laying on their backs, me riding hubby’s face and sucking this strange man’s cock. I was grinding my pussy into hubby face with the same rhythm as I sucked Mike. It was’t long before my grinding pace quickened as I was about to cum again. I had to stop sucking Mike, I couldn’t concentrate, I needed to focus on my orgasm.

After I finished cumming, hubby got up and said, I think she is ready for you now Mike, better get back there. Mike got up, moved behind me, placed his hands on my hips. He slowly slid in me, it didn’t take much for my pussy to accept his thick cock, I was wet from two orgasms, and Mike’s cock was soaking from my mouth. He picked up his pace quick, and was fucking me hard from behind. God this strangers cock felt amazing in me. It felt perfect for my pussy. Mike was great, he knew exactly how to fuck me.

Hubby moved in front of me on all fours, his cock was erect again. Clearly he was enjoying the show. I took his cock in my mouth again. I was being taken from both ends. This was the first time I had been taking like this, this was what hubby and I fantasied about in the bedroom. This position. It was everything I expected and more. My pussy was getting the attention it deserved and my mouth had a cock in it. Two of my favourite things at once.

Mike’s pace quickened, I could tell it wouldn’t be long before he was cumming. That thought, the thought of another man cumming in me brought me to climax again. I stopped sucking hubby’s cock to enjoy my orgasm, as Mike came in my pussy.

Mike pulled out of me and before I could compose myself, hubby was now fucking me from behind. This transition took me from surprise. My pussy adjusted to the new cock in me. Hubby was fucking me in a way that I could tell, it wouldn’t be long before he too was cumming in me as well. The thought of being filled again by another guy saw me have my forth and final orgasm for the night. Hubby and I came together.

Hubby fell on top of me as he came. I was exhausted. We slowly composed ourselves. We got dressed. Hubby and I thanked Mike for a fun evening and we went our separate ways. Hubby asked if I had enjoyed myself, to which I replied yes, most definitely. I stated that there was probably now going back from that. Hubby smiled.

One of the most fun and exciting aspects of the slutwife fantasy and lifestyle is when the wife starts dressing like a slut in public. There are a few reasons why both men and women could find this very exciting. All the sexual attention will be focused on her which will draw into many primitive reproductive aspects for both husband and wife. In a sense, she is out and looking to mate, which brings out hormonal responses from her body, the husband’s body, and the other people looking as well, creating a chain reaction of excitement throughout the place. Sexual energy is amongst the most potent human drivers for accomplishments, status, beauty, power, etc. but we will talk more on that on a later post. For today, let us focus on the topic, a girl dressed like a slut brings out a lot of benefits for everyone around her. To summarize briefly, you want her more, she boosts her sexual confidence, and every guy wants to test his luck with her.

It goes without saying, everyone wants to look good and everyone wants to be with someone who looks good. So what is the issue? Why isn’t every single wife out there not dressed like a slut? Why do most men who fantasize about the lifestyle complain that their wives refuse to dress slutty like they ask them too?

These are all good questions who’s answers could vary slightly from one girl to the next. In general, it comes down to her self view, which tells her that she is not looking to mate.

To grasp this perspective, why are teenage and college girls more willing to wear slutty clothing than married women? There are a variety of factors, but in general terms, those girls are looking to mate on a hormonal level. They seek attention and are willing to show more to get it. So shy do most lose this when they get married? Well, because she is no longer competing for a sexual partner to mate with. She no longer needs the same raging hormones to drive her to seek the perfect mate.

There is a lot of evolutionary and psychological factors as to why this happens this way, but we won’t dwell on that since this is not science class. What is important to know is that her being married is not an end to your dream of seeing her dress like a slut. Below, we will cover some good guidelines to use so that you can help your wife to go from dressing like a prude to dressing like a slut.

1. Tell Her Why and Go Slow - As with anything regarding a person you love, this is not about manipulation, this is about doing something together. So tell her what you would like and why. Wording is key. Do not say, “I want to you look like a cheap hoe”, say, “I love your boobs and wish you would show them off a bit more. Why? Because you think she is hot and you love knowing you have something every other man wants. You love how empowered you feel when you can tell every guy desires her and how you get to take her home. You love how good she looks and you want her to feel as beautiful as possible. Do not expect her to go out looking like a slut just because you asked, this may take time, so give it to her. The more prude she has been, the more insecurities she may need to overcome, so don’t rush it.

2. Build Her Up - Confidence in her body will be one of the biggest obstacles women will face. So before trying to rush her into wearing a thong bikini, build her up. You should always be complimenting how good X body part looks and how hot you think she is. This only gets you so far, so getting her into increasing her exercise and fine tuning eating habits will go a long way over time if you both do it. Celebrate small accomplishments and ensure you compliment how she is looking much better. Her hair, nails, time at the spa, massages, etc are all ways to pamper and build her up. Think of her as being a slutwife already, so worship her body, treat her right, take her out, and love her. A happy wife is a sexy wife, and a sexy wife is a slutty wife.

3. Start From The Inside Out - Before ever attempting to have her wear that slutty attire outside, have her wear it inside just for you. She needs time to process how she looks dressed like that, so don’t rush it. Appreciate her effort and let her know how much you love the way she looks. She may be happy dressing up a bit for you at home, but even if she wants to, she may need time to build herself up to go out showing. This could be in a physical and psychological sense as well, so take your time with her at home. A second factor to starting from the Inside Out is her underwear. When it comes to going out, she is much more like to wear something sexy under her clothes that you know about but others don’t. For example, she is more likely to wear some really sexy lingerie underneath her normal clothes than she is to wear a micro dress. So as far as going out goes, start by asking her to dress sexier under her clothes and work your way out. Example, have her wear a blouse that she normally wears, but now with a push up bra. A skirt she normally wears, but with a thong.

4. One Thing At A Time - Unless she is open to it from the start, do not go trying to get her into a micro dress that covers less than a bikini. In other words, do not have her show everything at once. Ask her to focus on a specific area first. Assuming she has big boobs, have her wear a push up bra under a tight blouse that hugs her boobs without showing skin. Then you can progress to having her show off her neck with another blouse still wearing that pushup bra on another occasion. On a later date, she could show the top of her chest. Then a slights glimpse of cleavage. Etc. If she is more of a leg/butt girl, she can start by wearing a sexy thong under a long and loose skirt. Over time, her skirts should get slightly shorter and tighter. This application goes with jeans, going from loose to really tight and torn, to shorts, to micro shorts and skirts, etc. Bikinis, from one piece, to more revealing one piece, to two piece, to small bottoms, to thongs, etc. You should get the point now. Again, this is not a race, do not rush. Start from the Inside out, get her comfortable, pace yourself, and let her flow.

5. Talk About Reactions/How Proud Are You? - When she does go outside wearing something sexy she normally wouldn’t, make sure you compliment her before even stepping out. This builds her ego and confidence. Once out, take note of guys that check her out. Once back in the safety of your car, home, or someplace distanced from the guy, bring it up to her who you saw checking her out. You want to wait for the right moment so that she does not become self-conscious about it. Just tell her who you saw, what they did, and how proud you are that she is so sexy, and how much the whole thing turned you on. If possible, finish this off by eating her out and give her the orgasm of her life. Condition her to associate dressing sexy = male attention = orgasm, this will get her going the right direction.

6. Give Her An Excuse - If you want your wife to dress like a slut, give her an excuse. In other words, take her out. You want her to spend over an hour getting ready to look her sexiest, make it worth her time. Promise and deliver on a nice dinner and night of dancing (See post on Dancing). Make her correlate dressing up sexy with fun and attention, and she will want more of it. Also, take her to places where there will be other guys who can check her out, and remember to tell her what you saw afterward and how much it turns you on. Other excuses for her to practice wearing less are Halloween, role playing sex, trips to the beach, faraway vacations, etc. the more you give her an excuse to dress sexy, the more she will do it. The more she does it, the more attention she gets, the more you pleasure her.

7. Go From the Outside In - Assuming she became comfortable wearing certain slutty clothes out in public but she has reached her limit, now you must go from the outside in. So lets assume she has become comfortable wearing a short skirt that just covers her butt. She may have reached her current limit and may not want to wear a skirt any shorter than that because she would literally be showing part of her butt. Do not try to fight this, just flow with it. You can still buy her and ask her to wear a shorter skirt, but tell her to wear it at home for you. Same applies for blouses with cleavage, etc. wherever there is a limit, ask her to wear it at home. The second aspect of going from the outside is that once she reaches her limit of what she is willing to wear externally, you focus on what she wears internally. That is, her underwear. We covered pushing into getting her to wear sexy lingerie as often as possible, so assuming she is already doing that, focus on getting her to go bra less or panty less while still wearing clothes within her limits. Remember, only focus on one thing at a time, so don’t ask her to go and get rid of all her bras and panties, you will only ask her to either not wear one or the either until she is ok to move on. However, remember the end goal is not for her to be bra less or panty less, the goal is to get her comfortable feeling sexy and looking slutty. So if a push bra makes her feel her sexiest, stick to that.

8. Push Her Geographical Comfort Zone- As stated, we use the privacy of our bedroom as a safe space to start from. She should feel comfortable enough there to wear just about anything in front of you and know you will enjoy it. The next step is making her confortable in the living room. When she becomes comfortable wearing something for you in the bedroom, start guiding her into wearing it for you in the living room. The best way is by taking her there for sex. Then you can ask her to get you a glass of water while wearing her sexy clothes (the kitchen). Then you can move on to stepping into the backyard to hangout at night with the lights off. Then front porch at night with lights off. Then taking her for a drive at night. Then picking up food at a drive through. Asking her to go pay for something at a gas station. Etc. You repeat this process during daytime hours as well. The point of this is getting her comfortable wearing sexy clothes for you and expanding the comfort she feels in the bedroom to the rest of the world. Never make assumptions that just because she wore something similar or less clothing on one occassion, she will be comfortable wearing something else next time. With each item of sexy clothing, plan on starting at the bedroom and take any immediate progress as a blessing. The more comfortable she becomes with slutty clothes, the easier this will be.

9. Dont Be Cheap/Invest in Her- There is no way around this. If you want her to dress slutty for you, you can’t be cheap. She is not going to dress as sexy as she can for you to take her to McDonalds. She is not going to feel confident wearing a dress you picked up at the dollar store. She is not going to be feeling very sexy with those 2 dollar panties from Amazon. She is not going to look forward for a date at a truck stop dive bar. If she is going to put in the work, show her you will too. So buy her a nice sexy dress that she will feel excited about trying on for you. Buy her that sexy lingerie that makes her feel like a sex goddess. Get her those high heels that she has been staring at. Invest in her. Now don’t go broke either, don’t sacrifice your livelihood trying to make her a slut, cause it will have the opposite effect. Plan accordingly and invest money in buying her nice and sexy things you want her to wear for you in public. For training purposes only, you can buy her cheaper and sluttier stuff she will only wear in the bedroom, but don’t be cheap when expecting her to wear something out in public for you.

10. Let Her Go Alone - When she is comfortable wearing something out with you, ensure she is comfortable wearing it without you. Meaning, if she wears something sexy at the bar with you, go to the restroom and leave her alone a few minutes. Let her experience how safe she is being alone dressed like that. If someones hits on her, tell her how sexy she is and how much it turns you on that every guy wants her. When possible, ask her to wear something sexy to work, even if it is just lingerie. Ask her to wear a sexy skirt next time she goes shopping. Have her wear one of those new smaller bikinis at the pool. Have her wear those shorts you love around your friends. Create personalized scenarios where she wears her sexy clothes, then give her time alone with other men. Show her you are not jealous, you trust her, and any attention she does get only turns you on. The more she gets to do this, the more confortable she will become around other men who check her out.

The fantasy of having a “Hotwife” is growing, in fact, research shows it is growing at a higher rate than a good majority of the other lifestyle alternatives, including the old staple of “swinging” and the modern “open relationship”.  Why is it that a fantasy that revolves around only one part of a relationship – the woman – going out and finding pleasure from another man more intriguing to an increasing number of men than going out and “getting some” for himself?  

Basic psychology tells us that men are highly competitive creatures.  They have a drive to compete with other males of the species for the best mate – this isn’t so much different than what happens in the animal kingdom.  Most men have an innate drive to compete with other men when it comes to the “best mate” or the “most attractive woman”.  With this being said, one of the reservations of most women who find out about their husband or partner’s Hotwife fantasy is that he is somehow “weaker” than the rest because he wants to give up his position as your only partner.  Is this really true, though?  Could the truth lie somewhere within today’s man’s loss of natural competition in everyday life, and a desire to maintain a level of competition after marriage or “monogamy”?  Is this weakness, or rather the ultimate confidence?  

Cuckholding aside, because this aspect of the fantasy requires a bit more in terms of a “woman led” relationship, and a bit more from the man in terms of a desire for mental sadomasochism, a good majority of men enjoy the idea that they have been able to “capture” the best mate and even when she’s out having amazing physical and emotional experiences with men who may have qualities that actually supersede their own – a better body, a larger cock, youth, more prowess in bed – their woman actually WANTS to come back to them at the end of the night.  While most Hotwife-Husbands do get some level of turn-on from the jealousy and the possibility that their Hotwife may actually be enjoying their dates more than they enjoy being “at home”, the overwhelming desire is the competition and the “win” in terms of having a wife who chooses them again and again even after being allowed to go out and have other men.  

As Hotwives, we may be the focus of the fantasy, but there is that deeper and more psychological desire of a man who, even after committing to one woman, is able to compete with other males sexually.  This is why the desire for “reclaiming” a Hotwife after a date is so strong – it’s actually been scientifically proven that men who are able to reclaim a partner after she has been with someone else have an increase in testosterone levels, which means stronger desire, more powerful erections, longer lasting erections, and an overall stronger sex drive.  So, what does this mean for us as Hotwives?

He Enjoys the Jealousy, Go with It

As women we’ve learned that inducing some jealousy can actually be a good thing when it comes to dating – before we’ve found our “person”.  We use our female prowess to keep the men who we are seeing guessing…why?  Because they seem more interested in us when it seems as though we may not be 100% there.  So, if this works in the dating world, why wouldn’t it work once we’re married? In contrast, women typically don’t respond as well, or in the same way to jealousy – we tend to worry, question, and sometimes shut down if we feel that he might be “just not that into us”.  Naturally, because of our own feelings on the matter, we tend to avoid making our men jealous once we’ve committed to them, because we, ourselves don’t want to feel as though we’re in constant competition with other, more attractive, sexier, younger, etc., women.  Why would we do something to the man that we love that we, ourselves, would hate?

For men, though, and especially those with Hotwife fantasies, jealousy is a big component and tool for us to keep our men hot and bothered.  Sometimes just the mere mention of being flirted with by that cute guy at our favorite restaurant, or our interest in the sexy personal trainer at the gym is enough to send our men into a sexual frenzy.  It doesn’t take a lot to feed the fantasy.  It’s not ALL about dates and recounting how well we got worked over in the bedroom (and how much we loved it), though that is the ultimate turn on for our men, it’s also about the little things – the mention of our interest in someone else, the sexy messages that we send to potential lovers or Bulls, the “tease” of how much we loved what our last Bull did for us and how much we’re looking forward to doing it again.  Remember, this ignites the “competition” element of things, which is natural for men.

The More You Enjoy it, the More He Enjoys it

You may be thinking, “But I’m doing it for him, I’m not doing it for myself” (a common theme by A LOT of Hotwives), but in reality, our men WANT us to enjoy our encounters. They want to hear about what this “other guy” did for or to is that sent us over the edge, and yes, they want to hear what we liked better about the “other guy”.  I know it seems crazy, because we don’t want to imagine our men, even if we did allow them to be with other women, thinking that their “others” were better, sexier, hotter or had something that we don’t.  That’s because we don’t have that “competition drive” like our men do.

Let’s face it, despite what our men tell us – “It’s all about your pleasure” or “I don’t get anything out of it unless you’re enjoying it, because I love you so much” – this isn’t some ultimate “unselfish” thing our men are doing for us.  These things come out of their mouths, but what they are really saying is “I want to know that you came three times while he was fucking you, and you STILL want to come home to me”.  It’s their kink, and we have to understand it.  

So, if you’ve actually taken the step into the world of Hotwifing, you’re going to have to learn how to properly tease your man into believing that, just maybe, your Bull was better than him in some ways.  Whenever you think “But I’m only doing it for him”, follow that us with “I’m doing it for him and he WANTS to know that I absolutely enjoyed it”.  Find some aspect of your encounter that was mind-blowing, and recount, in great detail exactly what it was that sent you over the edge.  This may require a little bit of embellishment, and that’s OKAY…trust me…embellishment is your friend in this situation.  Tell your man about your Bull’s amazing cock, how good if felt, how good he tasted, how fantastic he was at oral sex, etc.  These are the things that will ramp up that competition streak in your man and make him want to reclaim you with increased vigor and desire.  

The More You Want Someone Else, The More Your Man Wants You

Again, you’re playing on the competition and the teasing aspect of things here…  The more that you act as if you WANT to be a Hotwife, the more that your husband or partner is going to WANT you.  His desire for you is going to skyrocket, his sexual desire for you is going to make it so that he’s ready to chew his own leg off to get you back in bed.  I have experienced this firsthand many times…if I am completely honest about an “encounter” and admit to “D” that my Bull was lacking in some way, or I didn’t quite “get there”, he isn’t nearly as turned on as when I tell him about how amazing things were.  I don’t like or believe in lying, but I do advocate for being selective and stretching the truth…maybe your lover wasn’t the best at giving oral sex, but maybe he was an amazing kisser, so a good answer would be “he was amazing with his mouth” and leave the rest up for interpretation.  

We’re women.  We are strong and capable and we are smart.  And the truth is, this is a GAME we are playing for and with our husbands/partners, so we need to get our heads into the game. Furthermore, this is an intellectual game, and we need to use our intellects to get to where we want to be.  Where do we want to be?  We want to have a husband/partner who is absolutely drooling over us, believes we are the ultimate sexual goddess, and in is jealous enough to realize that in order to “compete” they will need to step up their own game in order to “keep” us satisfied – be that with amazing sex, extra romance, other rewards, or all of the above.  

Happy Hotwifing!

I get a lot of questions about how to approach the lifestyle. Here's some suggestions that should work for everyone.

Encouraging your wife to sleep with other men, especially if it involves introducing a consensual non-monogamy or hotwife dynamic, requires careful thought, empathy, and open communication. It’s essential to prioritize her comfort and desires while ensuring that both partners are fully on board with the idea. Here’s a step-by-step guide on how to approach this conversation and encourage her without making her feel pressured:

1. Self-Reflection: Understand Your Own Motives

Before initiating the conversation with your wife, it’s important to be clear about your own motivations. Ask yourself:

Why does this dynamic appeal to you?

Is it something that excites you emotionally and sexually, or is there a deeper need you are trying to fulfill?

How do you feel it will affect your relationship, and what are your expectations?

Being clear about your own feelings will help you communicate more effectively and address any concerns she might have.

2. Create a Safe Space for Open Communication

The key to encouraging your wife to explore something like sleeping with other men is ensuring she feels safe to express her thoughts and emotions without judgment. Set up a time to talk openly about your desires, but do so in a way that allows her to explore her feelings too. When you bring it up:

Choose a time when both of you are relaxed and not distracted.

Frame the conversation around mutual exploration, not an obligation or expectation.

For example, you could say, “I’ve been thinking about ways we can continue to explore our sexual connection and fantasies together. I was wondering how you feel about exploring the idea of being with other men, but only if it excites you and feels right for you.”

3. Frame It as a Joint Exploration of Pleasure

Focus on the idea of mutual pleasure, not just your own. Emphasize that this isn’t solely about your fantasy, but about exploring her sexuality and desires in a way that excites both of you. You can say something like:

“I want us to find new ways to enhance our connection and discover what turns you on. If being with other men is something you’d like to explore, I’d love to support you in that.”

Highlight that the dynamic should be fun, pleasurable, and something she has full control over.

4. Gauge Her Comfort Level and Listen Attentively

After introducing the topic, give her space to express her thoughts. She might be intrigued, unsure, or even uncomfortable with the idea initially. It’s crucial to:

Listen actively to her reactions and concerns.

Reassure her that there’s no pressure to act on the idea unless it genuinely excites her.

Respect her boundaries if she’s hesitant or uninterested.

If she’s curious but unsure, suggest taking it slowly or discussing the idea over time rather than jumping into anything quickly.

5. Emphasize Her Autonomy and Comfort

Make sure she understands that this dynamic is about her having full control over her decisions. You can say:

“I want you to feel empowered and free in any decision you make. Whether we explore this or not, it’s important to me that you feel completely comfortable and in control.”

This reassurance will help her feel more comfortable considering the idea, knowing that she can explore at her own pace.

6. Start with Fantasy or Hypothetical Scenarios

If she’s open to the idea but uncertain about taking immediate steps, you can begin by exploring the concept through fantasy or role-play. Engaging in hypothetical discussions or erotic scenarios might help her feel more comfortable with the idea before it becomes a reality.

Role-playing or dirty talk about being with another man could be a first step in gauging her level of interest.

Erotica or films: Watching content together that explores non-monogamy or hotwife themes might help her envision the experience in a safe, fictional setting.

7. Take Baby Steps, Respecting Her Pace

If she’s willing to explore, it’s important to take things slowly and respect her pace. You could suggest:

Flirting or chatting with other men without any pressure to take it further.

Attending social events where she might receive attention, but without the expectation of anything sexual happening.

This gradual approach allows her to dip her toes in and see how she feels about the dynamic without any pressure to jump in all at once.

8. Discuss Boundaries and Expectations Together

Once she’s comfortable with the idea, it’s crucial to have a clear discussion about boundaries, expectations, and how both of you will handle emotions like jealousy. Some topics to cover include:

Emotional boundaries: How much involvement or emotional connection is allowed with other men? Is it purely physical or is deeper connection acceptable?

Level of involvement: How much would you like to be involved? Would you prefer to hear about the encounters afterward, or even be present?

Communication: Make sure there’s open and honest communication before and after any encounters to ensure both of you feel secure and understood.

Establishing boundaries will help ensure that both of you feel respected and emotionally safe during the process.

9. Reinforce Her Emotional Security

Consistently reassure her that your relationship’s foundation is strong and that exploring this dynamic won’t change the emotional connection between you. Let her know that her happiness, comfort, and security are your top priorities. You can say:

“No matter what we explore, my love and commitment to you remain unchanged. I want this to bring us closer, not create any distance between us.”

10. Be Prepared for Ongoing Discussions

As you explore this dynamic together, understand that feelings might evolve. Be ready for ongoing conversations about how things are going, whether any boundaries need adjusting, and how both of you are feeling about the situation. Encourage regular check-ins to make sure she’s still comfortable, excited, and enjoying the experience.

If at any point she expresses discomfort or unease, respect her feelings and be open to pausing or stopping the exploration entirely.

Conclusion:

Well, the year is coming to an end, so it’s time for this year’s top 5 book list.

Starting with the five MMF romance books I enjoyed most.

Sugar Daddies – Jade West

Swept - Alyssa Turner

Stitches - Sam Mariano

Three to Play – Lee Swift