lau @launotfound - Tumblr Blog

May 4, 2023

Chapter 1 Golden girl

Chapter 1 of Moonlight

A/N- The parallels between young Rhaenyra and y/n!! The parallels between young Rhaenyra and y/n!! Anyway, I really hope you guys like this new series. I'm really excited to share it with all of you!

Warning- Swearing, Aegon, FLUFF, LONG CHAPTER.

Pairing- Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon-Targaryen!fem-reader, Cregan Stark x Velaryon-Targaryen!fem-reader

Episode- 1x06

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

Perfect is how you’d describe this moment, soaring the white fluffy clouds hundreds of feet off the ground. The chilly breeze sweeping past you with all its might, and the bright shining sun kissing your skin with its warm rays of light.

If you had the choice to just fly all your life without consequence it’s something you’d take it. No royal duties, no man to marry, just your dragon; Astraea and you flying around the world. That’d be truly perfect.

Alas, much to your misfortune you have to get your head out of the clouds and descend back down to the ground. You have to hop off your dragons back and face life, responsibilities.

“Princess,” one of your handmaidens interjects at the exact moment your feet hit the ground. “Your mother Princess Rhaenyra, has given birth.”

You immediately grin with glee, and don’t fret to approach the handmaiden whilst you take off your glove from the top of the fingertips with your teeth. “What is it?” You ask in a muffled voice.

“A boy,” the Handmaiden shares.

Another brother…tsk.

Well he’s here now so there’s no use being upset by not having a sister. Yet again.

“What excellent news,” you retort, and peer back at your dragon with a soft smile softly and catch her gaze as she’s being taken back to the dragon pit. Your grin only widens as you catch how the sunlight bounces off her purple scales.

“Sweetest y/n,” an irritating voice breaks you from your stupor.

You sigh and roll your eyes ahead, catching your uncle Aegon approaching the dragonpit with a stupid grin on his face.

“I hope your flight was a pleasant one,” he adds and keeps approaching you.

You feign a smile. “It was,” you deadpan and head to your carriage that’s going to take you home. “Hello, Aemond,” you greet your other uncle Aemond. Unlike Aegon, Aemond isn’t much older than you, he just beats you by a year. And! He, unlike Aegon, is much nicer and respectful, making him your favorite.

“Hello, y/n,” Aemond greets you back with a stiff wave.

You shoot him a genuine smile and then stop in your tracks to add on. “You know, Astraea is almost big enough to saddle two. Perhaps when she is at the right size and you have yet to find a dragon, you can ride with me.”

Aegon scoffs beside his younger brother, but Aemond straightens up and lets his gaze linger before he sighs and responds. “We’ll see.”

You shoot him a grin and nod. “We will. Now excuse me I have to see my mother.” You take your first step up to your carriage, and Aegon takes his chance to cut in again.

“Perhaps later we can take a stroll around the gardens? Find ourselves down by the—”

“No Aegon,” you cut him off without shame and don’t even bother to look at him, you just walk in your carriage and slam the door shut.

Thereafter the carriage is ridden through the grande city that is your home, past buildings getting constructed, past workers, people wandering the dirt streets. You pass visitors strolling through the streets, you pass by different shops that contain some of the same things or completely different things. You pass families that make you wonder what it would be like if you were like one of them. A civilian worried just about living, someone who does not need to question why it is that your younger brother Jacaerys gets to be your mothers heir, and not you, her eldest child.

Is it really because you’re a woman? She is one too and she still is going to ascend the throne after your grandfather.

Your father says it’s because your mother doesn’t want to burden you with what she’s forced to now carry. But you don’t really believe it, who knows the truth as to why she didn’t choose you.

Because you’re simply not her favorite?

Because you don’t look like your brothers? Because you don’t have brown hair like them, or white skin like theirs because yours more so matches your fathers? Because your hair is white like his? And hers? Why, you ask yourself all the time.

Sometimes you wish you would’ve been born a bastard, maybe then you would have inherited the throne.

Regardless, you never ask her, nor will you ever do so.

You never let her see your affliction either, you push it back always. Like now for example, before you go see her you change out of your riding clothes and wear a lilac colored gown, you push all your concerns away and put on a smile that she liked to see on you, and finally knock on her door.

“Come in,” you hear her voice welcome you in.

You open the door and slowly poke your head inside, catching Ser Harwin inside handing the little newborn babe to your mother.

“Ah, my sweet,” your mother greets.

You beam at her and make a beeline towards her now holding the babe on the couch.

“Princess,” you hear Ser Harwin greet from behind you.

You pull your eyes away from the sleeping baby and throw him a mindless greeting. “Hello Ser Harwin.” You then quickly focus back on your brother and greet him softly. “Hello you.”

Your mother smiles softly and then looks up at you. “Y/N, meet your brother Joffrey.”

What an unusual name for him, but he does look like a Joffrey, so you don’t question it.

“You wish to hold him?” She asks you.

You meet her gaze and nod before you reach over so she won’t strain herself, and carefully cradle him in your arms. “Hi,” you greet him again, this time in a softer voice. “I’m your sister, y/n.” You giggle softly and look over at your mother. “He’s so adorable. So small.”

“Yes,” she agrees. “Smallest one out of your brothers, and you.”

You hum and shift around slowly, you keep your eyes on him and notice the small brown hairs on his head. You steal a glance up at the bulky knight watching you sway the babe and take note that Joffrey also inherited his features.

Another secret to keep.

“I’ll be taking my leave now,” Ser Harwin interjects.

You keep quiet and hear your mother simply hum in response before he walks out of the room, leaving your mother, Joffrey and you alone.

“Do you need anything mother?” You ask her and meet gaze. “More water? Food? A pillow?”

Your mother shakes her head. “No, I’m quite content right now. Thank you, my sweet.”

You take this time now and slowly sit down beside her, making sure to keep swaying him so he wouldn't wake.

“You stink of dragon,” your mother points out. “I assume you were out flying?”

“Yes, but I finished my teachings early so I had time,” you immediately explain to her.

Your mother hums. “Well I hope so, the Septa always like to complain that you never pay attention.”

You roll your eyes and meet hers. “Well maybe if she didn’t talk so slow then I’d actually enjoy what she has to teach.” You counter, making your mother laugh.

“Yes, her voice is quite irritating, but I just want you to pay attention to your teachings, okay?” She says.

You let out a soft sigh and nod in agreement. “I’ll try, but if Astraea needs me I simply cannot refuse her.” You look back at your sleeping baby brother and feel your smile soften. “I cannot wait to have a babe of my own.”

“Really?” Your mother questions. “When I was your age all I wanted to do was fly, be with my friends, and dream. I hated the thought of having children.”

You smile as your interest gets piqued and meet your mothers soft gaze. “Really?” You probe excitedly.

Your mother nods. “Yes. But that all changed when I found out I was having you,” she adds and gently nudges your arm.

You mirror her smile and turn to hand her back the babe ao you can be on your feet once more. “Well I do want to fly around the world, still. That would be great,” you tell her and walk around her to stop behind her. “Discover new places. See new waters. Different people.” You draw out a soft breath and pick up her long silver-gold hair to begin braiding it, just like Queen Visenya would wear hers.

“That sounds nice,” your mother goes along with your silly dream. “Perhaps you’ll be like Princess Nymeria.”

The corner of your lips pull to a smirk.

“Yet,” your mother adds on. “How can you voyage the world without finishing any of your teachings?”

You roll your eyes and feign a laugh. “Oh haha. Well I can be like a pirate, or I could travel with my father and have him do all the work.”

Your mother chuckles and nods in agreement. “I bet he’d like the idea of being out at sea.”

You hum softly, and then pause after you knit a strand of her hair with the other as you fall serious. “But really, what will I do? I mean…what will be of my life? Alicent says I’m almost at the right age to be married off. Will I have to leave you and be matched to some pampered Lord who just locks me away?”

A deep breath escapes your mother, she remains quiet for a moment before she pats the empty space you had sat at before. You don’t hesitate and let her hair fall to her back before you take the seat beside her once again.

“I know what it is to want to just hop on your dragon and fly off,” she begins to say whilst she shifts in her seat to try and be closer to you. “I understand what you feel. It’s normal to feel so, but I’ll tell you now something your grandmother Aemma told me when I was young.” She manages to cup your cheek, causing you to draw out a soft breath. “We have royal wombs you and I, my sweet, it is how we serve the realm.” She then presses her forehead against yours, making you smile softly and find comfort in her gesture.

“Besides, you are more daughter,” she adds. “You descend from the greatest line, you are the granddaughter of one of the greatest voyagers. I assure you that you won’t sit and do nothing, I promise.”

You nod in comprehension.

“And,” she continues. “With luck you won’t be sent far at all.”

You pull back and look at her with a pointed glare. “I don’t want to marry Aegon. I’d rather be sent to the wall than be married to him.”

Your mother chuckles and shakes her head. “Gods no,” she assures you, letting you let out a relieved sigh and lay your head on her shoulder. “Someone else,” she says. “I’ll find a match who deserves you. Don’t worry,” she whispers and lays her head on yours. “I’ll take care of you. I’ll make sure you have a good life.”

——

*LATER*

Most nights, when rain doesn’t fall from the sky, when the clouds don’t cover the stars, you like to sneak out of bed and climb up castle towers to watch the stars with the desire for more.

You like to feel the wind and pretend you’re far away, somewhere lost in the sky, or somewhere in the ocean. You like to breathe in the fresh air that hits the towers, and watch those few people walk the streets, or just the simple castle grounds. There are some nights that Aemond joins you, not a lot, but it is always him and no one else.

And it seems that tonight was one of those nights.

“Aemond,” you call with glee.

Said boy carefully and quietly climbs up the roof to sit beside you.

“I didn’t think you’d make it tonight,” you add.

Aemond shrugs softly. “I couldn't find sleep. I knew you’d be here so I thought I could at least pass time.”

You smile softly and nod in comprehension before you glance at the sky again. You sit in silence and find comfort in it, he was always someone that you could find comfort in. Without Baela and Rhaena here he was your best friend, someone you could confide in since it’s different with your brothers since they are young—maybe once they’re older you can behave like friends too, not just like the squabbling siblings you are.

“Do you think,” you begin to ask him out of fear even after your mothers attempt at comfort. “I’ll be sent away?”

Aemond pulls his gaze away from the sky and looks at you whilst you keep your eyes on the stars.

“What do you mean?” He asks.

You sigh and blink to look down. “I mean…I’m almost at the age to get married. Since I won’t inherit the throne or Driftmark, I’ll probably be married off to someone far from here.”

Aemond nods and follows your line of gaze. He’s unable to find something to say for a moment, but it then occurs to him. “We could get married. That way you’d stay here.”

You drift your eyes to him and muster a small smile. “We could.” Your smile widens at the thought, but it soon begins to fade as doubt once again overtakes you. “But if we don’t? Would you run away with me?”

Aemond hesitates and then shrugs. “I don’t know,” he says honestly. “We have our duties here.”

Your smile completely disappears at his answer, and your gaze drops to your fiddling fingers. “I’d run away with you if you asked,” you mutter and rest your elbows on your knees to rest your chin on your palms. “We could ride Astraea and fly far away.”

“Be what?” Aemond queries.

You shrug. “Whoever we want,” you throw out as if it was obvious. “Pirates. Rich lords. Dragon riders that discover new lands.”

Aemond scoffs. “I don’t have a dragon.”

You look over at him and nudge his arm. “You’ll have one. I know it. There are still many that are unclaimed, my mother says they rest at Dragonstone.”

Aemond meets your gaze and his lips tug to a smile. “If I asked you to fly me there would you?”

You smirk and nod. “Of course!” You sit up and then stand to your feet. “Who’d be laughing then, huh?” You try to comfort his own insecurities. “Aegon. That’s who.” You twirl around and then reach the top of the roof to begin balancing on it as you slowly walk on it. “There’s Sheepstealer, Greyghost, Silverwing, Vermithor, and the scariest of them all, Cannibal!” You exclaim and jump around, causing Aemond to reach his hands out in case you fell.

“Stop that,” he snaps at you while he follows behind you. “You’ll fall.”

You chuckle and turn around again to keep balancing on the top of the roof. “Who would you pick?” You ask.

Aemond hums for a second before he answers with slight excitement. “Vermithor, beside Vhagar, Vermithor is one the largest.”

You peer back and shoot him a smile. “Nice. I’d still win you in a race though.”

Aemond smirks. “Vermithor is larger, he has more experience as well.” He says smugly.

“But Astraea is smaller, not so heavy,” you quickly rebuttal. “So her weight wouldn’t slow her down.”

Aemond playfully rolls his eyes. “I guess we’ll see,” he plays along and then pushes you forward very gently, causing you to stop in your tracks to turn and try to push him, but he steps back with a laugh.

You giggle in response and try to move ahead, but in that moment you catch a glimpse of your father Laenor standing on a balcony below all alone.

“What is it?” Aemond asks as he notices your smile fall.

You lean your head forward to get a better view, catching your father reading a letter. “It’s my father,” you whisper.

Aemond carefully falls beside you and looks out as well to see what you’re seeing.

“Come on,” you urge Aemond and grab his hand to lead him back inside through the window you had climbed out of.

When you are in the safety of the hall you come to a stop and hold your breaths to listen for approaching servants or guards. When you hear no footsteps, or metal clinking against each other you breathe out, and then lead Aemond down the stairs. He makes sure not to let go so he won’t fall behind, or so he can quickly stop you if he hears someone approaching.

It’s only until you approach the door that leads out to the balcony your father is at that Aemond pulls his hand out of your grasp, causing you to turn and face him with a puzzled look.

“Go,” he encourages you. “I’ll go back to my chambers.”

Your eyebrows slowly furrow. “Are you sure? You could join us.”

Aemond shakes his head. “It’s okay, he’s your father.”

“My father won’t get us in trouble for being awake so late,” you try to assure him.

But Aemond remains insistent. “It’s quite alright. I’ll see you on the morrow.”

You don’t try and fight him anymore and nod in agreement.

“Goodnight,” he says softly, matching a small soft smile with his words.

You shoot him a sweet smile in return. “Goodnight, Aemond.” You then turn and join your father out on the balcony.

Albeit he doesn’t turn when he hears the door close, so you call out to him softly. “Father?”

Said man lifts his head and peers back, when he realizes it’s you he blinks in slight shock whilst a smile tugs on his lips. “Y/N? What are you doing here it’s late?”

You make your way to him and shrug. “I couldn’t sleep. And I….saw you down here alone so I wanted to keep you company.”

Rather than countering with a disapproval, your father begins to smile. “You were on the roofs weren’t you?”

You act shocked and clueless, but he sees through you.

“You gave it away when you said “down here” and you’re fiddling with your fingers.”

You look down and catch your involuntary act and stop right away whilst you stop beside him against the railing.

“I hope you remember what your mother says about being up there,” your father continues with a more serious tone.

“Well,” you quip innocently. “She won’t know if she doesn’t find out.”

Your father scoffs in amusement as his smile widens. “Alright. As long as you're careful though. Okay?”

You rest your hands on the stone railing and nod. “Always,” you assure him.

He hums and then looks ahead, causing his smile to fall and your curiosity to heighten. “Are you okay, father?”

Said man blinks in disbelief to your question. You’ve worried about him before, you, perhaps more than the other children. And that can be because you’re older and understand more, or because you are his only legitimate child. Whatever the reason, you were the closest to him out of the other two kids.

“I just miss my sister,” your father admits.

You hum softly and look up to the starry sky. “I know,” you begin to add softly. “Perhaps it’s not the same, but I miss my cousins Baela and Rhaena too. And when I do, I find comfort gazing at the sky, I watch the stars, the moon, and know that even if they’re far away we’re still close in some way because regardless of distance we all look up to the same sky, we all live under the same sky.” You flicker your eyes to your father and catch his gaze already focused on you with a small smile.

“That’s good,” he says softly and reaches over to pat your shoulder. “I’ve never thought of it that way.”

You mirror his smile and look up at the sky. He follows your line of gaze and smiles wider.

“Thank you,” he says.

You meet his gaze and offer him a sweet grin. “Of course. Now,” you add and lean back as you grip onto the railing. “Serious question.”

Your father scoffs softly and probes. “Okay. Share.”

“If I asked you to take me voyaging, would you?” You ask, and shift your gaze to the corner of your eyes and begin to smirk.

“Voyaging?” He questions.

You nod eagerly. “Yes!” You exclaim. “Voyaging. You could teach me how to sail. I’ve asked my grandfather Corlys, but he says I should instead learn how to sew correctly.” You huff and pull one hand away to lean back on one hand.

Your father chuckles softly. “You are terrible.”

“Well there are better things to do,” you grumble and roll your eyes. “Beside the Septa is such a prude—Anway…we wouldn't even have to go far, just maybe across the narrow sea.”

“Well,” your father sighs. “I don’t know how your mother would feel about that, but I can tell you one thing, I can teach you how to sail.”

Your eyes widen with joy. “Really?!” You let go of the railing and grab his arm. “You really mean it father?”

His smirk turns slightly smug and he nods. “I could.”

You squeal and turn to hook your arm around his. “And then you’d teach me how to wield a sword?”

Your father begins to walk you back inside whilst he answers. “Depends how well you master sailing.”

“Alright,” you nod. “Alright, I can accept that.”

“Can you accept going to bed?” Your dad jokes. “The hour is late.”

“Hm, I suppose I could. So when will our first lesson be?” You ask.

Your father meets your gaze and matches your smirk. “I’ll let you know.”

You smile and nod with content.

——

*THE NEXT DAY*

Soft thrashes echo around the courtyard as your brothers Lucerys and Jacaerys, and uncles Aegon and Aemond train against straw men.

You aren’t really allowed to be watching them, the Septa says that it’s a waste of time, “you’re a Princess.” she says. Pft, it’s boring going to lessons, besides you learn far more by watching the boys swing their swords. You like to memorize them and then mirror those same actions at night when you can practice with a wooden sword you stole.

“Soften your knees,” you hear Ser Criston tell Aemond. “Feet light. Keep your feet light and your hands heavy.”

You drop your eyes to Aemond’s feet and proceed to shift your own feet and mirror his stance. He then moves on so you look over at Aegon and watch him swing his sword, but he gets distracted by passing servants so you roll your eyes and focus on Jace.

However, you then get interrupted. “Princess, how are lessons today?”

Your shoulders jump, and when you peer back you see the friendly face of Ser Harwin walking past you.

You sigh and shrug. “I suppose well,” you tell him. “Ser Criston as always picks favorites.”

The knight hums and stops to turn and face you hidden under the shadows. “As always,” Ser Harwin says. “Where are you meant to be really?”

You begin to smirk. “Going to study High Valyrian. But I know it well, so I chose to take the long way there.”

Ser Harwin chuckles softly. “Alright, well keep your head low, you know how Ser Criston gets.”

You shoot him a happy smile and nod eagerly. The knight then walks away and joins the men at the courtyard, leaving you to your hiding spot like always. He never minded you secretly watching from the shadows, he was nice that way. Ser Criston on the other hand, “this is no place for a lady. Go.”

He’s such a prude too, he’s also an asshole to your brothers, and to Ser Harwin. Sometimes you wish to just stick a metal sword through his throat so he can shut up.

“….Let’s see if you can touch me,” you hear that same man say as you focus back on the courtyard. “You and your brother.”

You snicker and lift your head up higher to get a better view as Aegon and Aemond begin to fight against Ser Criston. And yes, he’s an asshole, but he’s an impressive swordsman, you’ve learned a lot from watching him.

It’s also funny seeing him beat Aegon and Aemond.

“Ah,” Ser Harwin interjects. “Weapons up boys. Give your enemies no quarter.”

Ser Criston notices Ser Harwin, and leaves Aemond and Aegon defeated to slowly makes his way to Ser Harwin.

“It seems the younger boys could do better with a bit of your attention…Ser Criston.”

Right!

“You question my method of—”

“Ah, young lady there you are!”

Seven Hells!

You jump away from your spot and spin around to face your Septa striding towards you with discontent and judgment.

“I’ve just lost my way,” you lie and begin to head back inside before she can pull your ear. “I was heading to lessons.”

Her footsteps follow you, and she counters back immediately. “No, you’ll go to your mother, she’ll know about your wrongdoings.”

Thank the gods! She never punishes you like she tells the Septa she will.

“Hello there y/n!”

Seven Hells…

You narrow your gaze and frown with disgust before you look over your shoulder and shoot Aegon that scowl.

He albeit chuckles like always because he thinks it’s some game. As if.

“Young lady,” the Septa begins to scold you as she quickens her pace to reach you as you grab the door handle. “He is the prince and your uncle. That is rude, and not ladylike whatsoever. Turn around and greet him back.”

You draw in a deep annoyed breath and stop in your tracks to turn around. He’s already looking at you, and so is Aemond. “Hello Aegon,” you greet him with a mono-tone. “Good Morrow, uncle.”

Aegon snickers, and Aemond joins in this time. You’d counter, but the Septa would only scold you again, so you pick up the side of your skirt to just turn on your heels and walk back inside.

Once you reach your mothers chambers you’re relieved to see her, but the Septa walks in and snitches.

“Princess Rhaenyra, I found Princess y/n at the training yard once again, watching the boys train instead of attending her lessons. Something must be done about her wild behavior, it is not lady like.”

Since you have your back turned to her you begin to smirk with pride.

“Ah,” your mother answers, “I’m sorry, Septa. I’ll have a word with her immediately, thank you for bringing the issue to my attention.”

The Septa hums in agreement before she excuses herself and leaves, letting you swipe the book off the table to turn and walk over to your mother to give her a hello kiss on the cheek before you turn your attention to your one day old brother. “Good Morrow, Joffrey, it’s so nice to see you.”

“If anyone asks, say I….” Your mother trails off as you sit by her and open the book. “I kept you from flying for a week.”

You giggle and nod as you turn the pages. “Okay.”

“How are they doing?” She refers to your brothers.

“Uh, Ser Criston as always ignores them, but Ser Harwin just joined them so they should finally begin to learn more,” you share. “How are you feeling?” You ask and look at her with concern.

Your mother glances at your brother wide awake and staring at her, before she gives you an answer. “I’m quite in pain today, the milk is quite uncomfortable.”

You frown since you can’t do anything to help her. “I’m sorry,” you mumble. “Is there anything I can do?”

Your mother meets your gaze and begins to smile softly. “No,” she shakes her head. “I’m quite fine. The girls should be here soon.”

Regardless of what she said you put the book down and walk over to the small table by the door to pour some water for her.

“I was thinking,” your mother interjects. “How would you like to accompany me when I attend the small council meetings? You could serve wine, as I did once.”

You meet her gaze with a slightly shocked look. “Really?” You ask as you walk back to her. “You mean it?”

Your mother nods. “Of course. They’re quite dreadful sometimes, but you want to be more involved so that should help.”

Your smile widens as you turn giddy. “Well, I would really love that. I think it’s a swell idea. Thank you mother.”

Your mother offers you a happy smile and watches you move a small table closer to her so it’s easier to grab the water while she’s holding Joffrey.

“Thank you, my sweet girl,” she thanks you, and caresses your hand as you join her back on the couch. “Now, would you read to me? I wouldn’t like you to fall behind on your Valyrian.”

This time without fuss you open the book back up and begin reading the words written on the pages. There’s a lot you know already, it’s just some pronunciation that you can’t get right at times. But your mother does offer her support so it makes it easier.

Not so soon after albeit the Wetnurse comes so she steals her attention away, and since the topic isn’t as attention seeking to you, you keep reading.

That is until one of her handmaidens walks in looking quite distressed. “Princess.”

You lower your book to your lap and listen intently.

“There’s been an incident in the yard. Ser Harwin got in a fight with Ser Criston after an argument broke.”

You swallow thickly and quickly snap your eyes to your mother, noticing her smile had fallen and her gaze lost its happy gleam.

“Okay, thank you,” your mother directs at her handmaiden before she stands up and hands Joffrey to the Wet Nurse. “Do as I said.”

The Wet Nurse leaves and your mother turns to face you. “You can stay here if it pleases you, my sweet, I’ll be back,” she says.

Without questioning her antics you nod to assure her, and choose to stay in her chambers as she leaves through a secret door she has in her room. One reason being you really didn’t want to go to your room, and two, well you were curious to know what happened.

Albeit you might have an idea as to what led to that fight. Ser Criston probably provoked Ser Harwin with insinuations about your brothers. That’s the only reason why you’d think Ser Harwin would risk his position and hit a member of the Kingsguard.

But honestly Ser Criston deserves getting hit, he’s a dick. Yes hitting him probably only adds fire to the rumors about your brothers and Ser Harwin, but no one knows how insufferable Ser Criston is to your brothers, you, or your mother. He doesn’t say anything, but he doesn’t have to, his dirty looks, his cold shoulder when he shows kindness to Aegon, Aemond, Helaena and Queen Alicent is enough to know he doesn’t like either of you. Who knows why?

Regardless, your mother returns shortly with a even more glum look painted on her face. Meaning she overheard nothing good.

“To ease the pain, Princess,” her handmaiden lets her know as she rinses the cloth.

Your mother remains quiet and lets the handmaiden help her, whilst she now breaks her silence to speak to you. “Why don’t you keep reading to me, yes? You were doing so good.”

“Okay.” You nod and do as she says. Even as singing begins to echo out in the hall, getting louder and louder, and also recognizable as the people get closer.

The moment you know it’s your father and his…Paramour, singing, you pause and end up sharing a knowing glance with your mother before the doors open and your father stumbles in with Ser Qarl.

“My dear wife,” your father greets with a chuckle. “My beautiful daughter.”

You look over at the man and offer him a sweet smile, noticing that he in fact is drunk; you can tell by his happy smile and his unbuttoned coat.

“Princess,” Ser Qarl greets your mother and then looks over at you. “Princess.”

“Hello, Ser Qarl,” you greet back, and then leave your book as you stand up since going off by the hardened look on your mothers face, what follows seems private and unpleasant.

“Oh…I fell down,” your father interjects and then snickers.

Yeah, he’s incredibly drunk. Again.

“I’m going to check on my brothers,” you let your mother know before you press a kiss on her cheek.

“Okay,” she answers and returns a kiss to your cheek. You then walk over to the door and stop by your father.

“Bye father,” you say with a smile regardless of his current state.

“Oh you’re leaving,” he counters and grabs your arm. “Why don’t you stay?” He turns to face your mother and then looks at Ser Qarl. “You should have heard what she told me last night. It was the sweetest thing.”

You grab his arm to gently slide your arm from his grasp. “I’m going to check on the boys, father, really,” you cut him off and go on your tiptoes to press a peck on his cheek. “Goodbye.”

“I’ll see you later then, my darling,” he doesn’t argue—or he just doesn’t have the right mind right now to try. Which benefits you, he’s drunk, he gets quite annoying when he’s so drunk so it’s good he didn’t insist.

Yet the curiosity in you does want to stay back and listen to what your mother was going to tell him—but no, you can’t. Besides, she probably would’ve told you to leave either way….

That doesn’t mean you can’t just snoop?

No, you can’t. You’ll know soon. You can’t give in to temptation even if it’s killing you. You can’t!

——

“…It is Lord Blackwood’s contention, therefore, that the Brackens moved the boundary stones in the dead of the night and put their horses to graze in his field.”

Okay, yes, the excitement of accompanying your mother to these small council meetings has quickly washed away. All they do is talk and talk over insignificant matters.

“Why was this issue not brought before Lord Grover?” Queen Alicent asks. “Has he grown so feeble he cannot settle a quarrel over rocks?”

The Lords and others have stopped asking for wine halfway through this damned meeting, making for a dull wait.

“I’ve heard a tale that Lord Grover’s son now rules Riverrun in all but name,” a Lord adds.

“Well, he is also a Tully and this remains a Tully problem,” Alicent says.

“I would agree,” your grandfather interjects, letting Lord Tyland now cut in.

“If we may move on, my lords—”

“And yet,” your mother cuts him off, continuing on with the previous matter. “The Brackens and the Blackwoods will use any excuse to spill each other's blood. So this dispute bears looking into. There will be countryfolk who know where the lines have been drawn for generations.”

“That is easy enough,” the Lord Hand agrees, causing Queen Alicent to scoff quietly in disagreement.

“Of course.” She shakes her head and takes a sip of wine with that same bitchy attitude she always bestows your mother, you, and your siblings. She doesn’t try to hide it either, making for yet someone else you dislike.

“Ser Tyland,” The Hand returns to his matter.

“Uh, we should address the latest developments in the Stepstones, my Lords.”

Your grandfather groans and comments with discontent. “Will we ever be shut of that blasted place?”

“If you ask me, I think the Blackwoods have the upper hand,” Lord Beesbury randomly cuts in with a topic already dealt with.

“We’ve moved on to the Stepstones, Lord Beesbury,” the Maester informs the old lord, causing you to look over at your mother to meet her gaze and share an amused look you hide quickly.

“And the Triarchy’s new alliance with Dorne,” Ser Tyland adds and makes sure to say it loud enough so Lord Beesbury can hear, only making you drop your head so as to hide your stifled smile.

“I was hoping our negotiations with Sunspear might persuade them to see reason,” your grandfather adds before coughing into his cloth. “To trust a Martell is to be disappointed.”

“And where, I wonder, is our Prince Daemon?” A lord asks. “Or I suppose I should call him King, as he styled himself when he won a battle there…once.”

You see the man smirk faintly as he fills with pride at his own comment. Only because the man he speaks of isn’t here. You’ve heard of his, uh, rash behavior, so you’d like to hear the Lord dare say the same thing with your uncle here.

He wouldn’t.

“…we have left it undefended,” you focus back on the conversation as your mother speaks. “There should’ve been fortifications built, watchtowers, a fleet of ships, a garrison of soldiers sent to hold our ground.”

“We cannot afford it,” Alicent counters. “Our coffers are great, but not infinite. We must consider the cost to our subjects.”

“I must agree—”

“The cost of war is greater,” your mother cuts Lord Beesbury off. “But we have been lax and the old monster now lifts its head.”

You drift your gaze to Alicent to wait for what she’d respond with, but a second of silence passes as she just glowers at your mother before she responds with ignorance. “Let us be finished.”

“Yes,” your grandfather breathes out with exhaustion, letting the other lords get up.

Albeit your mother stays seated and continues the meeting as everyone is out of their seats. “Wait. I wish to speak.”

You blink in confusion and focus on her as everyone except Alicent sits back down, and she stands up.

“I have felt the…strife…” your mother begins to say. “Between our families of late, my Queen. And for any offense given by mine, I apologize. But we are one house. And long before that we were friends.”

You glance at Alicent and see her expression has not softened whatsoever, she remains shooting glares and looking uninterested with what your mother has to say.

“My son Jacaerys will inherit the Iron Throne after me,” your mother adds on, making you look down at your hands clasped together, and sigh softly with…uneasiness. “I propose we betroth him to your daughter, Helaena. And my daughter Y/N will inherit Dragonstone when I ascend the Throne…”

You blink and look over at your mother at the mention of your name, feeling your face slowly release the tension you began to have on your jaw.

“I propose we betroth her to your son, Aemond.”

At the sound of this news finally your interest is piqued, and a soft smile breaks on your face. Not only that but your grandfather glances over at you to share the same happiness with his smile.

“Ally ourselves,” your mother adds. “Once and for all. Let them rule together.”

“A most judicious proposition,” your grandfather agrees with a smile.

Yet when you look over at Alicent, you don’t see that same joy.

“Additionally,” your mother goes on. “If Syrax brings forth another clutch of eggs your son Aemond will have his choice of them…a symbol of our goodwill.”

Your smile widens as you feel glad for Aemond having more chances to bond with his own dragon.

“Rhaenyra,” Alicent calls out with a serious tone.

You look over at Alicent and wait for what she had to say on the matter, but instead she goes quiet and just watches your mother, causing you to follow her line of gaze and notice that your mother was leaking milk.

“Oh,” your mother says as she covers her breasts. “Seven Hells.”

You glance around you to check if you had anything you could give her so she can cover up and avoid the stares from the men, but you had nothing to hand her. And that only makes you feel bad for her.

“My dear,” your grandfather interjects. “A dragon's egg is a handsome gift.”

“The King and I thank you for your offer and we will consider it duly.” Alicent bounces on after her husband. “You must rest now, husband.” She moves on to your grandfather's side, urging him to get up to finally end the meeting.

“Yes,” he agrees and gets up. Before he turns to walk away he stops before you and caresses your chin with a sweet smile on his face. “Have a pleasant day, darling.”

You beam at him and gently grasp his hand. “And you grandfather.”

He then gets walked out quickly, and the other lords scurry out soon after, leaving your mother and you to leave the room last.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mention the proposal before my Sweet. Do you like it though?” She asks you as you walk with her to her chambers.

You turn your head to meet her gaze and nod, noticing she looks even more upset now than seconds ago. Her gaze also looks distant. “Yes, I do,” you tell her. “Aemond and I are rather good friends. He’s very nice to me.”

Your mother blinks and focuses on you to offer you a faint smile. “Good, that makes me happy. You’ll make a good pair.”

You glance ahead and feel even more giddy at the thought of telling him, at the idea that you wouldn’t have to leave after all. “Do you think the Queen will accept? Grandfather seems quite content with the proposals.”

Your mother shrugs. “I hope she does, but we'll see.”

You hope she does, you really hope so.

“May I go tell him?” You blurt with a growing smile.

Your mother notices your joy and can’t help but smile, albeit you do notice it’s a bit strained as her attention wavers between you and her thoughts. “Yes, go on, but remember it’s not official yet.”

You shoot her a beaming grin before you pick up your gowns skirt to run up the stairs, and hurry to Aemond’s chambers where you know he’ll be at this time of day. Once you finally reach his quarters you knock once and don’t wait a second before you knock repeatedly until the moment the door opens, and he’s there with an annoyed expression.

“I assumed it was you with that annoying knocking,” he remarks.

You beam at him, and then grab his arm to pull him out of his chambers since you aren't allowed to be in his quarters alone. “Guess what?” You ask in a sing-song voice while you begin to walk down the hall.

Aemond sighs deeply. “You know I hate playing this game with you.”

You roll your eyes and ignore his comment to share the news. “I was at the small council meeting and received glorious news.”

Aemond finally gets his interest piqued and looks at you with a curious stare, whilst you begin to only smile wider.

“My mother proposed that we get married and rule Dragonstone,” you share giddily.

Aemond’s eyes slowly widen, and you notice he swallows thickly.

“Isn’t that great?” You probe and grab his hand. “That means I wouldn’t have to leave. And we won’t have to be apart.”

Aemond’s gaze lingers on yours for a moment without any reaction whatsoever. It was beginning to discourage you, but he slowly begins to smile; it’s a faint gesture, but he does so and you take it as a good sign.

“Yes,” he agrees softly. “That’s good news. What did my mother say?”

Your smile falters at that question, but you keep trying to remain hopeful. “She said she’d think about it. I hope she agrees. I don’t think I want to marry anyone else truthfully.” You face ahead and let his hand go to clasp yours.

“Yes,” Aemond comments. “Me neither.”

You grin and feel a heat grow on your cheeks. “Anyway,” you add softly. “That’s all the worthwhile news I had to share. I hope your mother agrees.”

“Me too,” Aemond agrees, heightening your excitement and causing it to last all day.

It's such a bubbling excitement that you could hardly sleep. That's all that invaded your mind, that proposal and the hope that they’d accept so you wouldn't have to leave, and so you wouldn’t marry anyone else but your best friend.

Albeit as that excitement shone over you, a dark cloud soon loomed. Besides the pain you know your mother feels, there’s that dark stormy cloud that still looms over her, only now it’s far more unruly and out of control, causing your shining excitement to slowly dim.

Especially when she wouldn't let you leave as Ser Harwin came to her chambers to say his goodbyes before leaving for Harrenhal.

Your assumption was right, he did fight Ser Criston because of insinuations. And yes, it doesn’t prove anything, they could pass it as just a snap of emotions from Ser Harwin’s part, but he's leaving regardless.

“…be good to your mother and sister, lads,” you hear Ser Harwin tell both Lucerys and Jacaerys. “I’ll visit when I can.” His leather creaks as he stands up. “But that may be some time.”

Quick footsteps sound on the floor, causing you to look up from your book, and catch Jacaerys approaching your mother.

“Jace,” she mutters as she begins to caress the back of his head.

Ser Harwin then follows after your brother with that same soft look he always seemed to have around them, your mother, and even you.

“I will return,” the Knight tells your brother before he lifts his chin. “I promise.”

Your brother nods, letting Ser Harwin part away to approach your mother. And as he does, you look back at your book and pretend to read since you can’t actually bring yourself to focus.

Silence follows for a moment before you hear a kiss and then sweet words that follow by the same man. “I will be a stranger when we meet again.”

More silence follows, causing you to slowly lift your eyes, noticing that Ser Harwin and your mother were just holding each other's gazes. It was a gleaming gaze from him, you can’t read hers since her back is facing you, but you did know she cared for him, so you imagine its hurt as his.

It makes you wish for something as passionate as what they had. You want someone to look at you like how Ser Harwin looks at your mother, soft and lovingly.

“Princess,” he bows his head softly before his eyes begin to drift past her shoulder to where you are, so you hastily pretend to be reading once more and let him approach you before you look up and act clueless.

“Farewell sweet Princess, we’ll see each other again. But until then, may you let no one change who you are.” He offers you the same sweet smile he had given your brothers.

You offer him a kind smile as well and respond. “Farewell Ser Harwin, may your journey home be a pleasant one.”

The knight offers you one last smile before he turns to collect his stuff to finally leave once and for all.

Jacaerys runs after Ser Harwin, but comes to a stop just past the chamber doors. Your mother follows and they both watch the Knight walk away.

“We will exchange letters by raven,” your mother tells Jacaerys. “Won’t that be fun?”

“Why do I look different from y/n?” Jacaerys bluntly asks your mother, causing you to blink in disbelief and straighten up to keep listening. “Is Harwin Strong my father? Am I a bastard?”

Your mother looks back to check if Lucerys was listening, but he isn’t; he's too distracted by his own thing.

“You are a Targaryen,” your mother assures your brother. “Same as your sister. That’s all that matters.”

Jacaerys says nothing in return, he doesn’t look content with her response, but it lets her press a kiss on his forehead before urging him back inside and following shortly after.

And now that was dealt with you close your book and get up to try and leave. “May I take my leave, mother? I wanted to go out to the gardens with Helaena.”

Your mothers gaze snaps to you and she swallows thickly before she approaches you with even darker cloud that begins to cloud over you now.

“I need to tell you something,” she says and grabs your shoulder before cupping your cheek. “We’re going to be leaving.”

Just like that the cloud fully looms over you now, basking you in its darkness and gloom. “What?” You gasp in disbelief.

“Y/N please,” she mutters quietly. “Make a good example for your brothers.”

You draw in a deep breath and only frown deeper.

“It’s for the best,” she continues to add. “Our time here has come to end.”

You shake your head. “But what of the proposals? Aemond?” You argue.

“If Alicent agrees then you’ll come back when you’re older, okay?” She tries to assure you. “You can always exchange letters.”

You let out a shaky sigh, and lose your gaze on the floor as you begin to bite the inside of your cheek. “And grandfather?” You ask.

Your mother lets out a soft sigh, it’s shaky, but she responds as best as she can. “We’ll send ravens. We’ll be better at Dragonstone.”

If this was going to happen, if you were going to leave here then there’s only one thing that can assure you. “We’ll leave together?” You ask and slowly meet her gaze. “All of us? Even father?”

Your mother caresses your cheek and nods. “Of course. We’re all going home.”

Home.

It’s only home as long as your family is there with you. So as long as that’s intact then it’s okay. You’ll be happy to go home.

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx