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rabbitvia

beautiful women will be like “i baked a cake” and you will say “oh ? what flavour is it” and they say well its a honey rosewater apricot pistachio cardamom vanilla fig jam earl grey poppyseed orange blossom extra virgin olive oil chiffon sponge soaked in raspberry elderflower champagne lipgloss pomegranate matcha ginger blueberry cherry blossom magnolia petal almond passionfruit persimmon syrup with whipped amalfi lemon limoncello ricotta goats cheese honeycomb black pepper bergamot lemon thyme lemon balm rosemary chantilly whipped cream cream cheese feta cheese italian meringue frosting . like ok. i want to spend the rest of my afternoons walking around inside your beautiful mind like a garden

pisshandkerchief

i must not kill myself . killing myself is the myself killer

macbethheadband

Shakespeare 400 yrs ago: and then he pulls a pack of cigs out of his denim mini skirttttt

David tennant in 2011: omg yessss

triprobellant-deactivated201709

More i Grow my body Stonger. More i Learn my head gets Longer. More i Eat my belly Bouncing… More i Fight my foes i’m Trouncing.

triprobellant-deactivated201709

More i Sing my voice gets Louder… More i Boast my pride gets Prouder… More i Run my speed gets Upper… What about you Mother Fucker…

triprobellant-deactivated201709

dwergas-deactivated20180817

normally this is when people reblog posts like this and say something like “i was on so much painkillers when i made this” but that doesn’t apply here. i was completely lucid when i made this. i can remember writing this phenomenal post with crystal clarity. for me, it was typical. i could do this kind of thing every day if i wished to.

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official-boob-posts

you know what this means chat

etherealspacejelly

the quiz:

official-boob-posts

I was wondering what happened to this post but it turns out the fucking trekkies (affectionate) got to it

kirksfattitties

sorry.

headspace-hotel

curious to hear y'all's suggestions for the worst possible pasta shape

(Assume that "pasta" needs to be made of sheets or strands of dough with enough surface area relative to thickness so that they can be cooked.)

headspace-hotel

I was going to suggest fettuccini but twisted with the ends connected to form a Möbius strip, but then I realized that would fuck like hell.

headspace-hotel

@fishofthewoods I did NOT expect to get such a strong contender so early.

headspace-hotel

@alilcajun @aralioideae

a couple of challengers emerge

headspace-hotel

You are all fucking madmen

4x01

5th of the month again NEVER forget that castiel canonically wanted to kiss dean absolutely silly. peace and love on planet earth forever

somacruz

i keep seeing this cut off but the preceding “yessiree” is vital to it imo

firstofficerkittycat

au where eberytjings the same but they have to go to five guyd

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cometcrystal

out of the backyard gang baljeet is one of the worst to make into a coffee table. ferb would also be pretty bad. phineas and isabella would be mid because they have those bigass heads but the skinny bodies. might be worse than baljeet and ferb if you're a person who cares about symmetry. buford would objectively make the best coffee table because his silhouette has the most evenly-spaced surface area. now if you wanna talk about pnf characters in general i think pet mode perry would be the best coffee table out of all of them

cometcrystal

Ferb is evenly spaced but long and narrow. Barely enough room for a remote. Isabella's hair would provide a lot of surface area. Phineas is more problematic but his hair spikes would pose more of a problem than his head size. You know nothing.

tvguts

every single time time i try to check facebook marketplace for furniture i get jumpscared by this (admittedly sick) custom baljeet coffee table

coughloop

if you were a skilled glassblower what bong would you make that doesnt currently exist

I THINK I COULD CREATE THE BONG OF CHANGE

great-gatsby-deactivating

charl0ttan

yeah i have an outside husband lol i know its unethical but he just loves exploring

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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fucklestat

louis, mon cheri, share avec moi these airpods….. i have discovered a most captivating songstresse, a mademoiselle Carly Rae Jepsènne. écoute….. does not this saxophonne bewitch you? truly she is the donizetti of her time. and this next song, oooh my leuouis….. the poetry of this lyric….. before miss jepsènne’s beloved came into her life, she missed him so bad. it seems to me she sings of our invisible cord, non?

thefuzzydave

drinkyourjuiceshelby

stupidbeecandle

I lived and worked in a lighthouse at a previous job. There was a thick line painted in a circle around the shack where the fog signal was kept. The line represented how close you could get to the fog signal without experiencing physical harm in the form of eardrums shattering or worse.

Even in the house it was LOUD. Probably the loudest thing I have ever experienced but at a normal, predictable interval. You would begin to time your sentences with little pauses with the rest of the lighthouse crew so you would talk like this while making your………..HORN…………. tea and then carry on talking because you knew when it would go off. It rattled the walls and the dishes in our cabinet.

At least one girl had died there. They kept photos of her everywhere “in honor of her sacrifice” because she had decided to take the winter watch alone and died in a storm where bounders the size of mini vans had been lifted out of the ocean and left scattered across the island, to say nothing of the ice chunks. People weren’t allowed to be alone on the watch after that.

One day a dead moose washed up on shore and it took my entire crew all day but we managed to rig up a line to hang it up to dry because we thought having a moose skeleton in the house would really spice the living room up a bit. It did. Weird shit happens when six of you are left alone, like ALONE ALONE, no cell reception, no wifi, just a radio to contact the real world and not a lot of reason to do that. People don’t go on lighthouse jobs if they want to stay connected, I’ve found.

That said Id do it all again, I really do treasure those days

glowingghosty

mcnerds

you know you could’ve just said “no they don’t have wifi” and that would’ve answered the question

stupidbeecandle

But then you wouldnt have known about the moose

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