CROSS MY HEART

SCANNING FOR SIGNAL . . .

THIS TIME WE NEED TO BE READY

          charles  has  never  been  known  to  be  particularly  smooth;  in  fact,  he’s  sure  those  around  him  would  call  him  the  exact  opposite.  so,  when  he  jumps  up  from  his  spot  in  edwin’s  chair  and  hastily  swipes  the  image  in  the  mirror  away,  he  nearly  tumbles  over  his  own  two  feet.  he  tries  to  play  it  off,  of  course,  righting  himself  and  putting  on  a  big,  hopefully  believable  grin  as  he  turns  to  edwin.

          “ oi,  edwin !  sorry,  mate,  didn’t  hear  ya  come  in ! ”  he  shoots  a  super  quick  glance  at  the  mirror  to  make  sure  it’s  cleared  before  return  his  gaze  to  edwin’s.  “ i  wasn’t  doing  anything,  was  i ?  just,  er—looking  to  make  sure  the  mirror  was  still  in  good,  working  condition. ”

          he  still  isn’t  sure  if  he’s  ready  to  really  talk  about  his  parents  with  edwin,  or  if  he  ever  will  be.  it’s  not  that  he  doesn’t  want  to…eventually…  but  it’s  a  touchy  subject  to  say  the  least.

edwin doesn't need to have thirty-five years worth of knowledge about the boy in front of him to immediately know that something is... amiss. charles' reaction to his presence is hardly typical or anticipated, edwin's mouth popping open in surprise for a moment as the other struggles to compose himself, but the smile that's offered to him isn't quite right either.

snapping his mouth shut, edwin furrows his brows as his eyes scan over his best friend's face. he's clearly hiding something, and with a spared glance back to the mirror, edwin can see it settling from a peculiar sort of rippling effect, like the surface of still water once a large stone has breached it.

over the decades, he's bit his tongue more times than he can count when it comes to charles' occasionally strange behavior. taken his justifications at face-value and never questioned when he felt as if something was being kept from him. he trusts charles, always has and always will, but ever since crystal had pointed out that edwin has clearly been reading him all wrong - or perhaps only choosing to see what he wanted to see, the easiest and least pain-inducing parts - he simply can't let this slide.

so, he ignores the excuse this time, and skips over the details of his chat with crystal for now. surely a bit of gentle prodding won't hurt.

          >>  that  was  nora…  always  the  type  to  speak  her  mind,  no  matter  how  dorky  or  cringe…

          swann  could  feel  the  blush  tinting  her  full  cheeks  as  she  viewed  nora  through  the  lens  of  her  camcorder.  they  were  supposed  to  be  filming  cheesy  shit  for  another  of  swann’s  home-made  videos,  and  she’d  assumed  that  nora  would  show  off  some  air  guitar  skills  or  maybe  show  off  some  moves  on  her  skateboard,  but  cheering  ?  not  so  much.

as nora ( poorly ) repeats a few of the cheering moves she's seen from cheerleaders at school, she tosses up her hands with imaginary pom-poms waving, jumping in place and snorting with laughter. she's personally never understood the appeal of cheerleading ( although looking at the cheerleaders was always fun ), but putting on a show like this in front of swann was a whole other story.

especially when nora can clearly spot the blush on swann's freckled cheeks behind her camcorder, enticing her all the more and fueling her excitable nature; even with as little of an excuse it takes to get her riled up, swann is a special case.

"five, six, seven, eight!" she yells, too loudly, in between her own giggles, hopping up to swann with a wild grin on her face. "i think you are- really great!"

          luckily  for  edwin,  niko  just  so  happens  to  be,  as  charles  would  say,  aces  at  arts  and  crafts  and  she’s  made  plenty  of  friendship  bracelets  in  her  lifetime.  her  lips  purse  idly  in  thought  as  edwin  tells  her  that  he  doesn’t  know  who  would  want  one  from  him,  having  easily  thought  of  all  of  their  friends.  she  opens  her  mouth  to  tell  him  as  much,  but  stops  when  he  suggests  making  one  for  her  first.  she’s  touched  and  it  shows  clear  as  day  on  her  face.

          she  looks  up  at  him  with  sparkling  eyes  and  warm  smile  as  she  happily  chirps,  “ aw,  edwin !  i  would  love  one ! ”  niko  is  nothing  if  not  a  collector  of  all  things  cute,  adorable,  and  heartfelt.  “ you  can  make  one  for  me  and  i’ll  make  one  for  you, ”  she  says  with  a  decisive  nod.  “ and  then  maybe  we  can  make  ones  for  charles  and  crystal,  too. ”

          she  sets  about  picking  out  a  color  of  string  and  a  few  colorful  beads  she  likes  and  thinks  will  suit  edwin,  gesturing  for  him  to  do  the  same  as  she  explains,  “ first,  pick  out  colors  you  think  the  person  you’re  making  a  bracelet  for  might  like.  then,  you  can  start  stacking  the  beads  in  any  pattern  you  like. ”  as  if  to  demonstrate,  she  takes  a  few  green,  blue,  and  white  beads,  slipping  them  onto  a  dark  blue  string  before  moving  to  sort  through  some  of  the  beads  with  letters  and  shapes  on  them.

"thank you, niko. that is very kind," edwin answers with a fond smile, her encouragement beneficial in getting him to start treading this unfamiliar territory. he's always been a quick learner - surely this couldn't be more difficult than mastering undead languages and perfecting demon-banishing spells.

however it's quickly proven an unexpected challenge to narrow down his choices of colors that remind him of niko. in edwin’s mind, niko is a rainbow of colors, nothing at all to do with the nature of circumstances that led him to meeting her, but rather a symphony of bright, happy, unwavering vibrance that encapsulates her entire being. it leads him into a sort of staring contest with the bracelet making kit, overanalyzing and overcomplicating as he usually does for something that he thinks should be a simple task.

finally, after too much deliberation, edwin plucks out a bright red bead from the kit, remembering the piece of red sea glass niko had gifted to him in his time of great emotional need. for courage. carefully guiding it onto the thin string with one eye closed in immense concentration, he plucks a pink bead out next and repeats the process. then, a green and white bead follows, before a thought suddenly hits him hard enough for him to stop entirely.

“do you think…” he begins, carefully straightening out the thread with its three grouped beads into a line onto niko's comforter. his hands begin to fidget in his lap, index finger tapping at his knuckles. “charles would be receptive to a gift like this? it is… rather unusual from the gifts we've given each other before."

36: A kiss to the shoulder

          another  case  solved,  another  job  well-done…is  typically  charles’  motto.  this  case  had  been  harder—more  emotionally  taxing—than  some  of  the  others.  a  kid  who  died  via  hate  crime  had  come  to  them  for  help  in  finishing  their  business  on  earth  and  crossing  over.  it  was  something  they  could  both  relate  to,  but  said  hate  crime  had  been  blatant  homophobia.

          a  kid  murdered  by  his  bullies  after  being  outed.  it  had  been  a  rough  one  to  deal  with  and  they’d  felt  so  bad  that  they  decided  to  take  it  on  pro-bono.  his  death,  at  the  very  least,  hadn’t  been  covered  up  or  forgotten  about,  but  it  still  hit  close  to  home.

          when  it  was  all  said  and  done,  either  of  the  two  felt  in  particularly  high  spirits  to  celebrate—even  if  it  had  been  a  happier  ending  for  the  kid.  charles  had  noticed  how  it  had  affected  edwin,  in  particular,  and  sat  next  to  him  on  their  old  couch.

edwin knows that the world has come a long way since he died in accepting people like him. progression, as he's heard it be called, and he is indeed immensely grateful for the change in the right direction. for others to be allowed and proud to be themselves, to live a more safely free life than he ever would have expected to be a possibility.

unfortunately, that didn't mean the problem was erased entirely. edwin isn't naïve enough to think the process of acceptance would be as clean-cut as never looking back to the old-fashioned, harmful ways of the past, yet their most recent case would deliver a brutal smack to the face all the same.

while edwin had thrown himself headfirst into solving the case to try and distract himself from the personal ties he held towards it, once it was dealt with, he could feel the reality of it crashing into him full-force like a runaway train. the emotions he'd been holding back for the sake of professionalism hit him all at once, and he finds himself holding back tears as charles takes a seat next to him on the battered couch.

"i... do not know what to say," edwin whispers, his voice strained and uneven around the lump in his throat. the kiss charles gently presses to his shoulder is grounding but bitter-sweet, and instinctively, edwin reaches out to clutch onto charles' knee as if seeking further leverage. he feels like he'll sink through the floor without it.

43: a bloody kiss ...

          it’s  alex’s  fault,  really,  as  he’d  gotten  a  little  too…carried  away.  though,  to  be  fair,  he  hadn’t  seen  henry  in  far  too  long.  the  long  distance  killed  him  sometimes,  but  he’d  still  tolerate  it  for  henry.  henry  was  worth  it,  and  alex  had  to  believe  that  one  day  it  would  all  pay  off.

          for  now,  they’d  have  to  make  due  with  visits  and  do  their  best  to  make  up  for  lost  time  during  the  time  they  had  together.  though,  alex  wasn’t  sure  that  clashing  teeth  really  fit  the  bill.  in  fact,  he  was  fairly  certain  he  could  do  without  it,  but  especially  when  he  looked  up  after  wincing,  pulling  back,  and  rubbing  at  his  mouth,  only  to  see  that  henry’s  lip  was  bleeding.  it  didn’t  look  too  bad  but  alex  sure  felt  bad.  

          “ oh  my  god,  babe,  your  lip— ”  he  started,  hands  immediately  reaching  for  him.  “ shit—!  i’m  so  sorry— ”  he  took  henry’s  face  in  his  hands,  observing  the  laceration,  and  even  though  it  wasn’t  much  worse  than  a  papercut,  he  couldn’t  help  but  be  dramatic.

for a fleeting moment, henry isn't entirely sure if he would have even noticed that his lip was bleeding had alex not pointed it out. he blames it on the agonizing separation and the intense yearning that came along with it, distance not only making the heart grow fonder but the desperation grow stronger. alex is like a magnet, henry constantly feeling it's steady, unwavering pull across an entire ocean, and as much as it hurts to miss him, the feeling still sets his entire soul ablaze.

henry isn't surprised when alex begins fussing about the little mishap ( his heart fluttering at the use of the pet name ), and an odd part of him wishes they could simply continue kissing regardless of the blood he can feel staining his plush, kiss-swollen lips and taste the hint of iron on his tongue. it isn't new information just how crazy alex makes him.

"alex, darling, it's quite alright," henry calls after him, instinctively touching his fingers to his lip and eyeing the dark red tint that stains them when he pulls them back. they truly can't be blamed for getting so carried away after missing each other so fiercely, and he isn't sorry for it.

he'll let alex continue with his fretting, however, his heart warmed through with endearment for the amount of care alex always shows. instead of waiting for him to return, henry follows him into the kitchen as alex hastily retrieves napkins, placing his hands to the small of his back and his forearm, fingers idly stroking through the thick, dark hair that covers it.

-

💗  to  lean  against  my  muse.

          he  catches  sight  of  edwin’s  silky  brunette  hair  out  of  the  corner  of  his  eye  and  a  smile  pulls  at  his  lips.  it’s  still  weird  how  they  can  feel  the  touch  of  each  other,  but  every  other  sensation  of  the  living  world  is  dulled.  charles  isn’t  about  to  complain,  however,  yearning  for  anything  that  can  make  him  feel  alive,  despite  the  irony.

it remains to be a foreign concept, the sensation of touch. nothing at all like the painful burn of iron or sharp sting of a cat scratch, the agony of being ripped apart by dolls in the depths of hell, but so undeniably real that edwin had long forgotten how it felt to actually feel in a way that wasn't negative. and to say he's grown to be a bit addicted to it would prove to be an understatement, but then again, perhaps it's just because it's with charles.

he regards charles' light-hearted words with a short hum, allowing himself to sink further against his side, seeking his comfort physically instead of only emotionally. the warmth that presses against him is still a bit staggering, but hardly unwanted.

"my garters are a staple of my look. i am positive she knows she could never recreate it in her own questionable wardrobe," he mumbles, still a bit sour about her teasing, mouth half pressed against charles' shoulder.

          “ edwin ! ”  niko  chirps  as  her  eyes  look  up  from  her  manga,  letting  the  book  flip  closed  and  setting  it  over  on  her  nightstand  as  edwin  approaches.  she  listens,  watching  with  interest,  eyes  flickering  from  his  face  to  what  he  holds  in  his  hands,  and  nods.

          taking  the  box  from  him,  she  scoots  over  on  her  bed  to  make  room,  patting  the  spot  beside  her.  her  bright  gaze  studies  the  plastic  box  a  few  moments  more  before  she  says,  “ it’s  okay,  i’m  actually  somewhat  of  an  expert  when  it  comes  to  crafts. ”  she  dares  not  to  think  back  to  the  mishap  with  jenny  and  her  stalker,  much  less  speak  it  out  loud.

          ridding  her  mind  of  the  thought,  she  instead  beams  at  edwin.  “ i  didn’t  know  you  liked  friendship  bracelets !  that’s  so  cute !  who  are  we  making  one  for ? ”  she  has  a  few  ideas  of  a  few  certain  people  who  would  probably  love  to  receive  a  bracelet  from  edwin,  but  she  keeps  the  thought  to  herself…for  now.

as always, niko's charm is positively contagious. edwin finds himself smiling in full sincerity in mere seconds upon entering the room, eyes crinkling slightly around the edges as he accepts her invitation to sit down atop her floral duvet, straight-postured with his hands neatly folded in his lap.

"i had assumed as much," he says in a notably chipper tone, having already taken note of niko's affinity for cutesy decor and trinkets that occupy her apartment. he was quite happy to be correct about this assessment, and it reflects upon his face.

edwin swears he can feel her energy seeping into him, practically as real and visceral as if he were alive. he remains almost captivated by her, a pull that he's felt from the day he met her still tugging him forward like an invisible string. it was downright fascinating, and he wasn't too keen on ever severing this apparent connection that draws them together.

      𝐇𝐄'𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒, 𝐈'𝐌 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐁𝐑𝐀𝐖𝐍.