I truly am enjoying everything too. This is the only chance I’ll have to be 600 pounds, and I really want to make sure I appreciate everything I can about it. I’m even enjoying the things that suck about being 600 pounds! It’s a little odd to realise that I’m enjoying being this out of shape, this awkward, this amount of difficulty getting up, getting around, getting dressed, but it’s part of being 600 pounds. Appreciating my shortness of breath is as easy as appreciating my massive gut.
If I’m enjoying the downside of being fat, I’m absolutely reveling in good stuff! Feeling my folds slide over each other, even as I’m sitting ‘still’ is one of those pleasures that even the mildly obese will never be able to appreciate. And while every fat guy and girl knows what it’s like to ripple and jiggle when you walk, they’ll never know how the harmonic rhythms of 600 pounds can completely take control of you.
600 pounds! I’ve been living with that number for a few days now, and it still gives me a little shiver when I think about it! 600 pounds! That’s huge. I’m huge! I’m 600 pounds!
While I’ve known this was coming for a long time, and I was worried that the anticipation might somehow blunt this, I was wrong. I’m thrilled, this is one of the best things I’ve ever felt. I thought that I wouldn’t really ‘feel 600’, given that it’s just one pound more than the 599 I’d been at, but KNOWING that I’m 600 pounds, knowing that I’m supremely fat, knowing that I’ve reached a titanic size, it really hits home. I DO feel 600, which is far different from feeling 599+1 pounds.
What does being 600 mean? It means that my belly is big. Really big. When I look down, I see my belly. It forces my legs apart, it piles up between my legs, it flows forward ahead of me. It pulls down on me, it’s almost like I’m attached to my belly, instead of my belly being attached to me.
What does being 600 mean? It means that I can eat anything I want. My appetite has actually increased since Wednesday! I’ve been eating like crazy to get to this point and suddenly it feels like I was just getting warmed up. Hunger? What’s that? I don’t let myself feel hunger! Craving? Craving is when you’ve got a deep desire for something, a desire that can be satiated by having it. I’m past craving, I want things, and when i get them, I want more. And not just one thing, no no no, I want everything. I want it all, and I want it now!
What does being 600 mean? It means that gravity and I have an understanding. Seeing that needle spin right around the scale, seeing it stop at the very last hash mark made me suddenly feel that, yes, I’m not just fat, I’m HEAVY. 599 pound Ian could still get around okay, but 600 pound Ian? Why get up? Why fight gravity? Isaac Newton discovered this wonderful force that acts on me like it acts on so few people. I’m pulled down towards the Earth with incredible force, and I enjoy it. I don’t have to fight gravity, it has me in it’s warm, tender embrace. From the tips of my toes to the top of my head, from my recessed navel to my extended rear end, I can feel gravity coursing through me; and it is good.
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