i'm like a raccoon in the garage

hey there, young scientists! put on your labcoats and strap on your safety goggles, because today we’re learning about aggrieving your father on your birthday

the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, waiting 4 years for hiveswap, acceptance.

the only thing worse than gluten intolerance at a wedding is SBAHJ

I think you mean the only thing better

……..isn’t his wife like….a terrifying sociopath who murders a dude and fucks with people’s lives for no adequate reason?

why do you hate women

i remember when i was doing a religious simpsons painting in my painting 1 class and the professor had been talking about trends that annoyed him, specifically people painting bart back when he taught in the 90′s. i took my painting off the easel and turned it around and my 50-some year old professor had to cope with seeing imagery of bart simpson as a cherub 

OP where is the painting

Where is the painting OP

25 human years to Keanu is equivalent to like 2 minutes. he hasn’t changed outfits cuz he’s barely started his day

honestly? keanu reeves should have been in the MCU by now

honestly keanu reeves should’ve been doctor strange

marvel wouldn’t even need to spend money on cgi because keanu reeves can just do that

S.J.W. Bush 

@busbug

do kids these days know about glomping?

What is that?

What the fuck?