Kidiot

Tony, five minutes later: PETER BENJAMIN PARKER GET DOWN FROM THE CEILING AND DO YOUR HOMEWORK

Tony: Peter, language

Me:

bella: 

…your legacy lives on forever…

These were actually in a comic book.

“Deadpool” [Yellow Box]  (White Box)  “other”

Aries: (This plan that we’re working on..)  [What plan?]  “Operation moves.” (..Yeah. It’s awfully risky.)  [There’s a plan? Why wasn’t I-]  “Need-to-know basis. Sorry, pal.”  [But.. I’m you! That’s- that’s just stupid!]

Taurus: “Spidey! What up, baby boy? Haven’t seen you since Amazing Spider-Man #611!”

Gemini: “Let’s see how you like it when I smack you with an interspatial disorter that will temporarily phase your brain into dimension X!”  “This is an iPod with a piece of masking tape attached to it.”  “It is. Ah, but for a second there, you were really worried!”

Cancer: “Like Han Solo said to Chewbacca in Return of the Jedi, ‘Fly casual.’“ “Actually, I like the three new films better. The special effects are fantastic, and Hayden Christensen is an amazing actor.”  {shoots cronie} {points gun at other cronie} “Say Jar Jar Binks is an abomination! Say it!”  “Jar Jar Binks is an abomination! Jar Jar Binks is an abomination!”

Leo: “So, kick back, and enjoy Deadpool issue thirty-three point one!” [Wait, why is it called “point one”?]  (Who cares? At least this issue, there is a point.)

Virgo: “Why did you that?”  “Because you were gonna do it, and this is my book.” 

Libra: “Well, it’s in the Yellow Pages. You can’t get much realer than that!”  [I’m confused. I thought you couldn’t read anything in dreams.]  (I’m impressed he can read when he’s awake.)

Scorpio: “Oh, hi, kids. Deadpool here. Hate to interrupt the story like this, but our fine artist had the overwhelming urge to draw me in this pin-up shot, even though it’s nowhere in the script. Let’s return to the story while I go teach Michelangelo there the error of his ways.”

Sagittarius: “Is that Richard Nixon?”  “I can’t wait to pound that Dick… Uh. Hey, Doc, do you have a spell to undo what I just said?”

Capricorn: “I only have half a brain!” [be the meat] “What was that?!” (The other half. Ignore it.)

Aquarius: “Yeah, that fight lasted as long as Deathlok’s last comic.”

Deadpool: Back in Black #1