a lemon Now and Later

we used to make rage comics about how spoons will spray you with water if you wash them at the wrong angle. not anymore. now we just suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer and suffer

Alien pulling your sleeve to get your attention: and who is this Cunt you all serve

I was imagining "reverse creep radiohead" as a bit and now I can't stop thinking of "I wish you were special, I'm so fucking special" and laughing

saw someone post "I don't understand why anyone would have separate 'winter tires' unless they're just looking for things to spend money on" and looked at her account and she's from LA. which is funny but I think we're all guilty of similar behavior sometimes. if you see people spending time and effort on something that seems stupid to you it's worth considering whether you're the Californian in this scenario

somewhere out there right now is a kid with curly hair being raised by people who have wavy hair at best and those people are giving them 2-in-1 shampoo and conditioner and telling them to dry brush it. and that kid is gonna spend all of middle school and high school hating their hair and moping over the flat iron. they're being told right now that if they don't dry-brush their curl pattern into oblivion every morning it means they're unkempt and gross even though they naturally have the kind of ringlets that a thousand bridezillas would commit horrible murders for every june. it's happening right now it's an absolute epidemic and a tragedy every time

The thing they don't tell you about fried egg runny yolk is that if you put it in a sandwich it will be the best most delicious thing and you can mop up the egg with the bread, but in exchange you Will get so so messy and covered in egg yolk