sarcasm...

You even make your profs look at you funny?  Dude, how smart are you?  Maybe, but is that even possible and shit?  Like, don’t humans literally need sleep to function?  I mean, I’m no brain expert, but you know.

Smart enough to make the IQ testing people do a double take. I mean, yes. They do. And I sleep...just...not a lot. Or at night. It's just...it's my thing, okay? It is a thing I do...I can't help it.

Do so. I’m not being a literary snob. I just - they weren’t … I’m not hating. I’m sorry.

Your call. But I promise it's not as nice as it sounds. Feel free to stick around, though. I will teach you my ways. O -- oh. Well, I'm sorry too. It's a knee jerk reaction...

Yeah, thanks. How do you manage to have uneventful days on this campus? That’s a skill I definitely need to learn. Oh, well unless it involves that. I never got into those. But yay?

It's a talent, really. Oh, no no. You don't want to learn it. Trust me. I -- What?! Comics hold a lot of weight in the literary community!! Don't hate, dude. But..yes. Yay...

'm actually a human being, but thanks for the compliment, lenscrafters.

Oh ho ho ho. You're so funny. That's so original...

...You've got that glazed over look my professor get when I go on my rants. You don't know my life, dude. Maybe the insomnia keeps my mind clear...

've been back for five minutes, and the stench of mediocrity is already filling the halls.

...Aren't you an actual ray of sunshine...

It’d probably be a better comparison if you know, I wasn’t part of it. S’ok. I found them eventually. How was your day?

Also true. Sorry about that. I'm glad to hear your found 'em, though! It was...uneventful, like most of my days. I did, however, find a new comic shop...

I’m pretty sure I’m not going to need any luck, but thanks dude.  If you’ve got sleeping pills readily available then why don’t you use them to solve your problem?

Hey, you're welcome. They don't work for me, duh. My neurotransmitters like to spite me and keep me up anyway. Plus, they make my head fuzzy and I don't like it.

Well, I guess. Unless you’re murdered, because there are hardly ever times where you can choose not to be murdered. Yeah, that whole situation still confuses me. 

Mmmm. You've got a good point there. There aren't many people who would choose that option over just about anything else. If it makes you feel any better, I didn't even know Michael Jackson for the longest time...

I will dodge morning classes as long as I possibly can.  Which hopefully will be forever.  Or at least until I get a degree.

May the force be with you, my man. I wish you the best of luck in your endeavor to dodge morning classes and I will have alcohol or sleeping pills ready when you fail.

Sometimes I think I’m actually Luna Lovegood. My football gear has mysteriously disappeared from my locker. Again. Anybody seen it?

...That could be the best comparison I've heard, like, ever. Sorry to hear about your pads or guards or whatever it is you guys use. Sadly, I'm clearly no help.

You’re very welcome. So, you’re like Michael Jackson. They say that he would have died anyways if his doctor didn’t kill him because he could never sleep. 

That is one comparison I have never heard nor will probably ever hear again, but noted. It's nice to know that when I die I might have options...? I kind of hope I'll have a better doctor than good old MJ, though.

Literal ideal situation.  Oh come on man, the ideal situation is to not take morning classes.  Boom, problem solved.

I -- You realize you won't be able to dodge morning classes forever, right? So, no boom. Sorry to burst your happy little bubble, bro.

Think the length and time and how deep a stage of sleep you get is entirely scientific and what qualifies a nap from uh, not a nap. Nothing real philosophical about that.

I mean, I agree. But why not both? I'm sure there are some philosophers that say you can be awake but sleeping due to the state of your mind or some shit. I should...really look into that now...

Just trying to be supportive about your naps. Why not?

I appreciate your support. Why don't I sleep? Well, uh, I'm antsy so I just fidget every time I lay down until my body takes over and shuts down...

Ask a science major.

Or would it be Philosophy? Or both?

No probs.  Nah, you’ve set yourself up for the perfect situation - you can screw around for however late you want, and then just sleep in late tomorrow.  I’ve pretty much got it down to a science.

The perfect situation? I've never quite heard it put that way before, but I see your point. The only problem is, it still happens during the week. Then I'm mildly screwed. Feel free to share knowledge and wisdom as you please, sir. I'm all ears.