"We are taught to take up as little space as possible" I fucking wish. Entitled narcissistic piece of shit.
imagine seeing a post I made and then clicking on my profile and then going to the ask box and then typing this out and sending it without noticing that you're the lamest person on the planet
I want to focus on the accusation that I'm an "entitled narcissist" for a second because it's actually really revealing. This has been written about by better writers than I, (and more controversial writers and some Freudian types which give me the ick) but narcissism as a disorder and as a social pejorative has a history, and that history, going back all the way to Narcissus himself, is one that was designed around narcissistic men.
This anon did not just call me entitled and a narcissist, they called me both of those at once and they called me a man.
This makes more sense when you interrogate what exactly they meant by "entitled". How exactly am I entitled? I'm sure in certain respects the term could be used accurately, but they do not provide any of that context, only the quote from an earlier post of mine about how transfems are treated. The implication is that I am entitled because I am a man, I am popular on tumblr because of my maleness, and people read the stuff that I write not despite misogyny, but because of it.
(of course, the irony of this person accusing me of being a man and then being misogynistic towards me is not lost on me, transphobes being contradictory like that just isn't surprising or notable.)
The important part is that none of this had to be said. The image of the narcissist is so automatically masculine that they didn't even think to actually refer to me as a man, the reading wasn't subtextual, nor was the implication accidental.
I actually don't know if I/we have NPD. Between plurality, transfemininity, the state of clinical diagnosis, and both a personal and political distaste for therapists and psychiatrists, I'm not looking to figure it out anytime soon. But NPD, the lived experience, NPD, the clinical diagnosis, and "narcissism", the pejorative this anon used to describe me, are all separate things with shockingly little overlap in who and what they describe.
The ableism of this statement is therefore threefold.
In the straightforward sense, using a clinical term as a pejorative is ableist, the implication that people with NPD need to shut up and be quiet is quite obviously a product of ableism.
Secondly, in some sense they were not even talking about NPD. The linguistic drift has been so severe that the three meanings of the term "narcissist" have become almost entirely separate and even contradictory. This is ableism both through the distortion applied by the medicarceral system to the lived experiences of people living with NPD, and the distortion thereafter of popular (abled) culture in further divorcing the term from the lived experiences of NPD and from the clinical diagnosis in favour of like, your ex boyfriend. This not ableism primarily committed by this anon, their statement is more a product of that process than it is a contributor to it, but the ableism in the statement remains nonetheless, and continues to cause harm to people with NPD who have to constantly deal with the latter two conceptions of narcissism being applied to their actions like a checklist which writes itself ahead of any potential behaviour.
Finally, there is ableism in the accusation of maleness. This ableism is a product of the ways in which women have been and continue to be neglected and actively harmed by the medicaerceral complex. Misogyny has deeply invested itself into the ways our bodies are diagnosed, and the ways in which they are not. The fact that narcissism entails masculinity produces significant harm to women with NPD, who are likely to be misdiagnosed more frequently, and when diagnosed correctly, are diagnosed with a vision of narcissism which was designed around male case studies. Accusations against people without NPD like (probably) this one are a comparatively marginal way this ableism produced by way of misogyny presents itself.
I'll choose to wear this accusation like a badge of honour. My friends with NPD have been some of the kindest and most thoughtful people I know, and to be confused for them is certainly no insult in my mind. The entailed notion that I'm somehow manipulating everyone into liking me just sounds like something a loser who's jealous that your girl is a minor tumblr microcelebrity would say, and that is a pretty pathetic thing to be jealous of.
I love my NPD sisters, yall are doing queen shit, please don't ever stop being you <3


















