Mya

“ Her full name is Kitty White and she is a Scorpio who adores apple pie.” “She’s a perpetual third-grader. She lives outside of London.” “She has a twin sister,”

It is raining so you take an umbrella with you. When you step outside the sun breaks through, it is now a beautiful day. You walk two more steps and it starts snowing. You are not surprised. You are never surprised anymore.

A tourist asks you if you are German. You were talking Dutch. You and the tourist are in Amsterdam. 

There are trees in your street. You do not know who planted them. You do not know who cares for them. The trees are, and it is accepted.

When you leave the supermarket there are children waiting for you . They stare with hungry eyes. You try to walk past them but they follow. They are too fast. They want your football cards and they will stop at nothing to get them.

You go to France for your holiday. Your friends are not excited for you when you tell them. You always go to France. Everyone does. 

A tv show about a clown and an acrobat was your childhood. You do not understand why you watched the show. You don’t remember what it was about. The clown and the acrobat were old. 

The lady on the speaker says you have to wait five more minutes for your train. You wait five more minutes. And five more. And five more. The lady on the speaker is back. She says the train won’t come because of the snow. You look around. You hadn’t noticed the snow. The snow is less than a centimeter thick.

Your international friends are discussing their cultures. You want to join the conversation but you can’t. You can only think of cheese.

Coffeeshop au’s confuse you. You thought those were illegal outside of the Netherlands.

You attend your English classes. You know you never learned a single thing from them. You speak English. 

Their guard blinked. “Um.” 

“What, you’d rather your monarch be poisoned?”

Of course not. The guard hesitantly took a mouthful, only to practically melt in satisfaction. “Oh my god.” It was amazing. They caught themselves. “I - er - I think it’s fine.” 

“You should try a sip of the wine too,” the monarch said. “Just to be safe. Sit, sit.” 

- Our future tense requires only one word (looking at you, Spanish)

- Words don’t change meanings depending on tone (Cantonese)

- We don’t live in some bizarre Beauty And The Beast world where we give inanimate objects genders (romance languages, German)

- Likewise, we don’t have have two different words for “they” because we don’t care whether “they” were male or female (Spanish, French)

- There’s no formal “you” because we don’t play mind games about whether or not we respect you (Spanish, German)

- We don’t alter the whole fucking language based on how much we respect you (Japanese)

- The letters and sounds might not be consistent, but at least we have letters, not just pictures (Mandarin)

- We don’t have a fucking stupid tense specifically for talking to two people because some idiot decided that a two-person tense was necessary (Arabic)