DO NOT TOUCH ALINA MULLER
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DO NOT TOUCH ALINA MULLER

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I can't wait to see these haunted eyes again next season. I hope the ghosts that haunt you destroy the Frost tomorrow.
What ghosts will we see this next season???
jessie eldridge jill saulnier jamie lee rattray and alina müller will stay in boston. everyone start posting about how awful our power play is and how most of our wins are only with 1-2 goals nowww
whenever I tell a story I feel like Uncle Colm from Derry Girls
oh my God thank God.

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#happypridemonth
14 HR recs
Plausible Deniability | 40K | Getting information out of Ilya about his family was like getting blood from stone. Maybe harder. It had been one of the first things Shane had noticed about him. Any questions about his parents – the kind of typical things Shane’s mom had taught him to ask to make polite conversations – would result in brusque, emotionless answers or, worse, actual anger. But somewhere out there was Irina’s granddaughter. The only remaining blood relative that Ilya gave a shit about. And Ilya could never go back, which was Shane’s fault. So that bothered him.| Canon divergent, deviates at some point during Heated Rivalry IIRC but sort of runs parallel to canon as we know it, all through TLG and then gets into future fic territory. Shane starts wondering about how Ilya's niece is doing in Russia and handles the whole thing in a very Shane way. I love how the author intertwines their additions with canon events. Excellent characterisation all around, but I'm particularly in love with this Shane. The way he acts, thinks and speaks rings so true to canon and seems a pretty realistic portrayal of neurodivergence, at least to me. I'm also very impressed with Ilya's niece's storyline . I've read so many stories where she lands on Ilya and Shane's doorstep because of reasons, and it always seems so OTT and in some cases Shane and Ilya have no trouble establishing a rapport with her... the way it is handled here is so much more realistic for Shane and Ilya both. There's a very cute and fluffy epilogue, so it's definitely a HEA, feel good kind of story, fear not.
Definitely, Probably | 11K | “Bella broke up with JJ.” Shane stopped dead. He swore the temperature in the kitchen dropped two degrees. “What? Noooooooo.” The neck of his T-shirt was suddenly too tight. He curled a finger in the elastic and pulled. Air. He needed air. Hayden’s voice was lowered to a frightened whisper, “We’re Code Red, buddy. Code fucking Red.” | Cute. Lovely jealous Ilya and a nice look at Shane's friendship with Hayden and JJ. Original.
storm has set the heavens scowling by @qqueenofhades| 150K | The Heated Rivalry/Shadow and Bone crossover that the people needed.| Okay, this summary totally does not do this epic story justice! First off, it's @qqueenofhades who is, IIRC, a historian and a published writer, but to me will always be the fandom hero who wrote the definitive A Song of Ice And Fire Fixit Epic which means I don't give a fuck about the mess that GoT ended up being or the fact that GRRM will never finish the series...and if you're worried because it's a crossover with a fandom you don't know anything about...I didn't either. I think I watched a couple of episodes of A Shadow and Bone Netflix series and noped out early and you know what? You don't need to know the first thing about that to enjoy this amazing AU. This is fully set in the HR world. You can simply take all the characters as OCs (and they are some awesome OCs, let me reassure you). And @qqueenofhades knows history and is an excellent writer. This is a superb Ilya-centric story, even though it's not only about Ilya. I can't believe I forgot to recommend it as soon as it was complete!
sold to shane hollander | 9.5K | “I did not have a crush on Hollander,” Troy argues. “So wanting his number is not having a crush?” Dykstra asks. “Jesus Christ,” Troy murmurs under his breath. Harris feels like he should take pity on his boyfriend. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. I had a crush on Hollander too.” It’s close enough to the truth. Harris is not going to confess that in the depths of his crush, he wrote fanfiction about Shane. And he certainly is not going to elaborate on all the plot points from the rare heart condition requiring expensive care in the United States to being sold by his family to Shane Hollander to cover the debt.| An adorable Harris-centric story. We need more stories about Harris, dammit! This is so funny. I laughed out loud several times.
like puzzle pieces from the clay by @beautifulduckweed | 15K | The universe had decided Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov were perfect for each other, so it sent them an unmistakable sign. Unfortunately, the two of them have a lot of practice in mistaking things. So the universe tries again, and again. Or: how many soulmate tropes does it take to get two oblivious hockey boys together?| This is soulmark trope and magical realism. Two things I normally don't go for...but IDK, there's a fucking goose and it's amazing. I mean, it's @beautifulduckweed, she had me at the Such Great Heights lyrics for the title.
frequently, secretly fond of each other. by @milominderbindered | 223k | A year after mysteriously dropping out of the 2009 draft, Shane Hollander is signed by the Boston Raiders, right behind Ilya Rozanov. Having the two biggest stars in the league on the same line is great for Boston — but playing alongside their worst rival was never exactly in Shane or Ilya's plans. Especially not when staying away from each other starts to feel just as impossible as getting along.| This is one of the most popular stories in fandom (over 1.6 million hits!) for a reason. So, yeah everyone must have already read it but it is now complete and I couldn't not recommend it. It's a Shane goes to Boston AU. Probably the best of them all. A true fandom classic.
An ode to Shane Hollander’s masculinity | 5.3K | “He’s such a jock,” Cassie says with a chuckle. She puts her glass of dark liquor on the bar so she can fold her arms. When she sees Ilya looking at Bood, she laughs and shakes her head. “Oh no, I’m talking about your man. That guy is hockey if it was a person. And thank god for that, I’ve seen those Reebok ads.”| Interesting Shane characterisation. Lovely Ilya too. Good use of socmed.
For the Right Reasons by @citrusses | 63K | Coming this fall to ABC… MLH star Shane Hollander is The Bachelor! Bachelor Nation, we have one question: will you accept this rose?| The one where Shane is The Bachelor. features non-hockey-player!Ilya. I was unsure going in (I have a hard time with Aus where one or both our heroes are not hockey players) but the author is amazing and completely sold me on the premises. And they even stuck the landing, masterfully. Hats off.
HOLLANDER & ROZANOV ARE DEADby @eurydicees | 13.2K | It is December, and Scott has been out for long enough to pretend to be used to it, and things are not perfect but they’re fucking good, and Ilya Rozanov is at his apartment for dinner—has been for over an hour—and he’s still waiting so stupidly hopefully to introduce a boyfriend who very, very clearly isn’t coming.| Confession time. When I read a story I like I bookmark it immediately and copy&paste in the bookmark my comment to the author or some notes on what I liked. Well, I didn't write anything this time, I must have been sleepy or in a rush and now I don't have the time to re-read if I want to get this list posted before turning in. BUT I remember thinking it was so well-written! And a story inspired by Tom Stoppard's Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is just such a genius idea. Got to love fandom.
Please Text | 2K | In retrospect, they should have called. Texted. Rang the doorbell. Heralded their entry with a trumpet. Something. But everything is clearer in hindsight, especially the sight of your father’s behind. Shane suppresses a shudder. | Ilya and Shane walk in on David and Yuna. Soo funny. Perfect voices.
in your arms i'd start a war by @justhere4ke| 60K | Ilya widens his eyes, moves his hands in an impatient “get on with it” motion. He has the urge to say it for him, end both their misery. Shane blinks rapidly a few times, takes another deep breath. “I want to stop,” he says simply. Ilya lets out one humorless laugh, “Stop what?” Shane ignores him. “At the All Star Game, I told you I liked you. And you said about Russia and your family. And I looked some things up. I get it. I get it better now. I know we can’t but I can’t stop wanting to be…more. Unless we stop.”| The one where they fail at communicating even worse than in canon and decide to become friends. This is more rom-com than I'd normally like, it's so well-written and of course you just end up rooting for these two idiots even though (or maybe precisely because) they are so stupid(ly in love).
Wild Geese | 6.3K | A hockey player and the most beautiful man he's ever seen walk into a bar.| I don't normally rec stories featuring trans characters...because I'm very ignorant and I'm afraid of showing my ignorance. You know what they say...Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and to remove all doubt. This story though was so lovely and moving, I just couldn't not rec it. Here we have trans Shane and it is written with such obvious love and care.
If it wasn't for that meddling kid | 138K | Ilya stays in Boston, gets a rookie, and tries to figure out how to make a secret long distance relationship work while there's a Russian teenager in his house| This another fandom classic which has been completed only recently. Great AU of the canon divergence kind. With the most memorable OC ever (Pava!!!!). Lots of hockey which is always a plus (ARustySpork's author notes have been so educational and entertaining in equal measure for someone who's just recently got into hockey). Amazing characterisation, ofc.
Wins Above Replacement | 9.5K | Ilya tries to take on Shane's tendency to deprive himself by using ancient Chinese military strategy.| mcshurg gave us another banger, hot smut with feeling and character development. I don't know how they can do it. Every. Single. Time.
beautiful bisexual people we must keep going
wretched and depraved bisexual people we must all keep going
he couldn't believe he was being asked if he liked girls

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what if we all explode
This very production of Orpheus & Eurydice is now available to stream, free, for the month of June.
HEATED RIVALRY PHYSICAL RELEASE LET’S ALL LIVE
ohhh they got me with this
SHU UP I THINK THEY ARE RELEASING HR ON BLU RAY!?
Megan Keller ready for some softball (from Jill Saulnier's ig post)

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Assorted free-range headcanons about Hollanov at 45-55 years old:
Shane starts getting grays at 35, so by 45 he is a salt-and-pepper kING. It makes for a distinguished photograph on his memoir. He has a ghostwriter, obviously, how do you expect him to just sit and write all day? He writes the chapter about his and Ilya's rivalry though, only at the end of the chapter is he like "And we were married in the summer of 2021 with a honeymoon in Spain. He's the best person I know." after just a dry comparison of all their stats Pre-Centaurs.
One child. Boychild. Shane's genes and a Russian name. Conceived via surrogacy after Ilya retires first due to busted ass knee syndrome. Child enjoys hockey. Not great at it. Looooves playing the oboe in school band. Shane checks it out and AS IT TURNS OUT the oboe is a difficult, competitive instrument. They proceed with characteristic intensity, as if this was athletics. Son, you're gonna win at the oboe.
Ilya needs glasses. He just steals Shane's off his face and it's a whole ritual that ends in them kissing. Boychild is mortified every time they're trying to read a take-out menu.
Shane gets into hockey commentary/podcasting and is notoriously. Um. Not Nice. A lot of "What?? What did I say??" It's never personal though. Just about players' shitty game.
Ilya is Big. Chunky. He's glorious. Muscle that now has fat over it. Arms like tree trunks. Torso: round. 100% Naturalized Canadian Citizen Beef. Hair, everywhere. Shane must BITE to check it all out and make sure everything is in order.
Shane gets really into individual athletics- rock climbing, marathons before he also gets busted ass knee syndrome, biking, swimming, anything where it's like testing the limits of his body against himself. Ilya is like a "fifty push-ups every day keeps me in shape enough to fuck you right" kind of guy, but he joins in sometimes just to make Shane get furious with competition
New rookie/juniors player billeting every year once boychild goes to music conservatory so they build a whole separate wing for the youngsters so it doesn't interfere with empty-nest fucking
Once they hit 50 they do get up stupid early like old men do and have old man coffee shop time with David Hollander (professional boring old man) at their favorite diner. Shane really cherishes this time with his dad and makes it a point to do it as often as they can. Conversely, they build Yuna a mother in law house when David passes away (death comes for us all) and she becomes crazy hockey mom to all their rookies.
Add your ownnnnn
there's a theragun in every room of the house and trying to unfuck their various Busted Ass Issues becomes just another step in sex prep
Shane is terrorising the local birdwatching community
Ilya is personally if inadvertently responsible for at least four divorces among his kid's schoolmate's parents
every time they attend a Centaurs game they end up on kiss cam (which isn't even a THING Shane is convinced they do this just to fuck with him) and they always pretend to be reluctant and roll their eyes and oh, fine, if you insist *smooch* *deafening cheers*
they're not really famous anymore anywhere EXCEPT Ottawa, where they're very famous but everybody's kind of agreed to be chill about it and also now that they ACTUALLY have time to spare they're just like, doing stuff. so you get an excited insta post from somebody new in town like omg i think i just saw shane hollander at tim horton's??? and the comments are all "dude obviously he always gets a coffee and a box of timbits thursday afternoon, where else would he be"
Dot I admit I was trying to summon you with this lmaooo
The Theragun in every room is everything. I'm also obsessed with routine man Shane but instead of like training and conditioning it's going to get timbits on Thursday afternoons lmao
If rent a girlfriend has no haters then I am dead.