Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
It's such a shame, because 4.12 "Criss Angel Is A Douchebag"âwritten by Julie Siegeâtakes SUCH an excellent look at Sam's motivations to returning to drinking demon blood through this maze of parallels that mirrors Sam's own conflicting and warring motivations... then she goes and writes 5.05 where Sam's motivations are completely different from what she wrote them to be in 4.12.
I mean arguably, the juxtaposition says that Siege knew exactly what she was doing when she went from 4.12 to 5.05. She wanted Sam to misrepresent the truth.
Okay let me explain what I mean about Sam's motivations in 4.12.
Season 3
All of season 3, Sam was trying to keep Dean from being dragged to hell by hellhounds when his year was up. He pitched numerous plans, including taking Dean to a faith healer (3.01), threatening a crossroad's demon into releasing Dean's contract using The Colt (3.05), working with Ruby to do whatever vague thing she said she could maybe possibly do to help save Dean (3.03, 3.09, 3.16), and turning himself and Dean into a Frankenstein's monsters (3.15). Dean rejected all of these plans. He rejected the faith healer probably in part because of what happened in 1.12, but also because at that time, he wanted to die. He rejected Ruby because he did not trust her at all and was completely convinced she was misrepresenting her motivations from the very beginning. He rejected the plan to use The Colt on a crossroad's demon because the demons said if he tried to get out of the deal, they'd kill Sam. He rejected the Frankenstein's monster plan because he would rather die than become a monster.
This whole season, Sam was frustrated that Dean rejected his many plans and wanted Dean to compromise his morals in ways Dean simply wouldn't. Behind Dean's back, Sam agreed to work with Ruby (3.04) and enacted the plan with The Colt. He also misrepresented the case in "Time Is On My Side" so he could investigate Doc Benton's alchemy without alerting Dean to what he was really up to. The sneaking around culminated in 3.16, where, hours from Dean's deal coming due, Sam became so desperate that he summoned Ruby behind Dean's back explicitly against Dean's dying wishes. Ruby sold Sam a story that he could save Dean that day and kill Lilith if he'd just do what she said. However, Dean knew Sam would go behind his back and showed up, stole Ruby's knife, and trapped her in the basement. Sam was upset and urged Dean to consider letting Ruby show Sam how to use his demon powers, but Dean insisted that he absolutely in no uncertain terms would not allow the family cycle of dealing with demons to save each other to continue in his name. He gave a big speech how they weren't going to turn themselves into monsters to save each other anymore. Dean would win with the knife, or he would go out fighting with the knife in a blaze of glory. Either way, he'd die human, knowing his brother didn't continue the demon deal cycle. Upset, but feeling Dean was morally in the right and wanting to respect Dean's dying wishes, Sam agreed to Dean's plan to face Lilith together with the knife. All of it went tits up, Dean got dragged to hell, and Sam was left devastated and grieving to the point of wanting to die.
Between Season 3 and 4
Sam became constantly drunk and put himself into reckless situations to try and get himself killed (4.09). He tried to force crossroads demons to trade his life for Dean's, and tried to open the devil's gate, but couldn't get Dean back and fell into despair (4.01). Ruby showed up and Sam immediately jumped at the opportunity to use his powers to get revenge on Lilith for killing Dean. He spent the next several months working with her, honing his powers and testing them against demons, and at one point, Ruby convinced Sam not to recklessly run to face Lilith because it was suicide and Dean wouldn't have wanted that (4.09).
4.01-4.11
The season opened with Sam working with Ruby in secret. In 4.04, Dean found out Sam was working with Ruby and reiterated his claims that it was a bad idea and she would lead him down a dark path. Sam said he worked with Ruby out of desperation, because he didn't know how to keep fighting without Dean. In that same episode, they met Jack Montgomery, who was about to go through a metamorphosis that would turn him into a monster. Sam lead the effort to tell Jack about his powers so he had an opportunity not to let himself be consumed by them, but in the end, Jack nearly ate Dean, and it made Sam so scared about his own powers that he quit demon blood cold turkey. He made it clear to Dean that his protests had nothing to do with Sam's decision. In 4.10 and in 4.12, Ruby showed up and tried to get Sam to drink more demon blood, and he rejected her, citing his belief that drinking demon blood is wrong. This stance continues until the end of 4.12.
4.12
So what happens in 4.12 "Criss Angel Is A Douchebag" that changes Sam's mind and sends him straight back to drinking demon blood?Sam and Dean meet a group of washed up old magicians. One of the magicians, Jay, is so sad about growing old and no longer being relevant that he plans to kill himself on the job through an escape act called "The Table of Death" that he knows he can't successfully perform. However, he miraculously survives, and another magician who mocked and belittled him dies. Initially, Jay has no idea about this and is just excited about his ability to do magic. However, he ends up finding out that every time he does a performance, someone dies, and eventually finds out his best friend Charlie is behind it, and specifically targeted people who mocked and belittled Jay as revenge. Charlie can do real magic, and he offers Jay and their other friend Vernon, immortality. He says they can all become young again and live forever together. Despite his sadness about growing old, Jay vehemently rejects Charlie's offer:
JAY
And who else has to die so that we can live forever? What's the price tag on immortality? This isn't right, Charlie, what you're doing. You know that. Somewhere, you know that.
CHARLIE
I know I don't want to come back alone, to start all over, alone.
Charlie reiterates his offer, not wanting to go on alone. Vernon is ready to agree, but in the end, Jay kills Charlie to save Sam and Dean's lives.
In the aftermath however, Jay is devastated by his own decision to save Sam and Dean instead of accepting Charlie's offer:
DEAN
Hey, Jay. We wanted to thank you for what you did yesterday.
JAY
I killed my best friend yesterday, and you want to thank me?
SAM
Where's Vernon?
JAY
Oh, he's gone. He said he didn't want to speak to me again after what I did to Charlie.
DEAN
Listen, Jay...you know Charlie was never gonna give up what he was doing. Ever. You did the right thing.
JAY
Are you sure about that? You know, Charlie was like my brother. And now he's dead... because I did "the right thing." He offered me a gift, and I just threw it back in his face. So now I have to spend the rest of my life old and alone. What's so right about that?
Sam nods as Jay says he shouldn't have rejected Charlie's offer. He agrees with Jay that it was a mistake to reject Charlie and immortality just because it was the morally right thing.
Sam was also already drawn in by Jay and Charlie's friendship in an earlier scene, where Jay described Charlie taking Jay under his wing when he was just a kid, always getting him out of trouble time and again. It clearly made Sam think of Dean (see: his speech at the end of 2.22 where he swears he'll save Dean).
Dean also says in this episode that he hopes he dies young (i.e., before he becomes too sad or jaded). Sam responds by romanticizing the idea of the two of them growing old. Dean says their lives will end bloody or sad and there's nothing they can do about it, which Sam finds devastatingâclearly remembering the pain he felt when Dean died bloody and he was the one left sad and alone (3.09, 4.04, 4.09) without his brother. Sam wondered about somehow ending evil once and for all by "cutting off the head of the snake" (which is how Ruby referred to killing Lilith earlier in the episode).
So when Sam hears Jay's devastation, what is Sam thinking? He's Sam reflecting back on season 3, and thinking he had a gift to offer Dean with every one of his plans Dean rejected, and Dean threw those gifts back in his face. He's thinking of his powers as a gift Dean rejected too that could have saved Dean. He's thinking about Ruby offering Sam a gift (training) on a silver platter and Sam throwing that in her face. He's thinking that the moral high ground isn't worth it. Even if drinking demon blood is wrong, it's better than ending up sad and alone without your brother.
In the last scene, Sam climbs into the car with Ruby:
SAM
Okay. I'm in.
RUBY
What changed your mind?
SAM
I don't want to be doing this when I'm an old man.
And even STILLâSiege doesn't miss Sam's other motivations either in 4.12. She addresses Sam's ego and desire for power through the self-absorbed, young, popular magician Jeb Dexter, who incorporates talk of demons and angels into his act, and pretends he's exorcizing demons with a deck of cards. Sam actually knows who he is and his reactions to Jeb's act clearly demonstrate that he doesn't think he's a douchebag like Dean does.
There's also a bit about perceived "stolen valor" when Jeb is on the phone:
JEB
It's a lame gig. I'm in a fleabag hotel doing this man-of-the-people crap, and freaking Angel's in Vegas doing Cirque du Soleil! That should have been mine.
Which can't help but remind me of Sam's repeated claims through the remainder of the episode that he's the only one who can stop the apocalypse, even when he's being told over and over that Dean's fated to do it.
What's so great about Jay though, is that he represents Sam and Dean. It's easy to see his despair and immediately connect him with Dean only because of his stalwart moral stance, and his claim that death would be better than growing old. However, like Sam, Jay ultimately regrets doing the right thing, and like Sam, Jay looks at Jeb Dexter in a different light:
JAY
Listen to the two of you. It's pathetic. Bitter old men talking about the glory days. You know what? This douchebag isn't the joke. We are.
CHARLIE
Hey, who you calling a joke?
JAY
Me, for one. That used to be us. You know, maybe he is a douchebag, but he's playing the main stage and we can't even afford an assistant. What the hell are we doing?
If Jeb represents the embracing douchebagery in order to win, then Jay is on board, and so is Sam. But this is also a representation of Sam's desire for power even if that power makes him an asshole. It would still be better than being old washed up magicians waiting to all die one by one, sad and alone.
There are lines of dialogue from Jay that apply to Sam and Dean simultaneously, like Jay saying, "Who cares if it kills me? At least I'll go out with a headline". This reflects Dean wanting to go out in a blaze of glory in season 3, but also foreshadows Sam at the end of season 4 being ready to die killing Lilith in a blaze of glory.
THEN there's Jay's initial interest in using these new powers he doesn't understand without questioning anything at all, and without stopping to consider what the consequences might be, because he's just happy to be on top.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Reading through your Sam tags after your excellent post regarding 8.23 I was struck by a weird thought. Do Sam and Dean even really like each other? Do they genuinely understand each other? I am coming to the conclusion that while they care for each other due to circumstance I donât think they would be âfriendsâ in a normal life. Thatâs such a depressing thought to me but so often what they want/believe seems to be at odds held together by the thread of âheâs my brotherâ. I feel like, irl we would be saying they need to cut off the toxic relationship. Lisa did say this and I think she was right.
I think we can conclude that Dean thinks he and Sam wouldn't be close if not for everything that's happened, given his djinn dream in 2.20 shows him and Sam are estranged. The show tells us there are other realities where Sam and Dean aren't closeâfor exampleâLebanon and (sort of) The French Mistake, but it also shows us HunterCorp Sam and Dean who live a very different life and had a very different upbringing, but are still close.
I think Sam and Dean would agree that shared experience is part of what makes them close in their universe, and in another, their childhood experiences might have torn them apart, but that didn't happen. I also think Sam especially makes it pretty clear that he prefers a world where he and Dean are close.
See 2.20 "What Is And What Should Never Be" when Dean tells Sam about the djinn dream:
SAM: So we didn't get along then, huh?
DEAN: Nah.
SAM: Yeah... I thought it was supposed to, to be this perfect fantasy.
DEAN: It wasn't. It was just a wish. I wished for Mom to live. That Mom never died, we never went hunting and you and me just never uh... you know.
SAM: Yeah. Well, I'm glad we do. And I'm glad you dug yourself out, Dean. Most people wouldn't've had the strength, would have just stayed.
And the end of 6.15 "The French Mistake":
DEAN: You know that if we drop Virgil, get the key, then this might be it. We might be stuck here.
SAM: No, we'll figure out a way back.
DEAN Yeah, you wouldn't be that broken up if we didn't, though.
SAM: What? Don't be stupid.
DEAN: Well, I'm just saying. No hell below us, above us only sky.
SAM: Dean, our friends are back there.
DEAN: Yeah, but here, you got a pretty good life. I mean, back home, the hits have been coming since you were 6 months old. You got to admit, being a-a bazillionare, married to Ruby, the whole package. It's no contest.
SAM: No, you know, you were right. We just don't mean the same thing here. I mean, we're not even brothers here, man.
We can also point to 4.17 "It's A Terrible Life", when Zachariah again makes it so Sam and Dean aren't brothers anymore, and forces them into a fake life, and Sam ends up asking Dean to hit the road with him and become a ghost hunter, while knowing nothing of their history:
SAM: We should keep doing this.
DEAN: I know.
SAM: I mean it. There gotta be other ghosts out there. We could help a lot of people.
DEAN: Right, we'd be like the Ghostfacers.
SAM: No, really. I mean, for real.
DEAN: What? Like, quit our jobs and hit the road?
SAM: Exactly.
DEAN: How would we live?
SAM: Uh...
DEAN: You gotta be kidding me. How would we get by? With stolen credit cards? Huh? Eating diner food drenched in saturated fats? Sharing a crap motel room every night?
SAM: That's all just details.
DEAN: Details are everything. You don't wanna go fighting ghosts without any health insurance.
SAM: All right. Um. Confession.
DEAN: What?
SAM: Remember those dreams I told you about with the ghosts?
DEAN: Yeah?
SAM: I was fighting them.
DEAN: Okay.
SAM: With you. We were these, like, hunters, and we were friends. More like brothers, really. I mean, what if that's who we really are? I mean, you saw us back there, working together. The ghost was scrambling people's brains. What if it scrambled ours?
DEAN: That's insane.
SAM: Is it? Think about it for just one second. What if we think this is our life, but it's not?
DEAN: Hey, man, the ghost is dead and we're still standing. I mean, I'm sorry, butâ
SAM: Look, all I know is this isn't who we're supposed to be.
DEAN: No. I'm Dean Smith, okay? Director of Sales and Marketing. I went to Stanford. My father's name is Bob, my mother's name is Ellen, and my sister's name is Jo.
SAM: When was the last time you talked to them? To any of them?
DEAN: Okay, you're upset. You're upset, you're confusedâ
SAM: Yeah, 'cause I only moved here 'cause I just broke up with my fiancĂŠe, Madison. But I called her number and I got a damn animal hospital.
DEAN: Okay. What are you saying? Are you trying to say that my family isn't real? Huh? That we've been injected with fake memories? Come on.
SAM: All I know is, I got this feeling in my gut. And I knowâI know that deep down, you gotta be feeling it too. We're supposed to be something else. You're not just some corporate douchebag. This isn't you. I know you.
DEAN: Know me? You don't know me, pal. You should go.
One interesting thought that emerges here is whether Dean feels differently than Sam about this, and a secret part of him might prefer more distance from Sam. But I think the fact that Dean's 2.20 djinn dream transitions into an estranged Sam figuring out something is up with Dean and hitting the road with him, and Dean being genuinely touched by Sam's rejection of the French Mistake universe shows that isn't so cut and dry. I think there are definitely points where Sam and Dean want nothing to do with each other, but I also think that's brought about by circumstances and betrayals rather than a general dislike of each other as people. I think there are points where Dean doesn't like Sam but still loves him, but I think if we catch them on an off day/week/apocalypse, we're also making inferences from a biased sample. It's not easy to be a good brother when apocalypses are happening and demons are after you and want to wear you as a meatsuit and you've been through incredible grief/torture/pain/loss on top of a bunch of childhood trauma and evil forces are trying to use you for evil and you feel like a monster and it's all accumulating over time and you never actually have the space to deal with it as much as you wait for breaks where you can finally breathe. Does that mean you abandon each other because your relationship is "toxic" or do you give each other grace because your lives are fucking insane? Like I definitely think there are things Sam and Dean don't get about each other, but I also think experiencing a lot of trauma together is something that makes you understand other parts of each other in a way no one else ever will, and there's a comfort in that that I'm not willing to paint as toxic.
I also think Sam and Dean tend to conflate hunting with each other, so if one wants to hunt and the other doesn't, it influences how they feel about being close to each other. For example, despite grieving Sam for a solid year, when Sam actually shows up in 6.01/6.02, Dean promotes distanceâin the opening of 6.02, when Sam asks for his help, Dean refuses until a baby is mentioned. I also think Lisa's analysis of the situation in 6.06 is colored by the fact that she doesn't have all the details, and the idea that Sam is the catalyst for Dean ditching normal keeps coming up, but is frustratingly misleading. Trying to grasp normal for Dean... Sam isn't the problem. The problem is decades of cumulative trauma and Dean's belief that he is a monster and a danger to the Braedens both directly and indirectly through retaliation from his enemies (Dean also says some of this under a truth spell in 6.06 and to Ben in 6.14). Soulless Sam doesn't help with that, but "co-dependency" isn't what drives Dean away.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
Samgirls talking about season 4 Dean's fear of season 4 Sam turning himself into a monster is often so funny because much like season 4 Sam... they... simply forget that Dean spent 40 years in hell being tortured... and that that process is in fact the process that creates demons in the Supernatural universe. Dean was being corrupted toward demonhood for four decades. Sam was simply speedrunning the "becoming a demon" process by drinking blood (a far more pleasant process than the way it happened to Dean).
When Dean gets terrified of Sam turning into a monster (a demon!) it's not a dogmatic "monster bad" or "Dad said so" coming from Mr I Have Never Experienced The Pain Of Slowly Turning Into A Monster. Dean literally had experienced that. He told Sam about it and everything (and then Sam called him a pussy about it like 17 times in a row and ignored it so so do samgirls I guess. It never happened since Sam said it was no big deal and Dean was actually just a wuss.)
When Dean is extremely adamant about Sam not turning himself into a monster he is speaking from having actually felt what that is like. It is Dean being terrified for Sam over something that Dean himself has actually experienced beginning to happen to him. It's just when it was happening to Dean, it was in a context where he could not stop it, while Sam is repeatedly making the choice to keep doing this to himself for a variety of Reasonsâ˘ď¸.
The house Gen and kids are in is NOT the main house, the farm they filmed Walker scenes in (which no one has seen from Gen since last April), or any of their other known properties. If you look at the Perimenopause book talk you will notice a green room they have never been seen in before. Jared mentioned having "a good cry" in therapy before that book talk. Yeah and ummmmm idk if you know about the breakdown he apparently had at JIB last month where he spoke of "missing the kids" that Saturday. Jensen allegedly offered Jared his arm to squeeze from the high stress he was under. He even stayed until Tuesday morning or so, did the Monday special at JIB.
This house was listed as being rented as of Jan 2 and taken off the market Jan 5. Jared's Favor post was made on Jan 4 at night. Me thinks he was using social media to vent about his broken leg, bad food service experience AND this rental agreement being signed. Yeah, things are getting weird over in the Pada household, I'm just saying...
Bottom line is, Gen is lying about so called house repairs on her little Substack post she makes a whole sentence statement about as if the rental house is history (not true). Interestingly so, Gen and Jared sued their contractor spring 2019 and voluntarily dropped the suit fall 2023 (suggesting a settlement of sorts). I don't think they want to actually do renovations. Also they gutted the place down to the studs doing the renovations and never moved. Soooooo the roof leaks in the book room she won't film her book talks in anymore and she needs to rent a house that costs more every month than their mortgage? Not buying it.
oop⌠đ
sorry I have been so in-and-out these days. but this is an easy share. thanks anon!
per her fatherâs day post, Gen was also out of town with Odette that whole weekend at a crunchy womenâs retreat. sheâs got lots of new sister wives in her IG stories as of late too.
not one but 3 birthday IG story posts for this lady a couple weeks ago:
she also shared a video of Pearl Jam singing âBetter Manâ to her story yesterday.
itâs all justâŚinteresting. but this cryptic stuff has been going on for YEARS.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
â Live Streamingâ Interactive Chatâ Private Showsâ HD Qualityâ Free Actions
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
kianamaiart
pixelskylines
vaporwave
germansingergirl
romaincrisis
tangentwithtanner
