lady of the moon

Hi, I hope you're well. I'm lady of the moon, you can call me lady. Welcome to my blog. I'll be sure to overshare here, make cringe posts and talk about nothing. I'm a depressed girl looking to chill and express myself because this seems to be the only place. Thanks for joining.

She/her

A bit more about me, i love supernatural, forever a destiel shipper, love all things hannibal, read ao3 and write my own, though I doubt I'll ever have the confidence to disclose myself here, fiona apple is my favourite singer, MCR, Green Day, Florence + The Machine and Batman is my bitch, and if i weren't so poor I would look as goth as I am lol. I love corpse bride, a proud lover of 10 things I hate about you, and just about any film I can get my hands on, I <3 physical media and love playing video games, including Minecraft, god of war, detroit become human, Batman (all series) and the last of us and animals have my whole heart and my favourite colour is purple, im sure youre surprised to hear that after being blinded by my banner

I wonder if something will come of this. Feel free to join me, idk maybe you'll find solace where another cannot. Oh and fuck ai slop.

Feel free to dm if you want to be moots! No one under 16 pls <3

Hello dear,

I'm feeling rather tired lately, as though no matter how many times I fall into sleep, or I rest, I will never get away from this lethargy.

I have struggles with going back to places that are no longer present. It can be hard, haunting is the best word I can think of for it. As though I am haunted by the ghost of someone, of their actions, their words. I feel poisoned by those words. I thought I had gotten better at staying where I was, but it would seem otherwise. It's as though my mind's eye can no longer see clearly during these times. My eyes, physical, I mean, they can see perfectly, just as though they normally would through tears, but my mind, it becomes fogged, disoriented, and no matter what I do, I cannot shake the feeling of that place.

It was so much easier going through this in a place that simply wasn't acceptable for a reaction like this, there I could close my mind off from the world, make it so that my mind could see nothing, like blindfolding a horse so as not to spook it from unknown terrors, the horse can still navigate, but not react.

But I am not a horse, and I cannot willingly blind myself, it's not a feature that has grown to be controllable unfortunately.

I always feel a little lost afterwards, it probably won't last long, this fog. I wonder if this is how it felt to wander in Wonderland, oh to be a girl in fiction, mysterious and not quite right in a way that does not stand out in that wonderous place.

That's enough bullshit for today.

Goodbye for now,

Hello dear,

Today, I wanted to talk about my weight, this post is about my experience and my thoughts on the up and down journey I've had with my weight, and perhaps some advice from a girl who has hated herself into fitting a shape, that will never be mine, and will never be yours either. I want to preface this by saying that I do not have an ED as far as I am aware. Though I do have many disordered eating tendencies, I do not believe I have an ED. I mainly wanted to talk about my perception of myself when it came/comes to my weight, and my appearance. I am a thin girl. I always have been. But that is not something I say with malice or pride, as I know that the weight I am at now and the weights I've been at since I was young are unhealthy. The reason I am talking about it today, is because as much as I've been mindlessly aware that my weight or lack thereof is an issue for me both mentally and physically, it wasn't until I got told I was the same weight as my healthy 10 year old cousin that it put it into perspective for me. He is under 5 foot. I, a 17 year old girl who is at an average height, should not be the same weight as my 10 year old cousin, and I don't think I was able to put into perspective how serious that was until now. I have suffered with depression for a long time, and have bouts of hyperactivity which means I have been able to dangerously teeter on the line of sickly thin, and looking 'pretty' enough. I have had many thoughts of shame when it comes to the way I look and have been bullied my entire life for my appearance, so, as it would with anyone, it has now been internalised. It has been difficult, but important to me, that I focus on the way I think of myself since this, because, although I am unhealthy, I am here to help myself, not judge, if all I did was judge, I would get nowhere in my health and weight gain journey. Which is why, I wanted to talk on here so that people know that no matter what weight your at, whether you're thin or large, whether it's healthy or not, there is nothing ugly about you. Sure, there is a medical issue at hand, and it is important you care for yourself and your health, but when you look in the mirror and you see yourself, whether you see your folds, or your ribs, or you see the way your stomach sticks out, or you notice how much you can see your spine, you are not disgusting, you are not ugly, and you cannot hate yourself into changing, it simply doesn't work like that, love. I want to make it clear, I do not and am not encouraging EDs of any type. That being said, there are people who do have issues like those with an ED, and it is important that when you realise you have a problem, you do not blame yourself, do not make the reason for your change, and your health, be that you want to be prettier, or that you want others to think a certain way about you. Make the change because when you look in the mirror, you see someone, a girl, a guy, someone, hurting, you see they need help and you are the one who can give them that help. Once again, I do not believe I have an eating disorder, and do not want to come across like I know everything about it, but I do know what it feels like to see yourself and feel the need to critique and punish yourself to become 'better'. Do not fall for the trap that your body is, and will be perfect if you could just get prettier, because at the end of the day, your body is your body, and a body will never be perfect, that is the beauty of life and of people, you are young, you are human, and the important thing is, is that you love yourself through your journey of health and self care. If you already live in a world that is so cruel to you, do not make the only safe person you have join in on that cruelty.

There are no straight lines in nature. So why should there be in humans? We are derived from nature, are we not?

I hope that this comes across the way I want it to, I just know that I wanted to help myself and others, and hopefully this does, thank you for reading.

"You are here to understand yourself, not be understood."

I unfortunately cannot find the original author, it would seem many different people on different platforms have said this same quote, I feel it somewhat poetic that even when trying to search for one person who said it, I can only find the words of many.

My only hope is that this post spreads kindness, not judgement, as I feel it is important for everyone to offer kindness in a world that seems so heavy lately.

Goodbye for now,