MIRIAM

im so fucking fat. i need to start ⭐️ving myself again because its the only thing i can get away with without getting insitutionalized. i miss being underweight i miss people worrying about me i miss working out till i vomited i miss how much it hurt. maybe once i do the people i like will actually like me back instead of seeing me as the fat ugly loser i am. i hate my thighs not just because of how fat they are but because of these goddamn scars that are never going to go away. id be less mad if i could recover from hurting myself at my own terms but to avoid overheating i have to experience bitches commenting about my body that idek. i miss all my hospital friends. we talk every day but its not the same as seeing them every day and having a bomb ass roomate. i want to go back to my alternative school too but since im “recovered” i cant. i miss being skinny