Why Double Standards With Gender Roles Is Not âSexism Against Menâ
The fact that boys are given more grief for liking things that are stereotypically feminine than girls who like things that are stereotypically masculine is commonly cited as âsexism against menâ. However, the reason for that is because âbeing femaleâ is often considered to be inferior. When a girl/woman is criticized for transgressing gender roles, itâs generally because of the belief that they are âacting above her stationâ - i.e. taking on a role that she âdoesnât deserveâ. And, yes, that does still happen. When a boy/man is criticized for transgressing gender roles, itâs because of the belief that he is âlowering himselfâ - i.e. taking on a role that âis beneath himâ. So the context is very different.
Of course, we should be supportive of boys like Dyson Kilodavis - and I really do commend his parents for being open-minded of his choices. My heart does go out to the children, boys and girls alike, who are discouraged by their parents from transgressing gender roles - and punished when they do. I donât think that is right, and children should be free to like what they like.
Nonetheless, itâs the patriarchy that says boys and men canât like feminine thing. Yes, it does hurt the boys and men who donât live up to societyâs standards of âmanlinessâ - but the reason for that is because women are considered to be weaker than men.
In short, this is general attitude regarding gender roles: When women take on masculine gender roles, they are âraising themselves up to menâ. When men take on feminine gender roles, they are âlowering themselves down to womenâ.
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