lady-riel

“This is the first Solstice ever that my family can be a real family,” said Eris. “The first year without Beron. The first year that we’re not all puppets doing his bidding in an effort not to get burned. I need to be here for them.”

“This is the first Solstice since I left and moved to Autumn,” retorted Azriel, his wings tucked in so far they were nearly touching. “Solstice is so important to Rys and Cassian, plus it’s Feyre’s birthday, and I want them to know I haven’t completely abandoned them.”

Eris blew out his breath in frustration. They’d been at this fight for an hour. He’d thought that after so many centuries together, hiding in secret, that once their relationship came out into the light everything would be easier. But it seemed like they only had new problems now. Like where to spend Solstice this year.

“You have a lifetime of Solstices ahead of you to be with your brothers. The brothers you don’t even like!” Azriel growled. “And your mother is going to be in Day Court with Helion.” 

Rage suffused his body at Azriel’s dismissiveness. Eris clenched his jaw and rubbed his gritty eyes. “I can’t take any more of this tonight. I’m going to sleep.”

He stalked off to their bedroom and shed his clothes down to his underwear, his skin hot and prickling from their fight. 

Flinging himself into bed, Eris extinguished the lights. Petty, he knew. Azriel could get undressed in the dark just fine, but occasionally he needed to sleep with the lights on, and usually Eris would ask him if he preferred them left on before they went to bed. 

Eris took some deep breaths to try to calm down, then shifted to lie on his side, facing the wall. 

A few minutes later, Azriel walked in on silent footsteps, as he always did. His clothes rustled as he took them off and dropped them in the basket, then the bed dipped under his weight. 

Eris didn’t turn over. Rage still simmered inside of him.

Azriel sighed into the darkness and the bed shifted again as he moved. His hand brushed down over Eris’s bare arm.

The anger smoldering within Eris ignited and he yanked his shoulder away from Azriel’s touch. He heard the sharp intake of Azriel’s breath, and Eris bit out, “I don’t want to be touched right now.”

Azriel didn’t say anything and rolled over. The sound of his wings shifting whispered in the room.

A twinge of regret creeped through Eris, but the anger quelled it. Azriel remained still and silent, and after a long time, Eris finally drifted off.

****

The shout that woke him was deeply familiar. Azriel’s nightmares woke them both quite often. Eris felt the bed shift, and he twisted and rose up on his elbow, catching sight of Azriel’s bare back as he stumbled towards the open balcony off their bedroom. In the dim room, his wings looked like black voids in front of his body. 

The sheer curtains separating the room from the balcony billowed in the night air as Azriel slipped past them. Since Eris’s magic always kept the room warm, there weren’t any doors.

Eris lay on the bed for a moment, propped on his forearm. His other hand scrubbed over his face. The fight and the anger rushed back as he shook off sleep. The anger was muted, but still lingered, curled within him. 

Eris wondered if Azriel had flown off. He occasionally took flights after bad nightmares, but usually it was enough to bury his face in the crook of Eris’s shoulder while Eris rubbed his back. It was quite strange for Azriel to leave the bed immediately. Eris assumed he was still angry too. 

When Azriel didn’t come back after a couple minutes, he gave into the slight worry niggling at him, climbed out of bed, and padded barefoot outside to see if Azriel was still on the balcony. 

He was. 

Half bent over, wings shaking, gasping for breath, Azriel’s two scarred hands gripped the balcony railing like it was the only thing anchoring him to this world.

All the remaining anger eddied out of Eris like the sea’s tide going out. 

He hurried over and ducked under Azriel’s left elbow, standing in the lee between his outstretched arms, before his bowed form.

He took Azriel’s face in both of his hands. 

“Bunny,” he whispered, his pet name for him, which Az pretended to hate but Eris knew he secretly loved. Eris had started calling him that centuries beforehand, early in their relationship, because he once joked that the way the tucked-in Illyrian wings stuck up over Azriel’s head resembled bunny ears. 

“Breathe, Bunny.” 

Eris ran his hands through Azriel’s sweat-damp hair, down his neck, his bare shoulders. Tugging Az up by his neck, Eris caught sight of the tears running down his face as he gasped for breath. 

“C’mon, love, slow deep breaths,” Eris murmured, dragging his thumbs back and forth over Azriel’s cheekbones. “It’s okay, Bunny. Everything’s going to be okay, I promise.”

Azriel’s arms shook beside Eris’s hips as he struggled to exhale more slowly. Gradually his breaths deepened and slowed against Eris’s continuous stream of soothing words, and he rested his forehead on Eris’s shoulder, tucked into his neck. Eris pressed a kiss to his hair and Azriel let out a tiny sigh.

Eris never stopped running his hands over Azriel’s skin, over his face, his shoulders and arms. As Azriel calmed down, Eris smoothed over his deltoids, his muscled forearms, back to Azriel’s hands which were still gripping the balcony railing. 

But when he brushed over the scarred skin, Azriel jerked back, tucking his hands behind him. His eyes were shut and his face was twisted up. He breathed heavily through his nose.

Eris froze. “Az,” he murmured.

Shock and horror sluiced through him. Time drew out, slowed and sharp. There was a dim roaring in his head as the scene from earlier played in his head.

Eris swallowed, his dry throat. He felt like he was walking on the edge of a cliff. His heart beat furiously. 

“I didn’t want to be touched,” he whispered. “It had nothing to do with your hands.” 

Azriel didn’t move, his shadows swarming around him. Only his brow tightened, which told Eris everything he needed to know. 

“Look at me, Azriel,” Eris implored. “Please.”

His eyes cracked open. Darkness lurked in them. Distrust. 

It broke Eris’s heart.

“I was mad,” Eris confessed, trying to swallow again. “I just didn’t want to be touched.”

Azriel hadn’t moved, his hands still hidden behind his back. 

Eris pressed on. “It had nothing to do with your hands,” he said. “Nothing. You know how much I love your hands. If you had put your foot on me, I’d have reacted the same way. Cauldron, if you’d have put your dick on me I’d have reacted the same way, and you definitely know how much I love your dick.”

The corner of Azriel’s mouth ticked just a tiny bit. It gave Eris enough hope to keep going.

“You know how much I love your hands,” he repeated, urgency coloring his voice. “I’ve told you ten thousand times. I’ve kissed them ten thousand times. I’ve put salve on them ten thousand times. Please,” he begged, “Please don’t let one second of me being stupid and angry erase that.”

Eris could feel pressure building behind his eyes, Azriel’s motionless figure going blurry. “I’m so sorry, Bunny. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

He took a shaky breath. “I didn’t—” Tears welled, then one spilled down his left cheek. “I didn’t mean to make you doubt four hundred years of—of—”

Azriel suddenly moved, reaching out to cup Eris’s face, his thumb swiping away the wetness there. Eris inhaled sharply and leaned his face into the curve of Azriel’s hand. 

“I know, Gingerbread,” Azriel murmured. “I know you didn’t.”

Warmth flooded his veins, heating the ice that chilled them, the ice his magic couldn’t seem to touch.

“Come here,” Azriel said, dragging Eris closer by his neck, embracing him. Eris slipped his arms around the small of Azriel’s back.

He heaved a sigh, his body relaxing in Azriel’s arms as the adrenaline slowly leaked out of him. 

A while later, a calm quiet floating between them, Eris pulled back a little, reaching up to brush Azriel’s hair back from his forehead. “I just remembered that we didn’t put salve on your hands tonight.”

Azriel’s brows went up slightly. “Because you flounced off to bed.”

“I did not flounce!” Eris sputtered.

“You flounced,” Azriel said, a ghost of a smirk playing on his face. “Even though I was pissed, it was still kind of cute.”

Eris rolled his eyes then met Azriel’s gaze. He bit his lip timidly. “Will you let me put salve on now?”

Azriel searched his face for a moment. Eris held his breath. “Say you flounced off to bed and I’ll let you.”

Eris sighed dramatically. “No.”

“Say it.”

“No.”

“Say it.”

“Fine, I flounced.” Eris glared at him playfully. “A little bit.”

Azriel’s lips curved. “I’ll accept it.”

***

Eris lit the lamps while Azriel got into bed, sitting up against the headboard, his wings arranged around him. Padding to the bathing room to get the salve, Eris glanced back at Azriel who was focused on pushing the sheets down with his feet. Warmth curled his chest that had nothing to do with his magic.

After retrieving the jar from the counter where they always kept it, Eris crawled into bed, climbing on top of Azriel to straddle him, seated in his lap. 

The salve helped with the lingering pain of the scars and his hand flexibility. Massaging it in was something Eris had done every night they were together, and now that he was High Lord and Azriel had moved in, it was nightly. Azriel would always roll his eyes and mutter that his two hands could rub themselves perfectly fine, but Eris insisted. It was his favorite time of day. And Az wouldn’t admit it but it was his too.  

The familiar menthol scent of the salve floated up between them. Eris cupped a hand around Azriel’s neck and leaned forward to capture his lips in a slow, gentle kiss, tangling their tongues together. Azriel’s large hands gripped Eris’s thighs, running up and down them.

Eris finally pulled back, smiling down at Azriel. He picked up one of the scarred hands off his thigh and drew it up and dropped a kiss on the whorled skin. He did it again, holding Azriel’s gaze.

Something flickered in Azriel’s eyes, then disappeared.

Dipping his fingers into the salve, Eris spread it over Azriel’s hands, working it into the grooves and ridges. Every inch of those scarred hands had been long committed to memory. 

Azriel glanced down from time to time, but mostly met Eris’s eyes, though there seemed to be an edge of nerves in those hazel orbs, in the way his teeth worked as his lower lip.

Eris dipped his head down to capture them, kissing him softly.  

When he pulled away, Azriel mumbled, “I could do this myself, you know.”

“Shut up. I’m doing it and you can’t stop me.”

Azriel’s gaze flickered down to his hands and then back up to Eris, a small smile on his face.

They were quiet for a minute as Eris worked. He weighed if he should leave the moment or broach what had been tumbling around in his head. 

Throwing caution to the wind, Eris said in a soft voice, “I know it seems like I don’t like my brothers.” Azriel went still. “But I’ve never known them outside of the shadow of Beron. I want to give them a chance to show who they actually are.” He sighed. “I want to see if we can be a real family, instead of a group of vipers vying for self-preservation.”

Azriel searched his face. “I’m sorry,” he said. “That I upset you so much. That I threw it in your face that you didn’t like them.”

Eris shook his head. “You weren’t wrong. I just don’t want it to be that way. And it feels like this could be our first chance, and I need to take it. And if I let the moment pass by…” He trailed off.

Azriel was quiet for a moment. 

“Maybe,” he began, his voice raspy, then cleared his throat. “Maybe I could ask Rhys if he’d push dinner back an hour, and you could move Autumn’s forward an hour, and we could…do both.” His voice rose a little at the end, almost but not quite a question.

Azriel’s hands were nearly dry by now, the salve fully absorbed into the scarred skin. Eris ducked his head down to kiss them again. 

He straightened. “Are you going to rub my belly after I’ve eaten two dinners?”

Azriel snorted. “Sure, Gingerbread, I’ll rub your belly. Even though I’ve seen you eat four dinners and be perfectly fine.”

“You promised to never mention that night again!” Eris exclaimed hotly, prompting Azriel to unleash a silent laugh, the bed shaking beneath them.

“Okay?” Azriel asked after he calmed down. 

“Okay,” Eris responded, nodding. He pressed his lips together for a moment, his hands still running over Az’s scarred ones. “Are we okay?” 

Azriel nodded. “Yeah. We’re okay, Gingerbread.”

The remaining tightness coiled within him loosened, then dissolved. Eris wrapped his arms around Azriel’s neck and kissed him, softly, then with more urgency, and Azriel responded. Heat blossomed between them, intense, scorching. 

He drew his nails down Azriel’s upper back, down to the branches of his wings and fingered the tough membranes there, making Azriel hiss into the kiss and his cock jerk under Eris. He ground down on it, feeling the length thicken against his balls, his own cock hard in his black undershorts. 

Azriel massaged Eris’s dick through his shorts, and a soft moan escaped from him before he recaptured Azriel’s mouth, their tongues sliding together.

“I want to fuck you,” Eris murmured. “I want to take care of you.”

“Yes,” Azriel answered, licking at Eris’s neck. 

Eris pulled away, rising off Az’s lap and dragging him forward by his arm to twist and lay across the bed, wings splayed out.

He looked down at all that golden skin, gleaming in contrast against the darkness everywhere—dark hair, dark wings, dark underwear, dark shadows, dark sheets. And the glorious darkness he knew lay inside his shadowsinger. 

With a flick of fire magic, both of the shorts they were wearing burned away. Azriel narrowed his eyes playfully. 

“How many times do I have to tell you I don’t like fire near my dick?”

Eris grinned. “How many times do I need to suck your dick for you to know I’d never let anything happen to it?”

“Once more, evidently,” Azriel retorted. An old game of theirs. 

And like always, Eris complied, expertly taking the thick cock deep down his throat. A groan punched out of Azriel’s chest. 

Eris’s tongue dragged up his length as he pulled back, sucking on the crown, and then flicked along the largest vein on his way back down. His throat rippled around the member, making Azriel thrust up involuntarily, his hips jerking. 

Azriel might excel at rimming, but sucking cock was Eris’s speciality and it never failed to make Az wild.

“Want—want you inside of me,” gasped Azriel moments later, his hands clenching and unclenching around the bedsheets. 

Eris pulled off, pressing his tongue into Az’s slit one last time, making him curse, low and dirty. 

Summoning oil from the pocket, Eris coated his fingers, then breached Azriel’s hole. He stretched Azriel slowly, soon adding a second finger, then crooked them together, firmly stroking the bundle of nerves that sent a stream of babbling filth tumbling from Azriel’s mouth. 

Eris smirked. There was nothing he loved more than reducing Azriel to this. 

“Need your cock now,” Azriel begged. “Please, Gingerbread, please give it to me.”

By now Eris was three fingers deep, rhythmically stimulating Azriel’s prostate. Azriel reached down to stroke his own cock, seeking relief, but Eris slapped it away. 

“That’s mine, and I say when it gets touched,” Eris growled. 

A dark red flush suffused Azriel’s chest and cheeks. He moaned. But obeyed. 

“Please,” he whined, “Please put it in me.” His fingers were twisted so tight in the sheets that Eris wondered if they’d rip. 

“No,” Eris said, “You have to earn my cock in your ass.” 

He slicked up his dick with oil using his other hand, just to drive Azriel crazier.

“Eris, please—”

“Tell me how much I love your hands.”

Azriel lifted his head and glared at Eris. Then he dropped it back to stare at the ceiling. The blush in his cheeks deepened. 

“Tell me how much I love your hands,” Eris repeated, mercilessly dragging his fingertips over the spot inside Azriel that was making his cock leak like a faucet, pearls of liquid gleaming at the tip and then dripping down the sides and pooling in the deep grooves of his abs.

Az moaned again but didn’t say anything.

“Tell me—how much—I love—your hands,” Eris demanded, punctuating each phrase with a curl of his fingers.

Azriel broke. “So much,” He sobbed out the words, “You love my hands so fucking much, they’re your favorite part of me, you think they’re so hot, you love them, you love them, you love them, please, please—”

Eris pulled his fingers out, and slid his cock into Azriel in one smooth motion. Azriel cried out in relief. Setting a fast pace, Eris had one hand on his shoulder for leverage and the other hand slipped into Azriel’s, intertwining their fingers against the sheets.

Azriel’s legs wrapped around Eris’s waist and his cock bobbed between them, dark red and straining. Eris took his lips in a bruising kiss, then bit his way down Azriel’s neck to the sound of nonsense flowing out of his mouth. Begging and pleading.

Soon Eris pulled back and withdrew from Azriel’s hole. Azriel let out a dismayed, broken noise. 

“Turn over,” Eris murmured, and he complied, scrambling onto his hands and knees. 

Eris moved his knees on the inside of Az’s, coaxing them wider, and re-entered him smoothly, then tugged him back by his hips so they were both kneeling, lined up chest to back. Eris’s arm was wrapped around his chest and Azriel clutched his hand like a lifeline.

Azriel’s wings fluttered every time Eris’s cock hit his prostate, signaling how close he was.

“Okay,” Eris rasped, close to losing control himself, “You can touch your dick now, since you begged so beautifully for me.”

Azriel’s hand immediately went to grip his cock, his body sagging in relief as he stroked it. Eris brought his own hand down and wrapped it around Azriel’s, both of them jerking him off together. 

“Such perfect hands,” he crooned in Az’s ear, “Wrapped around such a perfect cock.” Azriel moaned and his head dropped back onto Eris’s shoulder. “Every inch of you is fucking perfect. All that perfect skin. All that beautiful darkness underneath it.”

Azriel clenched around Eris as he erupted, his come spurting across his chest and abs, over both of their hands. Eris gasped as his own orgasm washed over him, coming deep within Azriel’s ass. 

They both fell forward, Azriel’s wings still quivering, and Eris dropped kisses down his spine as his breathing eased. 

Sitting back, Eris withdrew slowly, then watched his come drip down Az’s leg, smirking with satisfaction at it for a moment, before he erased both of their releases with a snap of magic.

Azriel was still crumpled on his hands and knees. Eris twisted on the bed to lay back against the pillows, dragging Azriel by the wrist to curl up against his side. 

Kissing Azriel’s forehead, Eris murmured, “Love you, Bunny.” 

He could feel Az smile against his skin. “I love you too, Gingerbread.”

They lay there for a moment, cuddling. Eris reached out to take Azriel’s hand and brought it to his mouth, kissing the scarred skin, before resting it on his chest, his own hand covering it. 

Azriel yawned contentedly before peering up at Eris. “That was a little mean,” he said ruefully. 

Eris played dumb. “Which part?”

Rolling his eyes, Azriel responded, “You know which part.”

Eris laughed. “You can pay me back later.”

“Don’t worry, I intend to.”

Eris kissed him. “Looking forward to it.”

Azriel laid back against him, his nose tucked into the crook of Eris’s neck, while Eris nuzzled his forehead. 

“You want me to leave the light on tonight?” Eris murmured into his skin. 

Mumbling a little, Azriel nodded against him. 

Eris dimmed the lights to the level Azriel liked, and then drew the bedsheets over them.