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We’ve been shoving the stuff into caves in Missouri because there’s so much of it we haven’t really had anywhere else to put it because you can’t just destroy cheese. You try to burn it and it melts. It’s so heavily processed that it doesn’t biodegrade, and it can’t be fed to animals or turned into anything else. Our only other alternatives would be to dump it into the ocean which we would absolutely not do ever since the whole medical waste thing or to launch it into space which is way too expensive.

In the 1980s Reagan began a government cheese program to distribute some of the excess to welfare and food stamps recipients. And since then we’ve had the Got Milk? campaign which was a government scheme to get the general public to consume more dairy products to help slow the stockpiling. (By the way, cow milk may not be as good for us as we’re led to believe. There’s a lot of debate in the scientific community about whether the hormones present in the milk might have a link to cancer.)

Our surplus cheese is also why so many restaurants put so goddamn much of it into absolutely everything. A division of the federal government known as Dairy Management heavily promotes any restaurants that push cheesy menu items, even as the DoA’s Center for Nutrition Policy and Promotion warns of the health risks associated with a cheese-heavy diet.

This is Dollar Tree not Dollar General. 

Dollar Tree looks like this: 

Their stuff is off-brand but decent quality.  

Here are some things you can buy at the dollar tree for one dollar: 

- any kind of makeup- foundation, eyeshadow, lipstick, lip gloss, mascara, etc

- socks

- Sports bras (sometimes) 

- combs, brushes, hairclips, scrunchies, hair ties, headbands

- clothes hangers, laundry bags, mothballs

- any kind of office supplies or school supplies. Staplers, pencils, posterboard, pencils, pens, etc. 

- party supplies including paper plates and balloons

- all kinds of toiletries- shampoo, conditioner, toothbrush, toothpaste, dental floss, washcloths, deodorant, razors, shaving cream, nailclippers, etc. Decent sizes, too. 

- ceramic/glass plates, bowls, cups

- reading glasses, sunglasses

- plastic buckets

- cleaning supplies, detergent, bleach, laundry syrup, fabric softener, dish soap, sponges. brooms 

- electronics, headphones, night lights, phone chargers, batteries, screen cleaners, phone cases

No problem!

THE PERFECT BAKED POTATO

Roasted Garlic Asiago Potato Salad

Bacon, Potato, and Egg Casserole

Chili Baked Potato with Cheese

Cheesy Loaded Potato Bombs

Mini Potato Skins

Mashed Potato Pancakes with Meat Filling

HOT AND BUTTERY SAMPHIRE POTATO SALAD

Savory Roasted Red Potatoes

potato and red pepper tortilla

SAMOSA POTATO CAKES WITH GREEN CHUTNEY

Fully-Loaded Baked Potato Muffins

SCALLOPED POTATOES

More potatoes here!

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“My cat’s favorite game is tug of war. He wants to be pulled slowly around the apartment for 15-30 min at a time and cries if you drop your end of the toy.”

underwater rhymes and underwater funk

he sleeps in the sea in an underwater bunk

on the basketball court he does a nautical dunk

he’s got a little stash of underwater skunk