bajo y subo, freno y sigo

thinking about how some of dean’s last words to his brother were “let me look at you. yeah, there he is.” like a revelation. two people who spent the first 18 and the last 15 years of their lives together, rarely farther apart than a few inches. seems like a crazy thing to say to someone whose face he knows better than his own. every single little quirk. and yet he says let me look at you like there’s a part of sam he’d never let himself fully see until that moment. like he has to reframe sam’s face in an entirely new context now that he knows it’s about to be over. i need to look at you without the baggage of years. without all the ways we’ve inflicted harm on each other casting shadow across every expression. let me look at you for all the times i couldn’t look. for all the times i was too much of a coward to meet your eyes. let me look at you as my brother. as love of my life. as the only one who ever. allow me this singular moment of flayed-open honesty before it all goes dark. and sam just stands there and lets himself be seen.

since it’s trending rn I’m just going to say this ; supernatural seasons 1-5 is canon. everything else is fanon. specifically chuck’s

the lighting changed. the filming changed. the wardrobe changed. the writing changed. season fifteen is unrecognizable to season 3. it became an off broadway parody production. I’m not saying they weren’t enjoyable to consume (most of the time) but they were almost entirely different entities

the intense relationship and codependency that sam and dean have is for sure a product of their fucked up lives and in particular of the fucked up way they were raised but honestly john is, like, only 50% responsible for it. the other 50% is just THEM. they’re literally soulmates, they found each other even when they were total strangers and they still wanted to drop everything else and be together on the road fighting monsters. they be just Like That.

@dyed-red​: #john watching his kids get weird and codependent: hm. don’t like that.#then sending dean off with caleb and others on hunts#thinking like ‘distance will help.’#dear reader: distance did not help#john watching dean lose his shit when sam goes to stanford#‘i was mad too son but this not-eating not-sleeping thing is uh…’#john getting voicemails in s1 like#‘dean is dying. nvm i took care of it.’#john like ???? i don’t think i want to know#showing up in s14 lebanon like#oh i see. there wasn’t anything i could have done huh.#anyway if you can’t tell one of my fave things is long-suffering john

the "canon isn't real we make our own rules" to "i am begging you people to revisit the source material" pipeline

#you have to know the rules so you can break them with intention and precision#otherwise your work will never be truly transformative

But babe you love being gaslit