Laad Governess

So my view on Arnav's viewpoint is what makes me continue to watch the show without skipping this scene. And I mention that because for a show like Madhubala, no matter how well the first 200 episodes are written - I can never actually watch the scene where Rishab intentionally nearly kills Madhu's father. I have to, kind of, write that scene away.

So intentionality, for me, matters.

And that is what paints this scene for me in a slightly different light for fictional purpose.

is Arnav a sexual harasser with a history of such behaviour?

No, I don't think so. Like you, I do believe this was motivated by anger.

But is Arnav capable of sexual harassment? Absolutely.

Has he? No.

And the reason why I say this is because I believe Shyam is completely capable of sexual harassment because of the continuous insinuation of him to the Guptas that "I was a guy, living the house with two girls, and I chose to not be indecent to them."

He operates from preventing himself from sexually harassing Khushi as (a) need to establish he's a nice person, (b) this is the reward of being truly in love, (c) Khushi is an innocent person who needs gentleness.

And the minute those conditions stop existing for Shyam - the more he harasses. As you can see repeatedly in the show for as long as Shyam had to keep up his need to be a nice person - he apologizes for all the lines he has crossed with Khushi (but he's slipping).

And the minute he no longer needs to maintain that, he gets more lecherous and enjoys Khushi's struggle to get free.

She chose a more violent man, so Shyam gets to be truly who he is.

Obviously, sexual harassers don't just have one type of behavior, but the reason I compare Arnav to Shyam is that for this universe it becomes easier for me to put forth my points.

Arnav is operating from a misogynistic viewpoint. This random girl has no character to begin with. So no snapping of a dori nor having her images floated around as a woman trying to trap a man will hurt her. He finds her attempts at decency a mockery.

He is even amused for half a second that Khushi has a complaint with him for doing so.

The image of this entirely changes around the guesthouse incident - and either way Arnav is very very wrong for thinking character matters if only a person is a good person.

And it's to establish that Arnav has very little moral grounding.

was it purely motivated by rage, and a immediate need to make Khushi shut up, without any element of "I want to see her naked by force if I have to"?

No, I don't think he was interested in undressing Khushi. She accused him of being indecent.

While in his head, it is he is the better person between them.

So, yes, it was rage. From a Watsonian point of view, Arnav exactly knew what kind of a woman this was. A pretty, corporate spy set to sabotage his event.

Also, the fact she pulls up his sister's name and the pained history blinds him in rage - and his anger is something that Anjali warns him about.

It is his weakness.

He uses it to mask his vulnerability. Anger replaces almost any and every sad/hurt/vulnerable emotion Arnav has. Even his confession or care, does not come out with a "hey, I love you, I care for you."

No, it's always accompanied by anger as its shield because I guess that's his perceived sense of safety.

He'd rather be feared than have people see his fears.

I think he's able to feel safe with his emotions and opens up to Khushi is the night he says sorry to her and apologizes for everything he's ever done. After that moment, telling Khushi he loves her or sharing anything emotional/vulnerable, is no longer accompanied by rage.

I think Dadi actually helped him heal in many ways. He gains a new perspective and actually tries being better. His anger permanently reduces because of having dealt with things.

So going back to the dori scene it goes exactly like this:

Khushi - what would you do if someone would insult your sister the way you did mine?

For Arnav, it's not Khushi calling out how horribly he's treating her. It's almost close to I can say the exact things about your sister - and I wouldn't be too wrong.

We can assume that not very pleasant things were told about Anjali when she was abandoned at the altar. That too because her parents committed suicide out of her father's adultery.

It's something the show never, ever, touches on but I definitely think there were comments on Anjali's character.

do you think if his rage at that moment had not been defused by any interruption he would have continued to do something worse to Khushi?

No. Cause I don't think he was intending to sexually assault her.

For Khushi though - yes this is a space where she can sexually assaulted.

So for Arnav, if Khushi's a spy, she has done her homework.

He stops her from leaving her after her piece - and lethally wounding him and triggering trauma.

He humiliates her.

And just physically pushes her away cause she disgusts him and he has no intention of being close to her.

His gaze here - is focused on her. Not her exposed back. And that only shifts when she pushes her hair to cover her back. And he stays rooted to his spot.

He wanted to have his last word - and he did.

Ugh I hate saying this line but 'the hair' will not stop an abuser from wanting to do what he wants to.

Arnav was done speaking/done acting at that point. The character, here, would not go beyond it because he's done with his piece.

Also what's important to note is IPK was written from a problematic POV so I might be stepping into places where I'm putting explanations where it might not even exist, originally.

There's many things about Arnav - even in the next few episodes that show he isn't an assaulter.

However, if there's an episode where fully intended to - and perhaps would've and did - is when Khushi calls him characterless.

See what I don't love about this show is that many a times Arnav's aggression is written as a reaction to Khushi's transgressions and it's always more than what Khushi did in the first place.

And Khushi, here, was WAY out of line. To call a person characterless, question his dead parents' upbringing just because he doesn't want to marry? C'mon *whack* what's wrong with you Khushi?

But Arnav's reaction... there's this glazed look in his eyes that's frightening.

And he, intentionally, presses himself up to her. And it's when he has this Shyam-esque thinking of exactly knowing what being characterless is, but he's not behaving like one but he can. Unlike Shyam, Arnav is not holding himself back to have a nice man image. But Arnav is threatening Khushi that she does not know the gravity of what she's saying because he knows he's not a characterless man (unlike his father) and if she needs a physical understanding of it - here it is.

So yeah, this scene is where it went even darker for me than the dori sequence because what if Khushi continued to challenge? What if Arnav isn't satisfied by the guilt and realization of what Khushi said? (Cause he lets her go when he sees her crying, a little ashamed)

But what if, that wasn't enough?

when Arnav tears down the flowers around the bed on their first marriage night, when he breaks things in his room, when he starts destroying his plants, those are some moments of like, he's in an uncontrollable rage and he needs a physical outlet. That's a pattern, is this action a part of THAT pattern? Or is it a different kind of act?

That scene, I actually interpret differently. Because it was very significant of broken/shattered dreams.

Arnav was very sure loving Khushi means marrying Khushi. This was going to be a reality - the marriage, having a wife, in love, being happy... this was something he didn't believe in but he was starting to believe in it because he was in love.

And that moment it felt like the wedding bed, the rituals were mocking him. He should've trusted his cynicism but he didn't and now his world was in tatters.

So he wanted that pain out. His life wasn't perfect. Forget perfect, it was barely livable.

It's the pain that we saw him collapse after the terrace scene. Mourning the loss of love. The loss of a dream. This tearing the flowers apart is a part of that. It's literally him ripping his own heart into pieces.

Because he's been holding it all in for the sake of his family. And he just cannot hold any longer.

But I think you sum up writing Arnav very well with this statement -his actual worst action/pattern of behaviour in the entire show is treated almost like an abstract concept than a real thing he did.

That is very very true. Arnav is difficult to explain in reality cause certain patterns and behavior does not explain the happily ever after - but hey that's what fiction is for!

So to be completely in Arnav's head and talk about his actions - he suffers from anger management issues and when threatened he chooses lashing out. Sometimes some of the actions and words are beyond his control - sometimes they're not.

The anger is a pattern, the sexual violence is not.

And mostly the anger is when his family/upbringing is talked about:

Mool Rajani mentions Arnav's mother, like not even her specifically but a very Delhi "tu, teri mummy" and gets whacked. I keep on laughing a little that Arnav slapped Mool a second time just because he could - it's not even instinctive unlike the first (lol Akash isn't even surprised, he's just like... I didn't wanna waste a penny on this idiot).

Khushi mentions his sister and given the situation and what he thinks of her, he snaps the dori - interesting to note is when Khushi again brings up family in the guesthouse, Arnav doesn't get angry. Rather he's ashamed because Khushi is bringing up a similar argument like she did in the dori scene, but this time he has better context of her and he does dehumanize her.

Nani talks about Arnav being like his father - Arnav decides to walk out of the house. Arnav's arguments with Nani is often tempered out of age, and that he truly never feels threatened by her.

Anjali pressurizes Arnav to bring Khushi back - he snaps at her that the house isn't hers. And obviously, regrets instantly.

Of course Arnav has been angry many a more times - but in those situations he's intending to hurt as opposed to sudden lash outs. And then intentional anger is someone who affects him, means a lot, threatens him or who he hates.

Khushi, for the longest time, is someone who is literally all of the above for Arnav.

And I think we can hold our peace on the fact that Arnav gets better - not as a result of Khushi - but just as a person he gets better. Otherwise his reaction to knowing his wife doesn't trust him and gets him secretly DNA tested is very very mild, compared to how his anger was written.

Or the HUGE amount of different when Khushi wants to walk out (post kidnapping, during Aarav) - tells us that Arnav has gotten better, psychologically, over time.

So he needed help, and I think he gets it with having most of his abandonment, family issues being sorted out.

We see him reach a point of comfort with himself, his family and relationships. Yes, Khushi was a victim of his healing - but perhaps the bigger gratitude Arnav shows for Khushi is that he wouldn't have wanted to be healed if there wasn't a love this great.

He never thanks her for bearing his anger, he's grateful he met her and knows what love is. It's a subtle difference but it's important cause Arnav's story, for me, is NEVER a 'stick around with your angry husband and he'll come to love you one day' - no, it's just about a love that happens in the most impossible circumstances with the most impossible of people.

Arnav, character wise, remains a LOT like who he is even with Khushi.

He's still non vegetarian, still an atheist, still arrogant - but just more calm because he's less in pain. Like a lion without a constant tear of a nail on his skin - and he's the only person who could've unpinned the nail from himself.

You know it's what Anjali says in the first episode - let go of your past. Holding back to the past made Arnav successful, but also caustic.

Now that his success is permanent, it's time to let go of the past because finally there's something better to look forward to.

And that's love.

Best,

Jalebi

Gosh, this was a LONG LONG LONG answer - I hope you liked it! Tagging all my favs cause this was one really took a lot of time to draft and I hope to hear your thoughts. Phew, haven't thought about this guy in a LONG time.

Fictionally, love him.

Tagging (lemme know if you want to be added)

@chutkiandchotte@dreaming-star@professor-cant-fuck@thedupattaknowswhatsup@bigfatreader@muttonthings@da-ka-ba@fresh-child-bouquet@hand-picked-star