♡♡♡

Sometimes I wish I had never met you. Because then I could go to sleep at night not knowing there was someone like you out there.

If I told you I missed you, would it mean anything to you?

I miss you, And not in a “it’s one in the morning, I’m so lonely, looking through old pictures” kind of way. I miss you, In a “my friends are all laughing, and so am I, but somehow you still haven’t left my mind” kind of way. I miss you, And not in a “someone asked me how you were today and I realized I didn’t know the answer” kind of way. I miss you, In a “nobody has brought you up in months, but I still tell stories about you” kind of way. I miss you, And not in a “it’s Valentine’s Day and I’m alone” kind of way. I miss you, In a “you did well on a test and I want to be the first person you tell” kind of way. I miss you. I don’t just miss the idea of you. I miss you.

They say once you love someone, you will love them forever. There’s always that one person that will forever have a special place in your heart but that scares the fuck out of me. I don’t want you in my heart anymore. I don’t want to live my life wondering how life would be like if we were still together. I don’t want to get sad reminiscing over our past. I don’t want to miss you anymore. I want to be okay. I want to be free. I want to be able to look at you and not feel anything. I want to be able to bump into you and not feel my heart breaking all over again. I just want to be okay again. I want to be able to fully love again without the thought of you always in the back of my mind.

If people can say “lol” without even laughing, surely they can say “I love you” without even loving, so don’t be fooled.