☆ lily

who is ready

oh shit i just realised how much i miss them

refusal to participate due to self consciousness is actually more embarrassing than participating. it took me a very long time to figure that out. abject fear of embarrassment is actually causing you to do things that are more embarrassing than what you fear. you are gonna be embarrassed anyway. let go and be free

it's genuinely so funny how many people have commented on this post being like "you just don't get it bc you're neurotypical" --- my children I have suffered and died at the hands of social anxiety for the better part of my life. why do you think I wrote this post? your "oh that's fine for other people but I'm different and worse" mentality was mine for the longest time. the only way out is through. and not for nothing, anxiety medication helped me a lot

crazy how if you do your chores and obligations first thing on a day off you can enjoy your free time more than if you feel like you’re procrastinating your chores and obligations the whole time. i will not be learning from this experience

i love that phil said he likes that dan is a gay man. i love that phil said dan being gay is a good thing because he got phil. they're in love with each other because they, specifically, are in love with each other, specifically. which is the case for any couple regardless of sexual orientation. but it's the acknowledgment from phil that a fundamental and inextricable part of dan's identity as a person is precisely what gave dan the love of his life, and is something the love of his life loves about him. it's phil encouraging dan to value himself as a man who is able to love phil—another man. and to feel his love in return. it's phil loving dan by loving the part of him that allowed them to love each other. what you used to think was the worst thing about you is the best thing to me. because it was half the whole reason our dream came true.