It Came To Me In A Dream, So Much Like This One

Pop! Pop! Pop! Pop!

Here we go again

Everyone get down on the ground

Say a quick prayer for your family and friends

Hurry, quick! Lock the door!

be as silent as you can

make sure the windows are covered

we don’t want them peeking in

Baby, please, it’s life or death

put your phone on silent

but text your loved ones before it’s too late

I think it’s about to get violent

Hush, hush, I think I hear footsteps

echoing in the hall

I can hear my heart crashing in my chest

I swear I hear my Lord’s final call

One step, two steps, three

there’s a key turning in the lock

I can feel the urine dripping

down my legs and into my socks

The handle’s jiggling violently

as the children muffle screams and sobs saying their final goodbyes and prayers

in slow motion, I hear the door knob

everything erupts and slows at once

because standing tall before me

is a sophomore with a gun

that I once taught in Chemistry

wicked steel wrapped in rage

fortified and forged in hate

what have these souls done to deserve this

I’ll see them at St. Peter’s gate

when will we realize it’s not just the weapons

that cause these brutalities

it’s people not caring about other people

it’s our twisted moralities

if someone had reached out to him

had taught him right from wrong

maybe there wouldn’t be

so many about to be injured

so many about to die, so many already gone

a gun is just a weapon

meant to be used responsibly

but when placed into the wrong hands

can be used destructively

these are the last thoughts

drifting through my head

I’m about to meet my Maker

Lord, take me home, I’m ready

it’s my time, go ahead

This is it, the final number

it’s time to take center stage

copper casings pirouetting through the air

while bloody ballerinas collapse backstage

as the show comes to an end

the room’s been painted crimson red

glass shards and bullets litter the ground

between the bodies of the dying and the dead

I can smell the blood and flesh burning

I can’t move, my chest hurts too much

I’m starting to feel a little woozy

is that my rib that I just touched?

everything is fading out

the room is fuzzy and black

I think I hear Grandma’s voice

Grandma, won’t you come back?

everything’s so dark

I’m so scared and all alone

why does my head feel so light

Grandma, I think I’m coming home

trampling the barren fields

reveling in pestilence and famine

the last days here on Earth she walks

she slithers like the serpent

to charm and divide the masses

who blinded by smoke and desperate illusions

question authority not

who’s the real enemy here

do you hear the trumpets yet

mourning the bloodshed and hatred

mercy is no more

the end inevitably creeping closer

this is your fucking wake up call

are you without flaw

scowling and passing judgment

basking in the strife and misery of others

whose lives you know nothing of

watching as the Earth scorches and crumbles

leaving behind ash and dust

where man will flourish no more

consequences of humanity’s foolishness

what ever happened to benevolence and generosity

what have we become

pissing down and pointing fingers

always looking for a fucking scapegoat

sitting upon the ivory tower

feigning ignorance

for complications not our own

silently observing behind glass screens

while our moralities and integrities decay

I hope nothing but the worst for you.

Always blunt, too upfront, you’re a cunt

May God damn every fucking thing you do.

just for my voice to be heard

I know that it’s no use anymore

everything comes out blurred

what if I wanted to shatter

break apart piece by piece

cutting your fingers on the shards

my blood to be released

what if I wanted to fade

over the edge of this void

let me disappear into nothing

my soul to be destroyed

You didn’t get a chance to see me

in the days where I was young

you probably wouldn’t recognize me

now that the dementia’s sprung

I can’t remember anything

I’m so lost and alone and confused

please take me by the hand

I don’t know what to do

all I can remember

are the blur of days gone past

they melt into one another

they all slip by so fast

my skin used to be so smooth

now it’s wrinkly and got liver spots

who the hell is that in the mirror

why are their eyes so bloodshot

there are moments of clarity

confusion more often than not

I can’t tell what’s real anymore

it’s a terrifying and lonely thought

no one comes to visit me

at least I don’t think they do

I haven’t seen my family

since the start of World War Two

I feel like someone’s watching me

hiding in my room

check under the bed, no, the closet instead

beat them over the head with that broom

why is everyone yelling

it all sounds way too loud

I’m not able to move out of here

there’s way too big of a crowd

I’m so lost and so tired

leave me the hell alone

what have I done to deserve this life

what can I do to atone

when I do not wake tomorrow

and my soul is there never more

do not forget the person I was

the individual I was before

I’ll faintly remember the smiles you gave

so freely from your heart

your loving embrace and gentle touch

while I was falling apart

your words were always so soothing

it showed how much you cared

you were there to hold my hand

whenever I got scared

your laughter rings through my ears

joining with my own

I’m so glad you’re my friend

I don’t have to shoulder this burden alone

the day my Maker calls

and the sands of time stand still

the kiss of Death calling me to peace

this is my Savior’s will

lay my body in a field of flowers

with grasses emerald green

spread my ashes by the river bank

to gaze on wonders left unseen

to Death’s sovereign graces I go

clinging to her I gently weep

I am free from a time spent suffering

now at last my eternal sleep

could you rise

from the filth and squalor

like the maggot you are

and face the truth

crowning the mountain of lies and deceit

you’ve built

worming your way through my subconscious

pushing past the boundary waters

reaching deeper into the pool of clarity

than you know you should

don’t get greedy now

venom drips from your fatal smile

poisoned black from

animosity and anguish

it dribbles down my lips

from your lethal kiss

I can taste the beautiful lies

and glass spun fantasies

crumbling to dust on my tongue

but I know you always reveled

in watching me suffer

laughing as my sanity

bleed through your fingertips

corrupting every fragment of my rationality

slithering inside to infect

what hope and wonder was left

was it intoxicating

observing silently

as misery and agony

dripped into me

tear down the atrophied facade

don’t you fucking bullshit me now

who are you really

underneath the molting flesh

a serpent slipping through

coiling around my throat

shedding layers

just in time to watch me choke

on bitter errors and dead skin

where are the winds blowing you now

the wild meadows on the outskirts

of a sleepy one horse town

or towards

the blaring lights of a sleepless city

where life never stops moving

are you camped out

under the endless night sky

surrounded by the deafening silence

and smell of Mother Earth

breathing her in, tasting her

are you drowning your memories

in the bottom of a bottle

past bar close

in a dimly lit tavern

whiskey burning, smoke drifting

lost in your head

are you watching the sun rise

over the silent plains of uncharted land

feeling the light caress your skin

as it greets you with anticipation

imagining where you’ll go

remembering where you’ve been

dreamer, drifter, rambler

where is your heart leading you now?

racing around

in my head

buzzing like hornets

shaken in a

glass jar

Never stopping

always screaming

why do they

keep coming

Haven’t I suffered

enough

Crawling

Craving

Creeping

Feeding off

the fear

of the unknown

that’s their hold

on me

they come

unbidden

A plague,

a curse,

an infestation,

disease

Is this what

it feels like

slowly losing

a grip on what

is real

losing touch with sanity

With a

head full of hornets

Always moving

squirming

fluttering by

just in case

I ever try

to burn the nest

so she feeds pieces of honesty

like honeysuckle

to every individual she meets

in a dripping sky of pastel sunsets

pinks bleeding into purples and blues

that your skin brushed against mine

and I felt something electric

slam into my naked chest

dragging me further down

and twisting all of what I had ever known

into something clear, true, pure

right

And that is the first time everything

became tangled

in my jungle of feelings for you