鏡花水月

talked to my professors today and they gave me some pep talk. I’m so grateful to be studying at a place where I can actually go up to my professors and be able to talk to them about my insecurities and personal struggles. however, it seems lately like that just won’t do. I feel apathetic towards everything but at the same time stressed and anxious because I’ve got so much to do. sometimes it feels like these are the only three feelings I’ve had for the past couple of weeks. I’ve tried so many things to see if I could get myself excited about my major or life in general but I’m just too deep into my little pathetic hole of self-doubt and frustration. they tell me all the time I need to be less hard on myself, less perfectionist, less demanding, allow myself to make mistakes and learn from them, take a break and do what I like. but there’s just no time to do that! whenever I try to do that, I feel like I’m being unproductive! oh god, what should I do with myself?