kyocat4

The new season of love is blind is killing me. One scene where a participant is doing jumping jacks while someone is sharing emotional stuff. Another one faking tears with eye drops (and the producers not editing it away 💀)

I can’t believe compulsory heterosexuality made me choose between Team Edward and Team Jacob, when I was really Team Alice all along…

I’m every one in this

@crimsoncosmicdust

no i dont want to be a billionaire to live a lavish lifestyle i want to be a billionaire to be financially secure and have enough money to give people things and support charities and fund kickstarters and leave hundred dollar tips

My lavish dream lifestyle: 200% tips at IHOP and throwing struggling artists a couple hundred bucks to sketch my latest asshole OC. I buy my cats better food. I get new underwear twice a year, including a new bra. I have my jeans hemmed, and buy name-brand crackers. Nobody I know ever has to worry about a vet bill again. I quietly bankroll surgery and binders and electrolysis for every struggling trans person on Tumblr. The zoo near me builds a 300% larger reptile house and names it the Wigglesworth Von Snakeface Rept-o-Rama, and I hire a Great Dane ninja to shit on Trump’s Hollywood star every day and post the picture to Facebook and Twitter. Snakes manifest in nazis’ houses. They are made of red-hot chains and never stop screaming. My skin is clear. I sit on my front porch and drink tea. Someone hands me a hamburger.

You can usually tell who never faced any consequences for their actions as a child

My girlfriend sneezed and I accidentally said shut the fuck up instead of saying bless you

i believed in this cat and was not let down

the most obnoxious part of the holiday season is commercials that try to sound like ‘Twas The Night Before Christmas and have a dinky xylophone playing in the background while the narrator tells you in rhyme to buy a Ford