Thatâs your first thought anyway. You watch the world bloom around you in short bursts and think that youâre fucked. You think that thereâs no way that youâre going to be able to live the sort of life you always imagined for yourself. You think that this is all that there will ever be in your world; a decent setting, unsettling exclamations, and so many plot holes that youâve been to a psychiatrist twice to get checked for memory problems. You think your life is going to be inconsistent, sloppy and incomprehensible.
After a year, you notice that there are more people in your life. Your job isnât solely populated by your boss, the secretary and the janitor who killed your best friend five years ago (which you canât remember). Now thereâs a woman named Mary-lee in the cubicle next to yours and a man named Gonzalez who works in a whole other department. Your company only had one department last year. Now itâs got two.
You stop shouting quite so much and you stop feeling the need to smirk every time you see someone making a fool of themselves. Your words are more reasoned now, more natural, and you find your conversations lasting longer with your new coworkers and neighbors. Your city grows, suburbs springing up overnight. The trees start losing their leaves in the fall and itâs not always night time when bad news arrives.
Your eyes arenât orbs anymore, theyâre just eyes.
When you run into your estranged brother in the hall of your apartment building, you wait for the ridiculous explanation for why heâd move in with you. Maybe every other house in the city is full? Maybe he didnât know you lived there? Maybe it just âbe like that sometimes?â
Turns out heâs not moving in. The woman heâs dating lives two doors down and heâs just as surprised as you. Small world.
Yes, itâs a bit contrived. Yes, itâs a little out of the blue. But, you realize, thatâs how stories go. Sometimes theyâre out of the blue. Making the out of the blue seem normal? Thatâs the mark of a true storyteller.
Theyâre getting better, you realize, watching your brother walk away. A lot better.
Theyâve been writing your life everyday. You donât know why you didnât think about that. Of course theyâre getting better. Through plot struggles and unpleasant writerâs block, theyâve stuck with you and your story.
Through everything, every shred of doubt, every shiny new idea, every criticism, theyâve stuck with you. Theyâve worked hard to build your life around you. Theyâve put in the time to get better, to give you better dialogue and a brilliant place to live and an exciting life.
Theyâve grown for you.
Thank the author that you were lucky enough to grow with them.