Nari

not on wattpad!

not on tumblr!

not on ao3!

not even on god damn fanfiction.net.

she was sexually abused as a child by a male authority figure

her childhood best friend killed herself because of their rapist

langdon is a male authority figure who is commiting a crime

langdon is a father. he has access to children

this is a post listing the information that trinity santos is taking in and processing as someone with severe trauma from male authority figures

i am not trinity santos

none of what the points that are listed are my conclusions on the characters. i'm listing factual information that the show gives us

reread the post and note that i never condemn langdon for anything or express a personal opinion on who he is as a person

like come on. she lacks trust towards her colleagues because her dad died from medical neglect and racism, and now she is overly cautious and does her best to prevent any mistakes even if that goal is futile and impossible. she wants to be the perfect doctor and has an HR manual in her head but also can't help it when her feelings take control when she has to treat cases that she feels specifically emotionally connected to. she's kind to students and encourages them to believe in themselves, but when they make a misstep she's quick to correct them, even if that can be blunt. she has the best patient satisfaction scores, but if her plan isn't taken seriously she defends herself and can stay rigid in her standpoint. she's data driven, detail oriented and wants what's best, but has a hard time accepting non conventional ways to treat patients outside of protocol. if she relates to a patient she goes above and beyond, but can't distance herself from them when something out of her control happens. she's dedicated and driven, working till she drops, but her lack of social life and friends has caused her to be closed off and refuse to accept any help. she has a full future plan worked out in great detail but has a literal panic attack when it blows up in her face and she realises she doesn't have a plan b. she can admit her mistakes, but they make her spiral so much that she immediately thinks she doesn't deserve her place in the ED. she wants to do everything she can to help people, but becomes her own obstacle in order to do so.

pairing : rick grimes x reader

warnings : angst, swearing, SLIGHT SPOILERS FOR SEASON 9 AND TWD : TWL ( i changed some stuff lmao) !!!!! mentions of smut, some spicy scenes but no smut this time folks (apologies), reader is basically living Michonne's life you think abt it (but with a slight twist) basically pure sap

word count : 8k

summary : Rick and you got married in the middle of an apocalypse- a unconventional scenario, but Rick didn't care. You were his great love after Lori. When a strenuous situation forces him to blow up a bridge with him on it- everyone believes he is dead. For years you live with that truth. But what happens when you find out he isnt ?

a/n : I've been CRAVING a rick and daryl reunion (amc give them back to me) so this is basically this mixed in with x reader ( also this lowk sucks....)

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, mentions of cannibalism, gore, murder, kidnapping/hostages, whole load of angst w/ fluff, age gap (readers in their early 20s), themes of guilt, paranoia (just the usual rick emotions basically), mentions of other characters (Daryl, Michonne, Glenn etc) , pet names (sweetheart), y/n used, major character death

pairings: rick grimes x gn!reader - s5, ep 3 - 8

word count: 9.2k

songs i listened to while writing: the lakes, illicit affairs, gasoline, knife prty into the void , cigarette duet, this love, Tchaikovsky: swan lake op.20, dagger, nude

a/n: it seems the chapters just keep getting longer and longer each time LOL. I actually finished this so much quicker than i thought but like i said before, i’ll definitely not be as active due to my exams </33 I PROMISE smut is coming I know y'all are sick of me.

moodboard - p1 - p2 - p3

The peace that had been found in the group was gone as soon as it had came. To think you could have one good night in a time like this was a stupid thought anyways.

You stand with your back against one of the frontal pews, arms crossed over to stop yourself from fidgeting as you wait with Michonne, watching over Carl as Rick had intended with baby Judith situated at your hip, just in case anything happened.

At the sound of the door creaking open and footsteps hollowing down the aisle, you turn your head, watching the two siblings and Rick make there way back into the church, Sasha quite obviously making a beeline for the priest. You weren't surprised.

Something wasn’t adding up here. Bob was gone, and so was Daryl and Carol. Since you had came here, you had felt it too… the feeling of being watched. At first, you thought it was paranoia, something your head wast tricking you into believing, not wanting to believe that you were safe here. But, you were right, and there was only one person you could figure to blame for it.

Nothing however could’ve prepared you for what he was about to admit.

You watch in disbelief as he collapses against the alter, deservedly beginning to sob at the admission of the horrendous act that he had committed, the one that had dammed him to hell in the same place he had once provided sanctuary. He had turned his people away, left them to be torn apart at the hands of the walkers, left women and children to die out there. It was nauseating.

‘Jesus christ.’

You can’t help but mutter, the irony of it not coming to your attention as you turn away, holding Judith closer to you as you refrain from lashing out at the man. From the moment you had seen him on that rock, you knew there was something off about him. And this had just proved it.

‘Theres someone outside lying in the grass.’

The alarmed tone that Glenn carries and the infamous whistling you had heard from the terminants, the sound that had drove you to brink of insanity has you turning again, looking around to the others in the group with a sense of fear before moving to check it out.

You lean down at haste, carefully passing the still sleeping Judith into Carl’s arms and telling the boy ‘to stay right here’ in a hush before reaching for your blade and following behind Rick, consequences be dammed.

‘Jesus christ!’

You repeat again, this time a lot more seriously as you take in the sight before you, seeing Bob layed out on the floor with his leg now amputated and sasha wailing for her partner, immediately rushing down to the floor to check he was alive.

Slaying a walker that was making its way towards the group, you catch sight of whats now smeared upon the church’s walls, a large and bloody ‘A’ signifying the return of the terminants, leading you to stumble back slightly at the meaning of the letter.

They’d came back, they’d done this to Bob. You knew that if there was anybody they were going to kill here first, it was most definitely you.

‘get inside!- go!’

Rick shouts from besides you, cocking his gun up and shooting to whoever was hidden within the woods, grabbing you as you stumbled and pulling you back into the church, helping Abraham securely look the doors to make sure that they wouldn’t be getting in anytime soon.

Your breaths quicken from the realisation of what was happening, backing away from the door as rapidly as you could, retreating down the aisle of the church as you stare at the door before you. This couldn’t be happening. You’d fought so hard to get away from them, and now they were back, evidently so with Bob whimpering behind you.

The mention of Gareth’s name from Bob, now awake had you turning on your heel, catching Rick’s eyes as you did and walking over slowly as Bob continued to recount the events.

‘He’s in pain, do we have anything?’

Sasha looks back urgently, moving Bob back to the floor, not wanting him to move anymore than he had too. What the terminants had done to him was terrifying, but they were going to return, and when they did, you were sure they were planning so much worse.

‘Theres pill packets in the back- i’ll go.’

You respond promptly, needing to do anything to put your mind off of the situation, even if it was going into the back to grab some pain killers. Your hands were still shaking as you returned your gun to its holster, turning away from the group as you moved towards the back of the church.

But as Bob pulls down his shirt, revealing a rather nasty bite into his shoulder, you stop, looking back at the group as you stood further away, seeing that the medication was in-fact no longer needed. He was going to die anyway. He’d been bit.

‘Jim lasted almost two days, before we left him.’

Glenn joins the conversation, hushed in the circle as you begin to speak about what exactly you were all going to do about Bob. You knew Sasha wasn't going to let him go, at least not yet. But, it was inhumane to draw it out and let him turn into one of them. Something had to be done.

Before you can speak on the matter, Abraham cuts in, just as he always seems to do.

‘Time for a reality check.’

His voice rings out into the silence, leading you and the rest to turn to him, a small brow lifted as you do, especially with how he was stood to attention in the middle of the aisle, a rifle situated on his front.

‘We all need to leave for DC. Right now.’

‘Daryl and Carol are gonna be back. We’re not going anywhere without them.’

Rick responds, a little unsure before beginning to walk towards the man as you all begin to watch Rosita pack her things, walking towards her partner, readying herself for whatever was to come their way.

‘I respect that, but there's a clear threat here to Eugene. I need to extract his ass before things get any uglier. So if y'all won't come, good luck to ya’.’

‘Are you serious?’

You retaliate, cocking your head towards the man as he speaks before letting out a small scoff and turning away. This was unbelievable. The terminants were coming, and with that you needed him and Rosita to stay, needed all the people you could get to make sure that everybody had a chance of surviving this. After the speech he had given last night, you’d think he’d be the most likely to see that. No, all Abraham cared about was getting Eugene to DC. It was selfish.

‘Serious as can be sweetheart, we’re leavin’.’

On that note, he diverts, making his way towards the door of the church alongside Rosita who would always follow after him, no matter the cause.

‘You leavin’ on foot?’

Rick questions, anger rising as he watches Abraham strut down the aisle, the frustration clear in the way his teeth clench after he speaks, glaring ahead at the back of Abraham.

‘We fixed that damn bus ourselves.’

Abraham matches his tone, his anger also rising as he turns to meet you and the group again, holding the rifle in his hands tighter at his chest, doing nothing but glaring right back at the man as he strides forward.

‘There are a lot more of us.’

‘You wanna keep it that way? You should come.’

He fights back, definitely not one to back down from a fight, especially when it came to Eugene and the matter of DC. But neither was Rick.

‘Carol, saved your life. we saved your life.’

‘Well I am trying to save yours. save everyones!’

His voice rising makes you flinch, looking between the two men with a mix of fear and frustration as they begin to fight. You didn’t need this. You all needed to stick together. This wasn't the way.

‘We’re not going anywhere without our people.’

‘Your people took off.’

‘They’re coming back.’

‘To what? Picked-over bones?!’

Abrahams voice raises again, making you step forward to try and stop what you knew would turn into something a whole lot worse.

But Rick lashes out first, reaching to grab the rifle that Abraham held to try and show some of the authority he had left as leader. But Abraham wasn't having it.

‘Do not lay hands!’

He shouts again, leaving you to stride over quicker, trying to take Rick’s hand to move him away but he shrugs you off, not even turning to see who had tried to stop him. He knew it had to be you, but he wasn’t going to let Abraham walk out of that door, not tonight, not when you all needed him.

‘Hey. Hey. Stop! Now!’

Glenn steps in for you, breaking the two men up, looking between them both before stepping closer to Abraham, knowing if he had to get through to one of them right now, it was him.

‘Do you really think you're gonna be any safer leaving right now, in the middle of the night?’

He asks, staring up at the man who's breaths quicken with the anger he's feeling, still glaring right at Rick who does the same, the two men still seething with the events that had just played out.

‘Yeah.’

He responds instantly, turning his head down towards Glenn and nodding to himself, a little shaky in his movements as he grips his rifle precariously, looking from Glenn to Rick before nodding again and repeating his words more definitively.

‘What about tomorrow? We need eachother for this. We need each other to get to DC.’

Glenn begins to plead, stepping closer to the man as he steps away, looking towards his partner before back at Glenn, weighing up the options he had been given in his head.

‘I have an idea.’

Tara steps forward, looking from you and Rick to Abraham and Glenn, a little shy but meaning what she has to say.

‘If you stay just one more day and help, I'll go with you to DC. No matter what. Okay?’

She looks back, meeting your eyes to which you nod, thanking her quietly for her help. But Abraham has to ruin it.

‘Glenn and Maggie too.’

Rick is quick to respond, immediately shutting Abraham down to nobody's surprise and making you sigh, turning away from him and walking down the aisle to lean against one of the pews. returning to where you had been before, letting them figure it out for themselves.

‘Eugene, let’s go.’

Abraham calls out, lifting your head up from where you stood to the man who sat across from you, looking rather depressed for somebody who was about to save the world.

‘Eugene. Move it.’

‘I don’t want to.’

‘Now.’

He doesn’t put up an argument, stepping up from his seat in the row and moving towards Abraham, stepping past Rick and Glenn as he does so, head hung low to say that even he didn’t want this to be going down the way that it was.

‘You’re not taking the bus.’

Rick’s voice is rougher now, lifting his head again as Abraham turns, the two men going back to this glaring competition they had going.

‘Try to stop me.’

‘Rick-’

You call out quietly as you watch him walk towards Abraham, knowing exactly what was about to happen and lifting yourself from your place amongst the pews, Glenn stopping the two men before you could and moving them apart.

‘You stay… You stay and help us, and we will go with you.’

He declares, nodding his head towards his wife who stood at the front of the church.

With that, Abraham finds it in him to agree to half a day. It's not what you had wanted, sure, but it was something. Something that would hopefully mean that you could all now survive the night, especially with the threat that was looming within them woods.

You fidget subconsciously as Rick talks of the plan you were going to act out tonight. It's a surprise that your shirt hasn't given way by now with the amount of picking you had been doing at its threads, pulling the thread round your fingers until it snapped under the pressure.

Feeling eyes on you, you look up, noticing how everybody was feeling the same nervousness you were beginning to feel at the fact you were going to have to fight these vicious people once again.

‘You up for this?’

Rick asks, voice a little softer as he notices your uneasiness the most, stepping forward carefully so that all you can see is him.

You nod softly, meeting his eyes as you do before looking to everybody else and taking a gentle gulp before you speak.

‘If they’re after anybody here they want the most, it’s me.’

You begin, voicing what everybody was thinking, even Rick. They had wanted to kill you before, so what was stopping them from doing it now? You didn’t know exactly why they’d kept you alive for so long, maybe it was for fun, locking somebody who had already been through hell into a stingy container, driving them to the brink of insanity before eating them for whatever they could give. But you’d cut their game short and escaped. You guessed they wouldn’t exactly be pleased with that.

‘So we kill them first.’

Rick replies after a moments silence, staring down at you with the upmost seriousness, taking his hand and caressing the side of your face for a short moment before letting it drop and turning back to the group, his hand now rested in your own instead.

‘We’ll kill them first.’

‘Well, I guess you know we’re here.’

The sound of Gareth’s voice makes you shudder, the familiarity of it having you grip your gun tighter at your side, standing beside Rick and nodding softly as he looks back at you, checking you were still okay to go through with this.

‘And we know, you’re here… And we’re armed. So, there's really no point in hiding anymore.’

You hear his voice drill on from inside the church. Hearing him speak your name after a moment, how he knew you were there makes your stomach churn, holding your pistol impossibly tighter as you wait for Rick’s signal to move in.

‘We’ll hit the hinges.’

Gabriel grunts towards one of his men, all stood before the door that Carl and Judith were behind, ready to blow it open. But not for long.

Rick fires first, taking out the two men who stood at either side of the door with ease as you stand by Michonne in the darkness, staying as quiet as you possibly could as Rick emerges from the shadows and responds to Gabriel’s plea.

‘Put your guns on the floor and kneel.’

He demands, gun held up to the only man left standing as Gareth whimpers, holding what was left of his fingers as he does as Rick says, telling his men to do the same. He watches mercifully as you and the others come into view, holding your own gun up to his face alongside Rick and Sasha.

‘No point in begging, right?’

Gareth manages to stutter out, lifting his head up to Rick as he kneels at the mans mercy, the plan he had now in pieces as he held his now three fingers in his other hand.

‘No.’

Rick replies, voice remaining steady as he looks down at the man who had imprisoned you, the all mighty leader of Terminus who had tried to kill him and everyone he loved, now knelt before him so goddamn cowardly.

‘Still, you could’ve killed us when you came in. There had to be a reason for that.’

He tries to reason, shaking with fear as he looks up at Rick, doing exactly what he claimed he had no point in doing. Begging.

‘We didn’t wanna waste the bullets.’

Your eyes meet Ricks for a split second, gun aimed at right at Gareth’s head in the same way that Sasha held hers from behind as he spoke. It took everything you had in you to not shoot him right in this very moment. After everything he and his people had done to you, it wasn’t like he didn’t deserve it. But Rick was going to make sure this dragged out. For all your sakes.

‘We used to help people. We saved people. We- we saved y/n!’

His head spins round, just for a second, bringing you into the conversation as a last resort, meeting your hardened gaze before returning back to Rick. The way he tries to justify what he had done makes you feel sick. He hadn’t saved you, far from it. Gabriel was going to say anything to get him out of this, you knew that, and so did Rick.

‘Things changed. They came in and…’

The pain of his blown-off fingers leads him to stop, doubling over in pain as he lets out a whimper, trying to catch his breath before returning to meet Rick’s cold gaze.

‘After that…’

He shrugs, becoming jittery as he tries to get himself out of this situation, trying to find a way to make Rick level with him, even if it was through you.

‘We let y/n live for a reason. Let you all live for a reason. You don’t have to do this, we can walk away.’

Rick scoffs at that, a weak smile making its way onto his face as he turns his head away from the man before him, meeting your own bitter expression from the words that Gareth spoke and hating the way that this man was making you feel. He had to end it.

‘And we’ll never cross paths again… I promise you.’

‘But you’ll cross somebody else's path.’

Rick finally speaks, looking away from yourself and tilting his head back down to Gareth, not an ounce of sorrow on his face, even as he whimpered. This man didn't deserve any amount of mercy, none whatsoever.

‘You’d do this to anyone, right?’

His face contorts as he lifts his gun, just for a moment, leading Gareth to meet his stony look, aimed right at the leader before returning it back to his side.

‘Besides, I already made you a promise.’

With that, he takes the Machete situated at his hip and swings it into the side of Gareth’s neck, killing the man in an instant and creating a spray of blood to squirt out of his neck, covering you and Rick completely as he swings again and again and again.

Coming out from one of the pews, a woman emerges, having believed she had escaped the massacre that was happening around her until she saw your face.

You reach for your weapon, discarding the gun that was held in your hands and grabbing the trusty dagger instead, taking the woman that you recognised from your time at terminus and dragging her into the aisle by her hair, gripping the strands tighter as she screams.

You settle atop of her quickly, holding her down with your weight and against the church’s musty carpet before taking your knife and stabbing it right into the centre of her chest, watching viciously as she lifts her body in a fraction, letting out a gasp of air at the pain.

But you go again, taking the blade out and pushing it through her throat this time, the sickening crack of bone and muscle heard as you drag the blade through her skin. pushing it further and further up her throat until she stills.

But even then, you don’t stop.

You remember the days you had spent out in the forests alone. The day you had came to Terminus and believed you had finally found sanctuary. The days you spent locked away in that container. The days where you had to kill to survive.

As the thoughts raced through your head, you continued to stab, over and over again into the unmoving body of the woman, paying no mind to the blood that was now slick on your skin, covering the most part of your hands and face as you stabbed, and stabbed, and stabbed.

You let out a ragged breath when you finally drop the knife, letting it clunk against the aisle floor and besides the unrecognisable face of the woman you had just murdered, letting your breaths return to their natural pace as you lift your head, meeting Rick’s also bloodied, murderous face.

This was no longer the officer friendly you had met at the Alabama camp… and you were no longer the same old poet who spent their days daydreaming about him by the lake. The apocalypse had shaped you both into what you both happened to be now… murderers.

‘It could’ve been us.’

Rick murmurs, looking around to the others in the group who were slowly realising what they had done and witnessed, the guilt beginning to creep up on them.

‘But it wasn’t.’

You speak, taking your knife and placing it back to where it was held at your hip and moving off of the woman, wiping your face with the front of your shirt before meeting the eyes of those around you and following after Rick.

---

‘Rick.’

Bob calls weakly, making Rick turn to meet the bed-ridden man and sigh, turning back to yourself and Carl with a soft smile.

‘i’ll take her.’

You whisper, before Bob cuts you short, his thinning smile coming upon his face as he speaks.

‘As much as I like seeing y/n hold her, let her stay. I trust her.’

The smile that was already situated on your face grows at his teasing, rolling your eyes half-heartedly before letting Rick step forward and leaving the room alongside Carl and Sasha, leaving the two men and Judith to talk amongst themselves in his final moments.

You stand to the side as Abraham and the others get ready to leave, Judith now sat contently at your hip as you watch over carl, stood nearest to the bus whilst Abraham and Rick talk about the plans of the trip.

‘This group should be there for it. You should be there for it.’

Abraham continues, trying his best to convince Rick and the others to join them on the trip to DC, a contrast to the man who wanted to leave without you guys the previous night.

‘We will.’

You speak up after Maggie, lifting Judith up softly as she coos against you, looking down at Carl and returning the gentle grin that sits on the young boys face before looking back at the others in the group.

Watching as they all gather onto the bus, you step forward, stopping Glenn and Maggie for a second and looking between the couple.

‘Be safe.’

Glenn smiles tenderly at the words you speak, realising that maybe you had softened up to him from the conversation he had had with you a few days prior, feeling quite happy with himself that he had.

‘We will, keep this one safe aswell.’

He responds, tilting his head towards Judith at your hip before giving you a light hug and heading onto the bus with Maggie.

You hadn’t exactly had many friends, even before the apocalypse… but maybe Glenn could be a friend.

But even with the others heading off to DC, it seemed that your group could never catch a break.

You’d been awoken in the middle of the night, groaning lightly and moving closer to Rick who had also been forced awake, the both of you looking up at whoever had decided to wake you up this early in the morning. They must’ve had good reason, or at least you hoped that they had.

‘You’ve gotta see this…’

Michonne’s voice rings out in the silence of the church, making sure to keep her voice low, not wanting to wake anybody else except you and Rick. The look on her face leads Rick to sit up knowing that whatever had happened must’ve been serious as he makes his way into the centre of the church alongside Michonne, you following closely behind, reaching for your knife instinctively.

Daryl emerges from the shadows, a little confused at the sight of beaten, lifeless bodies strewn across the surroundings of the church but still, stepping closer, another beginning to emerge from behind him. At the unfamiliar face, you and Rick to both take out your weapons and point them at the boy.

Michonne shakes her head, eyes falling onto you and Rick before Daryl speaks, his voice weak and scratchy as he talks.

‘t’s alright, he's with me.’

‘Where's Carol?’

Rick asks, paying no mind to Daryl’s words as he continues to point his gun at the younger boy besides him, inching closer. You’d dealt with enough problems in the days prior, and if somebody didn’t explain what was happening, there’d be another dead body in the aisle.

The look on both of the mens face ahead of you says everything you need to know, slowly but surely putting down your knife, keeping it by your side just in case and moving closer, watching as Daryl looks down at the floor, clearly upset at the mention of his friend. Something had happened, you were sure of that. But it was far too late to talk about it now, he needed rest, they both did.

‘C’mon… we’ll talk in the morning.’

You murmur, reaching to take Daryl’s hand, but he moves back, lifting his head back up to meet your own before returning back to Rick’s hardened gaze.

‘We’ve gotta problem.’

For the entirety of the following morning, you spent your time going over what seemed to be another plan, arming the church with what little materials it had and deciding how you would get Beth and Carol back from this newly emerged Grady group.

The ride into the city hadn’t been as difficult as you had fought it to be, now settled in a desolate building on the outskirts, going over the plan for a final time as you stood in-between Daryl and Sasha, watching as Rick crouched on the floor, pointing to the map he had drawn out as he spoke.

‘At sundown we fire a shot into the air. Get two of them out on patrol. Then once it’s dark enough that the rooftop spotter won’t see us, we go.’

You scantly shift as he talks, your hand rested lightly upon your elbow as you look between the others in the group, catching Tyreese’s watchful eye for a second before looking back at Rick.

‘We cut the locks on one of the stairways, take it to the fifth floor. I open the door, Daryl takes the guard out.’

‘How?’

‘He slits his throat.’

Rick lifts his head, meeting Tyreese’s gaze that had once been watching you and responding to the question asked as if it wasn’t already the obvious. But not everybody in this group was a killer, especially not Tyreese.

‘This is all about us doing this quiet, keeping the upper hand.’

He tries to reason, looking to the others in the group and letting his eyes linger on you for a moment longer, checking to make sure you were still okay with this before carrying on.

‘They’re not expecting us.’

With that, he continues to go through the plan to which you listen intently, rubbing the dry patch of skin on your elbow subconsciously, a little nervous on how this plan you had formed would play out. You could only pray it would run as smoothly as the terminants had, but you had a feeling that it wasn’t going to this time. You’d had more than enough luck these past few days, it wasn’t going to last for much longer.

‘Tyreese, Sasha, take them. Daryl and y/n, you take care of whoever's in the kitchen. I got dawn.’

He finishes by drawing another cross on the map, showing you exactly what rooms they would be entering and when, making sure that you all knew exactly what to do.

‘If they’re smart, the rest of them will give up. Then it's six on three. Seven on three once we get a weapon to Beth.’

‘Twelve on three, the wards will help.’

Noah speaks up, lifting his head to meet Rick’s eye before turning to the rest of the group, assuring that you all had the upper hand in this situation like Rick had previously stated.

‘Best case scenario, this goes exactly as we’ve planned it, right? What about worst case?’

You can't help but ask what everybody's already thinking, turning your eyes away from Noah and to the rest of the group, eventually looking down at Rick, hoping that he had the answers you also so desperately needed.

‘All it takes is one of them cops going down the hall at he wrong time and well, we’re fucked.’

‘Lot of bullets flyin’ around.’

Tyreese adds, looking from yourself and back to the rest of the group, an uneasy feeling beginning to accumulate at the thought of this plan going sideways.

‘If that's what it takes…’

‘Its not. If we get a couple of her cops, alive, out here, we do an even trade. Theirs for ours. Everybody goes home.’

The plan Tyreese had began to formulate honestly didn’t sound that bad. But people always get hurt in a world like this, that was just the honest truth. It was hard to accept, but it was true.

‘That might work… but people are always gonna get hurt, no matter what way we go.’

You respond before Rick can, shifting again on your feet as the others return to look at you, biting your lip as you think of what plan to go through with.

‘You say this Dawn, she's jus’ tryna keep it together, right?’

Daryl asks, nodding his head towards Noah as he questions, earning a nod from the boy.

‘Trying and doing are two different things.’

‘You take two of her cops away, what choices does she have?’

You think into what Daryls saying realising that he did in fact have a point. If you took two of the cops, she’d have no choice but to return Beth and Carol with the state that the hospital was in. It just made sense.

‘Everybody goes home. Like he says.’

With all eyes falling back on Tyreese, it seems that his plan is the one you're going to be going through with after all. But maybe that was the wrong decision.

Rick’s whistle leads the two cops to turn around, met with your group, outnumbered with the five guns now held up at their faces.

‘What do you want?’

The female officer asks first as you inch forward, holding your gun tighter in its grasp as you look between her and her partner before back at Noah, eyes staring straight ahead at your targets.

‘Whatever this is, we can help.’

The male officer speaks up this time, voice a little shakier than the authorial tone he held against Noah before, looking between Daryl and Rick as you, Sasha and Tyreese move closer from behind.

‘You do what we say, we don't hurt you.’

Weighing up their options, the male officer gives in first, putting up his hands compliantly and turning his gun to the sky as he obliges Rick’s command, looking towards his partner who begins to retract her weapon in the same way.

‘Good. Now turn around. Put your guns on the floor, and kneel.’

Rick’s voice breaks through the silence as he strides forward, gun held up to the two, showing his authority as they do what he says, leading Daryl and yourself to cover the man and move to the front of the officers as they turn and kneel, pointing your gun at the female.

With their submission, you search the woman from behind, placing your gun back in its holster as you take her ammunition and weapons, finding the zip ties they had used on Noah and passing one to Daryl before tying the woman's hands behind her back.

‘Get up.’

You grunt as you take her tied hands in your own, leading her to grunt in response at the plastic that was now tightened at her wrist bone, following your orders and standing, doing just as you had asked. Six against two didn't seem like a good call to make.

‘Can I ask you something?’

The male proceeds with caution as Daryl drags him up, turning his head back to Rick who he had guessed to be the leader of your group, making him walk over and meet the mans gaze with his own bitter expression.

‘The way you talk… The way you carry yourself… Were you a cop?’

He asks, even in a situation like this, earning a small scoff from yourself to which he glances your way at the sound before looking back at Rick, hoping for his question to be answered. But the look on Rick’s face is all he needs to know that his assumption was correct.

‘Believe it or not, I was too.’

On account of Rick turning his head away, Noah begins to talk, his head tilting towards Rick as he speaks.

‘That's Lamson. He’ll be down for this. He’s one of the good ones.’

‘Shit!’

You shriek as a car comes into view, its tyres squeak deafening as it makes a beeline to the group, trying to grab the female officer you had captured as you begin to shoot but failing as she slips away. The gunfire from the people within the car leads Tyreese to grab you, pulling you behind the bin that him and Sasha had fallen behind, peeking your head out as you shoot back at the officers in the car that were taking your hostages.

As they quickly get into the back and begin to drive away, you move out from your cover and let out a round of shots at the retrieving vehicle, aiming for the tyres as you do but they end up turning the corner before you can continue.

Without thinking, you chase after the car, gun still held at your side as you sprint down the alley. That is of course until you see the metal box, stood to attention in the middle of the lot, surrounded by melted down walkers, flies buzzing around the corpses as they crawl across the almost liquefied tarmac.

The sight is downright disgusting, but you continue to move alongside Rick, gun held up as the group makes their way across what was once a parking lot. The sound of the cars door opening and the officers from earlier racing has you returning to your sprint, following after your captives as they try and make a run for it.

But the growing sound of walkers with no sight of Daryl has you and Rick turning back, leaving Sasha and Tyreese to grab the other two officers as you go to find the other man.

Rick gets there first, taking out one of the walkers with ease and cocking his gun to another officer as he steps aside, putting his hands up in mercy as Daryl tells him not to shoot. But you don.t hear, bashing your gun into the side of the other officers skull and knocking him clean out on the floor, earning a disapproving look from the two men between you. Taking a deep breath, You shrug, seeing no problem in what you had just proceeded to do and instead, pointing down at the unconscious man between the three of you.

‘Threes better than two, right?’

‘Your friend, what's his name?’

You ignore the woman you now knew as Shepherd as she talks, just in the way that Daryl does, the two of you walking ahead as you make your way through the building you had settled within earlier on.

‘I need to talk to him. Your plans are going go get me and my friends killed.’

‘Tough shit, we’re not telling.’

You gruff in response, gripping your gun tighter once again and hoping what you had said would shut the woman up. The plan was already going wayward, there was no way you were changing it now.

‘We aren't the right cops you want to trade with.’

You turn at that, along with Daryl, Tyreese and Sasha, locking eyes with the woman immediately and seeing that she was in-fact being serious, the look of desperation strewn across her face making that clear.

‘Dawns running Grady into the ground. A bunch of us want her out and she knows it. Pretty sure she knows we want Lamson to replace her too.‘

‘Dawn dosen’t know that.’

‘She might. And shes smart. So theres a good chance you can’t make this deal work and that’ll leave us all dead. But if you let us go, We’ll take care of Dawn ourselves, and we’ll let your friends go and this, is over.’

You step forward, about to make a comment until the other officer who had been awfully quiet cuts in before you, his eyes staring straight ahead, not looking to his friends for help or your group as he verbailses his own opinion.

‘No, we’re not gonna do that.’

‘Do you want to die?’

‘No… I just need you to shut up right now.’

You shift under your feet, you all do as you wait for the man to continue.

‘You can make this work. But you got to be able to talk to her.’

He lifts his head up at that, meeting Daryl’s gaze as he does and leading Sasha to make her response, rifle held possessively to her chest.

‘Noah told us all about her.’

‘Ive known her for eight years, ma'am. I know this woman. And my only interest is peaceful resolution, not dying, and sleeping in my bed tonight.’

You sigh as he turns to you now, pinching the bridge of your nose and weigh up the little options you and the group had left. It was either you go in there, guns a blazing and take back Carol and Beth or, you do this the smart way, the way the officer was recommending and the way that would hopefully result in much less casualties.

‘Please, let me help you. Please.’

You stand closely behind Rick as him and the officer talk, watching with your gun at the ready, situated in its holster, just in case.

‘She’ll tell you she won’t make a deal. She’ll tell you she won’t compromise. But she will. She always does.’

‘How can you be so sure?’

You ask, staring down at Lamson now tied to the pole behind him, having him look up and meet your blank stare before responding.

‘I know she will. Just…just know who you’re talking to.’

You turn at that, looking towards Sasha and Tyreese who had only just made their way back in tp the building and then over at Daryl and the other officers, making sure that everything was still going smoothly.

‘Probably headin’ out in the next 10 minutes or so. Anythin’ you need before we leave?’

Rick asks the man as he crouches before him, still making it known that he was in charge as he maintains eye contact but a little softer with his tone of voice as as he slowly begins to trust the officer.

‘Actually, a little water would be great.’

‘I’ll get it.’

You grunt from behind, making your way over to Sasha in a few strides and taking a bottle from the woman.

Upon Rick’s leave, you crouch down to Lamson as he looks towards you, meeting your stare and thanking you for the bottle. But you don’t let him take it just yet, moving the bottle away before he can grasp it and speaking, voice hushed over so that nobody else would be able to hear.

‘Rick might trust you, but I don’t. So, I’m only gonna say this once.’

You begin, inching a little closer to the man as an act of silent intimidation.

‘You try anything and I mean anything, you’re dead.’

Watching him flinch at the words you speak, you shove the bottle into his chest, picking yourself back up from the floor and walking away.

But he just didn't listen. and rest assured, he was dead.

‘He wouldn’t stop.’

Rick begins, looking between you and Daryl as he makes his way back into the building, a few feet away from the other officers and the rest of the group as the three of you begin to speak quietly on what had happened to Lamson.

‘I did warn him.’

You mutter, cocking your head back to the other officers before looking back at Rick and Daryl, shrugging softly. Daryl watches closely at your nonchalance to the man’s death, realising just as Rick had that you definitely weren’t the same person they had left behind at the farm. You were fiercer now, still reserved but stronger. He supposed that was what surviving alone would do to you.

‘This change things?’

Daryl asks, face twitching as he asks, a common thing with him for him to do, earning a sigh fro yourself at how terrible the plan was going.

‘It has to.’

You shift on your feet the same way that Daryl does, looking back to the two officers now tied up to the chair in the same way that Rick does before Daryl pulls you both back into conversation.

‘Maybe not.’

Your eyebrows furrow, so does Ricks, a little confused on what Daryl was getting at here.

‘She said the plan wont work. The guy who did is dead. Maybe we gotta rethink this.’

‘They also said the cop in charge didn't have no love for him. Maybe you did her a favour.’

‘He’s right.’

You agree, keeping your voice low so only the two men between you could hear, looking from Daryl to Rick as you try and work out what to do next.

‘I don’t know if they’ll play ball.’

‘Let’s find out.’

With that, you move out, turning to the officers at the back of you and walking alongside Rick before stopping and letting the female officer you now knew to be Amanda Shepherd talk.

‘He was a good man. He was attacked by rotters. Saw it go down.’

‘You’re a good liar, huh?.’

You quip, cocking your head towards the woman, having her look away from Rick and towards you with a slight scoff.

‘We’re hanging by a thread here. He was attacked by rotters. Thats the story.’

‘You said the trade was a bad idea. What changed?’

“Lamson was our shot. So it’s this, or you go in guns blazing, right? You don’t want that.’

You turn your head away at that, knowing the woman was right before setting your eyes back on her face, letting Daryl take the floor.

‘If this is sum bullshit your spinnin’, things go south-‘

‘I know! I know the good ones from the bad. Let us help you.’

‘Funny, cause Lamson said the exact same thing and he was supposed to be a good one, right?’

You respond, not being able to help yourself. You didn’t trust this woman, not for one second. The last time you didn’t trust somebody, you had pretty good reason for it, that was clear now. So, she was either genuinely going to help you or, she was lying through her damn teeth.

It wasn’t like you had a choice on believing her anyway.

‘What about you?’

Rick finally speaks, lifting his hand in short gesture, pointing to the other officer besides Amanda and striding over, standing opposite him now.

‘You wanna live? How much?’

You take note of how he doesn't respond straight the way, turning your head to Daryl, the both of you weighing up the man before he doubtfully breaks the silence on Amanda’s accord.

‘Dawns afraid she’ll look weak in-front of us… Thinks it'll tip things against her. Hell, it will. She’ll see this trade as a rip off if she thinks you took out one of our guys. So, its a good thing Lamson got aced by rotters.’

With that, Rick turns away, looking back at you and Daryl for conformation to which you both nod. The plan was on.

It wasn’t long until you were all inside Grady, following closely behind Rick as he led the way, keeping your hostages at arms length as you walked the halls of the silent hospital.

The plan was going as great as it could be, but you still carried that bad feeling about it, leading you to be a little fidgety in the way you turned at any noise you heard, catching Daryl’s attention and leading him to lean into you as you walked.

‘We’ll get ‘em back, no matter the cost.’

His words of quiet reassurance have you nodding in response, biting the insides of your cheek and meeting the man’s sullen gaze before coming to a stop at the end of the corridor.

The voice of what you had guessed to be this dawn woman cracks through one of the officers radios.

‘Holster your weapons.’

She requests and Rick asks you all to do the same, hesitantly placing your piece back in its holster at your hip and looking to the man you loved one last time before stepping through the double doors.

‘They haven't been harmed.’

Rick calls out first as the two other officers you had came into contact earlier stand with the woman, your captives however still at your side, ready to make the trade.

‘Where's Lamson?’

She asks the inevitable, earning Shepherd and Licari, your own hostages to reply just in the way that you had planned for them to do so.

‘Rotters got him.’

‘We saw it go down.’

‘I'm sorry to hear that. He was one of the good guys.’

Dawn speaks once again, clearly upset with the news that she had been given as her eyes begin to well with tears, noticeable even from the metres away that you stood. You just hoped that these emotions she suddenly felt wouldn't get the better of her.

‘One of yours for one of mine.’

Her voice is steadier now, ready to go through with the trade like you had proposed and leading you take a sigh of relief at her acceptance. Maybe this wouldn’t turn bad after all.

‘Move.’

Daryl gruffs, leading Licari into the middle of the hallway as Carol is rolled forward by one of the remaining officers in Dawn’s team, passing her to Daryl and back to the safety of your group. Now all you needed to do was get Beth back.

‘C’mon.’

You tut, leading Shepherd back to her group as Dawn moves Beth forward, meeting the younger girls eyes as Dawn lets go, giving her a softened smile as you take her hand, thankful she was okay and leading her back to the salvation your group had for her.

‘Glad we could work things out.’

‘Yeah.’

Rick grumbles, looking back at Dawn for a moment, wanting to leave this place as soon as possible and get back to the church now that you had Carol and Beth.

However, her asking for Noah leads you all to stop in your steps, Rick turning back first to the woman with a confused look on his face, just like you now held. She couldn't be serious, could she?

‘That wasn't apart of the deal.’

Rick traces back, walking up to the woman with his hand instinctively coming to the gun held at his hip. You knew the plan couldn’t have gone this perfect, when did it ever.

‘Noah was my ward. Beth took his place and i’m losing her so, I need him back.’

Shepherd tries to step in but she's immediately shut down by Dawn, her dismissiveness to the officer leaving an eerie silence in its wake.

‘My officers put their lives on the line to find him. One of them died.’

‘He ain’t stayin’.’

Daryl responds for Rick, pushing the boy behind him, making sure that nobody would be getting caught up in this mess again. You were going to get out of here with Noah, carol and beth. That was final.

‘He's one of mine you have no claim on him.’

‘He’s not something you can claim. He's just a boy that wants to go home.’

You step forward, meeting the woman's hardened gaze head on as you stand beside Rick, just as Daryl had done, building a wall behind the others. She wasn’t taking Noah.

‘Well, then we don’t have a deal.’

She shakes her head towards the three of you, resting her eyes on Rick for the final time, a little frightening as she stares Rick down.

‘The deal is done.’

Ricks voice raises at the woman as you reach for your gun at your hip, ready to fire if needs be as Daryl does the same with his bow.

‘It’s okay, its okay-’

‘No.’

You immediately shut Noah down as he tries to move forward, not wanting any more problems for the group. You weren't going to give him up just because this woman had a sick ‘claim’ on him, it was immoral.

But he doesn’t move back, stepping between you and Rick and taking out his weapon, looking between the two of you as he does before finally passing his piece over.

‘I’ve gotta do it.’

‘It’s settled.’

But out of what you supposed was pity, Beth steps out from the group, hugging Noah tightly as he turns back to her. The two had clearly built some sort of relationship in their time here, a trauma bond of sorts, the same sort of thing you had built with Michonne. You couldn’t help but feel for her in a way, aswell as Noah. This was completely unfair… but if it was what Noah wanted, you surely couldn’t stop him and neither could Beth.

‘I knew you’d be back.’

Dawn murmurs as Beth moves away, making you look between her and Noah, quickly coming to the sickening realisation that Beth was also coming to see as-well. There was a reason that Dawn wanted Noah to stay.

With her words, Beth steps towards the woman, hatred coming off of her in waves as she sees that Dawn is just like the other male officers here, maybe even worse. That was why she hadn't stopped them, she wasn’t frightened to speak up, far from it. She’d been doing the same disgusting thing to Noah that they had been doing to all the other poor women that never left this place. Beth had to do something about it, she had to put an end to it, once and for all.

‘I get it now.’

Her voice shakes but she remains steady in her stance, a contrast to the frightened girl you had shared the same feeling of loneliness with at the farm. For a moment, you were proud of her for stepping up. Until the gun went off.

You flinch at the sound, eyes widened in shock as Beth falls to the floor, having no care for the blood that had shot back onto your face, only caring for the body of the girl you had tried so hard to save now laid upon the hospital floor.

You reach for your weapon impulsively, tears welling in your eyes and beginning to blur your vision as you move. But Daryl beats you to it, putting a bullet straight into Dawn’s head and leading her to fall to the floor alongside Beth.

You shake as everybody holds up their weapons, Shepherd shouting for everybody to hold their fire, not needing anymore deaths then there already was. You’d seen enough for today, your heart broke for Maggie, for Daryl, for everybody.

‘It’s over.’

Shepherd follows up, looking to the three of you, clearly wanting you to put down your weapons. But the events that had followed mean’t that you most certainly weren't going to, nobody was. Beth was dead, but so was Dawn.

‘It was just about her. Stand down.’

Her voice breaks in a fraction as she looks back to the officers on her team, having you look down at Beth’s body that laid lifeless before you, a small tear falling down your cheek before looking back to the other officers, gripping your gun tighter.

You move away first, realising that holding a gun up to these officers would do nothing but waste time. You had to get out of here, and fast. So you turn to Rick, seeing that he was also affected by the events that had went down, shaking in the same way that you were and turning away from the group, leading you to move closer to him, needing some sort of relief right now.

Carol held Daryl as Rick held you, embracing for a short moment and passing his hand through your hair, gently stroking the pieces that fell in a way to calm him and yourself as he turned away from Beths body, burrowing his face into the top of your scalp, not wanting to see the horrific sight for another second.

‘You can stay. We’re surviving here.’

You shake your head against Rick, letting yourself cry away from prying eyes as he turns from your embrace, still holding you but looking at the others, shaking his own head in response before replying, his voice raspier than before.

‘No. I’m takin’ anyone back there who wants to leave as-well.’

But nobody else except Noah steps forward, decidedly staying in the place that they deemed as safe enough to stay, not knowing any better.

Nobody spoke as you retreated, nor did they speak as you made your way out of the hospital, too heartbroken at the young girl’s death to even form a sentence.

Daryl had taken her body and you had let him, carrying her out as he knew Maggie would want. You just didn't expect to see her so soon.

You watch alongside Rick as Maggie falls to the floor, wailing at the sight of her little sister who she had hoped to be alive now dead in the arms of Daryl Dixon, the same man who had tried so hard to protect her before the officers had taken her away.

The guilt ate at you more and more as you watched the woman cry for her sister, turning away and trying to collect yourself in the best way that you could. But her cries couldn't be cut out, the painful sound ringing over and over in your head, leaving a few tears to stream down your face at the sound, pinching the bridge of your nose as you try and force yourself to stop the emotions from taking over you.

You barely knew Beth, but you knew Maggie. So, seeing and hearing her so distraught provoked these emotions of sadness inside of you that you had tried so very hard to rid yourself of.

Your bad feeling about the plan had been spot-on after all.

©kyrasworldd 2026

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI, mentions of cannibalism, whole load of angst w/ fluff , isolation, age gap (readers in their early 20s), themes of guilt, paranoia (just the usual rick emotions basically), depression from reader, mentions of other characters (andrea, michonne, glenn etc) , pet names (darlin, sweetheart), y/n used 2x,

pairings: rick grimes x gn!reader - s5, ep 1 + 2

word count: 6.5k (longest ive ever written…)

songs I listened to while writing: the lakes, void, tomorrow never came, i know the end, western nights, john wayne, mirrorball, how to disappear completely, the yawning grave, i dont wanna live forever

a/n: i’m sorry this took so long guys just wanted the best of my ability for you all <3 I’ve got exams coming up pretty soon so updates may be a little slower over the next few months :(

moodboard - p1 - p2

‘y/n?’

Glenn voices, eyes struck straight ahead at your bleak and beaten face, unbelieving that it was actually you, even under all the suffering that was now presented by the grit and wear that surviving alone and here had put onto your face.

‘you’re- you’re not real.’

Your voices breaks through the minute silence between you and the group, shaking your head to further progress the emotions you were feeling, further implying that the sight of them was making you spiral. You decidedly turn to the figure you were pressed against, a ragged and weak gasp falling from your broken lips as you recognise the man to be none other than Rick, eyes eventually following onto Daryl and a man you definitely didn't recognise from the farm.

‘no- no, you’re not real.’

You repeat, hanging your head down and towards the floor as you try to rid yourself of this nightmare, deeming that your mind was playing one of its sick tricks again and grabbing the hair to the sides of your scalp, grasping the strands firmly within your grip. The pain of the strain on your skin does nothing to stop the delusion you believe you are seeing upon opening your eyes, it's Rick you see before you and not the everyday red steel frames that you were imprisoned in.

‘y/n, now ain’t the time- we’re here, this? them?… t’s real.’

Rick finally voices, words definitive and clear as he grasps your shoulders tight enough now to show that he was real, that he was there, with you again. His head tilts in signal at the words ‘them’, the direction having you turn, looking to the other three men around you, Glenn and Daryl themselves still in a significant shock at the sight of you alive.

‘look at me darlin’… we gotta go.’

His voice, quieter this time, leads him to tilt his head further down, levelling with you in this intimate moment with no care for the men that were seeing it play out. The use of the pet name, one he had used on you before had your brows lifting an inch, cracked lips parted as you calmed, properly taking in the sight of the man before you, a sight you had imagined of seeing for oh so long. As he calms you best as he could, your brain weaves its way out of the blur between reality and deception, coming to see that this was all in fact real.

‘Rick?…’

Your lashes flutter with the new wetness formed, sniffling softly as your head tilts to him, his hand coming up towards your face hesitantly, scared that any sudden movement would have you retreating, just as you would with a wounded deer.

As soon as he sees that you’re relatively stable, he moves away, eyes following to Glenn to watch you for precaution while he peers around the sides of the shipping container, moving to what was left of one of the many cars in this place and checking for whatever ways he could find to get you and his crew out of here in one piece. Rick would be dammed if he let you die here now, not after he’d just found you, not ever. You do nothing except stand right where he had left you, body only having the energy to move when its necessarily needed and still very much in shock that you had been found by what was once your people. The loneliness you had written of in what was once your journal back at the farm was nothing compared to the loneliness you had come to feel in the months you were left to survive by yourself with nothing and nobody to save you. In all honesty, you had started to miss the group you had been once so insistent on leaving.

So much so when Daryl glanced over, having Glenn and the other man lead you out of the area on Rick’s command, you felt grateful you were back with somebody again. Getting out of here, even in group was tremendously difficult. With that, you knew even if you had gotten out of that container, you would’ve never made it out alive, at least not without Rick and the team.

‘stay close’

Glenn’s voice rings through the gunfire, looking towards Rick who continued to fire the rounds he had and ushering you towards what was left of a rather rusted train carriage, taking out walkers as they went. You moved with the practiced ease you had learnt, driving the knife the man you now knew to be Bob had passed you into the skulls of the dead coming at you and the team, the efficiency of your skills surprising Glenn, even in the moment, as this was not the person he once knew.

Whatever you had been through, what they’d all been through, had led you to develop these skills you were now acquitted with. He seemed to realise now why Rick had taken a liking to you before… he had seen the potential, long before any of the others had.

Hearing Rick’s voice at the back of you, you reel round, watching as a larger group of people begin to scramble out of the corroded box of metal, ripping your blade from the skull of another walker, now layed unmoving on the ground beneath you. Even in the midst of the chaos, your eyes roam, and as they do, Michonne instantly notices, a sense of relief flashing across her face at the fact that you were still alive, even after everything that had gone down in that herd.

This was no time for reunions. You move with efficiency, slashing and stabbing the walkers that dared to cross your path, adrenaline surging faster than it had for days, or however long you had been trapped. For now, you were acting on the pure need of survival, to get out of here, away from the danger you had been caught up in and with the man you had searched miles and miles for.

‘lets go- move!’

You hear somebody shout, looking over your shoulder to the group that was now scrambling to exit. You rush over, having been here far too long to wait around. The first opportunity to leave this place, you were going to take. But not without Rick.

‘we’ve gotta go.’

Taking his arm, you tug him back, coursing through the little crowd of walkers that were left to roam and arriving at the fence. With the help of the man that had been shouting before, you’re over, moving at haste towards the woods you had once survived in by yourself. The woods that had became your only friend in times that you needed it most. But these woods had betrayed you, led you to terminus. But they’d also led you here, with your people.

‘right here.’

Daryl points down at the buried dirt with him and Rick moving down towards it and digging vigorously at the hardened earth. Nobody had spoken in the short time since you had left, especially not Michonne and especially not you. The news of your survival had came as quite as shock, mostly to the members that knew you well and that has what led this silence to now drift between you all, as-well as the events of cannibals you had so narrowly escaped.

The ginger man from earlier speaks up once again, making you believe he did this quite a lot as you take into account all the new people since the farm. There was many you didn’t recognise, such as the one that was talking now but as-well as that, ones who were no longer here. You wondered what must’ve happened while you were away, what had led the group to terminus, led them back to you, led Rick, back to you. But the thought was cut shory at the feel of a hand upon your shoulder, making you flinch at the impact and grasp the knife you been given with tighter force, turning to meet the face of Michonne.

Even with the newest additions of wear upon her front, you could still recognise the woman from who she had been before. When her and Andrea had left you back at the old warehouse, you had felt betrayed, sickened at the feeling of being left behind once again. Now that she was here, with her hand rested gently upon your shoulder in a way to express her sorrows for what had happened, no words were needed to be spoken. You understood her completely, and you forgave her.

‘Rick, we got out. its over we- we found them.’

Feeling Glenn’s eyes upon you, you turn away from Michonne, meeting the eyes of the others around you, wary and cautious in the ways you had learnt on your own. However, you fall back, looking down at Rick who's looking straight back at you, a minor furrow in his brow as he thinks of what to do next.

You’d gotten alive, you all had. But seeing you there, confusion and hurt withered into your features, bruises and cuts adorning your once unblemished skin, looking to him as if he wasn’t really there. He’d wanted to kill every last one of them. Needed too. Not just for the groups sake, but for yours.

But as you looked at him now, almost begging to stay, to not return to the place that had locked you away in a measly container, away from any form of life, he stopped. Still clutching the pistol within his hand, he thinks of how distraught he’d been with you gone, how he had thought you were dead and how you were here now. If they went back, what if it went wrong? What if they went back to kill them all and you were caught in the crossfire? He couldn’t lose you again. Not to them. Not to anybody.

As if on cue, he hears a rustle behind him, directing his head and coming eye to eye with another, Carol.

Daryl surges forward in an instant, taking the woman in his arms. You’d guessed in that they must’ve built some sort of connection with you being gone, a lot of people had after all. You noticed how Glenn and Maggie seemed a lot closer, Michonne and Rick too. Something had happened whilst you weren't there, something terrible. It was almost as if Carol had been gone in the way that you had… maybe not for as long, but there was definitely something that you needed to be told here.

---

Seeing the child you had wondered so much about led a smile to come upon your face, unfamiliar but true as you watched the family reunite with each other once again. You wandered what must have happened to Lori also, seeing that the baby was here brought a broken down peace. Watching as Rick held his baby girl, cradling her head softly as Carl spoke, he looked up towards you, just as he always had and always would now that you were back.

Thanking the man that had protected his daughter, he makes his way over. The smile upon your face softens as he does, meeting his eyes in the moment as he holds the baby closer to him, looking from the child and then to you.

‘come ‘ere’

He whispers softly, taking you by your shoulder to pull you into him. He's soft in his movements, not wanting to frighten you anymore than you had been as he holds you close, not caring for anybody else that was to see.

The cry that falls from your lips is quiet, only heard for Rick and the child as he holds you closer, kissing the baby’s forehead before your own, letting you cry softer into him. Your hot tears dampen the top pocket of his grimy jacket, mixing itself in with the blood and dirt that now adorned its leather.

The tears, now stained at your cheeks were foreign, a new emotion returning from the numbness you had learnt to feel with nobody there to express them too. He was here now, here with you, allowing you to let go in his arms.

With his head rested upon your own, he turns, looking towards the sky that was starting to fill with smoke, smoke from the place that had no return.

‘we should go… somewhere far away from here.’

He begins to talk, a slight rasp in his voice as he shifts away, looking away from the darkness that enveloped the clouds and towards the group, keeping you close, like he wished he had before.

Passing the baby to his eldest, being careful to not disturb the child, the group makes their way towards the track, heading somewhere, anywhere, away from Terminus.

That place had brought too much trouble, for you especially and he’d be dammed to see you back there again. So they moved, following the tracks they had came on and walking towards whatever was to come. Whatever it was, he would face it head on, just to keep you and his children safe. It was all about survival now… and if that mean’t killing somebody for it, for you? He’d do it in a heartbeat.

‘im sorry.’

The words from his mouth, as quiet as they might have been catch your attention in the stillness of the night, head perched up by the tree behind you and meeting his eyes through the flicker of the fire before you.

You didn't speak. This conversation was going to happen, whether you liked it or not.

‘couldn’t keep you safe, Lori safe- i know that now.’

He continues, voice breaking slightly at the mention of his ex-wife before recovering quickly, shifting uncomfortably around the leaves that littered the forest floor.

‘I'm sorry.’

He repeats again, voice loud enough for only you to hear as he looks from the ground and back at your eyes, the same irises he had once dreamed of in the loneliest of nights, letting the silence take over. Only for a second.

‘I waited y’know.’

Your tone matches his, hushed and fragile around the fire, sparks flickering off in small motions off of the burning bark as you turn away, head tilting down towards the ground and mirroring his own expression.

You think back to the farm and how it had all went down. Andrea had found you after that night, perched on an overgrown log that stretched across the lake, blood scattered across your tattered clothes, a contrast to how you had been seen to her before. You sat with your back to the woman, clutching a blade in your left hand , sat at your side with your eyes staring straight ahead, watching the stream silently.

You thought if anybody returned, it would be Rick, and It would be here. The lakes.

At the sound of a rustle behind you, you turned, clutching the knife back in your hand tighter, holding it at your front, eyes observant and hands trembling with the fear that ran back through your bones. You hoped it was Rick, knowing you were alive and knowing you’d be waiting in the spot your love had been set. But that had only been a fantasy, and Andrea emerged, crushing the last hope you had.

After that day, you painfully came to the conclusion that whatever Rick and you had started that night, was gone, lost in the stream, floating away before you could grasp it again.

‘Andrea found me though, then Michonne.’

You continue after a moment of reflection, fingers subconsciously twinkling with the threads on the end of your filthy shirt as you briefly recounted the events for Rick. You didn't want to talk about it, it was a memory you wished to never think of again. But it infected your brain, even in what was supposed to be the comfort of sleep, a constant reminder of being left behind, not just by Rick, but by Michonne and Andrea, by everybody.

‘Then I lost them.’

The finality in your tone has Rick sighing, descending to the floor you found yourself upon, not to press, to show he was here, even if he hadn’t came back then.

‘You’re here now… all that matters.’

He comforts quietly, making sure to keep his voice gentle, not wanting to frighten you anymore than you were, even trying to hide it, he could tell. He takes your hand into his own at that, delicately kissing the skin he had praised months ago. The action has you lifting your head, meeting the mans eyes, blue irises reflecting back at you, holding the same love they had held back at the farm, as intimate as it had been then, now.

You nod at the words he speaks, signaling that you didn’t want to speak on them anymore. You would tell him in the end what had happened, just as he would tell you what had gone on while you were gone, you both knew that. For now, you needed rest. So, he shifts tenderly, shoulder meeting your chin and allowing you to rest your head upon the fabric of his jacket, the one he killed in for you.

Looking at the fire before you now, it reminded you of the times you had been sat up against a tree like this one, a fire before you as you were numbly met with a sleep that never came, only distant hallucinations of the ones that were gone from your life. This was the first night you hadn't been properly alone, the first night you were warmed… and it wasn't at the hands of the fire.

The sound of Glenn’s voice next to you as you wander the woods the next morning makes you jump, earning a small chuckle from the man as he begins to walk alongside you, the rest of the group moving along into their own morning conversations.

‘you alright now?’

He asks, his voice gentle, still wanting to be wary with everything that had happened. He knew the two of you had never been close before : sure, you’d shared a few conversations at the Alabama camp and the farm but, not enough to count the two of you as more than fellow survivors. He wanted to change that now.

You nod in response, mirroring the person he knew well, leaves crunching beneath your feet as you walked, a gun, given to you by Rick, now situated in your hand to ‘keep you safe’, replacing the dagger, a weapon that had once been your only safety.

‘y’know… he really worried about you while he was gone’

Glenn follows up, knowing the topic of Rick would catch your attention as the two of you strolled through the forest, voice a little lower than before, not wanting anybody else to pry into the newfound topic.

You meet the boys eyes for a second, checking if he was really telling the truth before letting out a soft sigh and picking up your pace in the slightest of motions, watching Rick with Daryl in-front of you.

‘seriously, he did.’

His voice is a little more serious this time, wanting you to know that he was being sincere in what he was saying. You didn’t have many friends here, Rick had been your only friend really, apart from Michonne. But, Glenn thought speaking about Rick and how he had been while you were gone might help build a connection, even if it was starting off small and hesitant from your side.

‘After Lori died… he was a bit, lost. Scared me a little, but Michonne and Hershel? they helped him. I think Michonne said something about you and he just- he found hope again.’

He continues to talk, even with no response. Just knowing that Rick had thought about you should have brought some peace, right? Seeing how worried Maggie had been after the prison had fell brought him immense peace, so he hoped even hearing about Rick would do the same for you.

Just as you’re about to respond, Rick turns to the group, ushering the load of you over to keep close, not wanting anything to go sideways out here. So you follow, just as you always had with him. As you do, you look back at Glenn and offer him a soft smile. It’s only little, but it’s there, and he returns it, watching as you walk over to greet the man you were closest too. The same feeling he felt looking back at Maggie.

‘help! somebody help!’

The shout has your eyebrows shooting up, turning to look back at Rick who holds his palm up to the back of the group, waiting, just in case.

But Carl’s insistency to help whoever was asking for it led you to grunt, looking to Rick in a way to tell him that you needed to do something and so, you did.

You get there first, reaching for your blade on instinct, never mind the gun situated at your waist and driving the blade through one of the few walkers skulls, the crunch of it a familiar sound as you pull it out, squirts of blood flicking off the blade and onto your face as you move to the next, taking the walking corpse by its collar and helping Michonne kill the walker with the back of her rifle, the force of it having the roamer fall to the ground.

You both turn at the exact moment, eyes zeroing in on the figure that lay upon the rock, the same man who had been shouting for help just moments before, looking down at the group, still shaking with fright.

‘come on down.’

What seems to be a priest obeys, jumping down carefully from the rock and looking around sheepishly as he comes face to face with Rick, clearly afraid of the man by the way he continues to shake.

You grimace as he vomits, turning away at the sight. You’d seen far worse things than sick since the start of the apocalypse, but the sight still had you feeling a little woozy.

After he thanks you all and states his name, you cut into the conversation, still stood beside Michonne as you speak, voice clear and assertive, contrasting the timidness you once held.

‘you got weapons?’

Gabriel chuckles at that, but the seriousness upon you and Michonnes face has him quickly stopping, looking from the two of you towards the rest of the group and then back to yourself before gulping.

‘do i look like i have any weapons?’

‘she asked a question.’

Rick cuts in almost immediately after, tilting his head up to the man that stood before him, showing his authority, doing well to frighten him.

‘i don’t have weapons of any kind… the word of god is the only protection i need.’

You stiffle a laugh at that. Even after all this time, people still believed in god? You stopped believing in that man a long time ago. What sort of ‘god’ would put you through all the shit you had for sleeping with a married man?.. Sure, what you had done was wrong, but not enough to justify what you had been through out here.

‘sure didn’t look like it.’

Daryl speaks, putting his own two pence into the conversation as he stares Gabriel down, calculating what his intentions may be as he did for everybody he now came across.

‘I called for help. help came.’

‘I came. I ain’t no god.’

You respond, shutting down his cheery tone of voice as he speaks of the saviour he still truly believed in. With your words and the rest of the groups uneasy faces, he becomes nervous again, breaths returning to their uneven rhythm as he looks around, making eye contact with Rick once again, feeling even more nervous under his look of disproval.

This man wasn’t as good as he claimed to be. There was no way. Surviving out here for so long and not even having killed a walker, never mind a living, breathing person, was too good to be true. But, he had a church, somewhere you could all hole up, even if it was only for a short amount of time. It was somewhere.

You hadn’t stepped foot into a church in years. Quite frankly, you couldn’t even remember the last time you had actually been in one. Your family had been just like any suburban American, gathering at your local church every Sunday, dressing all prissy and clean to pay your respects to your lord and saviour. That memory had been buried so far into your head that you almost forgot that it existed, until now of course.

You walked down the rows carefully, gun held out in-front of you, just in case, as the others searched the building, checking for any traps or signs that this place wasn't safe, that Gabriel wasn’t who he made himself out to be. Fortunately, there were none.

The echo of Rick’s whistle takes you out of your head, retreating back outside towards the others in the group as you stand beside Michonne and Glenn, watching intently as Rick talks with one of the newer members of the group, Abraham, about… leaving?

‘we just got here and you’re leaving?’

You cant help but ask, clearly confused on the situation at hand here. You hadn’t spoken to Abraham yet, nor the others you’d seen him closely accompanied by, but to talk about leaving when you’d just found somewhere decent enough to stay… it seemed absurd.

‘Sweetheart, with all due respect, you don’t know shit.’

Abraham responds, no real malice in his tone, just frustrated with the situation at hand. But Rick turns, palm moving away from his daughter’s head and meeting Abraham’s gaze just as sternly as he was looking back at him.

‘can’t you take a breath? Washington ain’t waitin’ on you.’

Michonne speaks, trying to diffuse the situation as she watches Rick, not wanting any more trouble than they would need. But Abraham doesn’t back down.

‘We take a breath, we slow down. Shit inevitably goes down. They need Eugene.’

‘is somebody gonna fill me in here or what?’

You huff lightly, looking between Abraham and Michonne with the same confusion from hearing him the first time. What the hell did they want in Washington?

‘Right- this man you see here?’

Abraham starts, earning a huff from Rick and Daryl but still, tilting his head to the man with a rather odd haircut that stood to the side of the church, lifting his head up on the account of his mention and looking from his friend to you.

‘He knows exactly what caused this mess, and his scientist friends in Washington are gonna help us get outta it. So, we’re takin’ that short bus, and we’re leavin’.’

‘we need supplies. no matter what we do next.’

Michonne cuts in again, facing the man head on. And even with the little information you now knew, you agreed with her.

‘shes right. We need water, ammunition , food.’

You list, looking to the group before back at Abraham, watching Rick step up and head into the church, leaving the discussion no longer up for debate.

‘short bus ain’t goin’ nowhere. Bring you back some baked beans.’

‘How’d you survive here for so long?’

Rick asks, wandering down the carpeted aisle of the church, holding the baby at his hip and getting straight to the point with Gabriel.

You stand off to the side, leant against one of the many wooden pews besides Michonne as you let them talk, observing the conversation quietly.

At the mention of a stocked food bank, your head perks up, looking from Michonne to the two men as they talk. If there was anything you needed now, it was food. Daryl’s squirrels weren’t going to last forever, that was for sure.

‘i’m coming too.’

You speak up as whos coming on the run is decided, making Rick shake his head almost instantly and turning away.

‘you’re stayin’ here, with Carl and Judith.’

He replies, checking the ammunition he has left in his rifle before putting it back by his side and looking towards Sasha and Bob.

‘How many rounds you got?’

You seethe as he disregards you, lifting yourself up from the row and walking towards him, too fast for Michonne to stop you and making him look at you as oppose him.

‘i’m coming with you.’

You repeat, eyebrows furrowing slightly in objection as he turns to look at you, meeting your defiance head on with his own. He wasn’t gonna put you in danger, not for some damn food cans that was for sure.

‘y/n- don’t make it difficult. you ain’t comin’.’

He gruffs in slight annoyance, but his face reveals his concern. You know he dosen’t want you to get hurt, but you could handle this. You weren’t the same person he met back at that Alabama camp, you could fend for yourself, you had fended for yourself, and if they needed help from anybody with walkers from now on, it was you.

‘i’m coming.’

He wasn’t winning this argument.

‘this it?’

You ask, earning a nod from Gabriel as he walks up the curb, leaving you to look back at the group as you observe the food bank’s exterior, looking over its peeling paint and worn and rusted sign that read ‘McQuarrie Family services - Food Bank and Thrift Store’ as he spoke.

Opening the door, Rick immediately puts up his rifle, leading you to do the same with your own as the six of you observe the desolate building, the stale stench a familiar scent from the times you had scavenged by yourself.

At the sound of walkers in the distance, he moves up his hand, a signal to start moving, slowly and carefully. You do, looking back at Michonne and Sasha as you tread lightly, minding your way past broken glass and crumpled up paper that was now strewn across the wooden floor when he signals for you to move forward.

Your empty hand comes up on instinct to your nose at the smell of rotten corpses mingled into a pit of water , having found its way into the hole through the gaps in the roof, spotted by Michonne.

‘we’re really gonna have to go down there, aren’t we?’

You groan, taking in the ugly sight below you, earning a sigh from Bob that was now stood beside Sasha, the five of you all looking down at the food that could be seen on the flooded shelves, Gabriel stood to the side and grimacing at the smell of it as you all were.

‘told ya’ not to come.’

You roll your eyes at Rick’s remark, placing your gun back in its holster at your waist and moving to climb down into the pit. The things you had to do for food.

In-between Michonne moving the shelves, you grab your blade, lunging it into the front of one of the walkers heads and pulling it back out with the same speed, watching it fall back into the grimy water as you all move to try and get the food as quickly as possible.

The sound of waves splashing and wood collapsing in the midst of killing leads your brows to furrow, turning your head to the direction of the sound and watching with confusion as Gabriel scrambles through the water, seemingly trying to escape a specific walker that had its eyes on him.

‘for fucks sake.’

You grumble under your breath, watching the man now backed up against one of the walls to the further sides of room, hyperventilating in the same way he had been when you found him. Catching the groups attention, Rick makes a plan, leading you to knock down one of the shelves in-front of you and for him to make his way over and get Gabriel out of the mess he had annoyingly gotten himself into.

Thanks to Gabriel, the walkers are everywhere, surrounding you from all angles and leading you to come face to face with one. Taking your blade, you drive it through ones skull before moving at haste to smash the brains of another.

You take a sigh of relief as the last one is killed, leaning against one of the shelves as you shut your eyes for a split second, taking some much needed respite until you hear Sasha shout bobs name, leading you to grab your blade again and move to help the man.

As the last walker falls down onto a pole, you grab a crate, passing it immediately to Sasha and watching as she smashes it into the roamers head before fully killing it off, taking your last sigh of relief as she checks over her partner.

‘Do you miss the sword?’

Rick asks from behind you and Michonne as you all pull the food you had found along the road, leading you to smile at the mention of the weapon you had once seen the woman acquainted with.

‘you were a killer with that thing.’

You joke half seriously, turning your head up to the woman as you think back to the times you had spent with her and Andrea. The winters had been long, but the summers you spent alone had been longer.

She shakes her head at your quip, looking away to hide the smile on her face before responding to Rick’s question and continuing to roll the crates along the path.

‘It wasn’t really mine… found it, at the very beginning.’

‘how’d you get so good?’

He continues to ask, pulling a conversation out of the woman, something to fill the time as you make your way back to the church.

‘it was just me, and them, out here. Same way y/n is with their blade. Just, learnt.’

She replies, catching your eye for a moment as you both remember the times with Andrea, the time where they had lost you to the crowd of walkers. Even with both your skills, the herd had been too big and you had been lost. Remembering that led to a silence, the memory something neither of you had chosen to speak on, atleast not yet.

‘it wasn’t a life… not like today.’

Michonne breaks the silence, looking back at you and Rick with a soft smile as she continues to speak, trying to lighten the mood again.

‘stumbling around in three feet of slime for some peas and carrots, thats living.’

You chuckle at that, you all do, turning the corner back to the church and moving to welcome the rest of the group with the food you all well and truly needed.

‘I miss Andrea, I miss Hershel. But, I don’t miss what was before. I don’t miss the sword.’

The mention of the woman the two of you had been closest to in them seven months of surviving caused a slight ache to form in your chest. You didn’t know what had happened to her, nor Hershel, but from the way Rick and Michonne’s faces had both dropped, you figured it hadn’t had been good.

‘she’s a real pretty baby, huh?’

You speak as you sit besides Rick, a softened smile depicted upon your face as you all sit around and eat, a sense of normalcy falling back onto the group.

He returns your smile at your words, passing the baby girl into your arms and letting her rest on your chest as you rest together, situated with a paper plate of variety canned vegetables and beans with a glass of communion wine from the hands of the pastor himself.

‘yeah, yeah she is.’

He replies to your words of praise to his daughter, pressing a kiss to your cheekbone as you hold her before resting his head upon yours and looking around to the rest of the group. Moments like these are what he continued to live for, what you all continued to live for… and he wasn’t gonna take them for granted.

Taking a baby carrot from your plate, you make a small ‘aa’ sound, taking the wet, canned vegetable between your fingers and feeding it to Judith who rested at your chest, taking the vegetable into her mouth with a gummy smile. The sight of you with his child, feeding and laughing with her warms his heart, leading him to press another kiss to the top of your head before watching Abraham make a toast, leading the two of you to lift your head in tandem to the man.

You lift your glass up at his words, smiling gratefully at the term ‘surrvivors’ as you rest against Rick, finally feeling peace. You used to believe that surrviving was for the unlucky ones, that it was just a punishment for all the wrong you had done… but now, you knew that it wasnt.

Surviving was for the strongest, surviving meant living and living, was the greatest gift of all if it meant you were here with people like Rick to help you through it. Being a survivor was for the lucky ones.

At the mention of this roadtrip of Abrahams, Judith coos, leading you to press a soft kiss to her head, shifting the bundle of life in your arms and looking back at the man, watching him as he talks alongside the rest of the group.

With his words of safety in DC, you begin to rethink all of this, looking up at Rick and seeing that he is also. Meeting his eyes, you nod lightly, agreeing with what the man is saying and looking back to baby Judith who coos at the tension between you both.

With all eyes on Abraham, he looks from the two of you both to the rest of the group, thinking for a moment before meeting the eyes of Abraham that lay situated on him.

‘Save the world for that little one. save it for yourselves. save it for the people out there…’

He nods towards the door, making you think back to Andrea, Jim, Dale, everybody you’d lost in the end of the world. If there was any chance of stopping it, any chance of ensuring Rick and all the others in this room would continue breathing, you’d take it without a second thought.

At the sound of Judith cooing against you again, Rick chuckles, earning a breath of laughter from yourselves and a few others in the room as he turns to look down at her,

‘what was that?.. I think she knows what im about to say.’

He speaks, turning everybodys attention away from Abraham and onto himself. His voice softened in the moment as he tilts his head down to you, smiling sweetly before turning to Tyreese and back at Abraham with the same expression.

‘She’s in. If she’s in, I guess i’m in.’

The words he speaks leads to a small commotion: a smile from yourself, a laugh from Tyreese and a clap of approval from Glenn who smiles giddly with Maggie at the three of you all cuddled up together besides the rows of the church.

You finally had the chance to live again, the idea of starting something new, the chance to finish this once and for all. And with that, you were so very grateful to be surviving.

©kyrasworldd 2026

warnings: mentions of attempted suicide, reader + rick going insane, hallucinations, mentions of cannibalism, whole load of angst w/ fluff , isolation, age gap (readers in their early 20s), themes of guilt, paranoia (just the usual rick emotions basically), depression from reader, mentions of michonne, andrea, jim etc

pairings: rick Grimes x gn!reader - s2-s4

word count: 3.4k

songs I listened to while writing: the lakes, same ol' mistakes, who is she?, it almost worked, dagger, western nights, tongue, this is me trying

a/n: Thanks to my beloved writers server i've decided to make the lakes a series!! Im so excited to write this for you guys I have high hopes for this fic and where its going to go <3

moodboard - p1 - p3

You remembered how it had been before this. Waking up to the sound of crickets chirping in the early morning, having the ability to wake up knowing you were somewhat safe on the farm that your group, no matter how much you disliked being with them, had found sanctuary on. You'd really taken that for granted.

You were left behind, surrounded by the walkers that invaded what had became your home these past few weeks, only company being Andrea as you both made your way out with the little rounds you had left. Michonne had came through like the last gift god was willing to give, more so for Andrea than yourself but still, you were thankful.

You knew why this had happened, of course you knew why. It was the raft of god, condemning you to hell for what you had done, for laying with a married man. You had been unlucky, and that continued to follow after the fall of the farm.

The little relief you had felt with Rick that night meant nothing now, surrounded by walkers at all sides, Andrea screaming your name as the two of you were on either sides of the horde.

Locking eyes with Michonne as she held Andrea back, you knew the choice she had made. As always, it wasn't for you. To believe that even for a second that it could've been was foolish, when had you ever been first pick after all?... you surely weren't to Rick, that being clear when he had left you behind and now, you weren't to Michonne.

The days blended into each other after that, always alert for what was coming, walkers or basic threat, anything set you off now. It didn't take long for you to realise nobody was coming to save you, Andrea and Michonne weren't coming back, why would they? Nobody ever came back, at least not for just you. Back at the CDC, you were mean't to die there, you wanted it more than anything. But Dale had came back for Andrea and you had put in your piece, spoke your truth on how the world would never be the same, how it was better to go out on your own accord. But the old man had shut you down, spoke about Jim and how he wouldn't have wanted this for you and so, had you walking out the building with him and Andrea. You wished you'd never left, wished you'd died there because everything that had followed after the CDC proved the point you had made that day, the fact that the world you were living in now would only get worse.

Maybe it would be better to let go, let the walkers rip you limb for limb as they should've done before all of this. You'd been so close to using your last round and driving a bullet into your skull, the impact of it killing you once and for all on your own accord. That was until you saw him.

'Jim?'

You whisper, barrel of the corroding gun still pressed gently against your roughened skin, head cocked to the side as you try to make out the figure before you.

'you need to get up.'

The voice mutters towards you, a little incoherent but you can still make out the words enough to turn your head again, peering up to the man you now recognised to be Jim, sickly pale in the same way he had been when you left him.

'I'm not listening to a dead man...'

You laugh this time, but the noise comes out dry, scratching at the insides of your throat from the lack of appearance in these past few months. Turning to squint up at him again and seeing the pity he held in them lifeless eyes, you sigh, dropping the gun and letting the pistol bounce once against the forests fallen leaves and leaning back defeatedly against the hollow trunk at your back.

'happy now?'

You murmur, looking up from your gun which lay unused at your side and he's gone, leaving you all by yourself once again.

It had been a while since Rick had seen you in his head.

After Lori's death he'd lost it, shouting up at walls he seen the woman's face in, scaring not only his son but everybody else around him. The prison had became his own personal hell, trapping him within its walls and the visions of you and Lori along with it. Their leader, the man who had hauled them through everything so far, gave them hope, was quite frankly losing it. And it wasn't stopping there.

Rick thought back to the first time he had heard you, the crackle of your voice coming through that broken old telephone down where Lori had passed and how his body had jolted, frozen in place at the sound of your rasp.

'what happened Rick?

You'd asked, and all the man could do was cry, whimpering into the phone as he fell to the floor, tattered cord tangling with his movements.

'm'sorry y/n. m'sorry, 'm so sorry'

He repeats over and over, needing to apologise, not just for leaving you behind but for what he had done to you, having you feel the way that he had also felt just to completely avoid you on the following days after the event. He hated himself for it every single day, now more than ever as you cried quietly into the phone, mirroring his own sobs which broke between the words he tried to speak.

'I was gonna' end it- thought I could keep ya' both alive n I-'

He stops, teeth clenched tightly in his mouth, stopping himself from crying even more than he should've been. But he just couldn't, he was breaking, and you weren't there to pick up the pieces. You were gone, and so was Lori. That was more than enough to send him into this state of psychosis.

The days after the phone call, it had only gotten worse. Watching Lori turn into yourself was what had him fully break, crying loudly for you to go away , taking out his gun in a fit of hysteria and scaring off the group that had came to him for help, now ushered away by Glenn. He was losing it, and he couldn't do anything to stop it. All the group could wonder was why he had called your name in the midst of this breakdown and not his late wife's. Michonne, stood off to the side, had her head bowed low, hiding the guilty expression on her face as she remembered what had happened to you in the end, a memory that was all too familiar.

Hershel had gotten him out of that hole after he had found him outside the next day, wandering out of the prison fence and talking to himself incoherently. Hershel knew something had to be done after michonne had came to him, explaining how she had been with you before all of this. Putting the pieces of the story together, Hershel knew he had to help. The people needed their leader, Glenn couldn't live up to Rick, no matter how hard he would try, he just couldn't. So, Hershel had to get him back.

Hershel was no man that judged, Rick knowing that well enough spoke of his troubles, helping the older man understand why he was out there and that there was an answer in all of it. Hershel met him halfway, telling him the half-truth on what michonne had mentioned about you still being out there, still fighting with nothing left to fight for and with the news of your survival, Rick made his way back.

He had hope again. With the protection of the prison and having it turned into a real home after the Governor's leave, him, Michonne and Daryl tried their hardest to look for you. The group searched across the entire state for any signs to where you might have gone and where the Governor may have been hiding, holding out hope for his own sanity and Michonnes.

You wouldn't be found. At least not until God had deemed your suffering enough.

After the brief encounter with Jim, you did what you could to keep going, even when it pained you to do so. You knew if you were to put the barrel to your head again, your brain would conjure up another person you spent your days missing, a sick way to keep you alive, even if there wasn't many options on the list of people to visit, you couldn't bare for one of them to be Rick. Instead, you kept going, killing lonesome walkers that stumbled across your path down the Georgia roads until you were stopped at a railway track, observing the area as you always did now and stepping onto its tracks.

You figured staying on the tracks was safer than the woods you were accustomed to now. Before, you would've said the opposite of that statement. But before, you had the safety provided by Michonne's two chained walkers, even with how sick it may have been, it was nothing compared to what you'd seen in these past few months of survival. You'd only survived now out of either sheer luck or severe punishment. Either way, you supposed you were to be grateful.

Walking slowly down the tracks, you noticed a sign, moving closer to the slab of wood held up by a rather weathered pike and reading the words that were there before you.

Sanctuary

for all

Community

For all

Those who arrive

Survive

Maybe it was sheer luck after all.

The first night after the prison had fell, Rick had dreamt of you.

He wasn't sure if he was dreaming at first... the pain in his side remained, still rested atop of the couch him and carl had found the night before, having to adjust by themselves for now.

You walked steadily towards him, bringing light to the darkness of the room. He hastily adjusted, rubbing his tired eyes and looking upwards to not only see yourself, but Judith, cooing softly against your unblemished chest. You looked the same as you had the last time he had seen you, not through altered visions his mind had conjured but from the farm, purely you.

'Rick... your face.'

You observe, voice laced with concern as you lean forward towards him, delicate fingers grazing against the coarse cuts which were now etched onto his face, blood dried and cracking whilst you held Judith closer.

You felt so real. Rick could feel the heat of your skin against his own, a feeling he hadn't felt since that night... how he had missed it. He lets his eyes flicker shut at the notion, his own hand coming up to take the hand held closest to his face and hold it, squeezing just once to test that you were really there. Really with him in this moment, with Judith.

'you've gotta wake up Rick... Carls worried'

you whisper softly after a few seconds of shared silence, squeezing back into Rick's hand with a tender smile, one which was broken around its edges but there, for him.

He shakes his head at the words you speak, letting his eyes flutter back open and onto your face, taking it in while he still can, holding your softer hand to his own.

'jus'... let me stay for a little longer, please.'

He whispers, pleading now as he looks up, thumb caressing the skin atop your knuckle languidly, scared that if he applied too much pressure, you and Judith would disappear.

'you need to wake up... keep Carl safe.'

He reachs for your hand as it slips but you're gone, leading him to lose his balance and fall off of the shabby couch. He gasps for air, rasping as the pain of his injuries immediately hit, throat itching harshly at itself. He reaches for Carl, trying his absolute hardest to speak the boy's name as he cries, the sound of his snivels tearing him further apart than the dream of you and Judith had already done. However, Carl drops his weapon with the lack of response from his father, sobbing harder as he begins to speak.

'I can't... I was wrong. Just do it.'

He whimpers, Rick's strained hand outstretched to him , voice clawing its way out of his scratchy throat before he finally gruff.

'Carl... don't go outside. Stay safe.'

He struggles on the words but, he continues, doing what you had said and keeping Carl safe. He couldn't lose anybody else.

With that, he turns over again, collapsing against the floor and silently praying that you will return through his slumber again.

Terminus was anything but sheer luck.

The track to the sanctuary had been longer than you had hoped, avoiding at all costs other groups, knowing the trouble they brought from fleeting experiences along the way. You dealt with it when you had too, no regret, just the need to survive by any means necessary. Was that not how people got by now?

Walking through the gates of Terminus and seeing the laundry baskets and hampers already had you feeling uneasy. The domestic life this place was already beginning to offer felt too good to be true. After being on your own for so long, the ruminating thoughts had switched off. But now, they were in overload.

What if this place is wrong? What if Rick and everybody are already here? What happens if you turn the corner and the place has been overrun with walkers?.. knowing your luck, you really wouldn't be surprised.

But even with all the thoughts, you turned, clutching onto the last of your weapons - a small and dainty pocket knife situated in your jacket pocket. You knew it would do nothing if there was a horde but still, you were prepared.

And there there was, a woman, mid 50s maybe, stood opposite a burning grill, cooking what you had guessed at the time to be deer with a welcoming smile on her face.

'Hi, I'm Mary. Looks like you've been on the road a while.'

She speaks, the smile on her face turning pitiful as she looks over your appearance, catching the bruises and cuts, as-well as the rips and dirt on your once clean clothes. But with no response from yourself, she sighs softly, voice still soft as she speaks again.

'Let's get you settled with a warm plate. Welcome to Terminus.'

'that deer?-'

clunk

After finding Michonne and Daryl, Rick made a beeline for Terminus, knowing that if there was somebody the group had holed up after the fall of the prison, it would be this place.

The events of the night before were still replaying in his head. The feel of his teeth sunken into human flesh, hand held tight around his blade as he stabbed the man who touched his son. It'd all happened so quickly, in a fit of rage, he had let Carl, Michonne, Daryl, all of them, see how far he had fallen into the darkness.

He knew none of them blamed him, how could they when he practically saved them?... Nevertheless, knowing his son now rested with Michonne inside the stationary car restless with the memories of his father acting the way he had had him feeling a whole lot worse.

With his back against the car, he reached into the inside of his jacket pocket, doing his best to not ruin the pages of the journal but then failing miserably.

'shit'

He grunts frustratedly, moving to wipe the remnants of blood smeared across his hands against his already browning shirt. To think that the shirt had once been white was slightly amusing.

He picks up the journal once again, specks of red now smeared slightly across its front which Rick just sighs at the sight, no energy for anything else, leaning back further against the car as he opens it up.

When the prison had fell, he'd been insanely grateful to himself that he had slipped the journal into his jacket pocket earlier on into the today, thinking he was to be going on look out into the night. But of course, that was cut short.

He can't help but smile weakly as he always does at the first few pages. Light sketches which had been done by yourself back at the farm, are what were depicted on its pages, some of the farm's appearance but most being sketches of himself.

He flicks again, fragile pages crinkling against his nimble fingers as he reads the poems, finding his favourite towards the end of the journal and staring down at the words for a few seconds. He remembered the first time he'd read this piece of yours, the night after the fall of the farm, curled up in a deserted car with Carl on his lap and needing some peace during this time. It did nothing to calm him, at least not then. It however, did now.

‘if i follow you to the river,

would you come and bring me peace?

will you stay with me forever?

will you chase me in my dreams?

if i throw it all in the river,

if i let my thoughts run free,

would you stay here forever?

would you come be lonely with me?’

Delving back into the old memories, he hadn't noticed that he had began to cry, not until Daryl placed down his crossbow, metal clanking against the rusted car's metal and knocking rick out of his trance.

He sniffles, grasping the book and closing it shut as he moves to put it back into his tattered jacket pocket, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand quicker, not wanting the man to see him like this, no one for that matter. But Daryl batted no eye, handing him a much needed rag to wipe his face, no words needed just, a shared look, a look that mean't that he knew. He knew.

You didn't fight it. What was the point of fighting against four walls of steel? The pain from where you had been hit on the back of your head was gone now. Once again, you were left to your own devices, trapped in a container in a place disguised as good. God really fucking hated you huh?

You weren't sure how long you'd been here now. Long enough for them to chuck in small amount of foods you refused every once in a while but, not long enough for them to kill you. What sort of sick torture even was this? If they were going to eat you, why not just do it now? You wondered for the 100th time, staring at the same red walls as you had for the past however many hours.

Something was happening though. The day before, all you had heard was gunfire, banging on the container for help that never seemed to come but then, it was gone, leaving behind its eerie silence with it.

You were about to doze off, it being the only thing you really could do to take your mind off the current situation at hand until the sounds outside of the container grew again. But this time, it wasn't just gunfire.

You banged louder than you had all the previous times, voice breaking from the lack of water as you shout for help again, praying that somebody, anybody, would get you out of there.

The screech of the container's lock moving up had you stilling, fists bunching up incase of any threat that was to come your way. The adrenaline running through your bones was running faster, prepared to attack for any reason deemed necessary. Prepared to run. Hide. Anything.

So, as soon as the door swung open, you attacked blindly, pouncing onto the man before you, voice too broken to scream, just a cry coming out weakly.

Yet, he pushes back, having you stumble into the hands of another, catching his own breath doing so.

‘please- jus’ , let me go'

You fall against the second man, squinting at the sun you hadn't seen for much too long, eyes flickering shut in defeat as you weakly beg. It was the first time you'd ever even done so. Your voice was weak, barely audible with the sound of gunfire and walkers all around you.

But they heard, heads turned up, especially Rick’s which was to the back of you when Glenn, stood in-front of the two of you, realised who exactly they'd let out.

‘y/n?’

© 𝘬𝘺𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥𝘥 2026

warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI !, smut w/ fluff + angst, porn w/ too much plot, reader is a #loner like myself, age gap (readers is in their early 20s), cheating , suggestive, mentions of shane, lori, etc , somnophilia, slight obsession from reader (theyre just a lil yearner), confused lovers,

pairings: s2!rick grimes x gn!reader - s2, ep4

word count: 2.2k

songs I listened to while writing: the lakes, illicit affairs, visions of Gideon, your best American girl, crush, the river ...

a/n: this is my first time writing smut in a while so pls, dont judge <_>. i personally really like this fic (kinda proud of it) so i hope you guys like it! i left the ending ambiguous but if people want a p2 i might consider doing it. also finally proof read LOL. confirmed series <3

moodboard - p2 - p3

You didn’t belong. You never really had and even as the world came to an end, you still couldn’t fit into the group, even at the stakes of your own survival. To the group you were seen as weaker, you knew how they thought, had been with them so long to know exactly how they were thinking and for some, it made them feel inferior, leaving them to disregard you when it came to group conversations and more.

The only person who had ever had your back apart from the family you had lost so early on was Jim. Back in Atlanta he had been like a brother for you, somebody you could always rely on but, he had gone too, just like they all had. But lately, you had found yourself coming into conversation with Rick a whole lot more than you had used too.

Since your arrival at the farm, Rick had come to acknowledge you more. You still found it hard to understand why but, you weren’t unhappy with the change, far from it in fact. It was nice to have a man like rick looking out for you, an older authorial figure, it was comforting, a feeling you hadn't felt from anybody in a long, long time.

And as ricks life slowly began to unravel around him, there you were, looking to him with them deep set of eyes. You were a temptation he knew that he wouldn’t be able to resist for long, not with the stress of what Lori and Shane had been and not with the pressure on how a leader should guide his people instead of continuing to let them down, again, and again.

On the days where the refuge of the farm had gotten too much to bare, you found yourself nearing the swamp, never too close to the walkers but close enough to hear the calming sound of the stream. It wasn't as if anybody would notice your disappearance on camp anyway… to them, you were invisible, an extra mouth to feed and you hated how it had started to make you feel, so much so you were genuinely starting to consider the offer Shane had placed infront of you a few days prior.

You spent most your days on the farm drowning them out, sitting by the stream writing whatever you could in your journal. Recently, the pages of your journal had only been on Rick... little poems on how sweetly he had spoken to you, quick sketches of his face peppered with salt and pepper stubble as the sun set on the farm… you knew it was silly and most of all, you knew it was wrong. But, could anybody really blame you? Rick was a handsome man and there was no harm in fantasising a little, right?

but it wasn't just a fantasy.

Rick had began to notice your drifting away from camp, disappearing in the early mornings or into the late hours of the night. But this evening after Lori had finally decided her secrets were worth telling, he acted on impulse, needing to clear his head and walked down to where he knew you would be hiding.

The snap of a twig in the growing darkness of the greene’s woods made you jump, clutching your well-used pocket knife in your twitching hand as you turn, heart racing faster than it had in months.

‘only me darlin’’

rick says gently, making you aware of his presence as he moved slowly towards your smaller form, not wanting to scare you. A hint of a smile finds its way onto his face, just noticeable in the only light of the moon creeping through the tree branches.

You sigh softly, letting your grip, still held tight, against the ruggedness of your pocket knife drop inside your pocket, closing the journal which lays beside your feet and beginning to stand. He looks even more beautiful in this lighting and you hate yourself even more as you are already making a mental note of this image of him in your head, stored away inside your brain for the nights you want to get off to something you wished didn't have to be somebody already claimed.

‘I know , I shouldn’t be out here… I'm sorry’

You already begin to apologise, a common habit of yours seen already from Rick at camp. You're not able to meet his eyes, to ashamed from what you were just thinking and instead, move o return back to camp. However, he stops you, reaching out and taking your smaller hand in his own. He’s surprisingly warmer against your numbed skin and the feel of another’s skin against your own is foreign but, nice. He lets his thumb move against the skin, just below your own ever so softly before meeting your eyes and gently, taking his other hand to cup your cheek, providing more warmth for your bleak skin.

For a second, Rick dosen't think about Lori. Or Shane. Or the family that he had here. The only thing that can form inside Rick Grime's head is how it finally felt to hold your face in his palm, how it had felt so right. The amount of nights he had imagined himself doing this, letting his thumb graze against your lips and taking you right where the both of you stood. What scared him the most was that he nearly had.

‘should be gettin’ back to camp, t’s dark.’

With that, he drops his hand, retreating the piece of flesh as if it has been burned to the touch and placing it back into his warmer pocket, retreating away from yourself. before the silence between the two of you is broken by the sound of your voice cutting through it.

‘i'm leaving rick.’

You announce, leading the man to turn back, right eyebrow slightly raised in confusion as his eyes skim over your softened features once again, taking them in as the seriousness of your words slowly start to sink in.

‘shane wants to go and- and so do I. I don't belong here rick, y’know that better than anybody. i'm causing problems and you, you don’t need that, not from me, not now’

You admit, words slightly hoarse as they come out your throat but still, you hold your ground. It was the right thing to do, you were sure of it and you knew that deep down, he was too. You couldn’t continue to stay in a place where you knew you weren't welcome and stirring problems... it would never work out for you, you didn't expect it too, Not when the man you loved too dearly wasn't yours.

‘don't be tellin’ me what i need y/n, you dont- you dont have to leave, especially with- with Shane. You aint cousin' no problems, not for me.’

Rick begins to explain, words coming out a little more frantic than he had hoped they would as he found himself placing his own hand across yours again, eyes focused to your face once again. If anybody was causing problems it was Shane, he should be leaving by himself, not dragging you down with him. He wouldn't allow it.

‘Let's get you back to the farm and, we'll- we’ll talk about this, properly.’

his thumb moves in its regular motion against the crease of your own as he had done before to soothe you, to try and make you believe in what he was saying. But it just wasn’t cutting.

‘I'm sorry Rick, i'm going’

You let go of his hand with that, holding what little self respect you had for yourself left and walking away from the conversation, back to the camp. In the morning you would be gone, set off down the highway with Shane, away from the group who had never accepted you as their own but also, departed from the one man who’s soul had been torn apart onto your pages at the hands of yourself, now to be carried with you for however long you were to survive without him.

The thought had your body running cold but, you dismissed it, climbing into the little space you had been given in your tent and setting off to bed. Tomorrow, you would be rid of this farm, rid of all the bad luck you had been carrying with you and onto these people but most of all, rid of Rick.

He just couldn’t see you go, not without the goodbye he so desperately needed.

You didn’t know how long you had been asleep. A few hours, a few minutes. It didn’t matter now. The feel of somebody’s colder fingers tracing against your now warmer skin had led you to stir, a slight movement made half-asleep, welcoming the fingers that were now moving upwards of your inner thigh. You hadn’t fully woken up yet, hadn’t fully opened your eyes but, the feel of hard lips pressed against your pulse point and the pressure of another body on your own led you to awake this time.

‘Rick?, what- what are you’m doing’

you murmur as the man creeps on top of you, sturdy hands moving to press your thighs apart and you cant help but moan softly when he does so, the feel of his growing erection pressed against your most needed area feeling exquisite and, you couldn't help but feel the need for more. This was crazy, this was wrong… but you weren’t about to back out now, and neither was he.

‘dropped that lil book of yours, had a quick read- couldn’t let ya’ leave all riled up now could i?’

He whispers with a soft grunt, belt buckle clinking against itself as he begins to rid himself of his trousers, needing to feel himself inside of you like he had wished for so long, craved for so long.

You must have completely forgotten about the journal, left it by the swamp after your talk with Rick. Fuck. He must’ve seen everything from the small doodles to the poems written on how the temptations building between the two of you were coming to much to bare, itching to get out of your skin and be acted on. Before you could even ask about what he had read, he pushes inside of you without any warning, body immediately irking up into him and a pathetic whimper falling past your lips before you could stop it.

‘God-‘

Is the only word you can fathom as he settles his thick, pulsating cock inside of you, relishing the feeling of how he felt around your tightening walls before letting himself move against them, pleasuring the both of you with it.

‘couldn't let you go- not without doin’ this...'

He grunts against you, burying his face up against the cuff of your neck, teeth grazing your pulse point before settling down onto it lightly. His hands move on impulse up your body, touching whatever he could feel as his movements into you came into a regular rhytmn, a rhythm which had you whimpering softly beneath him.

‘s’good. knew you’d be- always knew’

He admits lowly into your ear as he kisses up your neck, body consumed by the fire and no longer caring for the burns he would receive, only the feel of you beneath him and the noises which had him hurling towards his finish faster than he had been expecting. He speeds himself up in a second, touching you in the places you needed the most so you would come and finish with him, needing to feel you squeeze around himself.

‘rick- rick im gonna,’

‘yeah, yeah- let go f’me’

he grunts again, sweat glimmering off of his skin, reflecting off the candle light inside of your oil lamp, the only light inside of the tight space of your tent. and as your eyes flickered open, resting upon his own blue ones, you saw past the unbridled lust and instead, the love that was beginning to bloom between the two of you. it was wrong but it was there, something that couldn’t be mistaken and as you found it, your body let go, letting out a cacophony of moans under his palm, eyes still held onto his own in a trance like state, not being able to pull yourself away from the bright blue iris’s that you had sketched so many times before.

Rick found himself leaving a few minutes after the two of you came down, a little lost in his way after the incredible orgasm he had felt but also the other feeling he had felt, one he had known you had too and one that would stick with him a whole lot longer than the fleeting feel of pleasure.. but what was he to do with that new found information? He had a wife, a son. This had been wrong, something he should have never acted on. But he had and now, in just a few hours, you were going to leave him behind and Shane would do the same for Lori.

Everything would be okay again, his family, so broken now, would be fixed again. But what if he didn't want that? If he was to lay next to his sleeping wife and son and read through the pages of your journal for the rest of his life, would that be fair? would that be right? that, that is what he would now have to decide for himself.

© 𝘬𝘺𝘳𝘢𝘴𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘭𝘥𝘥 2026

Warnings: heavy angst, cheating, mention of a panic attack

Don’t actually yell at me if you get upset I warned you

You were on wall duty the night Rick and Daryl brought back some guy they called ‘Jesus’. You had signaled for the gate to be opened and watched as they drove the car in, parking it.

Rick climbed out of the drivers seat just as you finished descending down the ladder, and you quickly jogged up to him giving him a quick peck, “Hey, glad to see you’re back okay.”

“Yeah,” He sighed, clearly tired and frustrated. He gave you a half smile before helping Daryl lug the unconscious man away.

That was the last time you saw your long term boyfriend till very early the next morning. You were on your way home from finishing your shift to find many of your group rushing into your house, weapons drawn.

Alarmed, you instantly took off into a sprint, entering the house right after Maggie and try pushing your way up the stairs.

“Wait Y/N,” Abraham says as you try to move past him, he has his back to you, gun trained on something, and your heart sinks.

“Abe, move.” You easily duck under his arm, and when you stand up you’re instantly confused.

The man from last night is sitting on the stairs, holding a picture and looking extremely confused. Carl, Daryl, and Glenn all have their guns out and pointed at him, but look extremely pissed.

You notice movement behind Carl and that’s when you see it, that’s when you understand.

Rick, standing there, pants undone and struggling to get his shirt on, with Michonne standing behind him in almost the same state. In the doorway of your bedroom.

You just stand there, probably looking stupid, staring at the man you love very obviously come out of bed with another woman.

Rick stares right back at you, his eyes wide, mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water, until eventually, “Y/N-“

“Daryl, move Jesus to the dining room.” You cut him off, not even thinking just acting. Just going on instinct, remembering that there is a crowd of your family here and that you can’t, you won’t, do this now.

Daryl does as you say without question, grabbing Jesus by the back of his coat and hauling him down the stairs. The rest slowly follow him, sparing glances at the three of you as they go.

Once everyone is out of the general vicinity Rick tries again, “Y/N-“

“No.” You say calmly, looking at the dust on your shoes. It’s more appealing than their guilt and shame, “I want my things out of there at the earliest convenience.”

You turn around and start walking down the stairs, but a hand grabbing your arm stops you, “W-wait, Y/N we can-“

“Don’t!” You yell, the barely held back tears finally forming, and you yank your arm back, “Don’t you touch me! Don’t you ever touch me again!”

You don’t really remember much after that, the panic attack that took over completely removing your memory.

But somehow, you ended up outside, curled up in Maggie’s arms, crying your heart out.

would you ever write for Rick Grimes?

A little more tenderness.

Paring: Rick Grimes x fem! reader ft. 🪸

Masterlist | Who am i? | REQUESTS ARE OPEN!

A/n: Thank you lovely! and why not? Might aswell try some new things. Also working on a masterlist!

Genre: Angsty fluff.

Warnings: none

Era: Post Woodbury prison. Early season 4.

Word count: 0.8k

Rick watched Carl closely as he helped him with the pigs out on the prison's front yard. His son seemed different, avoidant, unusually quiet and when the ex-sheriff caught sight of you at a distance, watching the two of them, the pieces started to fall into place.

“Are you gonna tell me what happened,” Rick said, his voice calm but edged with steel, “or do I have to ask her?”

♡ something for you ♡

pairing: rick grimes x fem!reader

summary: rick comes home from a long supply run with something special just for you <3 

content: softie!rick, fem!reader, pre-established relationship, alexandria safe zone, smut, a lot of plot before the porn, the porn is worth it though, fluff, a smidgen of angst (just a little bit i promise)

warnings: 18+, gore and blood, loss/grief (canon typical, don't fear), p in v sex, oral sex (m receiving), oral sex (f receiving), use of nicknames: sweetheart, darlin’, baby, honey, pretty girl, (idk what else he be calling you all sorts sweet names though) etc.

word count: 6.8k (omg)

author’s note: eeeep my first request ever! and such a good one- rick being sweet and caring is my favorite version of him (and totally the truth if you ask me). it’s a little longer than i had originally planned, but i hope this is sort of what you had in mind <3 

(also, i just feel like its important to say that i have always been an em dash stan, i would never use chat gpt or any kind of ai in any of my work. this, and my other work i have yet to post is absolutely riddled with em dashes and semicolons and i refuse to let ai take that from me). 

Tag list: @siriusblackloml @twd-bee3 (love y’all hehe), message or comment to be added!