spaghetti .

from : @trashtozier​​

AT FIRST IT HITS HIM LIKE A BRICK WALL...  running face first into pain and suffering and yearning. it’s seeing his face in his mind and suddenly feeling under the weather - hyperventilating while his sense of sight suddenly filled with black spots and goes blurry. fingers searching for his inhaler and blasting two puffs of medication  ( though he knows it’s only a placebo )  into his mouth and allowing it to cool down his entire body. careful inhales of fresh air to EASE the trembling. the realization is filled with panic and terror and in the very back of his mind he’s sure it’s ma’s voice reminding him how sick this is. how her poor eddie  -  bear is ill and she’s the ONLY ONE who can heal him.

realizing that he’s IN LOVE with his best friend turns into three entire days of avoiding richie tozier. a feat that nearly tears him apart.

it’s three days of walking the halls and looking over his shoulder or ducking into a classroom when he thinks he hears that familiar voice shouting his name. some bullshit EXCUSE mumbled to bill or beverly as to why he has to hurry home as soon as the school bell rings to release it’s students. eddie FEELS sick, his stomach in knots, twisting and turning all twenty four hours of the day. he barely sleeps. and as an added measure - the walkie talkie  ( still hidden under his pillow )  is turned off for the first time in years. three whole days of not feeling like himself, actually believing the voice in his head when it reminds him that this is some sickness. the very sickness that his mother warned him about nearly each time richie hung around. as if she could sense it.

      but then  -  eddie comes to his senses.

he remembers that time, just a few years ago, when he’d thrown the pill bottles onto the floor and told his mother he was DONE taking the placebos. it had been the day he’d promised himself he was done succumbing to a fake illness. no longer was he allowing his world to revolve around that damn watch that beep beep beeped !  at the same time every day as a reminder to take those medications. the same day he’d tossed his fanny pack and decided to be BRAVE. of course, this doesn’t mean he’s going to waltz up to richie and express his undying love. they still live in this hell hole of a small town. kids still walk the halls searching for others to tear down and talk about in whispered conversation behind their backs. it takes three days to get over his fears, seventy two hours of hell without his best friend. but eddie has always been strong, underneath it all. always been braver than anyone gives him credit for.

      ❛ richie, wait up !! ❜

VOICE ECHOES THROUGH THE HALLS  as he sees the black curly hair turning the corner. the smaller boy picks up his pace, holding onto the straps of his backpack as he sprints ahead to catch up. a smile curls onto his lips  -  obviously there’s no pretending that he didn’t just IGNORE his best friend for days. but, that’s what apologies are for. they have been through worse. gaze fills with unsaid regret as he looks up at richie, gulping down the panic and worry. he continues to smile through it, allows himself to feel the warmth that spreads through him at just the sight of his dorky glasses and untameable hair. eddie loves richie.            A FACT;  like how the grass is green and the sky is blue. it simply took a minute for eddie to allow himself to understand it - though it’s been there for years. longer than he could even know.

      ❛ sorry for, y’know. disappearing. ❜  eddie says, holding eye contact. if he looks away, he might chicken out.  ❛ do you wanna hang out after school? ma gave me my allowance early, we can go to the comic book store! there’s a new punisher issue out. we can read it together...  like we used to. ❜  shoulders rise and fall, words falling from his lips faster than he can think of them. getting it out before richie can interrupt him.

from : @stoiretale  /  bev

SEEING HER AGAIN WAS LIKE COMING HOME..  something that will never be understandable is how eddie had forgotten all of his best friends, how he’d forgotten beverly. and, they’d all come to the conclusion that the whole FORGETTING THING had been linked to derry, to the fucking clown. not only had it stolen their childhoods, but it took twenty seven long years away from them where they hadn’t actually known themselves. hadn’t gotten to grow old with their friends. and  -  how fucked up is that ?? seeing beverly walk through the doors of the jade was  —  it was like everything he lost came rushing back to him. a sense of FAMILIARITY washing over his entire being.

he remembers the summers they had together. how thankful all of the losers had been when beverly hadn’t had to move away from derry after that summer. the losers had been allowed to have more summers to GROW closer. that bond between them strengthening with every single day  ( unfortunately it wasn’t strong enough to power through leaving maine ) . where richie was eddie’s best friend, beverly was like a confidant. the two of them got their first jobs together at the small ice cream shoppe that eddie can’t remember the name of. the two of them growing even closer during those evenings, scooping ice cream. of course, they had shared secrets between one another. conversations at work stayed in that cold shop. just between the two of them. the job, though it only lasted during the hot summers, had been like a second HOME to eddie. where he got away from his mother’s grasp and her worries. he could leave behind the inhaler and countless pill bottles that his mother insisted on him taking even though he didn’t need them. it seemed like bev could always see through eddie  -  even if he didn’t always like it. she knew what was going on in his mind.

seeing her again was like finding a sentimental item from his childhood. it was something he wanted to hold CLOSE and never let go of. of course this meeting at the restaurant was for reasons none of them were ready for, eddie would have been okay with it never ending. he hopes that, this time, when they all leave derry once more  ( if they leave )  they will all be allowed to keep their memories.

      ❛ bev        ❜

from : @chucklicious​

THIS IS HOW ITS BEEN THEIR ENTIRE FRIENDSHIP...  the two of them are surely closer than any of the other losers. be it, the simple fact that the two boys feed off of one another’s personality. richie, just chaotic and unmedicated, needed an OUTLET for his antics  -  his ever running mind that no one can keep up with. the voices and jokes that others rolls their eyes at. eddie on the other hand, is cooped up in his home with an overbearing mother who doesn’t allow her son to be who he is, has no way of expressing who he really is. he’s quiet when home, unused energy pent up and hidden away. when they get together  ( outside of school or on the off chance eddie is allowed out of the house )  it’s their only chance to let those sides of themselves COME OUT and play. their energies match, bounce off of one another. it’s one of the many reasons why they are best friends.

each of his friends mean something to him. something that could never be taken away. they’re more family than anyone else - including his mother. but, when richie gives eddie his FULL attention, that’s when his heart races or skips a beat. he’ll pretend to shake his head and shove richie’s hand away when fingers pinch at his cheek and calls him cute  ( the pink rising in his cheek is not something that needs to be brought up ! ) . now, this certainly doesn’t mean that eddie laughs at all of richie’s jokes. sometimes being the first to tell richie to SHUT UP when he pulls some stupid voice out at the worst time possible. or he will straight ignore richie for the sake of his own sanity.

but at times, he simply cannot help himself. a joke rolling off richie’s tongue at the most inopportune time, something stupid that eddie wouldn’t know how to repeat, not that he’d want to. for a moment, silence falls over them, richie’s british accent faulty as he delivers the punchline. a smile pulls at the shorter boy’s lips, despite trying to hide it and will it away. it only grows, turning into a toothy grin before giggles bubble through his lips. before eyes close completely, eddie is sure he can see stanley rolling his eyes and sighing. it’s worth it when eddie opens his eyes again to see the wide smile on richie’s lips, the JOY that overtakes his big eyes behind those black glasses.