Solit of fortressude

the purpose of having a name for the flavor of your product is to tell me what flavor your product is

apparently, nobody ever told you this, and so you think the purpose of naming flavors is to sound like Death Knight talents

The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate. Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I’ve never heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version of Let it Go.

Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the repairman said he couldn’t find anything wrong with it.

People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking lot multiple times a week.

It’s open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even happening. 

Regular customers included:

A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate pieces of literature on the subject

A little person named Kevin who told me “sometimes I call myself a dwarf when I’m feeling whimsical”

An actual group of Neo-Nazis

An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)

Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time

A Scottish landscaper who told us we “couldn’t prove he doesn’t know Simon Pegg”

two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel is bisexual or not

Rachel Rose Mitchell wrote music for the Homestuck Album coloUrs and Mayhem: Universe A (Distance of 1).

Griffin McElroy used a piece of Rachel Rose Mitchell’s work in The Adventure Zone (Distance of 2)

Lin-Manuel Miranda appeared on MBMBAM (Distance of 3)

Andrew Hussie wrote Homestuck

Much of the music for homestuck was composed by Toby Fox

Toby Fox made Undertale

MatPat gave a copy of Undertale to the Pope.