#sadposting

nothing is as painful as losing a friend who feels like a soulmate except for reminiscing on it years later and realizing as more time passes it becomes more and more likely they truly are gone from your life for good except for the bittersweet memories that will haunt you forever

I haven't been posting about it anymore, but the mourning has been coming back every now and then, intensifying in frequency as May has progressed. I correctly guessed that this would be a rough month, with his birthday at the end. I'm saving up my griefposting until then, so that I can purge it, all at once, from my system. at the very least, it's nice that the grief is now tinged with an appropriate dosage of anger at what happened, and sober acknowledgement that it wasn't going well anyways. i was just swept up in the delusion that it could work. I loved him so intensely....

I wish I had more friends that I could like cuddle. Maybe smooch a bit :( . Wish there were more people down for platonic snuggles.