past life

“Here. Hold my cake.” Squad: ENTP, ESTP, ISTP

“Of course this will work.” Squad: INTP, ENTJ, INTJ

“What does this button do??” Squad: ESFP, ENFP

“Pull my finger!” Squad: ESFJ, ENFJ

“That hurt.” Squad: INFJ, ESTJ, ISTJ

Stereotype ENTJ: Dominant. Efficient. Strategic and ideal leaders.

Real ENTJ: One of the few people able to actually physically frown, don’t understand how they’re “scary”

Stereotype INTJ: Evil masterminds. Smarter than you. Are the superior beings.

Real INTJ: Misplaces anything that isn’t physically attached to them, no longer able to recognize when they’re being sarcastic or serious

Stereotype ENTP: Quickest thinkers you’ll ever meet. Witty. Intellectual masters of debate.

Real ENTP: Used memes so much that they became one and are accepting of this fact, catchphrase is some version of “Well, actually–”

Stereotype INTP: In possession of more knowledge than the Internet. Reclusive geniuses. Know all, are humble.

Real INTP: Sexually attracted to science, volunteer plethora of useless facts every hour, zero spatial and social awareness

Stereotype ENFJ: Kind. Loving. Hearts of gold and wills of steel.

Real ENFJ: Will replace your mother and be okay with that, judge being judgemental of judging judgemental judgments

Stereotype INFJ: Mysterious and tricky to get to know. More unique than anyone you’ve ever met.

Real INFJ: One way or another, embarrass themselves every single day, somehow, consistently

Stereotype ENFP: Full of life and love. Passionate lover. Always fighting for a cause.

Real ENFP: Blink abnormally fast and probably should not drink coffee ever, have to make conscious effort to not smile, should take more things more seriously

Stereotype INFP: Gifted with emotional intelligence. Spiritual and believes in the soul, the natural course of the world, and love.

Real INFP: Really good at laughing at themselves which is necessary because they f*ck up constantly

Stereotype ESTJ: Intelligent. Dependable. Productive and competent. Forward-thinkers.

Real ESTJ: Remind teachers about homework distribution and collection every single day of the week, get off on educational videos

Stereotype ISTJ: Rule-followers. Responsible. Duty drives their perfection.

Real ISTJ: Sometimes sleep over 12 cumulative hours in a day

Stereotype ESTP: Daredevil. Live life on the edge. Famous and popular.

Real ESTP: 100% of decision-making is weighing the pros, ignoring the cons, and shrugging, then doing whatever stupid thing they got dared to do

Stereotype ISTP: Cool as hell. Detached and indifferent. Smart tinkerers.

Real ISTP: Won “Most Stubborn and Silent” for Senior Superlative page in high school yearbook

Stereotype ESFJ: Genuine and affectionate. Would take care of a sick stranger if needed. Make friends everywhere they go.

Real ESFJ: Value self-worth based on quality of and feedback for homemade baked goods, the holiday season is their life source

Stereotype ISFJ: Sweet. Innocent. Fragile and caring hearts who love their friends.

Real ISFJ: Hate conflict so much that they get second-hand anxiety from watching cliché emotional plot twist movies

Stereotype ESFP: Epitome of style and fashion. Impossibly cool. At every party and loved by everyone.

Real ESFP: Physically CANNOT stop making noises and fidgeting, all storage on their phones is taken up by hundreds of selfies in various poses

Stereotype ISFP: Exceptional artists. Emotionally deep. Humanitarians and always helping the planet.

Dominant: Imo killing another human being would be justified if it meant preventing something worse from happening, like if Donald Trump became president and someone assassinated him to prevent the US from getting totally fucked by a leader like him. But if that did happen, there would always be a chance for there to be some unfortunate consequence such as someone worse rising to power or violence becoming more prominent in the US as a result of protests and other movements caused by the political unrest and WAIT DOES “UNREST” MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS *Googles definition of “unrest”* oh fuck yeah, I was right.

Auxiliary: *Tries to staple two sheets of paper together* *Stapler is broken and can’t staple* *Takes a staple out and pushes it through the sheets with their bare hands*

Tertiary: *Gets a near-perfect score on a math test* That felt nice, I could totally make a career out of doing math if I wanted to!